Church worshippers cried 'heresy' at the Dean of Trinity College (Cambridge) sermon upon hearing his blasphemous pronouncement from the lectern that Jesus was a transgender Messiah – a factor based on speculation that the puncture wound in Christ's side – (inflicted while on the cross, by the spear of Roman soldier, Longinus – and being the last of the purported Five Holy Wounds of Christ) - has a definite 'vaginal appearance'.
The Dean, Dr Michael Banner, (identified colloquially by Trinity students with the moniker ‘Bonkers Banner') was supporting the speculation of junior research fellow Joshua ‘Mental’ Health, who displayed Renaissance and Medieval paintings of the crucifixion, depicting a side wound that he personally likened to a pouting vagina.
Anyone catch the key evidential element here? ‘... displayed Renaissance and Medieval paintings ...’ not photographs – paintings, composed one thousand and three - to five - hundred years ‘after the purported crucifixion event’ - pictorial instruments conjured up by the pious and frenzied imaginations of the artists.
Now here, Heath’s divinely-inspired delusional speculation get even weirder, to quote:
'Collectively these artworks display Christ's simultaneously masculine and feminine body, and the side wound takes on a decidedly human vulval aspect – sans public hair, labia and clitoris. Hence, if the body of Christ, as these paintings suggest, is the body of all bodies, then his body is also a transgender body.’
Heath used the 14th century painting ‘Pietà with the Holy Trinity’ by Jean Malouel, on display in the Louvre, to illustrate his pretentious, bordering on neurotic, opinion - according to one report in the Daily Shitraker gutter press tabloid’s ‘art section’ – with further ‘confirmation’ (sic) of Heath’s opinion provided by French artist Henri Maccheroni’s 1990 work 'Christs' – and too by the 13th century 'Prayer Book of Bonne of Luxembourg'.
Conversely, in an emotional post-sermon letter to Dean Banner, one worshipper related that: 'I left the church Evensong service in a state of tears and distress, utterly contemptuous of such imagery when it is applied to our Lord Jesus from the pulpit – and this new age heretical belief that by cutting a hole in a man, through which he can be penetrated, he can become a woman – and we are invited to contemplate the martyrdom of a cross-dressing, transsexual Christ the Redeemer’.
Okay, let’s step back a couple of paces and consider the reality – harsh, for some – or otherwise, that the Jesus the Messiah / Saviour fable is based solely on a plethora of ontological hand-me-down / word-of-mouth proof of his existence - all of which has been subject to distortion and exaggeration by persons with a self-interest agenda to pursue – and none more so than the Roman Pio family who scripted the ‘Gospels’ – and later by a succession of Catholic Church / Vatican agents.
Further, there is zero hard evidence in the historic record that Jesus – as a physical living individual - ever existed, let alone was the product of a virgin birth, or the true son of God, or was crucified at Calvary, or rose from the dead.
Sorry folks, but any and all belief in this one is entirely ‘ontologically-based, and a matter of personal, spiritual ‘faith’.
Ergo, with reflection on the above, to thus speculate that Jesus was gay, or a cross-dressing tranny, is utter rubbish – and more so that the spear wound in Christ’s right side bears any remote resemblance to a gaping vagina - makes one ponder on Joshua Heath's level of intimacy with the women from which he gained his anatomical knowledge - and sexual experience - if he considers the portrayed wound in Christ's side to resemble the human female pussy.
There again, who really knows, for as the Monty Python gang once speculated in Life of Brian viz ‘the Messiah’ – “He’s been a very naughty boy”.
Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.
This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.
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