Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Well it looks like Arizona’s controversial new immigration law SB 1070, recently enacted due the fact that the Kenyan cuckoo klutz squatting in the White House is wholly unprepared to kick some long overdue ass at the inefficient and corrupt USCIS and stamp down on illegal immigrants (perhaps due being one himself), has incited a legion of other states to follow suit – and conversely incited the riot act from one California local government jobsworth - and too none other than the President of Mexico himself.
The Arizona electorate, sick and tired of wetback illegals sneaking over the border and working for half the minimum wage repairing the Grand Canyon, thus putting good ole redneck boys out of a job, urged their legislators to enact and enforce the SB 1070 immigration law and keep the ‘Big Meteor Hole in de Ground’ state ‘Beaner-free’.
LA Mayor Antonio Corruptioni and the entire Los Angeles City Council voted on a most asinine unanimous decision this week to boycott Arizona in protest of its SB 1070 immigration law by suspending official travel there and ending future contracts with state businesses.
However, in a ’Do we really give a flying fuck’ response Billy Bob Dorkstein, chief panjandrum of the five-member Arizona Corporation Commission, informed a reporter from the Wetbacks Gazette 'If Los Angeles wants to boycott Arizona, it had better get used to reading by candlelight cos we’ll cut their goldarn electricity supply off from every one of our hydro-electric plants on the Colorado River.”
And that folks was the message from Arizona’s top government utilities agency, who threw down the gauntlet by threatening to cut off the city’s power supply as retribution for their knee-jerk reaction boycott.
Down Mexico way the incompetent President Felipe Calderon and his ruling Graft & Corruption Party greasers went into headless chicken mode at Arizona for even daring to consider passing the SB 1070 bill – labelling them Neo-Nazi racist scumbags.
And who can blame Calderon, for his mismanaged basket case Third World shithole is the largest contributor of illegal aliens (12 to 15 zillion) now living and working in the US as there is sweet fuck all to be had back home – apart from poverty with a capital P.
These wetback beaners residing in the United States contribute $24 billion back to the Mexican government’s financial coffers annually in US dollar forex cash transfers – while in total contradiction to the rules of Fair Play the illegal beaner’s criminal activities and generalised lawlessness costs American taxpayers $346 billion per annum spread across 15 US federal agencies.
Amazingly, the inept Calderon and his fellow plutocrats cannot and will not provide jobs and a valid economy for Mexico's own people - whereas his country transports and provides $75 billion in drugs that his cronies ship into the United States annually.
Arizona’s innovative move to stamp out illegal immigration and deport wetback beaner types has resulted in the ‘Americans for Legal Immigration PAC’ organization now filing versions of Arizona's SB 1070 law – (which is designed to help local police enforce America's existing immigration laws as the useless United States Citizen and Immigration Service are either unwilling or ill-equipped to do) - on behalf of seventeen states responding to citizen pressures.
ALIPAC chief Ghengis Xenophobe told the Wetbacks Gazette "The Federal government has been hijacked by special interest groups that are neglectful of their duties and even hostile towards the rightful citizens of America.”
“It is incumbent upon our states to protect American lives, property, jobs, wages, healthcare and especially our social security and welfare benefits from greedy grasping beaners when the Executive Branch fails to honour its Constitutional responsibility to do so by refusing to enforce our existing border and immigration laws – just because the current President is a Kenyan-born illegal himself."
Rumours that President ‘Mr Nobel Peace Prize’ Barky O’Barmy has now cancelled a scheduled trip to Phoenix due the enforcement of SB 1070 and all out of state visitors being required to provide proof of US citizenship on arrival have being vehemently denied by the Oval Office - with the domestic terrorist disseminators of this nasty canard being sought by the FBI and Department of Homeland Security on the orders of White House IT Czar Cass Scumstein.
Hellfire, that’s one way to get shut of the ‘Uncle Possum’ Kenyan Muslim ‘Hope n Change’ impostor – deport the twat back to Africa – or Indonesia.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Broke Lotto Lout Seeks Binman Job
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A notorious National Lottery zillionaire from Twatford-on-Sea says he wants his job as a Scallydale binman back again after pissing his fortune up a pub wall. Lennie Slugg, of Downhill Runne Lane was 14 when he won £9.7 zillion quid on the lotto in November 2002.
The 24 stone porker, who once had the body of a Greek God now has the greasy look of a bankrupt Greek restaurant. Slugg, dubbed "Lennie the Lotto Lout" by the gutter press red top tabloids because of his life of petty crime, collected the 2002 jackpot cheque from Scamalot’s London offices while wearing handcuffs and accompanied by his probation officer.
Interviewed by Andrew ‘Bat-Ears’ Marr for the BBC’s ‘Born Losers’ programme while in a queue outside the Scallydale Jobcentre Plus offices last week, Slugg admitted that he had spent £2 zillion quid of his lottery fortune on cocaine but added he was seriously thinking of quitting drugs.
“Yeah, no bullshit, I donated £1 zillion quid ter the Viv Nicholson Spendthrift Memorial Fund then blew at least £3 zillion quid on wine, women and song as well – plus all me barrister's fees an' fines - and probably squandered the bleedin’ rest. I need ter get some effin’ money comin’ in, don't I? No fucker or their dog can keep on going on as I ‘ave bin – livin’ on £60 quid a week jobseekers allowance after doin' the life of Riley."
Slugg claims he really would prefer working outside to leaning against a pub bar all day – especially so since he’s now broke, but added he needed a course of NHS-funded liposuction to get rid of his beer belly and triple chin before he could start hauling garbage bins around again.
However, Beverly Titwank, spokeswoman for Crapford Environmental Services, which runs the Scallydale refuse service quango contract, told a reporter from the Wheelie Bin Gazette "We are not recruiting for operatives in the area right now. Further, since Mr Slugg gave us the finger without notice that Monday morning in 2002 things have changed quite a bit around here. We no longer employ ‘binmen’ per se but Recycling Technicians – so Lennie the Lout needs to get his arse on a minimum of an NVQ 1 course to get the necessary diploma to qualify for a job."
“Seriously, most of our operatives are now university graduates with Ph.D’s in Carbon Exchange Technology.”
Reflecting on Slugg’s helter-skelter lifestyle since the Lotto win, when he was jailed for nine months in 2006 for admitting affray and assaulting several people at a Christian concert with a fully loaded wallet, causing a compound fracture to one man’s sense of dignity, the former binman had at that time 420 previous offences recorded since 2002.
Two further ‘achievements’ in the notoriety scheme of things included having his name entered in the Guinness Book of World Records for being issued the most Asbo’s (62) ever to a teenage yob, and additionally presented with the Daily Shitraker’s ‘prestigious ‘Knobhead of the Year’ award.
In light of the above Slugg was later ordered by Scallydale Magistrates Court to attend anger management classes after threatening a fellow train commuter in the Pullman dining car with a smoked salmon sandwich and pelting the Rattle Track security guards with handfuls of pate de fois gras, vol-au-vonts and orange blancmange from the smorgasbord buffet table.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
A notorious National Lottery zillionaire from Twatford-on-Sea says he wants his job as a Scallydale binman back again after pissing his fortune up a pub wall. Lennie Slugg, of Downhill Runne Lane was 14 when he won £9.7 zillion quid on the lotto in November 2002.
The 24 stone porker, who once had the body of a Greek God now has the greasy look of a bankrupt Greek restaurant. Slugg, dubbed "Lennie the Lotto Lout" by the gutter press red top tabloids because of his life of petty crime, collected the 2002 jackpot cheque from Scamalot’s London offices while wearing handcuffs and accompanied by his probation officer.
Interviewed by Andrew ‘Bat-Ears’ Marr for the BBC’s ‘Born Losers’ programme while in a queue outside the Scallydale Jobcentre Plus offices last week, Slugg admitted that he had spent £2 zillion quid of his lottery fortune on cocaine but added he was seriously thinking of quitting drugs.
“Yeah, no bullshit, I donated £1 zillion quid ter the Viv Nicholson Spendthrift Memorial Fund then blew at least £3 zillion quid on wine, women and song as well – plus all me barrister's fees an' fines - and probably squandered the bleedin’ rest. I need ter get some effin’ money comin’ in, don't I? No fucker or their dog can keep on going on as I ‘ave bin – livin’ on £60 quid a week jobseekers allowance after doin' the life of Riley."
Slugg claims he really would prefer working outside to leaning against a pub bar all day – especially so since he’s now broke, but added he needed a course of NHS-funded liposuction to get rid of his beer belly and triple chin before he could start hauling garbage bins around again.
However, Beverly Titwank, spokeswoman for Crapford Environmental Services, which runs the Scallydale refuse service quango contract, told a reporter from the Wheelie Bin Gazette "We are not recruiting for operatives in the area right now. Further, since Mr Slugg gave us the finger without notice that Monday morning in 2002 things have changed quite a bit around here. We no longer employ ‘binmen’ per se but Recycling Technicians – so Lennie the Lout needs to get his arse on a minimum of an NVQ 1 course to get the necessary diploma to qualify for a job."
“Seriously, most of our operatives are now university graduates with Ph.D’s in Carbon Exchange Technology.”
Reflecting on Slugg’s helter-skelter lifestyle since the Lotto win, when he was jailed for nine months in 2006 for admitting affray and assaulting several people at a Christian concert with a fully loaded wallet, causing a compound fracture to one man’s sense of dignity, the former binman had at that time 420 previous offences recorded since 2002.
Two further ‘achievements’ in the notoriety scheme of things included having his name entered in the Guinness Book of World Records for being issued the most Asbo’s (62) ever to a teenage yob, and additionally presented with the Daily Shitraker’s ‘prestigious ‘Knobhead of the Year’ award.
In light of the above Slugg was later ordered by Scallydale Magistrates Court to attend anger management classes after threatening a fellow train commuter in the Pullman dining car with a smoked salmon sandwich and pelting the Rattle Track security guards with handfuls of pate de fois gras, vol-au-vonts and orange blancmange from the smorgasbord buffet table.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Saturday, 22 May 2010
FIFA World Cup Terror Attack Foiled
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A captured Jolly Jihadi militant working for terrorist leader Big Al Qaeda and detained in Iraq has given details about a plot to attack the World Cup tournament in South Africa next month.
The Saudi-born terrorist Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Patsy, following a course of extraordinary rendition and an Abu Ghraib manicure, confessed that his people were planning an attack on the Dutch and Danish soccer teams in revenge for insulting cartoons drawn of the Prophet Muhammad.
In 2006 a Danish newspaper published 12 cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a comic character, including one that showed a bomb in his turban – while in the Netherlands certain politicians have expressed anti-Islamic sentiments and labelled the holy Koran as a fascist handbook for the subjugation of women and promoting terrorist activities against the Western infidel tribes of the Great Satan.
Documents detailing the FIFA World Cup terrorist plot and listing Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Patsy’s name, address and cellphone number were reportedly discovered in a recent joint Mossad operation in which top al-Qaeda operatives Abu Ayyub al-Masri and Abu Omar al-Baghdadi were killed yet again – for the fourth time in as many years.
In contrast, CIA chief of station in Baghdad, Colonel Billy Bob Shitflinger, told a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette that it wasn’t clear if al-Qaeda possessed the resources to carry out such a complicated attack in South Africa - that far away from their Mid-East home base of operations – quite obviously completely overlooking the much-publicised false flag fact that the self-same cave-dwelling al Qaeda terrorist scallies had purportedly hijacked four independent commercial passenger aircraft in the US on 9/11/2001 and successfully flown three of them into high profile targets – an even greater distance away from their Mid-East home base of operations than South Africa.
According to Abdullah al-Patsy’s confession, utilising an idea copied from a Roadrunner cartoon, his terror cell planned to build a series of crude dirty bombs inside FIFA World Cup issue footballs with a central charge of C4 packed around with ripe goatshit – to be detonated by a proximity fuse hidden in the goal mouth or triggered by a cellphone signal.
However, al Patsy is reported to have confided “As we are also keen soccer fans we will watch the match first then target and blow up the losing teams so our favourites - the Kabul First Eleven - get through to the final.”
Conversely Pretoria’s Bureau of State Security chief Julius Jaffacake told reporters “This is all a big scam by Iraqi police officials using this Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Pastsy character as at stooge to get free tickets issued to come to South Africa to watch the World Cup on the pretext of foiling some imaginary Muslim terrorist bomb plot.”
“They simply are not going to get away with it and must buy their tickets like everyone else.”
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
A captured Jolly Jihadi militant working for terrorist leader Big Al Qaeda and detained in Iraq has given details about a plot to attack the World Cup tournament in South Africa next month.
The Saudi-born terrorist Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Patsy, following a course of extraordinary rendition and an Abu Ghraib manicure, confessed that his people were planning an attack on the Dutch and Danish soccer teams in revenge for insulting cartoons drawn of the Prophet Muhammad.
In 2006 a Danish newspaper published 12 cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a comic character, including one that showed a bomb in his turban – while in the Netherlands certain politicians have expressed anti-Islamic sentiments and labelled the holy Koran as a fascist handbook for the subjugation of women and promoting terrorist activities against the Western infidel tribes of the Great Satan.
Documents detailing the FIFA World Cup terrorist plot and listing Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Patsy’s name, address and cellphone number were reportedly discovered in a recent joint Mossad operation in which top al-Qaeda operatives Abu Ayyub al-Masri and Abu Omar al-Baghdadi were killed yet again – for the fourth time in as many years.
In contrast, CIA chief of station in Baghdad, Colonel Billy Bob Shitflinger, told a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette that it wasn’t clear if al-Qaeda possessed the resources to carry out such a complicated attack in South Africa - that far away from their Mid-East home base of operations – quite obviously completely overlooking the much-publicised false flag fact that the self-same cave-dwelling al Qaeda terrorist scallies had purportedly hijacked four independent commercial passenger aircraft in the US on 9/11/2001 and successfully flown three of them into high profile targets – an even greater distance away from their Mid-East home base of operations than South Africa.
According to Abdullah al-Patsy’s confession, utilising an idea copied from a Roadrunner cartoon, his terror cell planned to build a series of crude dirty bombs inside FIFA World Cup issue footballs with a central charge of C4 packed around with ripe goatshit – to be detonated by a proximity fuse hidden in the goal mouth or triggered by a cellphone signal.
However, al Patsy is reported to have confided “As we are also keen soccer fans we will watch the match first then target and blow up the losing teams so our favourites - the Kabul First Eleven - get through to the final.”
Conversely Pretoria’s Bureau of State Security chief Julius Jaffacake told reporters “This is all a big scam by Iraqi police officials using this Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Pastsy character as at stooge to get free tickets issued to come to South Africa to watch the World Cup on the pretext of foiling some imaginary Muslim terrorist bomb plot.”
“They simply are not going to get away with it and must buy their tickets like everyone else.”
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Earth Entering New Cold Climate Era
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
No doubt everyone has, at some time or the other, come across the expression “If it wasn’t for bad luck they wouldn’t have any.” Well, for Al Bore and his Climategate gang at East Anglia University, at the UN’s IPCC - and the Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Exchange banksters all ready and set to rake in zillions of $$$ bucks buying, selling and bartering CO2 offsets – bad luck is the name of the game.
So, for these global warming scaremongers whose criminal doctored data and black propaganda bullshit converted CO2 from an inert and harmless gas - exhaled by mammals and converted into oxygen by the planet’s flora - into a devastating political Weapon of Mass Distraction charged with mega-bucks profiteering capabilities – they’re all shit outa luck.
The Space and Science Research Centre (SSRC), the leading independent research organization in the United States on the subject of our planet’s historic and continuing trend of climate change, which has been going on since the Dawn of Time, today issued dire warnings of imminent crop damage expected to produce food and ethanol shortages for the US, Canada and Europe – and not through ‘global warming’.
Taking the past winter months of 2009-2010 as a bench mark for the coming two to three years, global temperatures are expected to make another dramatic nose dive even greater than those seen over the Northern Hemisphere’s last Christmas holiday period.
As the Earth’s current El Nino effect dissipates, the planet will return to the long term temperature decline brought on by the Sun’s historic reduction in output, the dormant period or “solar hibernation.”
The US government’s leading science organizations, NASA and the NOAA have completely missed – or purposely ignored – these blatant sore thumb facts - as of course have United Nations climate change experts.
While this long term drop in the Earth’s temperatures - and more importantly as the cause - the advent of a historic drop in the Sun’s output - the solar hibernation – has been a known and established fact, the Global Warming scam artists headed by those profit-at-any-price Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Exchange shysters, banksters and kikesters have bribed, blackmailed and coerced the ranks of meteorological bureaus and scientific bodies and associated alumni to not only ignore such but to doctor their data and records to show the absolute opposite.
First and foremost on this criminal shit list is the Neanderthal impersonator Rajendra Kumar Pachauri, a living and breathing Casey Jones railroad railroad engineer working for India’s Rattle Track train service – and the current chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change – and – believe it or not - the chief disseminator of propaganda and bullshit for the Global Warming lobby.
This is why the SSRC is not fully accepted for its leadership role in climate change forecasting – simply due the fact they go around publishing that most annoying and inconvenient thing – the TRUTH – which of course is at direct odds with the aims of the Mammon-worshipping Global Warming alarmists who now control the O’Barmy administration’s climate change policies – and too those of the Brussels-based EUSSR.
The present solar hibernation is proceeding in almost lock step as the last one which occurred from 1793 to 1830 – and previously during the period of 1645 to 1715, in the middle of what was recognised as a Little Ice Age caused by a period of low solar activity known as the Maunder Minimum.
If this continues on present course the forecast cold weather impacts on food and ethanol fuel recently announced will not compare with what is to follow a decade from now.
At the bottom of the cold cycle of this hibernation in the late 2020’s and 2030’s there will be years of devastating to total crop losses in the Canadian, Northern US, European and Ukraine and Russian grain regions.
Hence instead of the Antarctic’s penguins sweating their bollocks off, and the Arctic polar bears drowning, it looks like they might all need woolly socks and a big hug to stay warm.
So, if the Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Exchange scam has gone tits up in a bucket with it getting noticeably colder instead of hotter, then why don’t the Global Warming shysters simply reverse-switch their strategy for the need to produce more CO2 to keep the planet warm.
Ah well, whatever label, slogan, jingle or brand name they stick on it, the only thing we have to fear are the fear-mongers themselves – the Global Warming alarmists.
Well, there’s a job for Chris Hune – a former cormorant strangler now charged with the post of Coalition Minister for Global Warming. He can now swap his title to Minister for Global Cooling and start a frantic mobilisation of getting the nation’s Granny-types knitting up a storm of woolly gloves, scarves, bobble hats, socks, balaclava helmets and cardigans in readiness for the Big Freeze.
Poor Al Gore – who’s gonna give him a big hug? No shit Al’ – can the Nobel Prize Board in Oslo have their medal back – oh and maybe Hollywood will want the “A Convenient Pile of Bullshit” Oscar award returning too.
Do you think it’s getting warmer or colder? Do you wake up at night suffering from frostbite? Do you have any spare hot water bottles you can donate to the ‘Warm-a-Penguin’ world wildlife hugging charity?
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were chilled or frozen in posting this message. However, a large number of Global Warming alarmists were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Thought for the day: Do you believe the announcements being spouted by Global Warming scaremonger and Chicken Little look-alike Lord Poxburgh - and the Climategate gang at East Anglia University - that the current falls of ‘unseasonable’ snow on England’s Pennines and Scotland’s Mount Sassenach this week (mid-May) are actually a thick coating of ‘frozen’ white ash from Iceland’s Mount Whatafuckup volcanic eruption.
No doubt everyone has, at some time or the other, come across the expression “If it wasn’t for bad luck they wouldn’t have any.” Well, for Al Bore and his Climategate gang at East Anglia University, at the UN’s IPCC - and the Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Exchange banksters all ready and set to rake in zillions of $$$ bucks buying, selling and bartering CO2 offsets – bad luck is the name of the game.
So, for these global warming scaremongers whose criminal doctored data and black propaganda bullshit converted CO2 from an inert and harmless gas - exhaled by mammals and converted into oxygen by the planet’s flora - into a devastating political Weapon of Mass Distraction charged with mega-bucks profiteering capabilities – they’re all shit outa luck.
The Space and Science Research Centre (SSRC), the leading independent research organization in the United States on the subject of our planet’s historic and continuing trend of climate change, which has been going on since the Dawn of Time, today issued dire warnings of imminent crop damage expected to produce food and ethanol shortages for the US, Canada and Europe – and not through ‘global warming’.
Taking the past winter months of 2009-2010 as a bench mark for the coming two to three years, global temperatures are expected to make another dramatic nose dive even greater than those seen over the Northern Hemisphere’s last Christmas holiday period.
As the Earth’s current El Nino effect dissipates, the planet will return to the long term temperature decline brought on by the Sun’s historic reduction in output, the dormant period or “solar hibernation.”
The US government’s leading science organizations, NASA and the NOAA have completely missed – or purposely ignored – these blatant sore thumb facts - as of course have United Nations climate change experts.
While this long term drop in the Earth’s temperatures - and more importantly as the cause - the advent of a historic drop in the Sun’s output - the solar hibernation – has been a known and established fact, the Global Warming scam artists headed by those profit-at-any-price Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Exchange shysters, banksters and kikesters have bribed, blackmailed and coerced the ranks of meteorological bureaus and scientific bodies and associated alumni to not only ignore such but to doctor their data and records to show the absolute opposite.
First and foremost on this criminal shit list is the Neanderthal impersonator Rajendra Kumar Pachauri, a living and breathing Casey Jones railroad railroad engineer working for India’s Rattle Track train service – and the current chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change – and – believe it or not - the chief disseminator of propaganda and bullshit for the Global Warming lobby.
This is why the SSRC is not fully accepted for its leadership role in climate change forecasting – simply due the fact they go around publishing that most annoying and inconvenient thing – the TRUTH – which of course is at direct odds with the aims of the Mammon-worshipping Global Warming alarmists who now control the O’Barmy administration’s climate change policies – and too those of the Brussels-based EUSSR.
The present solar hibernation is proceeding in almost lock step as the last one which occurred from 1793 to 1830 – and previously during the period of 1645 to 1715, in the middle of what was recognised as a Little Ice Age caused by a period of low solar activity known as the Maunder Minimum.
If this continues on present course the forecast cold weather impacts on food and ethanol fuel recently announced will not compare with what is to follow a decade from now.
At the bottom of the cold cycle of this hibernation in the late 2020’s and 2030’s there will be years of devastating to total crop losses in the Canadian, Northern US, European and Ukraine and Russian grain regions.
Hence instead of the Antarctic’s penguins sweating their bollocks off, and the Arctic polar bears drowning, it looks like they might all need woolly socks and a big hug to stay warm.
So, if the Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Exchange scam has gone tits up in a bucket with it getting noticeably colder instead of hotter, then why don’t the Global Warming shysters simply reverse-switch their strategy for the need to produce more CO2 to keep the planet warm.
Ah well, whatever label, slogan, jingle or brand name they stick on it, the only thing we have to fear are the fear-mongers themselves – the Global Warming alarmists.
Well, there’s a job for Chris Hune – a former cormorant strangler now charged with the post of Coalition Minister for Global Warming. He can now swap his title to Minister for Global Cooling and start a frantic mobilisation of getting the nation’s Granny-types knitting up a storm of woolly gloves, scarves, bobble hats, socks, balaclava helmets and cardigans in readiness for the Big Freeze.
Poor Al Gore – who’s gonna give him a big hug? No shit Al’ – can the Nobel Prize Board in Oslo have their medal back – oh and maybe Hollywood will want the “A Convenient Pile of Bullshit” Oscar award returning too.
Do you think it’s getting warmer or colder? Do you wake up at night suffering from frostbite? Do you have any spare hot water bottles you can donate to the ‘Warm-a-Penguin’ world wildlife hugging charity?
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were chilled or frozen in posting this message. However, a large number of Global Warming alarmists were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Thought for the day: Do you believe the announcements being spouted by Global Warming scaremonger and Chicken Little look-alike Lord Poxburgh - and the Climategate gang at East Anglia University - that the current falls of ‘unseasonable’ snow on England’s Pennines and Scotland’s Mount Sassenach this week (mid-May) are actually a thick coating of ‘frozen’ white ash from Iceland’s Mount Whatafuckup volcanic eruption.
Friday, 21 May 2010
The Never-Ending Palestinian Nakba
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
May 15th, the Yawm in-Nakba – or ‘Day of Catastrophe’ to the Palestinian people – a date they commemorate annually – and with good reason.
Sixty-two years ago, more than 726,000 Palestinians were forcibly displaced from their homes and lands to make way for the illegal and rogue State of Israel and have been prevented from returning ever since.
Thousands of Palestinian villages and neighbourhoods were destroyed - with seven million Palestinian refugees now living in exile - and 1.3 million Palestinians suffering perennial privations in 58 UN-administered refugee camps around the Mid-East and denied their own country by the kikester usurpers.
In previous historical conflicts refugee rights have been honoured and respected, including the right of return, restitution and compensation. Not surprisingly, in typical Khazar kikester fashion born out of unqualified arrogance of their superiority to the goyim Gentiles, the outlaw State of Israel refuses to even recognize the Palestinian right of return, thus continuing to deny the refugees’ basic human rights.
Further, the Palestinians occupying the besieged Gaza Strip and the West Bank suffer 24/7/365 privations, the likes of which are purported to have occurred in the charnel houses of Auschwitz and Belsen – and were recorded for posterity in the annals of the Nazi Nuremberg Trials.
Hence the Palestinian Nakba continues to this day without relent, for Israeli continues with its fascist policies of evictions, home demolitions, deportations, settlement activities and the construction of their Great Apartheid Wall across the occupied West Bank and encircling the hapless and devastated Gaza Strip.
Yet will the international community draw any lessons from the Nakba to force the United Nations to uphold international law and declare unilateral sanctions against Israel, and force a cease and desist policy onto AIPAC / US support for the rogue state? Alas no. Yet what nation should be allowed to place itself above the law as Israel has – thus moral conscience alone must compel the international community to force an end to Israeli belligerence and disregard for international law. Much as they did against Saddam Hussein.
The Shylock kikesters have been deceiving the world with blatant lies, incessant propaganda, and biblical mythology for Millennia but now their Rothshite-backed state is up shitcreek without a paddle and the entire Protocols of Zion / New World Order agenda is coming undone like a ball of twine the cat’s just mauled.
Their plans for a Greater Israel stretching from Nile to Euphrates (Oil) – and beyond (Afghanistan / Pakistan = opium control) – is coming off the tracks big time.
To highlight the duplicitous and hypocritical stance that Zionist running dog Western politicians have viz the Nakba and the continuing Palestinian Holocaust, the British Embassy in Seoul, responding to this morning’s concocted news that one of mad Kim’s Nor-Kor submarines deliberately, and with malice aforethought, torpedoed and sank the South Korean warship ‘Cheonan’ - quoted the UK’s Foreign Secretary William Hague as stating: “North Korea's actions will deepen the international community's mistrust. The attack demonstrates a total indifference to human life and a blatant disregard of international obligations."
Hmmm, pity the life-long 'Friends of Israel' club member Hague doesn’t direct the same condemnations against the illegal rogue state of kikesters for their insidious treatment of the Palestinian people and attacks on Gaza.
US Pres’ Barky O’Barmy described the sinking of the ship as an "act of aggression" by North Korea that challenged world peace and personally threatened sanctions against Nor-Kor.
The pathetic UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Twat went so far as to state the torpedo incident report was "deeply troubling" – regardless of it being a pack of concocted lies – or bearing a single iota of verisimilitude.
Japan's Prime Minister Yakuza Fuckayama issued a statement that North Korea's action was "unforgivable".
But any word of condemnation – or even a spot of mild reproach – from these career kikester political apologists of Israel’s dirty deeds against the Palestinians? Nary a one. Any mention of these same Freemason Zionist types embracing the content of the Goldstone Report of Israel’s Operation Cast Lead genocidal attacks against Gaza’s civilian population? Not an effing word.
Hellfire, Israel can torpedo who the fuck they like and still get congratulated – much the same as they did with the USS Liberty in 1967 off the Sinai Peninsula, killing 34 crew members and wounding a further 171. Yep, an attack wholly funded by the US taxpayer - how’s that for irony.
Alas, we corrupt our souls when we blind our eyes and conscience to the acts of the Israeli terrorists.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel shit.
Thought for the day: Fuck the Zionist Freemasons and the Temple of Solomon and their New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
May 15th, the Yawm in-Nakba – or ‘Day of Catastrophe’ to the Palestinian people – a date they commemorate annually – and with good reason.
Sixty-two years ago, more than 726,000 Palestinians were forcibly displaced from their homes and lands to make way for the illegal and rogue State of Israel and have been prevented from returning ever since.
Thousands of Palestinian villages and neighbourhoods were destroyed - with seven million Palestinian refugees now living in exile - and 1.3 million Palestinians suffering perennial privations in 58 UN-administered refugee camps around the Mid-East and denied their own country by the kikester usurpers.
In previous historical conflicts refugee rights have been honoured and respected, including the right of return, restitution and compensation. Not surprisingly, in typical Khazar kikester fashion born out of unqualified arrogance of their superiority to the goyim Gentiles, the outlaw State of Israel refuses to even recognize the Palestinian right of return, thus continuing to deny the refugees’ basic human rights.
Further, the Palestinians occupying the besieged Gaza Strip and the West Bank suffer 24/7/365 privations, the likes of which are purported to have occurred in the charnel houses of Auschwitz and Belsen – and were recorded for posterity in the annals of the Nazi Nuremberg Trials.
Hence the Palestinian Nakba continues to this day without relent, for Israeli continues with its fascist policies of evictions, home demolitions, deportations, settlement activities and the construction of their Great Apartheid Wall across the occupied West Bank and encircling the hapless and devastated Gaza Strip.
Yet will the international community draw any lessons from the Nakba to force the United Nations to uphold international law and declare unilateral sanctions against Israel, and force a cease and desist policy onto AIPAC / US support for the rogue state? Alas no. Yet what nation should be allowed to place itself above the law as Israel has – thus moral conscience alone must compel the international community to force an end to Israeli belligerence and disregard for international law. Much as they did against Saddam Hussein.
The Shylock kikesters have been deceiving the world with blatant lies, incessant propaganda, and biblical mythology for Millennia but now their Rothshite-backed state is up shitcreek without a paddle and the entire Protocols of Zion / New World Order agenda is coming undone like a ball of twine the cat’s just mauled.
Their plans for a Greater Israel stretching from Nile to Euphrates (Oil) – and beyond (Afghanistan / Pakistan = opium control) – is coming off the tracks big time.
To highlight the duplicitous and hypocritical stance that Zionist running dog Western politicians have viz the Nakba and the continuing Palestinian Holocaust, the British Embassy in Seoul, responding to this morning’s concocted news that one of mad Kim’s Nor-Kor submarines deliberately, and with malice aforethought, torpedoed and sank the South Korean warship ‘Cheonan’ - quoted the UK’s Foreign Secretary William Hague as stating: “North Korea's actions will deepen the international community's mistrust. The attack demonstrates a total indifference to human life and a blatant disregard of international obligations."
Hmmm, pity the life-long 'Friends of Israel' club member Hague doesn’t direct the same condemnations against the illegal rogue state of kikesters for their insidious treatment of the Palestinian people and attacks on Gaza.
US Pres’ Barky O’Barmy described the sinking of the ship as an "act of aggression" by North Korea that challenged world peace and personally threatened sanctions against Nor-Kor.
The pathetic UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Twat went so far as to state the torpedo incident report was "deeply troubling" – regardless of it being a pack of concocted lies – or bearing a single iota of verisimilitude.
Japan's Prime Minister Yakuza Fuckayama issued a statement that North Korea's action was "unforgivable".
But any word of condemnation – or even a spot of mild reproach – from these career kikester political apologists of Israel’s dirty deeds against the Palestinians? Nary a one. Any mention of these same Freemason Zionist types embracing the content of the Goldstone Report of Israel’s Operation Cast Lead genocidal attacks against Gaza’s civilian population? Not an effing word.
Hellfire, Israel can torpedo who the fuck they like and still get congratulated – much the same as they did with the USS Liberty in 1967 off the Sinai Peninsula, killing 34 crew members and wounding a further 171. Yep, an attack wholly funded by the US taxpayer - how’s that for irony.
Alas, we corrupt our souls when we blind our eyes and conscience to the acts of the Israeli terrorists.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel shit.
Thought for the day: Fuck the Zionist Freemasons and the Temple of Solomon and their New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
US Demand Additional Iran Sanctions
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Rather naively, the Iranian Foreign Minister Mangrove Mockturtle yesterday spouted off to one journalist from the Jolly Jihad Gazette that Tehran's recent nuclear declaration with Turkey has left no opportunity for fresh or additional sanctions to be imposed on Iran due the whingeing of the paranoid Khazar Jews occupying Palestine or their running dog agents controlling AIPAC who fear a nuclear Iran would see an end to the rogue state of Israel’s military hegemony in the Middle East.
Mockturtle related that his Turkish and Brazilian counterparts had briefed him on their negotiations about the declaration, which the three foreign ministers signed in Tehran on Monday following a few beers and a bonding session in the group cluster fuck hydro-spa pool at the exclusive Three Hole Massage Club, adding that their ground-breaking agreement had served to counter all previous Zionist-instigated opposition to the domestic nuclear development programme, so hence negating reasons for a new UN Security Council resolution against Iran.
Conversely, and just to piss all over Minister Mockturtle’s celebratory bonfire, US President Barky O’Barmy, reading aloud from the safety of his all-new White House bulletproof teleprompter, informed the known Universe via Fux News that following a meeting with 37 American Jewish Congressmen he was planning on demonstrating his commitment to the Israeli regime by insisting on new sanctions against Iran – regardless of the Tehran heirarchy now complying to earlier US / UN / IAEA demands of having their low grade uranium stockpiles reprocessed into fuel rods by a third party Western nation.
The US, in compliance with Tel Aviv’s bidding and supported by the EUSSR’s Zionist puppets, has prepared a draft resolution in the UN Security Council that calls on Iran to suspend 'all' nuclear research and development activities or face a fourth round of sanctions.
The draft resolution was a desperate rush job counter measure after Iran issued a joint statement with Turkey and Brazil that declared its readiness to engage in a nuclear fuel swap with the West under which Tehran would send some 1,200 kilos of its low-grade uranium to Turkey for a timely exchange with 120 kilos of 20% enriched uranium that would serve as the fuel required by the Tehran Nuclear Reactor to produce medical isotopes for cancer treatment (and bump the enrichment up to 90% for the odd covert nuclear fission bomb).
However, Iran's agreeing to the swap of the enriched uranium has caught the US and Israeli kikesters with their proverbial pants down as they were pushing for further sanctions at the UN.
Now that the swap agreement the US stooges were demanding has been reached the kikesters are up and whingeing and changing the rules of the game claiming that the swap deal is no longer enough.
Really, aren’t the Iranians a pain in the proverbial arse. You just get set up with military hardware staged throughout the Mid-East and attack plans coordinated with Tel Aviv – and Diego Garcia loaded down with nigh on 400 bunker buster bombs – knowing full well that the mule-stubborn President Ahmadashell and his Tehran government would never agree to the swap deal – then they turn round and do precisely that.
Obviously UN Security Council members (and prime Iranian trading partners) Russia and China will now veto any further sanctions with a stern reproach of “WTF? – you kikester blokes have got precisely what you were asking for – a swap deal - done and dusted.”
No shit Baron Rothshite – even Sun Tzu and Clausewitz would be proud of that master stroke chess move.
Where do you get your uranium stockpiles enriched? Do you buy direct from Argos or order online from eBay’s ‘Naughty Nukes’ suppliers? Would you consider donating any old and worn-out high-speed centrifuges to a struggling Third World Islamic nation near you?
Fill in the online comments form below and you could win a copy of “Radioactive Hazards for Dummies”.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of kikesters were permanently piss off.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rather naively, the Iranian Foreign Minister Mangrove Mockturtle yesterday spouted off to one journalist from the Jolly Jihad Gazette that Tehran's recent nuclear declaration with Turkey has left no opportunity for fresh or additional sanctions to be imposed on Iran due the whingeing of the paranoid Khazar Jews occupying Palestine or their running dog agents controlling AIPAC who fear a nuclear Iran would see an end to the rogue state of Israel’s military hegemony in the Middle East.
Mockturtle related that his Turkish and Brazilian counterparts had briefed him on their negotiations about the declaration, which the three foreign ministers signed in Tehran on Monday following a few beers and a bonding session in the group cluster fuck hydro-spa pool at the exclusive Three Hole Massage Club, adding that their ground-breaking agreement had served to counter all previous Zionist-instigated opposition to the domestic nuclear development programme, so hence negating reasons for a new UN Security Council resolution against Iran.
Conversely, and just to piss all over Minister Mockturtle’s celebratory bonfire, US President Barky O’Barmy, reading aloud from the safety of his all-new White House bulletproof teleprompter, informed the known Universe via Fux News that following a meeting with 37 American Jewish Congressmen he was planning on demonstrating his commitment to the Israeli regime by insisting on new sanctions against Iran – regardless of the Tehran heirarchy now complying to earlier US / UN / IAEA demands of having their low grade uranium stockpiles reprocessed into fuel rods by a third party Western nation.
The US, in compliance with Tel Aviv’s bidding and supported by the EUSSR’s Zionist puppets, has prepared a draft resolution in the UN Security Council that calls on Iran to suspend 'all' nuclear research and development activities or face a fourth round of sanctions.
The draft resolution was a desperate rush job counter measure after Iran issued a joint statement with Turkey and Brazil that declared its readiness to engage in a nuclear fuel swap with the West under which Tehran would send some 1,200 kilos of its low-grade uranium to Turkey for a timely exchange with 120 kilos of 20% enriched uranium that would serve as the fuel required by the Tehran Nuclear Reactor to produce medical isotopes for cancer treatment (and bump the enrichment up to 90% for the odd covert nuclear fission bomb).
However, Iran's agreeing to the swap of the enriched uranium has caught the US and Israeli kikesters with their proverbial pants down as they were pushing for further sanctions at the UN.
Now that the swap agreement the US stooges were demanding has been reached the kikesters are up and whingeing and changing the rules of the game claiming that the swap deal is no longer enough.
Really, aren’t the Iranians a pain in the proverbial arse. You just get set up with military hardware staged throughout the Mid-East and attack plans coordinated with Tel Aviv – and Diego Garcia loaded down with nigh on 400 bunker buster bombs – knowing full well that the mule-stubborn President Ahmadashell and his Tehran government would never agree to the swap deal – then they turn round and do precisely that.
Obviously UN Security Council members (and prime Iranian trading partners) Russia and China will now veto any further sanctions with a stern reproach of “WTF? – you kikester blokes have got precisely what you were asking for – a swap deal - done and dusted.”
No shit Baron Rothshite – even Sun Tzu and Clausewitz would be proud of that master stroke chess move.
Where do you get your uranium stockpiles enriched? Do you buy direct from Argos or order online from eBay’s ‘Naughty Nukes’ suppliers? Would you consider donating any old and worn-out high-speed centrifuges to a struggling Third World Islamic nation near you?
Fill in the online comments form below and you could win a copy of “Radioactive Hazards for Dummies”.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of kikesters were permanently piss off.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Political Correctness Idiocy Hits Courts
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A senior magistrate who described two teenage boys as "absolute scum" for vandalising Smegmadale Cathedral and buggering the verger has been warned he could face disciplinary action for his imprudent remarks.
Sir Ghengis McTwatt, a retired Royal Tomcat Strangler and magistrate of 30 years standing (plus 5 sitting down) has been removed from his post as Chairman of the Bench while the Judicial Office of Communications ‘Political Correctness Compliance’ department conduct an investigation into the incident.
The magistrate severely castigated the two 16-year-olds when they appeared before his bench at the Smegmadale youth court following their arrest for causing £18,000 quid’s worth of damage.
Police charges maintain that the teenagers, who cannot be named because of their ages (Jacko Scrunt and Wilf Fuctifino – both of Scally Hamlets Housing Estate) gutted the cathedral’s roof of its lead flashings, ripped out the copper lightning conductor cables, wrote sexual and racist graffiti on prayer books, crapped all over the altar then wiped their arses on the vestments, pissed in the font then buggered the gay verger – reportedly against his will – although he now refuses to press charges and in the true spirit of Christian charity, has forgiven both the junior sodomites for their transgressions.
On sentencing them during Thursday's hearing Sir Ghengis reportedly stated for the record "This court is disgusted by the wanton destruction and actions of gross defilement you have jointly caused with these unprovoked, mindless acts. It is little wonder the public at large consider you absolute scum."
While Sir Ghengis claims his fellow magistrates totally agreed with his comments and imposition of sentences of fifty lashes and ten years hard labour apiece, Ms Fellattia Titwank, the Clerk of the Court interceded at this point and not only objected to the harshness of the sentences but also to McTwatt’s critical description of them being ‘absolute scum’.
Apparently a war of words then erupted with Sir Ghengis emphasising that “A couple of hundred years previously the crime of sacrilege would have been punished by flaying, then being burned at the stake - now, according to your misguided philanthropic concepts and notions all we can say is you’ve been very naughty and slap them with an Asbo.”
Undeterred, Ms Titwank then referred the matter to the Judicial Office of Communications who ordered an investigation into McTwatt’s courtroom manner and martinet conduct. Their review of the offender’s sentences resulted in them being reduced to an unpaid 25 hour Community Service work apiece and a restraining order imposed that prevents them from going within 50 meters of a church – or a verger.
Meanwhile, across in the High Courts of Justice, a judge who described UK immigration policy as "a complete balls up" has been disciplined for making inappropriate remarks during a court sentencing.
Judge Hector McTwatt’s (no relation) comments at the trial of a Jamaican man at Scumborough Crown Court last month were investigated by the Office for Judicial Complaints, whom concluded that his comments "represented an inappropriate judicial intervention in the political process".
In their report the OCJ ruled the judge had displayed a most racist attitude in his comments to the accused by referring to him as a ‘dreadlocked golly’.
Rastus O’Dinga Chuckabutty, a Jamaican illegal immigrant, was jailed for life after pleading guilty to charges of possessing cannabis, heroin, and cocaine, kidnapping, arson (three counts), rape (two counts – male and female), carrying a machete and an unlicenced firearm, possession of a cloned Israeli passport and driving away a vehicle (police patrol car) without the owner’s consent.
While summing up the charges and passing sentence the local red top Daily Shitraker reported that Judge McTwat told the court: "Your case illustrates all too clearly the completely lax Borders Control and immigration policy that exists in this country when Rastafarian fuzzy wuzzy scallies like you can sneak into Britain playing your tribal Reggae music to avail themselves of the generous welfare benefits that exist here – and take advantage of our poor drug addicts."
The Office for Judicial Complaints has now reviewed Mr Chuckabutty’s case and due Judge McTwatt’s politically incorrect statements causing gross offence to the prisoner to the extent he was unable to sleep following the public admonishment and sought psychiatric counselling after developing self-harm and suicidal tendencies, his sentence was rescinded and a Community Service order of 50 hours imposed in its place.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
A senior magistrate who described two teenage boys as "absolute scum" for vandalising Smegmadale Cathedral and buggering the verger has been warned he could face disciplinary action for his imprudent remarks.
Sir Ghengis McTwatt, a retired Royal Tomcat Strangler and magistrate of 30 years standing (plus 5 sitting down) has been removed from his post as Chairman of the Bench while the Judicial Office of Communications ‘Political Correctness Compliance’ department conduct an investigation into the incident.
The magistrate severely castigated the two 16-year-olds when they appeared before his bench at the Smegmadale youth court following their arrest for causing £18,000 quid’s worth of damage.
Police charges maintain that the teenagers, who cannot be named because of their ages (Jacko Scrunt and Wilf Fuctifino – both of Scally Hamlets Housing Estate) gutted the cathedral’s roof of its lead flashings, ripped out the copper lightning conductor cables, wrote sexual and racist graffiti on prayer books, crapped all over the altar then wiped their arses on the vestments, pissed in the font then buggered the gay verger – reportedly against his will – although he now refuses to press charges and in the true spirit of Christian charity, has forgiven both the junior sodomites for their transgressions.
On sentencing them during Thursday's hearing Sir Ghengis reportedly stated for the record "This court is disgusted by the wanton destruction and actions of gross defilement you have jointly caused with these unprovoked, mindless acts. It is little wonder the public at large consider you absolute scum."
While Sir Ghengis claims his fellow magistrates totally agreed with his comments and imposition of sentences of fifty lashes and ten years hard labour apiece, Ms Fellattia Titwank, the Clerk of the Court interceded at this point and not only objected to the harshness of the sentences but also to McTwatt’s critical description of them being ‘absolute scum’.
Apparently a war of words then erupted with Sir Ghengis emphasising that “A couple of hundred years previously the crime of sacrilege would have been punished by flaying, then being burned at the stake - now, according to your misguided philanthropic concepts and notions all we can say is you’ve been very naughty and slap them with an Asbo.”
Undeterred, Ms Titwank then referred the matter to the Judicial Office of Communications who ordered an investigation into McTwatt’s courtroom manner and martinet conduct. Their review of the offender’s sentences resulted in them being reduced to an unpaid 25 hour Community Service work apiece and a restraining order imposed that prevents them from going within 50 meters of a church – or a verger.
Meanwhile, across in the High Courts of Justice, a judge who described UK immigration policy as "a complete balls up" has been disciplined for making inappropriate remarks during a court sentencing.
Judge Hector McTwatt’s (no relation) comments at the trial of a Jamaican man at Scumborough Crown Court last month were investigated by the Office for Judicial Complaints, whom concluded that his comments "represented an inappropriate judicial intervention in the political process".
In their report the OCJ ruled the judge had displayed a most racist attitude in his comments to the accused by referring to him as a ‘dreadlocked golly’.
Rastus O’Dinga Chuckabutty, a Jamaican illegal immigrant, was jailed for life after pleading guilty to charges of possessing cannabis, heroin, and cocaine, kidnapping, arson (three counts), rape (two counts – male and female), carrying a machete and an unlicenced firearm, possession of a cloned Israeli passport and driving away a vehicle (police patrol car) without the owner’s consent.
While summing up the charges and passing sentence the local red top Daily Shitraker reported that Judge McTwat told the court: "Your case illustrates all too clearly the completely lax Borders Control and immigration policy that exists in this country when Rastafarian fuzzy wuzzy scallies like you can sneak into Britain playing your tribal Reggae music to avail themselves of the generous welfare benefits that exist here – and take advantage of our poor drug addicts."
The Office for Judicial Complaints has now reviewed Mr Chuckabutty’s case and due Judge McTwatt’s politically incorrect statements causing gross offence to the prisoner to the extent he was unable to sleep following the public admonishment and sought psychiatric counselling after developing self-harm and suicidal tendencies, his sentence was rescinded and a Community Service order of 50 hours imposed in its place.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)