Saturday, 27 December 2008

Iranian Anti-Christ Delivers Alternative Xmas Message

Allowing Iran's president to deliver Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message has been judged by some government know-all’s as ‘the biggest media bollock dropped in 2008’.
President Mahmoud Ah’madasmedad, in a repeat of his popular Tehran stand-up comedy act, will be shown telling British viewers "the general will of Islamic nations is to destroy the evil Zionist Israel and return Palestine to it’s rightful owners : the Gaza gangsters.”

Channel 4’s decision has angered some MPs, who branded him a "dangerous fanatic" with anti-Semitic, anti-gay and anti-fast food views.
Tory MP for East Oiks, Mork Prattchard told reporters “Channel Four has given a political platform to a man who wants to annihilate Israel and continues to persecute Christians at Christmas time, just like the Romans did, feeding them to the lions and not saying sorry after.”

Channel 4 justified its actions, saying they were offering viewers an "alternative world opinion" from that which is normally force fed to a gullible, brain-dead public by the Zionist dominated Western media on a daily basis.
A Channel 4 spokesperson told reporters “It’s all about free speech. Even world leaders who are absolutely bonkers have a right to express their opinions,even if they do want to nuke Israel.”

The speech, in Farsi with Serbo-Croat and Swahili subtitles, is its 16th alternative Christmas message and will be shown after a brief introduction to Mr. Ah’madasmedad putting his views in context while lying on a psychiatrist’s couch, Channel 4 stated.
In the speech President Ah’madasmedad will congratulate the people of Britain on the anniversary of the birth of Jesus of Nantwich, whom for some oddball reason he erroneously believes was born in Cheshire.

Labour MP Louise Bigconk, chairwoman of the Smegmadale Jewish Movement, said: "I condemn Channel 4's decision to give an unchallenged platform to a loony who denies the holocaust while preparing for another, and claims homosexuality does not exist while his regime hangs gay boys from cranes in the street. Who will deliver next year's alternative Christmas message? Will it be Atilla the Hun or Colonel Madman Ghadaffi?"

Israel’s Ambassador to the Court of King James’s, Rabbi Isaac Crunt, told the media: "This man is a deranged Islamic despot who is working towards the annihilation of Israel. He should learn to embrace and love his neighbours as we do with those gormless Palestinian twats who squat on our doorstep.”

Channel 4's first alternative Christmas message was delivered by gay icon Quentin Crisp in 1993. Mr. Crisp was, by a strange coincidence, hung from a Tehran crane jib while on a shirt-lifters ‘Persian Pleasures’ holiday tour of Iran only last year.

Others who have previously given the alternative Christmas speech broadcast include such talentless egocentric clots as French actress Fidgitte Bardot, former X Factor slapper Sharon Osbourne and TV chef Gordon ‘Tourettes’ Ramsarse.

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