National Rename: ‘Not So Great’ Britain?

The Tory Nasty Party’s former Minister for Woke Affairs, Ann Widdecombe, has publicly lashed out at a Guardian press journalist – one Martin Kettle - with a post-menopausal fury unique to senile old bats - publicly branding him a ‘Black Arsed Hack’ - after he suggested that our nation should consider modifying its long-standing – and grossly ‘egocentric’ – (more at pompous and pretentious) - moniker of ‘Great Britain’ to a basic ‘British Isles’ title - as this once ‘United Kingdom’ of ours is no longer ‘Great’ – nor very ‘United’ - with the uppity Welsh, Scots, and Ulster Irish neighbours, whom we share these once-sacred and blessed Isles of Albion, clamouring to be loosed from Worstminster’s leash, and ‘do their own thing’.

A fact, c’est non – all three of the fore-mentioned loser status co-occupants of our northern archipelago are collectively chomping at the bit for further devolution, and the nonce-infested Scottish north demanding independence – so they can rejoin the Brussels-based EUSSR community.

Apparently Widdecombe’s vacuous whingeing and refusal to accept that Britain is in a state of economic - and global influence - decline, comes in the wake of Herr Kettle scripting an article in the Guardian for Great Britain to drop Great from its name, in order to trigger a national renewal.

Hmmm, one was under the impression a state of actual ‘national renewal’ was achieved when we voted for Brexit under the aegis of the tussle-thatched Bonkers Boris Nonsense, and escaped the parasitic, control freak clutches of Brussels, and the EUSSR jackboot from on our collective, sovereign, national identity necks?

In his gutter press column viz the ‘renaming’ subject, that has drawn the wicked Widdecombe’s ire, Kettle has been flirting with the idea of petitioning the House of Conmans assembly for a new statute - to rebrand our islands "Simply Britain". 

Alternatively, perhaps, if a public, common sense- orientated referendum  was held, then, in keeping with the current downhill socio-economic trends, a more fitting ‘Broken Britain’ – or ‘Food Bank Britain’ – or ‘Illegal Migrant-Infested Britain’ title might be in order – no thanks to the ECHR rulings that we must accommodate the legions of hands-out, scrounging wetbacks that wash up on our southern shores each day – escaping the (no laughing, please) negative effects of ‘climate change’.

Ergo, so too, when we consider the pitiful state of our roads, Pothole Britain also comes to mind; along with ‘Woke Joke Britain’ – and too ‘Three Sex Britain’ - now we have legions of schoolkids queuing up for their gender bender hormone handout rations - sans their parent’s knowledge - and with sex change surgery topping their Christmas wish list.

Regardless of the ageing Widdecombe’s retorts and delusions – and blaming any decline in British prestige on the Covid-1984 scamdemic lockdown period – (during which sweet fuck all was achieved) - hands must be held up in submissive agreement, for Britian, alas, is no longer Great – not on the Imperial scale it attained when sinking the Spanish Armada that threatened to invade our sacred shores; or claiming the north Americas as our exclusive ‘British’ bailiwick; or Wellington commanding the military coalition that inflicted Napoleon Bonaparte’s expansionist demise at Waterloo; or being a prime mover in kicking the Hitlerian Nazi German all-conquering fascist military ass in May, 1945.

Yep, it is a source of national pride we celebrate the fact Britannia really ‘did rule the waves’ – and further conquered and ruled ‘an Empire on which the Sun never Set’ - and led by example much else in that couple of centuries of global colonial power (Constitution, Commerce, Industrial Revolution) - and the exploitation of the Third World – plus our forefathers' prime – and forever shameful – hands-on, profit-motivated involvement in the money-spinning African slave trade.

Now there’s a thought, viz the closing lines of the last paragraph.

How about 'Atonement Britain' – and stage a month’s-long session of national contrition, with our governing Parliamentary House of Conmans, and Upper House of Frauds membershits partaking in a collective act of sackcloth and ashes penance for our nation’s past sins?

Allergy warning: for Woke cult readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth – a socio-political factor which exists, regardless of Overton Window constraints.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations, and heretical, seditious commentary with schismatic and unbridled conjecture - plus measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - into socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.