Scots Give Salmond the Big Finger

In today’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ Yea or Nay Independence Referendum edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

So the Independence brouhaha is over and done with for a generation - (maybe, but don't hold your breath) - and Alex 'Porky Pict' Salmond's act of desperation bid of giving a referendum vote to nursery school children over the age of three (along with a SNP monogrammed McCadburys choccy selection box apiece) to gain a winning ballot count has backfired like a Moscovich Aleko 2141 saloon kitted out with a Soviet T-72 battle tank engine and running on paraffin - as street smart canny Scots return a majority No vote.

Well, ain't life a bitch at times, but one can't be any clearer viz this obvious lack of confidence in / 'slap around the head with a big wet fish' knock back of the First Minister Salmond's star-crossed 'go it alone' scheme - which was even rejected by a majority No vote in his own Aberdeenshire East constituency. So much for the SNP's irresponsible 'dark skies' thinking.

Och aye, a 55%+ 'No thank you' from the public demographic, due worries that a Yes vote would see them out of the parasitic EUSSR community and struck off the B of E / Rothshite £££ pound Sterling index - having to rely on a worthless, devalued 'Jockmark' and flagging export orders for haggis, cabers, fried Mars bars, cuddly sporrans, GM Frankenfish salmon and bagpipes as they sank into a Third World status quagmire of IMF borrowing debt - and were reduced to busking like gyppo and pikey migrants, flogging bunches of heather to gullible Jap and Chin and Ham Shank tourists.

Alas, so much for the Independence dynamic, now 'Wind Farms' Alex - founder of the Strichen Cellulite Club - can cut his jingoistic blather and get a grasp back on reality - for what remains of his devastated political career - falling back on Plan B to demand further devolved powers from Westminster - and perhaps firing off a 'Sorrygramme' to Donald Trump to get his US-side foreign investment cash stream flowing again.

Ergo, what now for the Scottish Nonces Party and the porcine pie-scoffing Salmond - this ridiculous Jarjar Binks of Caledonian politics? Well, it's always a problem when ego and ambition surpass intellect and capability, and all eyes will be on the SNP's annual conference in Perth - this year delayed until November - with odds-on bets at Flatbrokes - the UK's ubiquitous High Street bookies - favouring Nicola 'Caviar Kitty' Sturgeon to pull a party fait accompli coup by delivering a fatal Ides of Winter stab in the back and seize command from the lard-arsed Alex.

Thus while Salmond's credibility withers alike a leper's leg on the compost heap, he will doubtless resort to thug mode to offset loss of face and start demanding of the Westminster top dogs - with the persistent intensity of a short time whore who stayed the night - for the full promised whack: more devolved powers.

Now comes the cruncher. If, and only if, the disingenuous Tory PM Posh Dave Scameron and the Lib-Dum Deputy PM Mick 'Forked Tongue' Clogg, keep to their last ditch desperation pledges and bestow increased devolution powers to Holyrood, then a shedload of House of Conmans MPs will be demanding a debate on the West Lothian question. Que? WTF that, most rightly ask?

Specifically, is it fair that English MPs have no say what so fucking ever on devolved issues north of the border, while the kilted Porridge Wog MPs in Westminster can still vote on the same issues wherein they affect England.

More to the point where this devolved powers free-for-all take-away is concerned, a recent poll by the independent Scum-Watch government abuse monitor charity revealed that 62% of English peasants believe Scottish MPs should be banned from voting on England-only laws - while many in Welsh Wales and Northern Paddyland are now - on reflection of Westminster tempting Scottish voters with all manner of Poundland quality allurements and gratuities - demanding further devolved powers to regulate their own respective sheep shagging and bomb chucking cottage industries.

Okay, bullshit besides. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Who the fuck gains and who loses out? Would a Yes or No vote make much fucking difference to the way the Universe as a whole runs on a daily basis?

While a Yes vote would have guaranteed that Hadrian's Wall was rebuilt and Labour leader Ed Millipede's tosspot threat of manning the border with armed guards became a harsh - and necessary - 'visas only' reality - for the Edinburgh based ruling elitists, their 1990 Operation Planet sodomite / pederast wish list - complied by a cabal of Glasgow / Edinburgh based Violate Club fudger-nonce members - would finally have received a legislative review and underage kiddie fiddling legalised - probably along with necrophilia and zoophilia - plus the implementation of appointing each and every child a social services 'Guardian' - whereby Scottish kids would be even more at risk of falling victim to the disgusting paedophile culture that infests the elitist, roost-ruling criminal camarilla of their debilitated society.

Conversely the No and Better Together campaigns claim Scotland is on the verge of societal disintegration, yet the gospel according to Salmond's Yes camp says nothing could be further from the truth.

Er, excuse us, that is precisely 'the truth' - especially when you have a graft and corruption-ridden First Minister, Kenny 'Non-Corroboration' MacAskill as Justice Minister 'and' Mulholland as the Crown Office Lord Advocate - plus the equally bent Police Scotland and Masonic Speculative Society Law Lords - all conspiratorially refusing to field an investigation into historic child sexual abuse scandals - starting with the despicable Hollie Greig case and the offending untouchable cabal of Aberdeen-based Magic Circle elitist establishment paedophiles led by a sitting Sheriff and his secret handshake fraternity cronies that subjected her and a host of other special needs / disabled children to drugging, serial rapes and ritual blood sacrifices - (then imprisoned and / or murdered whistle-blowers and anti-abuse campaigners) - thus the No campaigners are correct and Nonceland's societal disintegration is in a state of advanced rot.

And to add to this systemic festering canker that even the termites and maggots avoid, the Better Together campaign sycophants - mass canvassing besides - actually refused to mention the Salmond / SNP Yes camp's hard line boycott of any inquiry into this suppurating carbuncle of a child sexual abuse scandal involving political and officialdom's worthies and VIP pederast scumsters - lest they upset the status quo. And they have the brazen hubris to talk of moral decay? To quote the age old maxim: silence is in itself a conspiracy and a crime.

Though the majority 'No vote' contingent realised all too well that, further devolution besides, without any form of Westminster oversight then the common herd demographic would be at the absolute mercy of the SNP's Police Nonceland Plod Squad / Stasi state hierarchy - the same Violate Club / Magic Ninth Circle elitist Freemason scumsters who covered up the why's and wherefore's truth of the Dunblane massacre scandal with a 100 year gagging order - and the CIA 'whodunit' meddling in the manipulated Lockerbie inquiry - plus staged the Glasgow Airport false flag Islamic terrorist attack - and hosted a strew more subversions of the course of justice to protect their prissy VIP arses.

To close, on the tender (more at ulcerated / gangrenous) - subject of historic child sexual abuse crimes, even though such are supported by medical reports and the fact that in the Aberdeen / Hollie Greig case both alleged perpetrators and the police have publicly admitted -under oath at Robert Green's 2012 Stonehaven trial - that no investigation has ever taken place into these alleged crimes - yet Alex Salmond still refuses to field an independent Operation Fernbridge style police investigation into the scandalous affairs - let alone copy First Minister Jack McConnell (2004) and publicly apologise to the children who were abused while in care.

Further, to add to his eternal damnation, Salmond refuses to submit to the directives of two Freedom of Information Commissioners - Kevin Dunnion and Rosemary Agnew - viz his knowledge of the Hollie Greig serial rape scandal, regardless of being personally 'physically' handed a legal bundle copy of all complaints and medical reports by the indefatigable anti-child sexual abuse campaigner, Robert Green.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area and whilst purposely blending slanderous comments and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour and hard facts, may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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