In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The rug-munching US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, went into venom-spitting mode on Friday as Russia and China refused to kowtow to pro-Zionist warmongering pressures and give their Security Council nod for a UN-sanctioned invasion of Syria by NATO forces on ‘humanitarian intervention’ grounds – to oust President Basher Assad’s Bathtime Party regime and install a Western ‘proxy Democracy’ pro-globalist, compliant stooge government – as per Afghanistan and Iraq.
During a so-called "Friends of the Syrian Rebel Army" meeting in Paris on Friday - which both Russia and China boycotted as one-sided - the haggard Clinton, looking to be in dire need of a Botox top-up and infuriated by the fact she was not getting her own way - launched one of her customary scathing attacks against Moscow and Beijing’s intransigence to do what her kikester masters are demanding and warned they “will pay a price” for their support of a truly Democratic Syrian self-determination policy – (civil war) – where the last man standing is the winner.
However, the Mena Mafia’s Matriarch is conveniently forgetting – or in total denial mode over – the fact that both President Vlad Putrid and Premier Wen Jailbird are sick to the back teeth with the Great Satan’s ZioNazi neo-colonial belligerent acts of aggression and destabilisation against resource-rich / strategically placed Third World dumps to enforce regime change, install Western-complaint puppet governments and open up their bourses and markets for the Rothshite crime syndicate’s central banksters and twenty types of commercial trash and tat.
Russia and China, two military powers the Great Satan and their Zionist controllers in London and Tel Aviv do not want to mess with – unless bent on a self-harm suicide mission – are of one mind concerning the Project for a New American Century / Foreign Policy Initiative (read ‘Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion’) agenda of aggression towards achieving global domination.
Obviously asking themselves “Who’s next on the Great Satan’s ZioNazi conquest list?” they are politically and militarily aligned via their ‘Shanghai Surprise’ anti-Western expansionism cooperation pact – along with co-signees Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan and President Borat’s Kazakhstan (plus the soon-to-join Islamic Republic of Iran) and ready – and able – to counter any encroachment on their own sovereign territory natural resources and areas of strategic border consequence.
Typically, and while struggling to overcome her Cro-Magnon IQ limitations and the stark fact her ambitions far surpass her mental abilities, Clinton and the White House Kenyan cuckoo Barky O’Barmy are still adhering to the shelf life expired doctrine of carrot and stick / friend or foe that has driven the good ole US of A’s colonial meddling since the invasion of the Philippines in 1898 – and promoting only one side of the political argument.
Specifically that the Washington-aligned (and funded) rag-arsed Syrian rebels are to be the next Damascus government – with Assad & Co arrested on war crimes charges (or preferably dead) – so the Israelis can with impunity then expedite a full-scale saturation bombing / ground invasion of Lebanon and oust Hezbollah, prior to annexing both blighted countries and inflicting a programme of political cleansing – plus complete their stalled ethnic cleansing genocide agenda against the hapless Palestinians to clear the West Bank and Gaza Strip coastal enclave for illegal Israeli settlers.
Thought for the day: Fuck the Great Satan and the Rothshite crime syndicate and their New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Monday, 9 July 2012
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Borders Agency Not Fit for Purpose
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
In what might prove to be the biggest fuck up since their last big fuck up, the UK Border Agency (UKBA) have lost track of more than 160,000 illegal immigrants and refugees who were refused permission to stay in Britain, then Whoof! – like a rat out of an aqueduct – were Gone! – and simply disappeared off our grossly incompetent government’s radar.
This highly embarrassing backlog of cases, uncovered by the Chief Inspector of the Border Agency, Lady Chlamydia Ffitch-Gargoyle, comes as officials admitted they’ve no idea whether the immigrants are alive or dead, have left Britain or moved to the Moon – or even been employed by the hapless Borders Agency itself. More alarming still is the fact the UKBA have no strategy in place to find out how many are still around and surviving through the burgeoning recession-driven underground black economy in our ‘hard-to-spot’ ethnically-integrated – and culturally-devastated - Big Society.
Lady Ffitch-Gargoyle’s report is doubly-damning inasmuch the slack-arsed UKBA have failed to send 40 percent of the refused extension applicants any form of documented notice informing them to fold their proverbial tents and sod off back from whence they came.
The gospel according to the report, the agency’s Migration Refusal Pool listed a total of 159,313 illegals in mid-December 2011, which soared by 5,492 over the following two months – approximately one hundred cases per day.
This list is best described as a mess of pottage which included Polish carp poachers; Albanian swan roasters; shit-stirring one-eyed Muslim clerics with a bad attitude, chronic halitosis, and coathanger hooks for hands; a mix of African, Israeli and Balkan war criminals; Somali pirates; Mexican beaners; Columbian drug runners; Chechnyan arms dealers - and thousands of Eastern European Gyppo and Pikey teenage whores in Britain for the Diamond Jubilee / Wimbledon / Olympics triple event fuckfest scheduled to run from May to August - all of whom entered our once-sceptred isle on temporary visas and were refused an extended stay – hence should have been instructed to leave immediately – if not sooner.
Ms Constance N’dinga Chuckabutty, the regional director for the Borders Agency’s Midlands and West African Division, yesterday went on the public record, informing one press hack from the Xenophobes Gazette that “Dis am all a load of bullshit, accusin’ us of sloth an’ apathy an’ dat bein’ de the cause of dis lack of pro-active deportations. Wot dey should be blaming instead is de flawed mechanics of de ‘absconder tracing process’ as all de sniffer dogs wot we use ter track down de overstaying migrants has bin sufferin’ from summer colds due Britain’s monsoon season rains an’ de kennels getting’ flooded out.”
“If it woz a bunch of whitey Anglo-Saxon types runnin’ dis agency den we wouldn’t be hearin’ any bullshit criticisms at all, but jest cos we have a gang of de brothers an’ de sistas wiv perma sun tans den we cop for heaps of crap.”
“An’ wot’s more we do not appreciate certain sections of the House of Conmans opposition and media makin’ racist remarks an’ referring ter us as de ‘Little Bo Peep Agency’ wot lost all de sheep – nor tellin’ us ter send out a Pikey Patrol ter catch de delinquent over-stayers.”
However shadow home secretary Yvette Scooper dismissed Ms Chuckabutty’s excuses as being more at scent than substance and that the Libservative Coalition was letting the side down where illegal immigrants were concerned.
“Personally, I’ve seen better organised riots. Following the fiasco of the border scandal, where the Home Secretary admitted she doesn't know how many people came in without checks, we now have arriving tourists spending the first couple of days of their holiday waiting in immigration clearance queues at our airports because of incompetent management and the cuts to nearly 900 UK Border Force staff."
The scandals mentioned by Ms Scooper, which have brought successive hails of criticism onto the UKBA, were seconded as ‘disgraceful’ by Sir Dinsdale Spatchcock, chairman of the think-tank Kaffir Watch, who informed the media that the credibility of Broken Britain’s entire immigration system was now under question and needed mending with a new one.
“Really, I’m totally gobsmacked. What the fuck is going on when the Borders Agency is staffed with a bunch of tosspots and dog wankers that have no idea where 159,000 individuals - the size of the Palestinian population of Israeli prisons and internment camps - have gone since their applications were rejected.”
The Tory immigration minister Damian Greenfly, the MP for Gashford, typically and with malice aforethought, tried to pass the blame for the UKBA fubar onto the last government – but New Labour’s juvenile leader, Ed Millipede spit the dummy and retorted that the report was damning and Minister Greenfly a complete and utter waste of space and the entire agency needed a spot of ‘root canal’ work – confusing an earlier Home Affairs Select Committee statement which called for a thorough house cleaning - plus "root and branch" reforms.
Greenfly recently informed Andrew ‘Bat-Ears’ Marr on the BBC Radio 4's 'Refugee Roundup' programme that the Borders Agency had improved since May 2010 from a state of "utter chaos" when the government took office to one of ‘mere mayhem’.
Hmmm, ‘mere mayhem’ besides, the hapless Greenfly is due to answer questions on immigration policy from the Commons Home Affairs Select Committee next Tuesday – whose chairman, the supremely arrogant Keith ‘Mr Fix-It’ Vaz – he of Hinduja Sisters and Nadhmi Auchi scandalous visa-rigging notoriety - recently branded the UKBA as "not fit for purpose".
Thoughts for the day. The UK Border Agency – tasked with responsibility for securing the UK borders at air, rail and sea ports and migration controls - was set up in 2008, two years after then New Labour Home Secretary John ‘Gorbals’ Reid condemned the Home Office's immigration directorate as a “pile of shite”.
Parliament watchers might recall his predecessor, Charlie Clarke, was sacked after it emerged 1,013 foreign criminals (rapists, murderers, burglars, armed robbers, paedophiles and goat bonkers) had been released from prison, without being considered for deportation and allowed to freely mix with the general population.
Now for the sickener. Senior staff members of the scandal-ridden UK Border Agency were paid bonuses of up to £10,000 last year despite an asylum backlog of 450,000 cases – plus the 160,000 AWOL overstayers dilemma.
One in four UKBA staff received payouts of up to £7,000 quid apiece – with one in fifty receiving bonuses of between £20,000 and £22,000, one in ten (11%) pocketed bonuses of between £15,000 and £20,000 and more than one in eight (13%) received bonuses of between £10,000 and £15,000 nicker.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
In what might prove to be the biggest fuck up since their last big fuck up, the UK Border Agency (UKBA) have lost track of more than 160,000 illegal immigrants and refugees who were refused permission to stay in Britain, then Whoof! – like a rat out of an aqueduct – were Gone! – and simply disappeared off our grossly incompetent government’s radar.
This highly embarrassing backlog of cases, uncovered by the Chief Inspector of the Border Agency, Lady Chlamydia Ffitch-Gargoyle, comes as officials admitted they’ve no idea whether the immigrants are alive or dead, have left Britain or moved to the Moon – or even been employed by the hapless Borders Agency itself. More alarming still is the fact the UKBA have no strategy in place to find out how many are still around and surviving through the burgeoning recession-driven underground black economy in our ‘hard-to-spot’ ethnically-integrated – and culturally-devastated - Big Society.
Lady Ffitch-Gargoyle’s report is doubly-damning inasmuch the slack-arsed UKBA have failed to send 40 percent of the refused extension applicants any form of documented notice informing them to fold their proverbial tents and sod off back from whence they came.
The gospel according to the report, the agency’s Migration Refusal Pool listed a total of 159,313 illegals in mid-December 2011, which soared by 5,492 over the following two months – approximately one hundred cases per day.
This list is best described as a mess of pottage which included Polish carp poachers; Albanian swan roasters; shit-stirring one-eyed Muslim clerics with a bad attitude, chronic halitosis, and coathanger hooks for hands; a mix of African, Israeli and Balkan war criminals; Somali pirates; Mexican beaners; Columbian drug runners; Chechnyan arms dealers - and thousands of Eastern European Gyppo and Pikey teenage whores in Britain for the Diamond Jubilee / Wimbledon / Olympics triple event fuckfest scheduled to run from May to August - all of whom entered our once-sceptred isle on temporary visas and were refused an extended stay – hence should have been instructed to leave immediately – if not sooner.
Ms Constance N’dinga Chuckabutty, the regional director for the Borders Agency’s Midlands and West African Division, yesterday went on the public record, informing one press hack from the Xenophobes Gazette that “Dis am all a load of bullshit, accusin’ us of sloth an’ apathy an’ dat bein’ de the cause of dis lack of pro-active deportations. Wot dey should be blaming instead is de flawed mechanics of de ‘absconder tracing process’ as all de sniffer dogs wot we use ter track down de overstaying migrants has bin sufferin’ from summer colds due Britain’s monsoon season rains an’ de kennels getting’ flooded out.”
“If it woz a bunch of whitey Anglo-Saxon types runnin’ dis agency den we wouldn’t be hearin’ any bullshit criticisms at all, but jest cos we have a gang of de brothers an’ de sistas wiv perma sun tans den we cop for heaps of crap.”
“An’ wot’s more we do not appreciate certain sections of the House of Conmans opposition and media makin’ racist remarks an’ referring ter us as de ‘Little Bo Peep Agency’ wot lost all de sheep – nor tellin’ us ter send out a Pikey Patrol ter catch de delinquent over-stayers.”
However shadow home secretary Yvette Scooper dismissed Ms Chuckabutty’s excuses as being more at scent than substance and that the Libservative Coalition was letting the side down where illegal immigrants were concerned.
“Personally, I’ve seen better organised riots. Following the fiasco of the border scandal, where the Home Secretary admitted she doesn't know how many people came in without checks, we now have arriving tourists spending the first couple of days of their holiday waiting in immigration clearance queues at our airports because of incompetent management and the cuts to nearly 900 UK Border Force staff."
The scandals mentioned by Ms Scooper, which have brought successive hails of criticism onto the UKBA, were seconded as ‘disgraceful’ by Sir Dinsdale Spatchcock, chairman of the think-tank Kaffir Watch, who informed the media that the credibility of Broken Britain’s entire immigration system was now under question and needed mending with a new one.
“Really, I’m totally gobsmacked. What the fuck is going on when the Borders Agency is staffed with a bunch of tosspots and dog wankers that have no idea where 159,000 individuals - the size of the Palestinian population of Israeli prisons and internment camps - have gone since their applications were rejected.”
The Tory immigration minister Damian Greenfly, the MP for Gashford, typically and with malice aforethought, tried to pass the blame for the UKBA fubar onto the last government – but New Labour’s juvenile leader, Ed Millipede spit the dummy and retorted that the report was damning and Minister Greenfly a complete and utter waste of space and the entire agency needed a spot of ‘root canal’ work – confusing an earlier Home Affairs Select Committee statement which called for a thorough house cleaning - plus "root and branch" reforms.
Greenfly recently informed Andrew ‘Bat-Ears’ Marr on the BBC Radio 4's 'Refugee Roundup' programme that the Borders Agency had improved since May 2010 from a state of "utter chaos" when the government took office to one of ‘mere mayhem’.
Hmmm, ‘mere mayhem’ besides, the hapless Greenfly is due to answer questions on immigration policy from the Commons Home Affairs Select Committee next Tuesday – whose chairman, the supremely arrogant Keith ‘Mr Fix-It’ Vaz – he of Hinduja Sisters and Nadhmi Auchi scandalous visa-rigging notoriety - recently branded the UKBA as "not fit for purpose".
Thoughts for the day. The UK Border Agency – tasked with responsibility for securing the UK borders at air, rail and sea ports and migration controls - was set up in 2008, two years after then New Labour Home Secretary John ‘Gorbals’ Reid condemned the Home Office's immigration directorate as a “pile of shite”.
Parliament watchers might recall his predecessor, Charlie Clarke, was sacked after it emerged 1,013 foreign criminals (rapists, murderers, burglars, armed robbers, paedophiles and goat bonkers) had been released from prison, without being considered for deportation and allowed to freely mix with the general population.
Now for the sickener. Senior staff members of the scandal-ridden UK Border Agency were paid bonuses of up to £10,000 last year despite an asylum backlog of 450,000 cases – plus the 160,000 AWOL overstayers dilemma.
One in four UKBA staff received payouts of up to £7,000 quid apiece – with one in fifty receiving bonuses of between £20,000 and £22,000, one in ten (11%) pocketed bonuses of between £15,000 and £20,000 and more than one in eight (13%) received bonuses of between £10,000 and £15,000 nicker.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Saturday, 7 July 2012
UK Plods on Paranoia Level Three Terror Alert
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Anybody still equipped with two ounces of common sense will have diligently observed that the ‘clock’s ticking’ run-up to the kick start of the 2012 Olympic Games has provided a bountiful opportunity for Broken Britain’s graft and corruption-ridden Libservative Coalition government to further demonise our Big Society’s ethnic minority Muslim population - and too perpetuate the fictional myth of suicide-bombing martyrdom / Paradise / 72 perpetual virgins culture that lies at the core of the Islamic religion.
This consummate ‘world focus’ occasion to conjure up a London / Olympics ‘victims’ scenario along the Zionist kikester ‘Holohoax’ theme was grasped by the Cabinet’s Behavioural Insights Team - aka the ‘Nudge Unit’ - months ago to further justify the contrived ‘war on terror’ by providing a fortuitous window for Bolshie Muslim radicals to blow something or the other up.
The mandate ran that if they’re not organised enough nor inclined to seize the day then simply expedite the Force Reconnaissance Regiment and MI5 to stage another of their past Northern Ireland or 7/7 style false flag incidents: blow up a couple of bendy buses, a stand full of Boris Bikes and shoot a few Brazilian electricians -and ‘voila!’ – that vital element of public headless chicken confusion is achieved and serves to justify further steps to implement the ultimate Big Brother panopticon control system society.
One such pre-emptive step to achieving this end and priming the ‘propaganda / scaremongering machine’ was expedited over the last couple of days as the UK’s intelligence and security forces went into over-reaction mode around the Olympic stadium-located Scabby Road / Stratford area of east London and arrested five men and a woman, aged between 18 and 30, on suspicion of terrorism offences.
According to the latest reports issued by the BBC (Biased Brainwashing Corporation) the arrests relate to a possible plot involving Islamist extremists carrying out terrorist attacks on potential UK targets.
Three of those held are brothers - Jahangir, Mohammed and Moybur Jaffacake – with one of the brothers an ex-police community support officer who served with the Metropolitan Plod Squad for two years. However Scotland Yard have confirmed he had not been deployed in any specialist or sensitive roles such as the assisted suicides of senior MoD weapons inspectors or placing explosive charges under tube train carriages.
Richard Dorkmonger, a Muslim convert who now goes by the nom de guerre of the ‘Semtex Shaheed Saracen’, was also detained in the raids on pre-crime charges following his appearance in a YouTube video which had the audacity to criticise the Royal Family as a bunch of work-shy scroungers and question aggressive British military action in illegally invaded Muslim countries – acts which earned him a good Tasering from arresting officers.
The Met Plod Squad’s Assistant Commissioner Cressida Dickhead, informed a press hack from the Chicken Little Gazette that the arrests were not linked to the Olympics or Paralympic Games but rather were part of a long-running operation that was culminated on Thursday on the grounds of raising public paranoia and the TAS (Terror Alert Signal) from ‘low’ to ‘severe’ after a suspected sub-nuclear explosive device – disguised to resemble an electronic cigarette - was discovered on a Preston to London bound Megabus in Staffordshire.
OMG! Criticism of the Royal Family and British neo-colonial military aggression in Muslim countries is now a ‘terrorist offence? What the fuck next, might we ask?
We’re blighted with stop n search orders under Section 60 of the Criminal Justice Order Act of 1994 that allow searches without reasonable suspicion.
We further have the Police Reform & Social Responsibility Act 2011; the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act; and too the Police and Criminal Evidence Act - Section 19 of which means Plod Squad thugs can seize any item they consider might just contain evidence in relation to an offence – such as your snot rag, socks or a pack of Polo mints.
Then we have the Community Safety Accreditation Scheme which bestows any and all from the Renta-Thug Agency: PCSOs and Community Enforcement Officers, Bailiffs, Special Constables, Tipstaffs, Traffic wardens, Water bailiffs, Wildlife inspectors, ‘Wheelie bin recycling technicians’ - and a host of other like officious psycho social misfits - with the powers of life and death over the hapless public.
And to cap the insanity we have the Protection of Freedoms Act 2012 – a joke in itself - which does no such thing.
So, what have Scameron and Co got lined up next? Copies of the US / Great Satan’s ‘Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act’ and ‘National Defence Authorization Act’ - whose Section 1021 sanctions the indefinite military detention of American citizens without charge or access to legal representation.
Hence any acts of bad-mouthing the wicked Windsors or questioning what the fuck British troops are doing torturing Iraqi dissidents in Abu Ghraib Prison, then you’re likely to be branded as suffering from ‘Oppositional Defiance Disorder’ – a mental condition which emanates from surfing alternative news websites, asking awkward questions, thinking for oneself and hence disbelieving what the government and mainstream corporate-fascist controlled media tell you.
‘ODD’ is an aberrant ‘non compos mentis’ affliction that requires the sufferer to be interred in some remote gulag and treated with a veritable cocktail of full strength psychotic medications – or, alternately, in grand Stalinist fashion, a 9mm parabellum Black Talon round through the back of the head.
Hmmm, cradle to the grave Nanny State indeed. Obviously not got Mary Poppins or Nanny McFee setting the ‘responsibility of care’ agenda.
Thought for the day. Hopefully – Insha’Allah - sweet fuck all of an untoward / violent nature occurs to make a balls-up of the Games, such as staging an impromptu Freestyle Armageddon Event for the closing ceremony.
Conversely it might be worth a laugh if they actually stage the Project Blue Beam alien invasion – with lots of wicked Windsor look-alike Reptilians.
Regardless, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and their ‘transparent’ paranoia-generating false flag schemes - and the New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Anybody still equipped with two ounces of common sense will have diligently observed that the ‘clock’s ticking’ run-up to the kick start of the 2012 Olympic Games has provided a bountiful opportunity for Broken Britain’s graft and corruption-ridden Libservative Coalition government to further demonise our Big Society’s ethnic minority Muslim population - and too perpetuate the fictional myth of suicide-bombing martyrdom / Paradise / 72 perpetual virgins culture that lies at the core of the Islamic religion.
This consummate ‘world focus’ occasion to conjure up a London / Olympics ‘victims’ scenario along the Zionist kikester ‘Holohoax’ theme was grasped by the Cabinet’s Behavioural Insights Team - aka the ‘Nudge Unit’ - months ago to further justify the contrived ‘war on terror’ by providing a fortuitous window for Bolshie Muslim radicals to blow something or the other up.
The mandate ran that if they’re not organised enough nor inclined to seize the day then simply expedite the Force Reconnaissance Regiment and MI5 to stage another of their past Northern Ireland or 7/7 style false flag incidents: blow up a couple of bendy buses, a stand full of Boris Bikes and shoot a few Brazilian electricians -and ‘voila!’ – that vital element of public headless chicken confusion is achieved and serves to justify further steps to implement the ultimate Big Brother panopticon control system society.
One such pre-emptive step to achieving this end and priming the ‘propaganda / scaremongering machine’ was expedited over the last couple of days as the UK’s intelligence and security forces went into over-reaction mode around the Olympic stadium-located Scabby Road / Stratford area of east London and arrested five men and a woman, aged between 18 and 30, on suspicion of terrorism offences.
According to the latest reports issued by the BBC (Biased Brainwashing Corporation) the arrests relate to a possible plot involving Islamist extremists carrying out terrorist attacks on potential UK targets.
Three of those held are brothers - Jahangir, Mohammed and Moybur Jaffacake – with one of the brothers an ex-police community support officer who served with the Metropolitan Plod Squad for two years. However Scotland Yard have confirmed he had not been deployed in any specialist or sensitive roles such as the assisted suicides of senior MoD weapons inspectors or placing explosive charges under tube train carriages.
Richard Dorkmonger, a Muslim convert who now goes by the nom de guerre of the ‘Semtex Shaheed Saracen’, was also detained in the raids on pre-crime charges following his appearance in a YouTube video which had the audacity to criticise the Royal Family as a bunch of work-shy scroungers and question aggressive British military action in illegally invaded Muslim countries – acts which earned him a good Tasering from arresting officers.
The Met Plod Squad’s Assistant Commissioner Cressida Dickhead, informed a press hack from the Chicken Little Gazette that the arrests were not linked to the Olympics or Paralympic Games but rather were part of a long-running operation that was culminated on Thursday on the grounds of raising public paranoia and the TAS (Terror Alert Signal) from ‘low’ to ‘severe’ after a suspected sub-nuclear explosive device – disguised to resemble an electronic cigarette - was discovered on a Preston to London bound Megabus in Staffordshire.
OMG! Criticism of the Royal Family and British neo-colonial military aggression in Muslim countries is now a ‘terrorist offence? What the fuck next, might we ask?
We’re blighted with stop n search orders under Section 60 of the Criminal Justice Order Act of 1994 that allow searches without reasonable suspicion.
We further have the Police Reform & Social Responsibility Act 2011; the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act; and too the Police and Criminal Evidence Act - Section 19 of which means Plod Squad thugs can seize any item they consider might just contain evidence in relation to an offence – such as your snot rag, socks or a pack of Polo mints.
Then we have the Community Safety Accreditation Scheme which bestows any and all from the Renta-Thug Agency: PCSOs and Community Enforcement Officers, Bailiffs, Special Constables, Tipstaffs, Traffic wardens, Water bailiffs, Wildlife inspectors, ‘Wheelie bin recycling technicians’ - and a host of other like officious psycho social misfits - with the powers of life and death over the hapless public.
And to cap the insanity we have the Protection of Freedoms Act 2012 – a joke in itself - which does no such thing.
So, what have Scameron and Co got lined up next? Copies of the US / Great Satan’s ‘Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act’ and ‘National Defence Authorization Act’ - whose Section 1021 sanctions the indefinite military detention of American citizens without charge or access to legal representation.
Hence any acts of bad-mouthing the wicked Windsors or questioning what the fuck British troops are doing torturing Iraqi dissidents in Abu Ghraib Prison, then you’re likely to be branded as suffering from ‘Oppositional Defiance Disorder’ – a mental condition which emanates from surfing alternative news websites, asking awkward questions, thinking for oneself and hence disbelieving what the government and mainstream corporate-fascist controlled media tell you.
‘ODD’ is an aberrant ‘non compos mentis’ affliction that requires the sufferer to be interred in some remote gulag and treated with a veritable cocktail of full strength psychotic medications – or, alternately, in grand Stalinist fashion, a 9mm parabellum Black Talon round through the back of the head.
Hmmm, cradle to the grave Nanny State indeed. Obviously not got Mary Poppins or Nanny McFee setting the ‘responsibility of care’ agenda.
Thought for the day. Hopefully – Insha’Allah - sweet fuck all of an untoward / violent nature occurs to make a balls-up of the Games, such as staging an impromptu Freestyle Armageddon Event for the closing ceremony.
Conversely it might be worth a laugh if they actually stage the Project Blue Beam alien invasion – with lots of wicked Windsor look-alike Reptilians.
Regardless, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and their ‘transparent’ paranoia-generating false flag schemes - and the New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Posh Dave Bars Greek Scroungers
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The UK’s super-snob of a Tory Slime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, threw a bit of a racist wobbler earlier this week, stating for the public record that he’s ready to order the Borders Agency to block the entrance of Greek immigrants if the bankrupt nation’s ruling Kleptocracy Party technocrats get the country kicked out of the fatally flawed eurozone for failing to implement and enforce in entirety the draconian austerity measures stipulated by the EUSSR’s Bank of International Usury or default on the crippling interest payments of their mega-zillions €uro loans.
Speaking before the House of Conmans Liaison Committee on Tuesday, Scameron claimed he would take whatever measures were required to prevent legions of smelly Greek economic migrants, bent on fleeing their crippling recession, from entering Britain and signing on at the soon-to-be-renamed ‘Joblesscentre’.
“Hopefully our Borders Agency has a contingency plan for this sort of thing up their sleeve as we simply can’t have a bunch of scrounging Greek refugees coming over here and undercutting the minimum wage employment market - and doing thousands of our cheap labour Eastern European Polish pals out of a job.”
Scameron’s drastic actions were backed up by Home Secretary Theresa Maybe, who informed one press hack from the Xenophobes Gazette that “Immigration Minister Damian Greenfly and his Borders Agency are getting the barricades ready to prevent nationals from the EUSSR community from turning up on our doorstep if the euro currency goes totally tits up - as we have a reputation for being a soft touch and handing out welfare benefits to any old refugee and their dog.”
“Okay, before the Brussels bureaucrats kick off that people from the EUSSR community countries are entitled to live and work anywhere within the single market, it’s a fact that Britain’s already ‘broken’ enough and we can’t afford to support any more scrounging pikeys who’ve made a total fuck up of their own economies.”
New Labour’s child leader Ed Millipede was present in Parliament following his Tuesday morning playschool class and wholeheartedly agreed with the Libservative Coalition’s fears that certain cash-strapped EUSSR nationals (Greeks, Wops, Dagos, Paddys) might regard Broken Britain as an economic safe haven due it being a sensible non-eurozone country – even though the UK’s economy is in a double-dip recession – (read chronic 1930’s style ‘Depression’ with a large capital D).
However Millipede then raised the embarrassing question of what strategy would be employed by the labour-depleted ranks of the Borders Agency to prevent Greek refugees sneaking into the country – as they already have 160,000-plus visa-expired illegals running loose and unaccounted for around our green and pleasant land – not to mention the thousands of dodgy immigrants and refugees incarcerated in the Belmarsh holiday camp, and a host of other prisons, who are appealing against deportation orders.
Conversely, Posh Dave’s ‘Fuck the Greeks’ speech in Parliament has caused a backlash not only from Brussels but also Athens, with Greece's new thirteen-party coalition government’s Finance Minister, Spiros Zippo, informing the media “This elitist public school prat Scameron is threatening immigration policing measures which violate all principles, basic freedoms and rules of the European Union.”
“Why would any self-respecting Greek peasant living in the Mediterranean coastline zone want to go to Britain with their fog and rain - and such bad weather it would make a pig sick.”
Nice one Dave, how to make friends and influence people. Oh well, he has the reputation for being the kind of bloke you can take anywhere twice – the second time to apologise.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
The UK’s super-snob of a Tory Slime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, threw a bit of a racist wobbler earlier this week, stating for the public record that he’s ready to order the Borders Agency to block the entrance of Greek immigrants if the bankrupt nation’s ruling Kleptocracy Party technocrats get the country kicked out of the fatally flawed eurozone for failing to implement and enforce in entirety the draconian austerity measures stipulated by the EUSSR’s Bank of International Usury or default on the crippling interest payments of their mega-zillions €uro loans.
Speaking before the House of Conmans Liaison Committee on Tuesday, Scameron claimed he would take whatever measures were required to prevent legions of smelly Greek economic migrants, bent on fleeing their crippling recession, from entering Britain and signing on at the soon-to-be-renamed ‘Joblesscentre’.
“Hopefully our Borders Agency has a contingency plan for this sort of thing up their sleeve as we simply can’t have a bunch of scrounging Greek refugees coming over here and undercutting the minimum wage employment market - and doing thousands of our cheap labour Eastern European Polish pals out of a job.”
Scameron’s drastic actions were backed up by Home Secretary Theresa Maybe, who informed one press hack from the Xenophobes Gazette that “Immigration Minister Damian Greenfly and his Borders Agency are getting the barricades ready to prevent nationals from the EUSSR community from turning up on our doorstep if the euro currency goes totally tits up - as we have a reputation for being a soft touch and handing out welfare benefits to any old refugee and their dog.”
“Okay, before the Brussels bureaucrats kick off that people from the EUSSR community countries are entitled to live and work anywhere within the single market, it’s a fact that Britain’s already ‘broken’ enough and we can’t afford to support any more scrounging pikeys who’ve made a total fuck up of their own economies.”
New Labour’s child leader Ed Millipede was present in Parliament following his Tuesday morning playschool class and wholeheartedly agreed with the Libservative Coalition’s fears that certain cash-strapped EUSSR nationals (Greeks, Wops, Dagos, Paddys) might regard Broken Britain as an economic safe haven due it being a sensible non-eurozone country – even though the UK’s economy is in a double-dip recession – (read chronic 1930’s style ‘Depression’ with a large capital D).
However Millipede then raised the embarrassing question of what strategy would be employed by the labour-depleted ranks of the Borders Agency to prevent Greek refugees sneaking into the country – as they already have 160,000-plus visa-expired illegals running loose and unaccounted for around our green and pleasant land – not to mention the thousands of dodgy immigrants and refugees incarcerated in the Belmarsh holiday camp, and a host of other prisons, who are appealing against deportation orders.
Conversely, Posh Dave’s ‘Fuck the Greeks’ speech in Parliament has caused a backlash not only from Brussels but also Athens, with Greece's new thirteen-party coalition government’s Finance Minister, Spiros Zippo, informing the media “This elitist public school prat Scameron is threatening immigration policing measures which violate all principles, basic freedoms and rules of the European Union.”
“Why would any self-respecting Greek peasant living in the Mediterranean coastline zone want to go to Britain with their fog and rain - and such bad weather it would make a pig sick.”
Nice one Dave, how to make friends and influence people. Oh well, he has the reputation for being the kind of bloke you can take anywhere twice – the second time to apologise.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Friday, 6 July 2012
Paranoia Attack Closes M6 Motorway
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The entire road transportation system of Broken Britain was brought to a grinding halt yesterday when an NHS prescription-approved electronic cigarette being primed for a quick drag by a bus passenger was mistaken by a neurotic fellow traveller for a thermo-nuclear device getting armed and ready to detonate at the Olympic Games opening ceremony.
This ‘paranoid patriot’ whistleblower, apparently a member of PM Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society ‘Snitch & Grassers Club’, quick as a flash used his cellphone to contact GCHQ’s ‘Terrorist Alert’ hotline – along with every other fucker and their dog – from the local Staffordshire Plod Squad to MI5, the Salvation Army, the Lichfield Girl Guides troop - and the ‘dirty deeds done dirt cheap’ Force Reconnaissance Regiment.
According to eye witnesses caught up in the ensuing traffic jam, military types in fatigues descended like a shower of shit from choppers as the police evacuated the London-bound Megabus coach - with a headcount of 48 hapless passengers forced to sit on the Weeford Tollway tarmac for hours in a noughts and crosses cordon arrangement while they decided which ones to shove on the next CIA / MI6 extraordinary rendition flight to Saudi Arabia or Qatar for a spot of waterboarding and further questioning.
Armed officers, troops, fire fighters, ambulances and paramedics and bomb disposal experts, along with sniffer dogs and forensic techies were also brought in to aid the overkill mission, as a team of anoraks and beardies from the Porton Down and Aldermaston weapons research facilities, all kitted out in bio-hazard and radiation suits, scoured the Megabus charabanc for weapons of mass distraction – finally emerging with an electronic cigarette device which was destroyed in a controlled explosion in an adjacent field – just to be on the safe side.
The actual whistle-blower Frank McScrote, who managed to single-handedly bring the North-South traffic flow of the entire M6 to a grinding halt for four hours plus told press hacks “I sees some smoke comin’ outa this bloke’s bag, an’ he looks just like the wanted posters shown on the telly of that Mohammed bin Patsy an’ his mate Kareem al Ka-Boom wot did the 7/7 job on the London underground an’ that bus wot got the top blown off.”
“Okay, they might have got snuffed on the tube or shot at Canary Wharf, but it could have bin his brother or summat – even if he woz clean shaven an’ had ginger hair.”
Passenger Bev Titwank later told the BBC’s False Alarm Hour programme “I didn’t know what the fuck woz goin’ on an’ we woz made ter sit cross-legged on the tarmac and it were right cold an’ me haemorrhoids started playin’ up. Then I pissed me knickers cos it woz all dead scary and frightening, like – an’ it’s a wonder I didn’t shit me pants as well like wot happened at Alton Towers last year on that Oblivion ride thingy.”
Chief suspect Ron Hopeless, a trainee wheelbarrow mechanic from Preston, later told media reporters “For fuck’s sake, there was more plods and Renta-Thug types than you could shake a stick at, an’ them MI5 twats shoves a copy of the Terrorism Act in me face an’ sez “Read this, Achmed” - then they stuck me in a North Face holdall head first then zipped it up an’ one of ‘em started kickin’ me in the guts while the other sod kept shoutin’ “Where’s the effin’ Semtex?” So that’s it, no more fuckin’ electric ciggies fer me – I’m back on the nicotine gum.”
Following the incident which shut the M6 toll road in both directions, with traffic backed up to Gretna in the North and the Catthorpe Interchange in the South, Bev Titwank, a spokeswoman for Stagecoach / Megabus informed the media “We had 48 passengers booked on the Preston to London service and apart from initially all shitting kittens and shouting “It’s a fucking bomb!” – following a four hour squat on the tollway tarmac, they’re all negatively traumatised, dehydrated, hungry and ready to get trucking again. But security’s the top priority, especially since those rotten scumbags from MI5 and the Force Recon’ Regiment blew the top off our No 30 double-decker in Tavistock Square on 7/7. ”
Oh well, this is a dire phenomenon of their own making and a direct result of the government’s scare-mongering and repeated false flag terror attacks and associated hysteria.
We have the Ministry of Black Propaganda’s Chicken Little High Anxiety Department promoting a culture of paranoia via the media at every opportunity, demonising the Muslim population as potential suicide bomber crazies and the culture of Islam as breeding a hatred of Western ‘Democratic’ freedoms (sic) – and all to justify their ‘War on Terror’ illegal neo-colonial invasions – and get Tony Bliar off the hook for his war crimes.
Thought for the day. Anyone smell a rat here? A contrived ‘false alarm’ (read false flag) practice run drill to field the UK’s entire anti-terrorist apparatus and emergency support services (body bags, morticians, FRR agents provocateur) – along with a gaggle of salivating media hacks – and take ‘four hours’ to determine the purported threat to Western civilisation, our Democratic freedoms – and all life on Earth – was not more than an electro-ciggy?
However, while we might well expect more of the same as the Olympics approach, it’s a pity these useless twats can’t be galvanised into a similar fast-act response when some hapless sod reports an Asbo event or a burglary.
Regardless, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
The entire road transportation system of Broken Britain was brought to a grinding halt yesterday when an NHS prescription-approved electronic cigarette being primed for a quick drag by a bus passenger was mistaken by a neurotic fellow traveller for a thermo-nuclear device getting armed and ready to detonate at the Olympic Games opening ceremony.
This ‘paranoid patriot’ whistleblower, apparently a member of PM Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society ‘Snitch & Grassers Club’, quick as a flash used his cellphone to contact GCHQ’s ‘Terrorist Alert’ hotline – along with every other fucker and their dog – from the local Staffordshire Plod Squad to MI5, the Salvation Army, the Lichfield Girl Guides troop - and the ‘dirty deeds done dirt cheap’ Force Reconnaissance Regiment.
According to eye witnesses caught up in the ensuing traffic jam, military types in fatigues descended like a shower of shit from choppers as the police evacuated the London-bound Megabus coach - with a headcount of 48 hapless passengers forced to sit on the Weeford Tollway tarmac for hours in a noughts and crosses cordon arrangement while they decided which ones to shove on the next CIA / MI6 extraordinary rendition flight to Saudi Arabia or Qatar for a spot of waterboarding and further questioning.
Armed officers, troops, fire fighters, ambulances and paramedics and bomb disposal experts, along with sniffer dogs and forensic techies were also brought in to aid the overkill mission, as a team of anoraks and beardies from the Porton Down and Aldermaston weapons research facilities, all kitted out in bio-hazard and radiation suits, scoured the Megabus charabanc for weapons of mass distraction – finally emerging with an electronic cigarette device which was destroyed in a controlled explosion in an adjacent field – just to be on the safe side.
The actual whistle-blower Frank McScrote, who managed to single-handedly bring the North-South traffic flow of the entire M6 to a grinding halt for four hours plus told press hacks “I sees some smoke comin’ outa this bloke’s bag, an’ he looks just like the wanted posters shown on the telly of that Mohammed bin Patsy an’ his mate Kareem al Ka-Boom wot did the 7/7 job on the London underground an’ that bus wot got the top blown off.”
“Okay, they might have got snuffed on the tube or shot at Canary Wharf, but it could have bin his brother or summat – even if he woz clean shaven an’ had ginger hair.”
Passenger Bev Titwank later told the BBC’s False Alarm Hour programme “I didn’t know what the fuck woz goin’ on an’ we woz made ter sit cross-legged on the tarmac and it were right cold an’ me haemorrhoids started playin’ up. Then I pissed me knickers cos it woz all dead scary and frightening, like – an’ it’s a wonder I didn’t shit me pants as well like wot happened at Alton Towers last year on that Oblivion ride thingy.”
Chief suspect Ron Hopeless, a trainee wheelbarrow mechanic from Preston, later told media reporters “For fuck’s sake, there was more plods and Renta-Thug types than you could shake a stick at, an’ them MI5 twats shoves a copy of the Terrorism Act in me face an’ sez “Read this, Achmed” - then they stuck me in a North Face holdall head first then zipped it up an’ one of ‘em started kickin’ me in the guts while the other sod kept shoutin’ “Where’s the effin’ Semtex?” So that’s it, no more fuckin’ electric ciggies fer me – I’m back on the nicotine gum.”
Following the incident which shut the M6 toll road in both directions, with traffic backed up to Gretna in the North and the Catthorpe Interchange in the South, Bev Titwank, a spokeswoman for Stagecoach / Megabus informed the media “We had 48 passengers booked on the Preston to London service and apart from initially all shitting kittens and shouting “It’s a fucking bomb!” – following a four hour squat on the tollway tarmac, they’re all negatively traumatised, dehydrated, hungry and ready to get trucking again. But security’s the top priority, especially since those rotten scumbags from MI5 and the Force Recon’ Regiment blew the top off our No 30 double-decker in Tavistock Square on 7/7. ”
Oh well, this is a dire phenomenon of their own making and a direct result of the government’s scare-mongering and repeated false flag terror attacks and associated hysteria.
We have the Ministry of Black Propaganda’s Chicken Little High Anxiety Department promoting a culture of paranoia via the media at every opportunity, demonising the Muslim population as potential suicide bomber crazies and the culture of Islam as breeding a hatred of Western ‘Democratic’ freedoms (sic) – and all to justify their ‘War on Terror’ illegal neo-colonial invasions – and get Tony Bliar off the hook for his war crimes.
Thought for the day. Anyone smell a rat here? A contrived ‘false alarm’ (read false flag) practice run drill to field the UK’s entire anti-terrorist apparatus and emergency support services (body bags, morticians, FRR agents provocateur) – along with a gaggle of salivating media hacks – and take ‘four hours’ to determine the purported threat to Western civilisation, our Democratic freedoms – and all life on Earth – was not more than an electro-ciggy?
However, while we might well expect more of the same as the Olympics approach, it’s a pity these useless twats can’t be galvanised into a similar fast-act response when some hapless sod reports an Asbo event or a burglary.
Regardless, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Shard Viewing Platform: a Rip-Off Bar None
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The Shard - perhaps the most stupid architectural concept to be backed by finance and given life via the route of ‘construction’ since the poxy Gherkin - was inaugurated last Thursday night with a laser light show visible across London, amid outrage from the austerity-stricken public regarding the exorbitant costs of visiting the anomaly’s ‘eyrie’ viewing platform.
Britain's highest building at 1,016 feet tall – including the metre-thick layer of pigeon shit already accumulated on its spire - the shoddy Shard will be blessed by Monsignor Seamus McFudger of the Bermondsey parish’s St Sodoms Church for Latter Day Pederasts at an inaugural ceremony attended by the roly-poly Prime Minister of Qatar, Hamad bin Jabba the Hutt al Fat Git - and Prince ‘Air Miles’ Andy, the money-grubbing second son of Broken Britain’s ruling wicked Windsor family.
Tickets to the viewing platform will cost an extortionate £25 quid for an adult and £19 for a child – totalling £88 nicker for a family of four to visit the ‘summit’ and look out over the sprawling mess of ethnic slum chaos, bendy bikes and landfill sites that London has now evolved into since Bonkers Boris Nonsense became Mayor of the Metropolis.
Conversely, Ripoff Productions, the PR firm representing the viewing platform side of the eyesore project insisted it was competitively priced compared to other major London tourist attractions – such as a two-hour ‘spankeroo’ session and clusterfuck at Mme Olga’s Dominatrix Chambers located at the Doggers Wood end of Chelsea’s prestigious Max Mosley Memorial Gardens.
Ripoff’s spokeswoman, Ms Beverly Titwank, also pointed out that the "visitor experience" would include such delights as being pick-pocketed and having one’s wallet emptied while hurtling skywards at 120 feet per second in one of the Shard’s ‘kaleidoscopic elevators’ to the pinnacle of the UK’s tallest building.
Conversely, Ron McScrote of the Bermondsey Village Action Group, informed one press hack from the Abominations Review “Just wot we fuckin’ need, this pile of shite planted in our back yard as a monument ter the munificence of the Emirate of Qatar – an’ wot’s clearly at odds wiv the community in which it's defiantly planted itself, regardless of our objections. Egypt’s the effin’ place fer pyramids – not Bermondsey. The thing’s about as intrinsically endearing as a garden shed wiv a corrugated iron roof.”
Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, governor of the Qatar Bank of International Usury which joint-owns the Babelesque tower, told media reporters he would be the first occupant of the aptly-named Nimrod Suite penthouse, then arrogantly added "The Shard is an expression of the growing wealth, power and cultural influence of the Arab Islamic world and a beacon to highlight our domination of traditional Western industries and commercial enterprises.”
Architect Gonzo Piano Accordion, a former Muppet, spoke to the media regarding the Shard’s exterior completion "This building is not going to be a symbol of power but one of greed – dominating the City’s skyline and dedicated to the god of materialistic, ostentatious waste – Mammon. I’m just hoping no Muslim terrorists fly a passenger jet into it like the World Trade Centre towers before ICTS and Stratasec have chance to rig their explosives and get the place insured by those underwriter schmucks Larry Silverslime uses.”
“It is a credit to the ruling family of Qatar that they have a few quid left over from financing and arming the foreign mercenaries currently posing as the Free Syrian Army and slaughtering civilians – and are able to afford tonight’s laser light show ceremony spectacular which is scheduled to begin at 22:15 BST - and beams will be fired from its summit to London’s skyscrapers and landmarks such as Nelson’s Column and Canary Wharf and really disturb the roosting pigeons that shit on me every day.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
The Shard - perhaps the most stupid architectural concept to be backed by finance and given life via the route of ‘construction’ since the poxy Gherkin - was inaugurated last Thursday night with a laser light show visible across London, amid outrage from the austerity-stricken public regarding the exorbitant costs of visiting the anomaly’s ‘eyrie’ viewing platform.
Britain's highest building at 1,016 feet tall – including the metre-thick layer of pigeon shit already accumulated on its spire - the shoddy Shard will be blessed by Monsignor Seamus McFudger of the Bermondsey parish’s St Sodoms Church for Latter Day Pederasts at an inaugural ceremony attended by the roly-poly Prime Minister of Qatar, Hamad bin Jabba the Hutt al Fat Git - and Prince ‘Air Miles’ Andy, the money-grubbing second son of Broken Britain’s ruling wicked Windsor family.
Tickets to the viewing platform will cost an extortionate £25 quid for an adult and £19 for a child – totalling £88 nicker for a family of four to visit the ‘summit’ and look out over the sprawling mess of ethnic slum chaos, bendy bikes and landfill sites that London has now evolved into since Bonkers Boris Nonsense became Mayor of the Metropolis.
Conversely, Ripoff Productions, the PR firm representing the viewing platform side of the eyesore project insisted it was competitively priced compared to other major London tourist attractions – such as a two-hour ‘spankeroo’ session and clusterfuck at Mme Olga’s Dominatrix Chambers located at the Doggers Wood end of Chelsea’s prestigious Max Mosley Memorial Gardens.
Ripoff’s spokeswoman, Ms Beverly Titwank, also pointed out that the "visitor experience" would include such delights as being pick-pocketed and having one’s wallet emptied while hurtling skywards at 120 feet per second in one of the Shard’s ‘kaleidoscopic elevators’ to the pinnacle of the UK’s tallest building.
Conversely, Ron McScrote of the Bermondsey Village Action Group, informed one press hack from the Abominations Review “Just wot we fuckin’ need, this pile of shite planted in our back yard as a monument ter the munificence of the Emirate of Qatar – an’ wot’s clearly at odds wiv the community in which it's defiantly planted itself, regardless of our objections. Egypt’s the effin’ place fer pyramids – not Bermondsey. The thing’s about as intrinsically endearing as a garden shed wiv a corrugated iron roof.”
Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, governor of the Qatar Bank of International Usury which joint-owns the Babelesque tower, told media reporters he would be the first occupant of the aptly-named Nimrod Suite penthouse, then arrogantly added "The Shard is an expression of the growing wealth, power and cultural influence of the Arab Islamic world and a beacon to highlight our domination of traditional Western industries and commercial enterprises.”
Architect Gonzo Piano Accordion, a former Muppet, spoke to the media regarding the Shard’s exterior completion "This building is not going to be a symbol of power but one of greed – dominating the City’s skyline and dedicated to the god of materialistic, ostentatious waste – Mammon. I’m just hoping no Muslim terrorists fly a passenger jet into it like the World Trade Centre towers before ICTS and Stratasec have chance to rig their explosives and get the place insured by those underwriter schmucks Larry Silverslime uses.”
“It is a credit to the ruling family of Qatar that they have a few quid left over from financing and arming the foreign mercenaries currently posing as the Free Syrian Army and slaughtering civilians – and are able to afford tonight’s laser light show ceremony spectacular which is scheduled to begin at 22:15 BST - and beams will be fired from its summit to London’s skyscrapers and landmarks such as Nelson’s Column and Canary Wharf and really disturb the roosting pigeons that shit on me every day.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Thursday, 5 July 2012
Scameron Anoints Olympics Missile Deployment
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The UK’s pathetic excuse for a Defence Secretary, Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond, announced during a press conference yesterday – initially called to condemn President ‘Basher’ Assad and his belligerent Syrian military regime for shooting down two Tornado GR4 fighter aircraft belonging to RAF Lossiemouth’s 617 Squadron in bonny Scotland – that the case to deploy Shitstreak and Rapist surface-to-air missile batteries on top of blocks of residential apartments around London during the Olympic Games had now been proven beyond all shadow of doubt due this latest atrocity by a rogue Muslim terrorist cartel posing as an Arab government.
Denying earlier reports, which appeared on the front page banner headline of the Warmongers Gazette, that the two Tornado fighters had actually suffered a head-on collision while playing a game of aerial dogfight ‘chicken’, the insufferable Hammond claimed that while one aircrew had successfully ejected and been rescued, the pilot and navigator of the second Tornado were believed to have been kidnapped by Syrian intelligence agents operating from a Russian submarine in the Moray Firth crash zone.
Hammond, the Tory MP for Runnynose and founder of the town’s Chronic Halitosis Club - and yet another of the Tory-dominated Cabinet’s zillionaire Ministers, who made his money from speculating on firewood futures during the Twatcher-era coal miner strikes - further added as justification for the controversial missile battery placements “Whilst until this unprovoked attack on our RAF Tornados yesterday there was no certain and imminent terrorist threat to the London Olympics venue, the public expects that their government act with prudence by expediting a range of measures aimed at ensuring the ‘safety’ and security of this once-in-a-generation event.”
Safety? Que? WTF? Any aerial-launched attack vehicles (hijacked plane / nutcase on hang glider wearing a Semtex vest) used by Muslim terrorists against the Stratford Olympic stadium or other related venues that are shot down by a Shitstreak or Rapist missile within the three mile effective range radius of the sited batteries - coming in from the North, South, East or West of London, will bring whatever airborne threat hurtling down on a residential / inhabited area with catastrophic ‘fireball’ consequences – probably exceeding the kill factor of such actually hitting an Olympics-related event. And this is Hammond’s idea of ensuring the safety of the hapless public?
To impale himself further on his own bullshit rhetoric, old ‘Dandruff’ added: "A small number of Bolshie civil rights activists have unpatriotically objected to the deployment of these defensive measures and they are currently being investigated by the intelligence services for possible Islamic terrorist sympathies and might well end up being arrested on charges of pre-crime treason.”
Confirming Hammond’s words, Posh Dave Scameron, speaking to a reporter from the Muslim Basher's Review outside Whitehall’s Black Propaganda Ministry, revealed that responsibility for the actual ‘Fire’ order for the missile batteries would come from London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense after Deputy PM Mick Clogg refused to be involved in any ‘finger on the button’ act that could prove to be a classical career suicide move.
“This Assad oick and his terrorist mates, not satisfied with firing their missiles at Turkish fighter jets, have now taken the offensive against us for pushing sanctions against Syria and barring their athletes from the 2012 Olympics here in London. That’s why we need the missile battery emplacements on top of these high rise blocks of flats around Slumborough Hamlets, such as the 17-story Fred Wogg Tower, to counter future threats.”
Conversely, Bazzer McScrote, director of Twat-Watch, the government abuse monitor charity, opined to the media that “Have these morons at the MoD got a team of rock apes thinking this shit up? Wot we’ve got here is a class act of insanity. More disingenuous government narratives, media psyops’s and manipulated terrorist threats stirrin' up psychological trauma fer the effin’ public wot’s shittin’ kittens already cos of rumours about that Welsh poofter wot worked fer GCHQ an’ MI5 an’ got shoved in a North Face holdall an’ snuffed fer planning ter do a whistle-blowin’ stunt an’ snitch them up fer who really did the 7/7 tube train terror attacks.”
“So in place of the next Big Al Qaeda Gang’s terrorist ‘Shock n Awe’ attack we’ve got Hammond an’ the upper echelons of the Libservative Coalition now demonisin’ Basher Assad an’ Syria as the latest Islamic bogeyman an’ perpetuating this concocted version of reality, punctuated wiv graphic portrayals of Jolly Jihad suicide bomber strikes – all courtesy of MI5’s False Flag Department – an’ generate an excuse fer a NATO humanitarian intervention invasion ter unseat the Damascus regime an’ old Assad gets it in the neck, same as wot Saddam Hussein an’ Gaddafi did.”
Thought for the day. 2012 Olympic Games terror threat levels:
Critical - attack expected imminently – ICTS Security manning airports / Mossad Hi-Fivers Unit team up with the UK’s Force Reconnaissance Regiment agent provocateurs at Stagecoach Bus Depot in London.
Severe - attack highly likely – Mohammed al Patsy spotted at Stoogewell Tube Station on Verint Systems CCTV.
Substantial – false flag attack a strong possibility / Visor Consultants carry out anti-terror drill with MI5 / Mossad.
Moderate - attack possible due increase of BBC Chicken Little Hour media hysteria.
Low - an attack unlikely due lack of media propaganda.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
The UK’s pathetic excuse for a Defence Secretary, Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond, announced during a press conference yesterday – initially called to condemn President ‘Basher’ Assad and his belligerent Syrian military regime for shooting down two Tornado GR4 fighter aircraft belonging to RAF Lossiemouth’s 617 Squadron in bonny Scotland – that the case to deploy Shitstreak and Rapist surface-to-air missile batteries on top of blocks of residential apartments around London during the Olympic Games had now been proven beyond all shadow of doubt due this latest atrocity by a rogue Muslim terrorist cartel posing as an Arab government.
Denying earlier reports, which appeared on the front page banner headline of the Warmongers Gazette, that the two Tornado fighters had actually suffered a head-on collision while playing a game of aerial dogfight ‘chicken’, the insufferable Hammond claimed that while one aircrew had successfully ejected and been rescued, the pilot and navigator of the second Tornado were believed to have been kidnapped by Syrian intelligence agents operating from a Russian submarine in the Moray Firth crash zone.
Hammond, the Tory MP for Runnynose and founder of the town’s Chronic Halitosis Club - and yet another of the Tory-dominated Cabinet’s zillionaire Ministers, who made his money from speculating on firewood futures during the Twatcher-era coal miner strikes - further added as justification for the controversial missile battery placements “Whilst until this unprovoked attack on our RAF Tornados yesterday there was no certain and imminent terrorist threat to the London Olympics venue, the public expects that their government act with prudence by expediting a range of measures aimed at ensuring the ‘safety’ and security of this once-in-a-generation event.”
Safety? Que? WTF? Any aerial-launched attack vehicles (hijacked plane / nutcase on hang glider wearing a Semtex vest) used by Muslim terrorists against the Stratford Olympic stadium or other related venues that are shot down by a Shitstreak or Rapist missile within the three mile effective range radius of the sited batteries - coming in from the North, South, East or West of London, will bring whatever airborne threat hurtling down on a residential / inhabited area with catastrophic ‘fireball’ consequences – probably exceeding the kill factor of such actually hitting an Olympics-related event. And this is Hammond’s idea of ensuring the safety of the hapless public?
To impale himself further on his own bullshit rhetoric, old ‘Dandruff’ added: "A small number of Bolshie civil rights activists have unpatriotically objected to the deployment of these defensive measures and they are currently being investigated by the intelligence services for possible Islamic terrorist sympathies and might well end up being arrested on charges of pre-crime treason.”
Confirming Hammond’s words, Posh Dave Scameron, speaking to a reporter from the Muslim Basher's Review outside Whitehall’s Black Propaganda Ministry, revealed that responsibility for the actual ‘Fire’ order for the missile batteries would come from London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense after Deputy PM Mick Clogg refused to be involved in any ‘finger on the button’ act that could prove to be a classical career suicide move.
“This Assad oick and his terrorist mates, not satisfied with firing their missiles at Turkish fighter jets, have now taken the offensive against us for pushing sanctions against Syria and barring their athletes from the 2012 Olympics here in London. That’s why we need the missile battery emplacements on top of these high rise blocks of flats around Slumborough Hamlets, such as the 17-story Fred Wogg Tower, to counter future threats.”
Conversely, Bazzer McScrote, director of Twat-Watch, the government abuse monitor charity, opined to the media that “Have these morons at the MoD got a team of rock apes thinking this shit up? Wot we’ve got here is a class act of insanity. More disingenuous government narratives, media psyops’s and manipulated terrorist threats stirrin' up psychological trauma fer the effin’ public wot’s shittin’ kittens already cos of rumours about that Welsh poofter wot worked fer GCHQ an’ MI5 an’ got shoved in a North Face holdall an’ snuffed fer planning ter do a whistle-blowin’ stunt an’ snitch them up fer who really did the 7/7 tube train terror attacks.”
“So in place of the next Big Al Qaeda Gang’s terrorist ‘Shock n Awe’ attack we’ve got Hammond an’ the upper echelons of the Libservative Coalition now demonisin’ Basher Assad an’ Syria as the latest Islamic bogeyman an’ perpetuating this concocted version of reality, punctuated wiv graphic portrayals of Jolly Jihad suicide bomber strikes – all courtesy of MI5’s False Flag Department – an’ generate an excuse fer a NATO humanitarian intervention invasion ter unseat the Damascus regime an’ old Assad gets it in the neck, same as wot Saddam Hussein an’ Gaddafi did.”
Thought for the day. 2012 Olympic Games terror threat levels:
Critical - attack expected imminently – ICTS Security manning airports / Mossad Hi-Fivers Unit team up with the UK’s Force Reconnaissance Regiment agent provocateurs at Stagecoach Bus Depot in London.
Severe - attack highly likely – Mohammed al Patsy spotted at Stoogewell Tube Station on Verint Systems CCTV.
Substantial – false flag attack a strong possibility / Visor Consultants carry out anti-terror drill with MI5 / Mossad.
Moderate - attack possible due increase of BBC Chicken Little Hour media hysteria.
Low - an attack unlikely due lack of media propaganda.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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