Mrs. Lorraine Kong took her son, King, out of a junior stage production of the 2001 hit movie Planet of the Apes, accusing the Bristol school of racism.
The play, a joint venture production by the Ashley Down’s Syndrome Infant School and St. Simian’s Primate College, was due to be performed later this month.
Mr. Andrew Lloyd-Wookie, head of drama productions at St. Simian’s, told The Rockall Times Arts correspondent, Lenny Lemur, “I selected King to play the part of General Thade as he bears a natural resemblance to Tim Roth’s superb 2001 film study of the character, with those prognathous jaws and the way he continually snarls and drags his knuckles along the ground.”
“Another plus that impressed all the production staff is his talent for juggling a clutch of tennis balls with bare feet.”
However, far from being overjoyed that her son had secured a leading role in the play, mother-of-twelve Mrs. Kong, 17, registered an official complaint with the school, stating: “Everyone is aware of the racist connotations of asking a black pupil to play a monkey, even if he does behave like one.”
In direct contrast with his wife’s opinions, and speaking from the family’s tree house home in Baboon Crescent, the boy’s father, Kenny Kong, an unemployed banana bender, called a Spade ‘a Spade’, informing the media “It am a great shame de dumb bitch ‘as pulled dis racist crap. Dis coulda bin King’s big chance for a cay-reer on de stage. Wot am de harm in it? De folks in de story am nearly all monkeys anyway.”
King himself was indifferent to the whole affair and spoke to the media while swinging from a tree branch in Bristol’s Barbary Park.
“Me Mum’s daft, it’s all bleedin’ political correctness gone gaga. When I went ‘ome from school an’ told ‘er I’d got the part of General Thade in the play, she went ape shi*t an’ started all this racist stereotypin’ codswallop.”
Speaking for the local charity, Support Against Racist Incidents, Ms. Batook Panda, director of SARI, told reporters “There’s no suggestion of deliberate racism, but we question the ‘sensitivity’ of casting King as a monkey, even if the majority of the production’s characters are composed of apes.
Perhaps it might be better if they staged a production of Chicken Run or Animal Farm – anything without monkeys in it.”