Who Blew Up The Pipelines?

President Vlad Putrid’s (actually the Russian peoples’) money-spinning Nord Stream natural gas pipelines, laid across the length of the Motherland - from the Western Siberian wells to the Vyborg and UST-Luga coastal terminals, and along the bed of the Baltic Sea to their European consumer destination points - have been holed in several locations by undersea sabotage explosive devices – which, at this juncture in time, uncertainty surrounds what the cause was – terrorist dolphins, or torpedoes, or diver-laid shaped charges – or who were the actual rogue nation state ‘Whodunit’ actors.

However, the IQ-deficient President of the good ole US of A, ‘Dementia Joe’ Bidet, in true blue McCarthyism fashion, obviously points the fickle finger of Fate and blames his enemy of choice – Russia, and the reviled Vlad Putrid - for acts of self-harm sabotage.

Conversely, any fucker n their dog with a couple of memory cells still functioning, (unlike Alzheimer’s Joe) will recall both the brain-dead Bidet ‘and’ that grossly fat slug of a meddling ‘career diplomat’ (sic) Victoria Nuland – the porcine Under Secretary of State for Political Affairs - and long-term Mid-East and Ukraine political meddler – (plus being the spouse of 9/11 false flag attack plot participant, Robert Kagan – the pro-Zionist co-founder (with Billy Bob Kristol) of the now-defunct neoconservative Project for a New American Century think tank) – have so recently been recorded – on public broadcast mass media networks - independently bragging – and threatening - they had the military means – and political will – to fuck Russia - and Vlad Putrid - in the ass, by taking out the Nord Stream pipelines.

Further adding to the ‘Yanks Done It’ culpability factor, the US officially views the sabotage of the Nord Stream gas pipelines as a ‘tremendous opportunity’ to wean the continent off Russian energy; Sickretary of State, Antony Blinkered, informed one gutter press hack from the Warmongers Gazette.

Quote: “It’s a tremendous opportunity to once and for all remove the dependence on Russian energy and thus to take away from President Putrid the weaponization of energy as a means of advancing his imperialist designs.”

Que? WTF was that last bit? Imperialist designs? Here we have the neo-colonial expansionist United States of America frying pan resorting to gross hypocrisy and calling the Russian kettle ‘black arse’.

As to Russia being responsible, the pipelines are / were both shut down due ‘maintenance’ (sic) – albeit, in all truth, turned off to deprive supply and thus issue a ‘Winter is coming’ penalty warning to northern European nation end-users – due the NATO members of Europe issuing sanctions against Russia viz their land grab war of aggression in Ukraine.

Thus, from a point of logical progression, why the fuck would Putrid blast holes in his own pipelines when the Russian supply-end of the pipes is where the On / Off spigot valves are?

For the record, and the edification of readers, the source of flow for the Nord Stream 1 and 2 natural gas pipelines is the Bovanenkovo fields in Western Siberia, on the Kara Sea’s Yamal Peninsula – which holds estimated oil and gas condensate deposits of five trillion cubic metres – a natural resource reserve that petroleum geologists refer to, and deify as, ‘one hell of a lot of fucking gas’ - and one solely owned by Gulag Gaz oligarch, Oleg Mobsaroubles, a close associate of President Putrid.

Regardless of the ‘Vlad is Bad’ character assassination campaign currently being driven by US political hacks and their stooge media system, the Deep State actors that pulled this stunt are a sight ‘badder’ than Vlad.

Ergo, the US Deep State / CIA bunglers might well be engaged in a campaign of Chinese whispers that ‘Putrid did it!’ – but the sore thumb truth – for all concerned – is one of ‘the Yanks did it!’ Amen.

Conversely, this does not sit well with international conspiracy theory proponent speculation that the egocentric Swedish climate change doom gremlin, Greta Wankberg, may have had a hand in the sabotage plot.

There again, it’s a bit of a smack in de gob coincidence that both the Nord Stream pipelines – and ‘only’ the Nord Stream pipelines - were sabotaged on the same day that the all-new Norwegian Gaz-System ‘Baltic Pipe’ commenced supplying an unlimited flow of natural gas to Poland, via Denmark.

More to the point of ‘motive’, the pipeline is at the centre of Poland's strategy to diversify its gas supplies away from Russia, that began years before Moscow's  invasion of Ukraine – and resulting EUSSR sanctions - triggered a global energy and supply chain crisis.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.