Plods Issue Terrorist 'Panic Stations' Alert

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Paranoia’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Met Plod Squad's head honcho, Bernard 'Scouse' Hogan Howitzer, yesterday launched Operation Scaremonger, a high anxiety psychological warfare project conjured up by the sociopaths at the venal Tavistock Institute, aimed at getting the common herd useless eaters into a pre-Xmas / festive season pants-shitting paranoia state of acquiescence prior to the passing of Tory transvestite Home Secretary 'Testosterone Terry' May's Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill - currently before the House of Conmans for ratification and becoming yet another draconian law set to nibble the frayed edges of our diminishing liberties and freedom of speech.

The scare-mongering content of 'dual purpose' leaflets (a 'read, shit yourself, then wipe your bum on' advisory flyer) distributed by PCSOs and Community Enforcement Morons on secondment from the Renta-Thug Security Agency, warn that Broken Britain is facing the biggest threat to national security since the last big threat - with hapless commuters advised to 'run and hide' if an Operation Gladio style false flag terrorist attack takes place while they are at a train or bus station, or doing a spot of Christmas shop lifting at one of the ubiquitous Greedy Grocer supermarkets or rip-off Mega Malls.

The campaign is designed to encourage the public to be aware of Islamic terror threats and follows in the wake of Terry May's outlining of a raft of measures to tackle both home-grown extremists - (specifically the sector of our society pissed off with the government's generalised mismanagement of the affairs of state, the slashing of welfare benefits and the despised bedroom taxes inflicted by the equally despised DWP Minister Iain Dunkin Shit - a past master at dispensing collateral human misery) - 'and' those fanatical Muslim scallies returning back home for a vacation in Brummystan after months spent in the scorching deserts of Syria and Iraq - hacking foreign journalists' and aid workers' heads off with a cheap arsed kitchen knife to win a few brownie points with the ISIS death cult.

Launching the campaign yesterday on behalf of British Transport, Paul Crowther, the BTP's Chief Constable, informed amused press hacks: "Six million people travel on Rattle Track every single day - the same amount that Zionist Israel claims were snuffed by Hitler's Nazis in the WW2 Holohoax. So if they put a bomb under one of our trains - like Mossad and MI5 did on 7/7 in 2005 - then it stands to reason that will be ka-fucking-boom and adios to six million tax-paying members of the British electorate who won't be voting for UKIP next May."

Conversely, upon receiving one of the leaflets being handed out at stations instructing passengers what to do in the 'very likely' event of an imminent Muslim terrorist attack - and which included photo-shopped images of scarified people on the edge of nervous breakdowns, running for cover, cowering in shadowy corners, and whispering into their mobile phones, then sticking their heads between their legs and kissing their arse 'goodbye' - a legion of commuters, seeing through this latest Chicken Little paranoia scam for what it is - total bullshit - lashed out and criticised the flyer's disturbing racist content as the latest play in the government's ongoing scaremongering offensive levelled against their own population - designed to further demonise Islam and its Muslim adherents, cause social eruptions in our 'all in it together' multicultural society - and usher in the planned panopticon surveillance society system - and move another step up the agenda ladder to a totalitarian martial law Stasi police state.

London Mayor Kamal Ali Bojo (aka Bonkers Boris Nonsense) spoke with press hacks while handing out leaflets yesterday as part of the Con-Dem coalition government's Counter Terrorism Awareness Week.
Mayor Bojo Ali Bey - touted by Flatbrokes, the UK's ubiquitous High Street bookies as the replacement Tory leader when Posh Dave Scameron gets fired next May - admits he is all in favour of an overarching I-Spy / Nosy Twats Charter to combat Islamic jihadists and any other non-conformist Bolshie elements likely to become infected with Oppositional Defiance Disorder and pursue a course of domestic terrorism to achieve the socio-political ends denied them at the ballot box - by disagreeing with the government and refusing to vote Tory.

The gospel according to Bojo claims: "Well, this here flyer thingy contains all kinds of useful stuff and Arabic phrases like "Please don't shoot me or cut my head off" / "Is that knife sharp?" / "Is this going to hurt?" / "Does your ransom department take Amex cards?" and "Can I phone a friend?"
"So don't forget, if you see any sodding Muslim type oicks buying bomb grade peroxide - even if they are a bottle blonde - or those big packs of nano-thermite black pepper like you get at the Indian markets - then ring MI5 or your local Plod Squad on the 24/7 anti-terrorist hotline."

So much for Broken Britain - and the world is 'Broken' - with a large capital 'B' - life in our once sceptred isle is a fucking nightmare become - with Snoop Dog policing and the steady encroachment of this vile panopticon surveillance system. We don't know WTF is worse - watching horror movies so close to bed-time - or the fucking news.

But what a bonanza for the Libservative government's Big Pharma pals and the ailing National Ill-Health Service this ISIS panic stations alert will be, cause and effect-wise - with the sheeple tuning up in droves for beta blockers and blister packs of Prozac, Zoloft and Celaxa to alleviate their panic disorders, OCD, PTSD, and generalised social phobia / self-harm / suicide conditions.

However Scabby Acrobati, director of the 'No Pain / No Gain' human rights and wrongs charity, was critical of Terry May's proposed measures to tackle terrorism.
"This is fear-mongering gone awry, as the leaflet is basically a copy of the People's Marxist Utopia of China handbook fer a Chinese Fire Drill."
"Then we have these changes ter TPIMs - Terrorism Prevention an' Investigation Measures - ter force suspects ter move ter another part of the country . Wot the fuck's that all about, I asks yer? They move somewhere else an' blow up some other hapless twats pub or corner shop - or chop a pensioner's head off?"

"The whole lot's an Orwellian Big Brother scam - more Kafkaesque really - of raisin' the burden of proof fer imposin' TPIMs - from "reasonable belief" ter "balance of probabilities" - which means we're all fucked if we say Booo ter a goose - then no fucker or their dog will hate our democratic freedoms - cos we won't fuckin' have any."
"A bit like Bald Willy's weddin' ter Katie Middleclass when suspected activists an' protesters woz gettin' collared an' shoved in preventive detention on pre-crime suspicion charges cos they might shout summat not very nice at the royal couple."

Likewise, Bev McSkanger, a 16-year old mother of three from Greater Manchester's notorious Stench Hill sink or swim social housing estate had this to say to gutter press hacks from the Scare-Mongers Gazette outside her Mud Duck Terraces semi.
"Fuck me drunk on an effin' Sunday. I'm gettin' panic attacks every time some twat slams a car door or the effin' smoke alarm kicks off when I'm havin' a bifta in the effin' kitchen - let alone some velcro-head Jolly Jihad bomb chucker wiv a balaclava on comin' round ter cut me effin' head off just cos we got Team England flag curtains wot me Mum give us fer last year's World Cup effort disaster."

"If this latest pile of shite goes through the House of Conmans an' is passed inter law then we're gonna have the plods an' social services an' the rest of the effin' community compliance thugs kickin' yer front door in at any old hour of the day or night an' quotin' yer some breach of whatever numpty bylaw or domestic terrorism statute they like an' snatchin' yer kids fer the local elitist Freemason's paedo ring ter molest an' bugger then strangle in some weirdo blood sacrifice ritual as homage ter Satan."

So, dare we ask without getting our collective collars felt - what the fuck is next? ISIS targeted (sic) by the Equal Opportunities Commission for not providing disabled access to their pantomime fiasco / photo-shopped decapitation extravaganzas?

ISIS Jolly Jihad 'Terror Bomb' recipe:

* 2 parts widely disseminated gutter press / mass TV media black propaganda
* Pick n mix scattering of disinformation soundbites: ISIS bogeymen, bang, panic, high anxiety, mass hysteria, stampede, cold sweat, jitters.
* 1 part sub-nuclear Parliamentary 'scaremongering rhetoric'
* 1 part media reminders of past Muslim false flag domestic terrorist attacks
* Medium nano-particle dash of YouTube ISIS beheading videos

Thought for the day. Odd how the British citizenry was never subjected to this level of outrageous hyperbole when the IRA were successfully blowing up all kinds of shite across our green and pleasant land - plus making a total fuck of the Tory Party annual conference in boring Brighton back in 1984.

Regardless, fuck the Satanist Masonic secret handshake fraternity and Big Brother – and his sister – and the Moloch / Mammon worshipping architects of the New World Order .

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles – or Syrian refugees - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist epistle. However, a large number of the GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / data mining system’s network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in Cheltenham were temporarily inconvenienced.

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