Oxford Union De-Platform God

Yep, the banner headline strikes the proverbial nail squarely on the head - dead centre. 

The Wokester snowflake clique dominating the board of the Oxford Union’s Higher Education Policy Institution ‘wank tank’ have reached a collective decision that His Holy Omnipotence of Heaven & Earth, God – is to have all references to Himself expunged from the scholastic institution’s library - and teaching syllabus - due His disgraceful harassment, persecution, and torment of Job – oppressive acts causing severe mental anguish and distress – a narrative of empathy-deficient, unmerited suffering; and all recorded in stark, graphic detail within the pages of the Bible’s Old Testament for posterity - and plastered right across the third section of the biblical canon, aka ‘the Ketuvim’ (“Writings”) - there to be gazed upon, with head-shaking revulsion, by all who might choose to read.

Job, a handy enough bloke, and good family man with a wife and kids – until God decides to test ‘how faithful’ he is – and delivers all manner of nasty shit to engulf Job – plaguing the poor fucker with boils, gives him a dose of clap – then sends in the bailiffs and they rip off all of Job’s earthly possessions – including his wife and kids.

Really, that was some control freak neuro-linguistic programming / social conditioning – aka ‘brainwashing’ - trial that God put Job through – torturing him to confess sins the pious old bugger never committed – unlike that shifty twat Lot who got away with incest – on the feeble excuse he was taken advantage of by Midrash and Aggadah, his nympho daughters, while having an afternoon nap.

Then God has the brazen hubris to say ‘Nice one, Job, you’ve passed the test’ – and Job subsequently cops for the Promised Land equivalent of a Euro Millions Lotto jackpot roll-over – in shekels.

Ergo, while God Himself might not come across as a ‘funny bloke’, possessed of an infectious sense of humour; one guy who can most definitely be merited with such attributes is comedian Harry Enfield – who this self-same Woke-infested institute of learning (sic) - the Oxford Union’s debating society - have just de-platformed – for being ‘offensively funny’ – and not this week either, but back in the more sensible days of 2007 – for doing a brilliant Nelson Mandela skit – with blacked face – a spoof that even Mandela found funny.

Que? WTF? How utterly ridiculous it would be, attempting to impersonate Mandela - with a white face.

Hmmm, pity the Woke cult wasn’t around in the ‘Swinging 60’s’ when George Mitchell’s Black & White Minstrel Show was a regular – and popular - telly event – and screened by the ultra-right wing conservative BBC too - yet another iconic institution now fallen casualty to the dreaded Woke contagion.

Funnier still are memories of the illustrious Benny Hill and his televised black face parody impersonations of Ugandan dictator, Idi Amin – a show that aired on both the Beeb and ITV between 1955 and 1989 – the good ole ‘Non-Woke’ years - when common sense still ruled the social roost.

However, the Oxford Union’s Higher Education Policy Institution think tank’s fascist-oriented study has labelled their pariah status ‘exclusions’ as acts of 'quiet no-platforming' of famous celebrity and political faces - a phenomenon defined by the fact that speakers are rejected over snowflake fears they might cause offence to the audience 'wimp contingent'.

Also on the iniquitous victim list have been former New Labour PM, Tony Bliar, due his war criminal record for illegally invading Iraq on the piss weak strength of a concocted dodgy intelligence (sic) dossier – and also one time Scottish Worst Minister, Alex ‘Groper’ Salmond – aka the Porky Pict - for past comments and / or ‘unsuitable’ views held, and not considered compatible to be voiced in polite company.

No shit Sherlock – so not much hope of having Hitler, or Joe Stalin, or Pol Pot – or even the foul-mouthed Lenny Bruce - over for a ‘spiritual table-rattling medium ‘Are You There?’ other-world contact session to liven up the Oxford Union’s Halloween festivities while the Woke cabal have this punctilious, ‘political correctness’ garrotting cord wound tight around the obsequious institute’s neck – and proclaiming it as the pointy, bayonet end of the cancel culture lunacy.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.