Friday, 14 November 2014

Russkie Sniper Snuffs White Widow

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Islamophobia’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to Moscow's 'Crapnaz' news agency (read 'state-run media propaganda network') the world's most wanted al-Shabaab terrorist, 30-year-old Eire-born Samantha 'Sherafiyah' Lewthwaite - dubbed the White Widow and subject of an Interpol Red Notice (WTF that - dead or alive?) - was reportedly gunned down in the Ukraine by a Russian 'volunteer' sniper while cavorting at a Halloween party in Lugansk.

Previously viewed as the innocent Home Counties wife of a closet case suicide bomber and now branded 'the world's most dangerous female terrorist' obviously there's no flies on Sammy baby - or weren't until she got snuffed and started to decompose.

From blowing up all kinds of good shit in Kenya, last month she was issuing "Now hear this!" command orders to a bunch of head-chopping male chauvinist ISIS 'death cult' jihadists in northern Syria - teaching the mujahadeen womenfolk how to succeed as Shaheed Brigade suicide bombers - and touted to be the next in line to take over from the recently 'almost killed' Mossad placemen and Caliphate leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Lewthwaite was married to the London Tube 7/7 hoax Muslim suicide bomber Germaine Lindsay, a Jamaican-born Yorkshire Yardie, who was that stupid he and his best mate, terrorist drill leader Mohammed al Patsy, believed every fucking thing the MI5 goons and Visor Consultants told them, then missed their train connections and ended up getting shot by trigger-happy SO19 assassins at Canary Wharf.

The official smoke n mirrors record claims that the domestic terrorist attack on the London transport network of 7 July 2005 killed 52 innocent commuters and injured scores of others - (all of whom misguidedly trusted their elected government not to pull false flag terrorist attacks in their own country) - and further scarified hundreds more into a state of high anxiety panic, which generated a veritable wave of octane-boosted Islamophobia, prompting neighbours to go round and fire bomb Lewthwaite's Aylesbury house.

Following her husband's purported self-martyrdom as a suicide bomber, Lewthwaite allegedly got the jihadist bug, took a Jamiat-Ulema-i-Islami 'Open Madrassa' Terrorism Made Easy course on the internet - graduating summa cum laude with a Pakistan ISI sponsored NVQ1 in 'Improvised Explosive Devices for Dummies' - then did a moonlight flit from Britain in 2009 - with her four infant sprogs and babysitter in tow (and nary a word of concern from the local social services childcare department) - to concentrate on causing all manner of chaos and mayhem around Darkest Africa - and conducting her very own Atrocity Week Special in hapless Kenya with a grenade attacks on Mombasa beer gardens and totally demolishing Nairobi's Westgate Shopping Mall last September.

This apocryphal Crapnaz news agency claim that Lewthwaite is dead has yet to be verified - and becomes even more bizarre as the report continues: 'The unknown Russian volunteer sniper who killed the British Muslim terrorista now has a price of one million dollars on his head - posted by the White Widow's Ukrainian special forces unit buddies.'

Really, a cool US$1,000,000 bucks. Now where the fuck did they get a million dollars bounty money from - by winning last week's Euro Lotto? More to the point where the fuck are the Russians getting 'volunteer' snipers from? Do they turn up with their own BB guns and play it by ear or does someone actually train them in this most precise and exact science?
Who the fuck knows, maybe they do the same as Sammy and plug for an online Open Uni' course: 'Sniping for Dummies'.

At the end of the day it will all prove to be more scent than substance if the security services have their way - and this scaremonger mythical White Widow will be like bin Laden - more lives than a cat on whizz - as old Osama got snuffed again in a Pakiland hideout ten years after he died from kidney failure in his Afghan Tora Bora timeshare hideaway.
Doubtless MI5 and 6 won't want to lose such a handy fairytale bogeyman / scapegoat to some poxy Russian volunteer sniper fiction and doubtless have her resurrected and popping up again in no time flat - just like Lazarus - or the Highlander - or Elvis in a black balaclava, toting an AK47 and screaming "Allahu Akbar!" with an Irish accent.

Do you live in the Lugansk area? Have you ever worked as a volunteer sniper? Could you recognise White Widow Sammy Lewthwaite from the scores of conflicting news photos circulated of her - especially so if she was wearing a camouflage burka?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a genuine Delta Force Kevlar flack jacket complete with the Pentagon's monogrammed 'The Bullet Stops Here' motto.

Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles – or Syrian refugees - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist epistle. However, a large number of the GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / data mining system’s network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in Cheltenham were temporarily inconvenienced.

Thought for the day. Fuck the Satanist Masonic secret handshake fraternity and Big Brother – and his sister – and the Moloch / Mammon worshipping architects of the New World Order .

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Wilton said...

That is one hell of a hoot. Priceless.
Satire at its very best and brought tears to my eyes with laughter at the insanity of the whole scam and facade.