In today's 'Let's Kick Some New Labour Party Establishment Ass' nasty news roundup we bring our readers the latest and greatest hot gossip topic: Political Sleaze' – a timely scandalous exposé of 'opposition party political hypocrisy' from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – publishing, as always, 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire and parody to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% predatory paedo' elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State Sabbatean death cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.
Yep, as per the banner headline states: the gravy train now standing at Downing Street platform one ..... just read on:
Lo and behold,
it’s post-election payback time, so cock a careful ear and listen to the
clackety-clack on the rails from Labour’s graft n corruption gravy train, as it
rolls out of the station - full steam ahead for the Crony Express - a political
control system operating through corporate nepotism and genetic lineage - and
even more sinister means of blackmail and power-driven coercion.
Regardless of these criminal undertones, Sir Keir is hot to trot, awarding peerages and top ministerial roles like a brothel Madam handing out condoms at a bachelor night Shag-a-Thon – with the first ‘ladyshit’ title going to one expenses scandal-mired former cabinet minister who once had the brass-necked arrogance to proclaim that – ‘the Lords is no place for disgraced politicians’ – such as herself.
Wearing a face of acute embarrassment, one of Number 10’s Labour dogsbody’s admitted, after having his sticky palm crossed with silver by gutter press hacks, that ex-Home Secretary Jacqui Shit was returning as Education Minister, ‘and’ bestowed with a peerage, to massage her inflated ego.
Doubtless canny political watchers and critics will recall with clarity that Jacqui Shit had the audacity to charge taxpayers – on her personal House of Conmans expense account – for renting two ‘pay-per-view’ BD/SM hard porn movies – to attempt to arouse her ex-husband’s lagging libido, and into ‘spankies’ mood.
Then, to add insult to injury, this public funds embezzler designated her hapless sister’s home as her main address for Parliamentary allowances – and by using this scam, the light-fingered Jacqui had fiddled £116,000 quid of taxpayer-funded expenses on her family's Redditch home since becoming an MP.
But that’s typical of the bottle blonde dunce - beset by gaffes and errors, she was hopelessly out of her depth at one of the top jobs in politics – and obviously better suited for a role as shelf stacker at Poundland – or a Pestco Extra.
Ergo,
the credibility-deficient Stammerer and his U-Turn Party are going to ‘sort
out’ the NHS – and the striking junior doctor rebels - hopefully they start
with the current ‘sadly lacking’ to ‘non-existent’ NHS dental services for
adults - and specifically OAPs - who can’t afford to fork our mega-bucks for a
filling or dentures – and are rendered unable to chew even a bowl of porridge.
We take
scrupulous note that the ex-New Labour Slime Minister, and notorious US
stooge cum war criminal, Anthony ‘Charles Lynton’ Bliar, is conspicuously in
and out of 10 Downing Street like a blow fly round cow shite, attempting to spread
his toxic opinions and influence on neophyte PM, ‘Sir’ Keir Stammerer - while
rumours abound that the noxious, career sodomite presence of arch-degenerate Lord Peter
Scandalson - aka Satan's Little Helper - has been espied slithering into Number
10 during the hours of darkness, through the back door's cat flap.
Editor’s note: should that read ‘rat flap’?
Hark, if you
will, at Labour’s more at scent than substance pre-election pledge to abolish
the Upper House of Frauds, and all in it - Stammerer and his Morgan McScrote-powered
Labour political machine are already dusting off inept politicos from the
scandal-ridden Bliarite era, and given roles in the new Labour government – a
factor only surpassed for its iniquity by the corrupt stench of dishing out
gravy train peers appointments - in an attempt to push through Labour policies
and boost the representation of Labour-aligned split-arsed peers in the previously-maligned Upper
House.
Regardless of their links to graft and corruption scandals past, several retiring MPs - including Margaret Beckett, 81, Margaret Slodge, 79 and Harriet Harmful, 73, have been bestowed with such questionable peerages in Sir Keir’s dissolution list.
Conversely, to look on the ‘bright side’ (sic) of things - topping Labour’s ‘To Do’ list is solving the current housing shortage to accommodate the hordes of unwashed illegal rubber boat migrant types they’re welcoming ashore along our island’s once-secure South Coast-which shall doubtlessly involve a horrific swathe of environmental greenbelt abuses when throwing up rows of jerry-build tenements across the breadth of England’s green and pleasant rolling countryside.
Meanwhile, back in the House of Conmans, dumpty Dianne Abbott is declared the symbolic Mother of the House, while Tory grandee, Sir Edward Leigh is set to become Father of the House – if his alcohol-bloated head doesn’t explode first.
Labour whips are on the ball too,
threatening their MPs with a Chinese burn if they’re caught taking the piss out
of the party’s member for poxy Oxford East – none other than Anneliese Doddering
– due her Gorgon’s-stare hair-do – which appears to have been fashioned by getting
dragged through a hedge backwards.
Really, raking in a cabinet minister’s salary and she can’t afford a brush or comb – or a trip to the local coiffeur? There again, this pillock can’t even define the biological difference twix a man and a woman.
But an all-round thumbs-up for ‘Two Jobs Dodds’ – not only tasked as Minister of State at the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office – but also Minister for Women and Equalities at the Department for Education – a post she shares with Bridgette – the fidget – Phillipson.
Yep, check if you like, but it’s not a typo – ‘two’ Equalities Ministers, doubtless squabbling over who gets to sit where in the House of Conmans – but ‘equality-wise’, are they equally-equal?
Ha! That one’s on a par with Orwell’s old Animal Farm proclamation from the porcine Grunt Squad: “All animals are equal – but some are more equal than others”.
Oh my, reflecting on the above, what a fucking mockery Broken Britain’s Parliament has become – and we speculate WTF would our once-Lord Protector, Oliver Cromwell, have to say if he were to view this slapstick comedy-themed carnival – a veritable circus without a tent – headed by very person, Stammerer, who, in the trusted role of Director of Public Persecutions repeatedly – and most conspicuously, failed to prosecute fellow Freemason, the BBC DJ, and celebrity sex pest rapist cum paedo kiddie fiddler, Jimmy Savile.
And now, welcome to the prevaricating ‘Sir Keir’ Stammerer’s all-new Labour Gulag board game – for those family members of voting age: Spot the U-Turn.
Tax the top earners vs no plans to raise income tax.
We
need immigrants for our labour (sic) force, and allow them here to study - versus
no plans to implement an open borders, or freedom of movement policy.
Pledge
to abolish student tuition fees – until some bankster type sticks a foot in
your arse and says ‘no way’ - thus we now have tuition fees as the
economy-saving order of the day.
Sir
Keir’s Mum swore by our free NHS, but as it is in such a pathetic state of
chaos, and sans free dentistry, he now recommends you go private – and into
debt.
And
let’s not forget the HS2 rail line – now you see it – now you don’t.
Oh yeah, that’s Sir Keir – with this ‘hypocrisy beyond borders’ for y’all folks – the twat who publicly announced – as a dig at the Tory gang: “If you can’t keep your promises, then don’t make them in the first place”.
A mere three days after Labour came to power, their new Defence Secretary, John ‘Beaky’ Healey, has attended an arse-kissing commemoration service in Ukraine with Zippy Zelensky – pledging – on behalf of a ‘non-consensual’ British taxpayer, to supply, free of charge, a fast-track a package of nasty weapons – including artillery pieces and dozens of Brimstone missiles – in addition to the £7.6 billion quid's-worth of military assistance already gifted to Ukraine since 2022 to fight against Russia’s Bad Vlad Putrid.
The ‘fuck Russia’ announcement came in the wake of the new Foreign Secretary, the pigshit-thick David Scammy, proclaiming military, economic, political and diplomatic support for the Ukraine will remain ironclad under a Stammerer-led Labour Government – sans any format of consideration of what Russia’s ‘military’ reaction might be to its homeland getting battered by British-supplied weaponry.
Okay, a simple aside from the British armaments being supplied to Ukraine, to attack Russia with. Can some fucker or their dog ‘please’ supply Zelensky with a change of t-shirt – we’re sick of seeing the scruffy, unshaven twat in that old, soiled combat green rag – with the borscht stains down the front.
Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.
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