In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Pope Benny, the German Mk XVI ubermensch model, has accepted an invitation from Britain’s closet Catholic-Jewess Queen Lizzie to visit London - and Scotland’s kiddie fiddling centre of Aberdeen - during a four-day junket this September.
To mark the occasion with a tribute to Mammon, the God of Greed, the Catholic Bishops' Conferences of Scotland, England and Wales has flogged off the lucrative souvenir franchise to the vulgarian ‘SHIT Group’ – naming them the official ‘Papalibilia’ merchandiser - while wholly ignoring the fact that 90% of their products are Third World sweat shop crap.
Benny plans to kick start his visit in bonny Scotland and will preside over the beatification of Father ‘Aberdeen’ Angus McScrunt – the founder of Grampian’s Ferryhill-based St Sodom’s Church of the Latter Day Pederasts – with 80,000 pilgrims expected at the Doggers Park Auditorium. This ceremony will be followed by the official grand opening of the Joey Ratflinger Orphanage for Wayward Choirboys – a charitable venture financed by Aberdeen’s dodgy ‘Tartan Tadgers’ Masonic Lodge and the city’s ruling Freemason paedophile elite.
However the planned visit has attracted copious lashings of criticism due the advanced mass marketing campaign to flog official merchandise and commemorative memorabilia to celebrate the questionable papal tour.
The kitsch souvenirs include ready-blessed ‘Pope on a Rope’ shower soap, Vatican City coffee mugs, papal flags, ‘Burn the Heretic’ baseball caps, chrome-plated crucifixion nails, prayer cards, fake stigmata blood, candles, Inquisition t-shirts, rosary beads, Sacred Heart personal vibrators, crotchless cassocks, St Boris the Blasphemer key fobs, nipple rings and Prince Albert penile piercing barbells.
Celebrity atheist author Richard Dorkins told one reporter from the Heathens Gazette that “The entire charade qualifies as a money-spinning disgrace so typical of the Catholic religious institutions, marketing ‘ready blessed’ gee-gaws to a gullible public – as instanced by these ‘luminous glow-in-the-dark rosary beads’ and this scandalous ‘Raving Rugmuchers of St Sappho’s Convent’ – a sexually explicit DVD about the nefarious antics of a bunch of lesbian nuns.”
“Plus these dodgy gits have the audacity to levy a parish fee of £20 quid per head to attend this beatification ceremony for a notorious kiddie fiddling priest whose perverted 19th Century paedo’ escapades left scores of altar boys with ruptured sphincters.”
“What pisses me off even more was the announcement that the Irish clerical singing group ‘The Catamite Crew’ will headline the Doggers Park Prayer Vigil, which is going to be m/c'd by Garry Glitter.”
Thought for the day: Would you pay £20 quid to go and see an ex-Nazi Hitler Youth member wearing a daft hat and a crinoline cassock festooned with sequins preside over a religious beatification ceremony for a notorious Satanist and career paedo’ like Father ‘Aberdeen’ Angus McScrunt?
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel shit.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Japan’s Oldest Man was Corpse
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The Centenarian might well have been reputed to be the oldest man in Tokyo but when officials went to congratulate Mr Soggy Twatso on his 135th birthday, they uncovered mummified skeletal remains lying in his bed – with an ensuing autopsy and post mortem inquiry revealing he had been dead for 30 years, according to Japanese authorities.
Local officials grew suspicious when they went to honour Mr Twatso at his address in the city’s Scumbag Village but his grand-daughter Mrs Kuntsu Fuctifino told them to “Go take an effin’ hike – he don’t wanna see any fucker.”
Social welfare officials had tried to check on Mr Twatso since early this year. However on each occasion they went to visit family members repeatedly chased them away – according to one report in the Benefit Cheats Gazette.
Care authorities grew suspicious and sought an investigation by the Tokyo Plod Squad who forced their way into the house last Wednesday after tasering Mr Twatso’s grand-daughter to disarm her of the Samurai sword she was wielding to prevent their entry.
They discovered a mummified body, believed to be Mr Twatso’s, lying in a bed, wearing pyjamas and propped up with a pillow pretending to read a newspaper and wearing MP3 player earphones blasting out the strains of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 7 Movement 2 – The Death March.
While the Tokyo social services are now investigating the family on possible fraud charges as the family had received 9.5 million yen (£70,000) in widower's pension payments via Mr Twatso's bank account since his wife died six years ago and were still drawing his weekly state pension allowance.
In their defence Twatso’s relatives told police that he had confined himself in his room more than 30 years ago and became a living Buddha.
Meanwhile, after Tokyo officials discovered the city's supposed oldest man had died 30 years ago, they have undertaken a series of checks on their centenarian population and discovered that the city’s reputed oldest woman has been missing for the past ten years.
Mrs Fuka Fukarama, aged 113, had been registered as living with her daughter Ms Candida Fukarama – who, when confronted with questions of her mother’s whereabouts, pronounced she’d not seen her mother since the old lady went off with her Facebook toy boy to celebrate at a Millennium party on New Year’s Eve, 1999.
Despite being reputed to be Tokyo's oldest woman, it appears no-one had bothered to check that Mrs Fukarama was still alive - until now.
According to government data, there are more than 40,000 centenarians registered in Japan but the recent fraudulent discoveries in Tokyo have now cast doubt on the accuracy and veracity of the numbers still being alive and well, and not being maintained as such by greedy relatives who continue to draw their pensions and other welfare benefits and saying ‘to Hell’ with giving them a timely funeral and burial service.
Do you have any skeletons stacked in your wardrobes? How about the odd deceased Granny stuck under the bed?
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
The Centenarian might well have been reputed to be the oldest man in Tokyo but when officials went to congratulate Mr Soggy Twatso on his 135th birthday, they uncovered mummified skeletal remains lying in his bed – with an ensuing autopsy and post mortem inquiry revealing he had been dead for 30 years, according to Japanese authorities.
Local officials grew suspicious when they went to honour Mr Twatso at his address in the city’s Scumbag Village but his grand-daughter Mrs Kuntsu Fuctifino told them to “Go take an effin’ hike – he don’t wanna see any fucker.”
Social welfare officials had tried to check on Mr Twatso since early this year. However on each occasion they went to visit family members repeatedly chased them away – according to one report in the Benefit Cheats Gazette.
Care authorities grew suspicious and sought an investigation by the Tokyo Plod Squad who forced their way into the house last Wednesday after tasering Mr Twatso’s grand-daughter to disarm her of the Samurai sword she was wielding to prevent their entry.
They discovered a mummified body, believed to be Mr Twatso’s, lying in a bed, wearing pyjamas and propped up with a pillow pretending to read a newspaper and wearing MP3 player earphones blasting out the strains of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 7 Movement 2 – The Death March.
While the Tokyo social services are now investigating the family on possible fraud charges as the family had received 9.5 million yen (£70,000) in widower's pension payments via Mr Twatso's bank account since his wife died six years ago and were still drawing his weekly state pension allowance.
In their defence Twatso’s relatives told police that he had confined himself in his room more than 30 years ago and became a living Buddha.
Meanwhile, after Tokyo officials discovered the city's supposed oldest man had died 30 years ago, they have undertaken a series of checks on their centenarian population and discovered that the city’s reputed oldest woman has been missing for the past ten years.
Mrs Fuka Fukarama, aged 113, had been registered as living with her daughter Ms Candida Fukarama – who, when confronted with questions of her mother’s whereabouts, pronounced she’d not seen her mother since the old lady went off with her Facebook toy boy to celebrate at a Millennium party on New Year’s Eve, 1999.
Despite being reputed to be Tokyo's oldest woman, it appears no-one had bothered to check that Mrs Fukarama was still alive - until now.
According to government data, there are more than 40,000 centenarians registered in Japan but the recent fraudulent discoveries in Tokyo have now cast doubt on the accuracy and veracity of the numbers still being alive and well, and not being maintained as such by greedy relatives who continue to draw their pensions and other welfare benefits and saying ‘to Hell’ with giving them a timely funeral and burial service.
Do you have any skeletons stacked in your wardrobes? How about the odd deceased Granny stuck under the bed?
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Afghanistan: US Military Fatalities Soar
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
As US military fatalities in Afghanistan hit a new high in July, embedded US Army whistleblowers working for Ox-Rat, the snitch and grassers anti-war charity, fed heaps of grist into the rumour machine exposing record suicides, hard drug abuse and other signs of deep demoralization among the ranks after a decade of illegal colonial-style wars in the Graveyard of Empires and Iraq.
Another six US troops were killed in a series of four separate attacks (averaging 1:5 grunts per attack) across southern Afghanistan on Thursday and Friday, bringing the total death toll for the month of July to at least 66 for the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment alone.
This follows the previous record death toll set last month of 60 troops from the 18th Body Bag Brigade – with both being double the average number of fatalities for the first five months of this year.
While the Taliban Dan Gang’s inflicted casualties in Afghanistan continue to soar to a most embarrassing figure, the number of suicides and other violent non-combat deaths among US Army soldiers is rising even more steeply.
The Army’s official 3500-page report issued last Thursday, titled 'Kill the Taliban – Not Yourselves', placed the suicides in a broader context of dangerous and psychotic behaviour among soldiers, including rampant drug use, sky diving without a parachute, Russian Roulette with a fully chambered revolver – and games of drunken Hop Scotch across the minefields.
Thus as the US military continue to demonstrate they can achieve a higher body count by killing themselves than their declared Afghan enemies, the Taliban’s hierarchy have now decided on a revised and innovative long-term strategy - to sit back and relax – and let the Coalition of the Damned’s ‘Operation Enduring Warfare’ do their job for them.
This is illustrated when one considers the fact that while 66 US troops were terminated by the Taliban’s muhijadeen during NATO’s ‘Project Kill Every Fucker’ shock and awe surge in July – another 87 were snuffed by friendly fire, with 38 poppy plantation guards croaking from opium and heroin overdoses.
The July figures indicate a further 42 troops became so sick and disillusioned with the entire illegal war and Al Qaeda scam scenarios - and further pricked by states of moral conscience over the numbers of innocent civilians they were ordered to ‘snuff with extreme prejudice’ - that they chose the route of suicide to get their sad arses demobbed – now constituting a tripling (300% rise) in fatal self-harming incidences since the illegitimate invasion kick started in 2001.
However, while official figures rate the number of actual deserters at 158 for July, the above statistics make no mention of the total number of gung ho shit-for-brains West Point commissioned officers getting fragged or double tapped by their pissed-off troopers.
Regardless the official Pentagon report does not deal with the suicide rate among veterans, which is considerably worse than those still on active duty. A 2009 study estimated the suicide rate among male veterans aged 20 to 24 at four times the national average—more than 400 per 100,000 each year.
The report is remarkably frank about the horrendous impact of the Army’s involvement for nearly nine years in the US colonial-style wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, with General Billy Bob Warthog candidly informing one reporter from the Warmongers Gazette “We now must face the unintended consequences of leading a fucked up expeditionary Army that included involuntary enlistment extensions, accelerated promotions, extended deployment rotations, reduced dwell time and potentially diverted focus from leading and caring for soldiers who, have been pushed to their breaking point and are now total basket cases.”
“No shit, the only reason these guys are staying in Afghanistan is because the opium’s free and goat sex isn’t a crime.”
Among the more startling psychiatric evaluations and conclusions contained in the report is that the rising suicide and accidental death rates are closely bound up with a growing use of drugs, both prescribed and illegal.
The drug epidemic has been fuelled by active duty soldiers dealing with pain, depression, pre-menstrual tension, transgender sexual identity conflicts, and other forms of mental anguish stemming, in many cases, from their exposure to killing and violence in Iraq and Afghanistan and learning from their disillusioned chaplain that there is no God and they won’t be going to Heaven.
Drugs also have played a substantial role in the skyrocketing of criminal activity among soldiers. In 2009 soldiers were reported to have committed over 50,000 misdemeanour criminal offences, compared to 28,000 five years earlier.
The most common offences were motor vehicle related, including drunk driving cases, speeding and road fatalities, which have increased by 166% since 2004. The next largest category was soldiers going absent without leave (AWOL) or deserting, which has more than doubled (234%) over the last five years.
Conversely, topping the list were offences of a sexual nature which have quadrupled with quadrupeds – and committed while intoxicated or drugged up -with randy troopers driven to distraction to find out what Afghan women actually wear under their burkas – or forgoing acts of human rape - being caught ‘in flagrante delicto’ stuck up the arse end of a goat.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Thought for the day: Fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
As US military fatalities in Afghanistan hit a new high in July, embedded US Army whistleblowers working for Ox-Rat, the snitch and grassers anti-war charity, fed heaps of grist into the rumour machine exposing record suicides, hard drug abuse and other signs of deep demoralization among the ranks after a decade of illegal colonial-style wars in the Graveyard of Empires and Iraq.
Another six US troops were killed in a series of four separate attacks (averaging 1:5 grunts per attack) across southern Afghanistan on Thursday and Friday, bringing the total death toll for the month of July to at least 66 for the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment alone.
This follows the previous record death toll set last month of 60 troops from the 18th Body Bag Brigade – with both being double the average number of fatalities for the first five months of this year.
While the Taliban Dan Gang’s inflicted casualties in Afghanistan continue to soar to a most embarrassing figure, the number of suicides and other violent non-combat deaths among US Army soldiers is rising even more steeply.
The Army’s official 3500-page report issued last Thursday, titled 'Kill the Taliban – Not Yourselves', placed the suicides in a broader context of dangerous and psychotic behaviour among soldiers, including rampant drug use, sky diving without a parachute, Russian Roulette with a fully chambered revolver – and games of drunken Hop Scotch across the minefields.
Thus as the US military continue to demonstrate they can achieve a higher body count by killing themselves than their declared Afghan enemies, the Taliban’s hierarchy have now decided on a revised and innovative long-term strategy - to sit back and relax – and let the Coalition of the Damned’s ‘Operation Enduring Warfare’ do their job for them.
This is illustrated when one considers the fact that while 66 US troops were terminated by the Taliban’s muhijadeen during NATO’s ‘Project Kill Every Fucker’ shock and awe surge in July – another 87 were snuffed by friendly fire, with 38 poppy plantation guards croaking from opium and heroin overdoses.
The July figures indicate a further 42 troops became so sick and disillusioned with the entire illegal war and Al Qaeda scam scenarios - and further pricked by states of moral conscience over the numbers of innocent civilians they were ordered to ‘snuff with extreme prejudice’ - that they chose the route of suicide to get their sad arses demobbed – now constituting a tripling (300% rise) in fatal self-harming incidences since the illegitimate invasion kick started in 2001.
However, while official figures rate the number of actual deserters at 158 for July, the above statistics make no mention of the total number of gung ho shit-for-brains West Point commissioned officers getting fragged or double tapped by their pissed-off troopers.
Regardless the official Pentagon report does not deal with the suicide rate among veterans, which is considerably worse than those still on active duty. A 2009 study estimated the suicide rate among male veterans aged 20 to 24 at four times the national average—more than 400 per 100,000 each year.
The report is remarkably frank about the horrendous impact of the Army’s involvement for nearly nine years in the US colonial-style wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, with General Billy Bob Warthog candidly informing one reporter from the Warmongers Gazette “We now must face the unintended consequences of leading a fucked up expeditionary Army that included involuntary enlistment extensions, accelerated promotions, extended deployment rotations, reduced dwell time and potentially diverted focus from leading and caring for soldiers who, have been pushed to their breaking point and are now total basket cases.”
“No shit, the only reason these guys are staying in Afghanistan is because the opium’s free and goat sex isn’t a crime.”
Among the more startling psychiatric evaluations and conclusions contained in the report is that the rising suicide and accidental death rates are closely bound up with a growing use of drugs, both prescribed and illegal.
The drug epidemic has been fuelled by active duty soldiers dealing with pain, depression, pre-menstrual tension, transgender sexual identity conflicts, and other forms of mental anguish stemming, in many cases, from their exposure to killing and violence in Iraq and Afghanistan and learning from their disillusioned chaplain that there is no God and they won’t be going to Heaven.
Drugs also have played a substantial role in the skyrocketing of criminal activity among soldiers. In 2009 soldiers were reported to have committed over 50,000 misdemeanour criminal offences, compared to 28,000 five years earlier.
The most common offences were motor vehicle related, including drunk driving cases, speeding and road fatalities, which have increased by 166% since 2004. The next largest category was soldiers going absent without leave (AWOL) or deserting, which has more than doubled (234%) over the last five years.
Conversely, topping the list were offences of a sexual nature which have quadrupled with quadrupeds – and committed while intoxicated or drugged up -with randy troopers driven to distraction to find out what Afghan women actually wear under their burkas – or forgoing acts of human rape - being caught ‘in flagrante delicto’ stuck up the arse end of a goat.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Thought for the day: Fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Teflon Don Murder Charges Dropped – Again
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A wealthy businessman dubbed with the dubious honorific of the ‘Teflon Dork’ after being cleared of several previous horrific gangland killings, where the cadavers were discovered with their heads ripped off and shoved up their own arseholes, has been freed yet again when this latest charge of murder was - unsurprisingly - dropped yesterday after the accused entered a plea of self-defence.
Ghengis McScumm, 40, a former tomcat strangler, was arrested in February this year after arch criminal drug dealer Willy ‘Wotde’ Wotdefuck, 36, of neighbouring Scallyford Hamlets in Longshite, was found dead, nailed to the wall of the torture chamber feature in the dungeon themed cellars of McScumm’s luxurious £20 zillion quid Cheshire mansion at Alderley Edge.
McScumm, who is reputedly worth what banksters refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’ has denied coercing the Director of Public Prosecutions, police officials and key witnesses with bribes and threats of violence to have the charges against him minimised or dropped completely, and now intends to sue the Plod Squad for false arrest and defamation of character – actions he claims have resulted in him suffering from acute paranioa and a dimished sense of self-esteem.
McScumm – who survived an attempt on his life while at Snotport's infamous Reefer & Hemp Club bar on New Years Day in 2009 due wearing his best Kevlar tuxedo - was released from custody to return to his home in the leafy town of Alderley Edge - known as 'Millionaires' Row' - where top rank career criminals rub shoulders with overpaid Premiership footballers and equally overpaid TV soap stars who pose as actors.
His barrister Sir Mortimer Wankrat QC stated in defence that “Mr Wotde Wotdefuck came banging on McScumm’s front door with a 14lb sledge hammer and was kitted out with body armour and intent on violence towards my client.”
“Even a man who has been wrongly accused of murder by the police several times previously is entitled to defend himself if a known villain comes to his house armed to the teeth with an assault rifle and fixed bayonet - and only gained entry after informing the Sri Lankan housemaid he was there to read the gas meter.”
“Once inside the house he went directly to the basement spa’s gym and sauna area which also houses my client’s BD/SM adult playroom where he commenced an unprovoked attack on Mr McScumm who was engaged in a session of target practice with his new ‘Gatling Rapid Fire’ nail gun at the time – a recent wedding anniversary present from his wife. After narrowly avoiding one bayonet charge my client was fortunate enough in managing to nail Mr Wotdefuck’s hands to the wall to prevent futher provacation while he phoned the police to report the assault and request assisstance.”
“However - and unfortunately - in the confusion and ensuing struggle several nails were hammered into Mr Wotdefuck’s head by accident which resulted in him being hospitalised after the local fire brigade pried him loose with crowbars and a claw hammer.”
In 1996 McScumm was acquitted of the gangland murder of drug baron Chris Thugg - dubbed the Devil Dog Mobster because he set his pack of rabid Snottweilers on rivals.
Thugg, 32, was shot dead at the wheel of his armoured Bradley limousine with a 105 mm Hashim-32 RPG - however McScumm was cleared of the murder after his henchmen informing the relatives of the jury members that their entire families would be snuffed if they found him guilty of the killing.
In 2002 McScumm stood trial accused of murder yet again - this time on charges he had kidnapped and burnt to death drug dealer Donny Knobhead on his mansion’s barbeque - then eaten one of his legs with a baked potato and babyleaf salad. The autopsy report revealed that Knobhead has been forced to drink a gallon of chiilied marinade before being cooked alive.
During that trial the jurors were informed that McScumm – who has a bed shaped like a pirate ship complete with masts and sails, an anchor, cannons and a parrot named ‘Captain Scally’ – and boasted that was where he gave his harem of Eastern European concubines a ‘Jolly Rogering’ - had built an empire through ruthless violence, demanding respect and loyalty from all those who worked for him – including the police and juries.'
They heard that besides protection rackets and a vast drug dealing network, McScumm operated the chain of notorious ‘Rug & Tug Happy Ending’ massage salons spread across the Greater Manchester area, run by celebrity bordello madam Beverly Titwank.
The case against him - and other barbeque guests accused of cannibalism - collapsed when it was revealed police had failed to pass on important information about another possible suspect that circumstantial evidence implicated in the case as the principle antagonist – a certain Mr Wiley T. Coyote.
McScumm, nicknamed 'TWAT 1' on the registration plate of his Chobham-plated and diamond-studded Bentley-Humvee Turbo, has always denied he is the Godfather to a criminal empire and claimed that Jobcentre Plus officials in cohorts with Revenue Service agents and the Greater Manchester Plod Squad were involved in a campaign to get him at all costs and confiscate his hard-earned National Lotto winnings under the pretext of ‘seizing criminal assets’.
Do you live in the Alderley Edge area? Have you ever been arrested by Greater Manchester’s elite Plod Squad for mass murder? How much did it cost to get the charges downgraded to self-defence? Does having the murder of twelve good men and true on your conscience ever bother you? Is bribing a jury a sound investment in this recession-hit financial climate? How does your accountant process and classify monthly pay-offs to ranking police officials - as 'bribes' or 'facilitation fees'?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win your very own Home Office approved ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card.
A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your new name and location handed out under the witness protection programme, so rival gang members can come round and torch your house and kidnap your bairns to sell into sex slavery.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
A wealthy businessman dubbed with the dubious honorific of the ‘Teflon Dork’ after being cleared of several previous horrific gangland killings, where the cadavers were discovered with their heads ripped off and shoved up their own arseholes, has been freed yet again when this latest charge of murder was - unsurprisingly - dropped yesterday after the accused entered a plea of self-defence.
Ghengis McScumm, 40, a former tomcat strangler, was arrested in February this year after arch criminal drug dealer Willy ‘Wotde’ Wotdefuck, 36, of neighbouring Scallyford Hamlets in Longshite, was found dead, nailed to the wall of the torture chamber feature in the dungeon themed cellars of McScumm’s luxurious £20 zillion quid Cheshire mansion at Alderley Edge.
McScumm, who is reputedly worth what banksters refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’ has denied coercing the Director of Public Prosecutions, police officials and key witnesses with bribes and threats of violence to have the charges against him minimised or dropped completely, and now intends to sue the Plod Squad for false arrest and defamation of character – actions he claims have resulted in him suffering from acute paranioa and a dimished sense of self-esteem.
McScumm – who survived an attempt on his life while at Snotport's infamous Reefer & Hemp Club bar on New Years Day in 2009 due wearing his best Kevlar tuxedo - was released from custody to return to his home in the leafy town of Alderley Edge - known as 'Millionaires' Row' - where top rank career criminals rub shoulders with overpaid Premiership footballers and equally overpaid TV soap stars who pose as actors.
His barrister Sir Mortimer Wankrat QC stated in defence that “Mr Wotde Wotdefuck came banging on McScumm’s front door with a 14lb sledge hammer and was kitted out with body armour and intent on violence towards my client.”
“Even a man who has been wrongly accused of murder by the police several times previously is entitled to defend himself if a known villain comes to his house armed to the teeth with an assault rifle and fixed bayonet - and only gained entry after informing the Sri Lankan housemaid he was there to read the gas meter.”
“Once inside the house he went directly to the basement spa’s gym and sauna area which also houses my client’s BD/SM adult playroom where he commenced an unprovoked attack on Mr McScumm who was engaged in a session of target practice with his new ‘Gatling Rapid Fire’ nail gun at the time – a recent wedding anniversary present from his wife. After narrowly avoiding one bayonet charge my client was fortunate enough in managing to nail Mr Wotdefuck’s hands to the wall to prevent futher provacation while he phoned the police to report the assault and request assisstance.”
“However - and unfortunately - in the confusion and ensuing struggle several nails were hammered into Mr Wotdefuck’s head by accident which resulted in him being hospitalised after the local fire brigade pried him loose with crowbars and a claw hammer.”
In 1996 McScumm was acquitted of the gangland murder of drug baron Chris Thugg - dubbed the Devil Dog Mobster because he set his pack of rabid Snottweilers on rivals.
Thugg, 32, was shot dead at the wheel of his armoured Bradley limousine with a 105 mm Hashim-32 RPG - however McScumm was cleared of the murder after his henchmen informing the relatives of the jury members that their entire families would be snuffed if they found him guilty of the killing.
In 2002 McScumm stood trial accused of murder yet again - this time on charges he had kidnapped and burnt to death drug dealer Donny Knobhead on his mansion’s barbeque - then eaten one of his legs with a baked potato and babyleaf salad. The autopsy report revealed that Knobhead has been forced to drink a gallon of chiilied marinade before being cooked alive.
During that trial the jurors were informed that McScumm – who has a bed shaped like a pirate ship complete with masts and sails, an anchor, cannons and a parrot named ‘Captain Scally’ – and boasted that was where he gave his harem of Eastern European concubines a ‘Jolly Rogering’ - had built an empire through ruthless violence, demanding respect and loyalty from all those who worked for him – including the police and juries.'
They heard that besides protection rackets and a vast drug dealing network, McScumm operated the chain of notorious ‘Rug & Tug Happy Ending’ massage salons spread across the Greater Manchester area, run by celebrity bordello madam Beverly Titwank.
The case against him - and other barbeque guests accused of cannibalism - collapsed when it was revealed police had failed to pass on important information about another possible suspect that circumstantial evidence implicated in the case as the principle antagonist – a certain Mr Wiley T. Coyote.
McScumm, nicknamed 'TWAT 1' on the registration plate of his Chobham-plated and diamond-studded Bentley-Humvee Turbo, has always denied he is the Godfather to a criminal empire and claimed that Jobcentre Plus officials in cohorts with Revenue Service agents and the Greater Manchester Plod Squad were involved in a campaign to get him at all costs and confiscate his hard-earned National Lotto winnings under the pretext of ‘seizing criminal assets’.
Do you live in the Alderley Edge area? Have you ever been arrested by Greater Manchester’s elite Plod Squad for mass murder? How much did it cost to get the charges downgraded to self-defence? Does having the murder of twelve good men and true on your conscience ever bother you? Is bribing a jury a sound investment in this recession-hit financial climate? How does your accountant process and classify monthly pay-offs to ranking police officials - as 'bribes' or 'facilitation fees'?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win your very own Home Office approved ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card.
A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your new name and location handed out under the witness protection programme, so rival gang members can come round and torch your house and kidnap your bairns to sell into sex slavery.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Monday, 2 August 2010
Weather Belies Global Warming Scam
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Well, thanks to the Climategate e-mail scandal and the fact the Copenhagen Summit got snowed in by the coldest weather to hit Denmark since the last Ice Age, the anthropogenic global warming scam cat got outa the bag and it ain’t gonna go back in – well not without a lot of scratching and fur flying. Yet that is precisely what the Mammon-worshipping banksters and other greedy grasping parties of self-interest are currently attempting in an effort to get their fantasy money-spinning carbon credits cap n trade exchange programme back on track.
Oh yes, and the wholly illogical target is, yet again, to rid the known Universe of anthropogenic greenhouse gas emissions – specifically CO2 - the stuff we breathe out and ‘all’ plant life on the Planet Earth needs to survive, grow and thrive – and consequently, in return, exhale oxygen, which we need to ‘live’.
Prominent NASA global warming alarmist and Chicken Little look-alike Professor Billy Bob Dorkenstein – Barky O’Barmy’s chief adviser on environment policy who recently informed one reporter from the Apocalypse Gazette that industrial civilization should be obliterated - has now endorsed an eco-fascist book that calls for cities to be razed to the ground, industrial civilization destroyed and genocidal population reduction measures of mass extermination ratios expedited via man-made designer plagues – such as Super-AIDS or Morgellon’s Disease or Sneezy Pig Flu virus - to be implemented in the name of preventing global warming and saving the planet for the elitist ruling scum – with sweet fuck all left for the meek to inherit.
Dorkenstein is a key figure in the global warming movement, for it was his 1988 testimony to a US Senate committee chaired by Al Bore that really got the ball rolling for the Jew World Order elitist’s mission to hijack the environmental movement and promote apocalyptic fears of devastating climate change as a means of seizing absolute power over humanity.
Oh yes, that him, warts and all. Dorkenstein, a bloke who personally believes that U.S. Middle East policy ought to be based on his Rabbi’s interpretation of the Torah’s prophecies and labours to achieve the aims of the ‘forged’ Protocols of the Elders of Zion for his kikester bosses, was back in the news this week giving his spin version of a concocted NASA press release claiming the last decade was the warmest on record (in Chad).
He further stated that Dr Irwin Fuctifino, the author of yet another apocalyptic book - titled “We’re All Fucked” - is correct in calling for acts of sabotage and environmental terrorism in putting the torch to factories and power stations, blasting holes in dams and deserting the cities in order to return the planet to the ‘Agrarian Age’ – a bit like Pot Pot and his Insta-Noodles Bonkers Party did in Cambodia – which turned into a total fuck up with 3 million (half the population) dead.
So, per the aims of this vaunted ‘Utopia’, has anyone ever lived in a remote area of the Earth where the luxuries of civilization aren’t readily available and at best a couple of day’s hike down a mountain and along a croc’-infested river of rapids – on foot? Civilisation – just the bare necessities. Electricity and night-time lighting – and refrigeration. A & E clinics and pharmacies and medicines – and dentists. Instant communications via SSB radio. Food you don’t have to hunt and kill yourself – or climb a fucking tree to get at – or plant in the grounds and wait six months for it to grow.
Hmmm, this is the dubious control freak Utopia the likes of Messrs Dorkenstein and Fuctifino want for us all – well, the one’s that survive their proposed wars and global pandemics and population culls. The one’s spared to bury – or resomate –or perhaps compost - the 6 billion bodies the Illuminati will have snuffed so they can grab a few acres more Lebensraum apiece.
Yep, the Agrarian Age – and the only good things in its favour – the redeeming factors of no tellys or cellphones or video games. As for the negatives - perhaps too numerous to mention – apart from the fact the actual ‘toilers’ had a life expectancy of 45. Toothless by 25, impotent by 35, senile by 40, and in a box a few years after that.
Professor Billy Bob Dorkenstein and Dr Irwin Fuctifino - and too that other shit-for-brains psychopathic twat - the slack-jawed dribbling Sir Jonathon Espie Porritt – who maintain, in their unqualified arrogance and without a second glance in the mirror to re-evaluate their position - that mankind is a blot on the landscape and the existence of the common human herd should be culled to a few million to act as serfs – hewers of hay and water, cutters of wood, keepers of sheep – to serve the elitist rulers – the Masters of the Universe – or so they think.
The world’s parasitic Monarchies who rule by Divine Right, the Bilderbergers, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Committee of 300 (no, not the fucking Spartans at Thermopylae), the Round Table, the faggot Ivy League hordes of Bohemian Grove scumsters, the human herd-culling eugenicist membership of the Club of Rome, the kiddie fiddling Freemasons and Jesuits and Opus Dei and similar think tanks and private clubs, etc et al.
All are synarchists conspiring to create a totalitarian New World Order and the implementation of a bureaucratic collectivist world government through a strengthened United Nations and a global central bank to force the survivors of humanity’s cull, by force of arms (or mood-conditioning microchips) into permanent slavery.
Dorkenstein, Fuctifino and the laughable Porritt simply echo the genocidal sentiments of Barky O’Barmy’s White House science czar John Holdren and his squirly racist Ecoscience textbook, which calls for a New World Order planetary regime to carry out forced abortions and mandatory sterilization procedures, chemtrails spreading Morgellon’s, as well as drugging the water supply (fluoridisation / lithium) in an effort to cull the human surplus. Plus their burgeoning illegal foreign wars of aggression.
Yep, they collectively, along with the likes of eugenics proponents Dumpy David Rockefeller and the prune-faced Henry Kissinger (what a pair of incontinent old wrinklies well past their use-by dates) - desire to see rampant population reduction in the name of saving the planet. Hopefully their contribution will be to set a good example and step up first to the line for the ‘chop’.
Ah well, as long as 99% of humanity continues to operate according to the dictates of its stomach and sex organs there exists a confounding glitch in the perceptions of mass human consciousness that derails their understanding of what the fuck is actually going on in the world and works to their collective detriment.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Well, thanks to the Climategate e-mail scandal and the fact the Copenhagen Summit got snowed in by the coldest weather to hit Denmark since the last Ice Age, the anthropogenic global warming scam cat got outa the bag and it ain’t gonna go back in – well not without a lot of scratching and fur flying. Yet that is precisely what the Mammon-worshipping banksters and other greedy grasping parties of self-interest are currently attempting in an effort to get their fantasy money-spinning carbon credits cap n trade exchange programme back on track.
Oh yes, and the wholly illogical target is, yet again, to rid the known Universe of anthropogenic greenhouse gas emissions – specifically CO2 - the stuff we breathe out and ‘all’ plant life on the Planet Earth needs to survive, grow and thrive – and consequently, in return, exhale oxygen, which we need to ‘live’.
Prominent NASA global warming alarmist and Chicken Little look-alike Professor Billy Bob Dorkenstein – Barky O’Barmy’s chief adviser on environment policy who recently informed one reporter from the Apocalypse Gazette that industrial civilization should be obliterated - has now endorsed an eco-fascist book that calls for cities to be razed to the ground, industrial civilization destroyed and genocidal population reduction measures of mass extermination ratios expedited via man-made designer plagues – such as Super-AIDS or Morgellon’s Disease or Sneezy Pig Flu virus - to be implemented in the name of preventing global warming and saving the planet for the elitist ruling scum – with sweet fuck all left for the meek to inherit.
Dorkenstein is a key figure in the global warming movement, for it was his 1988 testimony to a US Senate committee chaired by Al Bore that really got the ball rolling for the Jew World Order elitist’s mission to hijack the environmental movement and promote apocalyptic fears of devastating climate change as a means of seizing absolute power over humanity.
Oh yes, that him, warts and all. Dorkenstein, a bloke who personally believes that U.S. Middle East policy ought to be based on his Rabbi’s interpretation of the Torah’s prophecies and labours to achieve the aims of the ‘forged’ Protocols of the Elders of Zion for his kikester bosses, was back in the news this week giving his spin version of a concocted NASA press release claiming the last decade was the warmest on record (in Chad).
He further stated that Dr Irwin Fuctifino, the author of yet another apocalyptic book - titled “We’re All Fucked” - is correct in calling for acts of sabotage and environmental terrorism in putting the torch to factories and power stations, blasting holes in dams and deserting the cities in order to return the planet to the ‘Agrarian Age’ – a bit like Pot Pot and his Insta-Noodles Bonkers Party did in Cambodia – which turned into a total fuck up with 3 million (half the population) dead.
So, per the aims of this vaunted ‘Utopia’, has anyone ever lived in a remote area of the Earth where the luxuries of civilization aren’t readily available and at best a couple of day’s hike down a mountain and along a croc’-infested river of rapids – on foot? Civilisation – just the bare necessities. Electricity and night-time lighting – and refrigeration. A & E clinics and pharmacies and medicines – and dentists. Instant communications via SSB radio. Food you don’t have to hunt and kill yourself – or climb a fucking tree to get at – or plant in the grounds and wait six months for it to grow.
Hmmm, this is the dubious control freak Utopia the likes of Messrs Dorkenstein and Fuctifino want for us all – well, the one’s that survive their proposed wars and global pandemics and population culls. The one’s spared to bury – or resomate –or perhaps compost - the 6 billion bodies the Illuminati will have snuffed so they can grab a few acres more Lebensraum apiece.
Yep, the Agrarian Age – and the only good things in its favour – the redeeming factors of no tellys or cellphones or video games. As for the negatives - perhaps too numerous to mention – apart from the fact the actual ‘toilers’ had a life expectancy of 45. Toothless by 25, impotent by 35, senile by 40, and in a box a few years after that.
Professor Billy Bob Dorkenstein and Dr Irwin Fuctifino - and too that other shit-for-brains psychopathic twat - the slack-jawed dribbling Sir Jonathon Espie Porritt – who maintain, in their unqualified arrogance and without a second glance in the mirror to re-evaluate their position - that mankind is a blot on the landscape and the existence of the common human herd should be culled to a few million to act as serfs – hewers of hay and water, cutters of wood, keepers of sheep – to serve the elitist rulers – the Masters of the Universe – or so they think.
The world’s parasitic Monarchies who rule by Divine Right, the Bilderbergers, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Committee of 300 (no, not the fucking Spartans at Thermopylae), the Round Table, the faggot Ivy League hordes of Bohemian Grove scumsters, the human herd-culling eugenicist membership of the Club of Rome, the kiddie fiddling Freemasons and Jesuits and Opus Dei and similar think tanks and private clubs, etc et al.
All are synarchists conspiring to create a totalitarian New World Order and the implementation of a bureaucratic collectivist world government through a strengthened United Nations and a global central bank to force the survivors of humanity’s cull, by force of arms (or mood-conditioning microchips) into permanent slavery.
Dorkenstein, Fuctifino and the laughable Porritt simply echo the genocidal sentiments of Barky O’Barmy’s White House science czar John Holdren and his squirly racist Ecoscience textbook, which calls for a New World Order planetary regime to carry out forced abortions and mandatory sterilization procedures, chemtrails spreading Morgellon’s, as well as drugging the water supply (fluoridisation / lithium) in an effort to cull the human surplus. Plus their burgeoning illegal foreign wars of aggression.
Yep, they collectively, along with the likes of eugenics proponents Dumpy David Rockefeller and the prune-faced Henry Kissinger (what a pair of incontinent old wrinklies well past their use-by dates) - desire to see rampant population reduction in the name of saving the planet. Hopefully their contribution will be to set a good example and step up first to the line for the ‘chop’.
Ah well, as long as 99% of humanity continues to operate according to the dictates of its stomach and sex organs there exists a confounding glitch in the perceptions of mass human consciousness that derails their understanding of what the fuck is actually going on in the world and works to their collective detriment.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Tory Tosspot Launches Burka Ban
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A Conservative MP who recently launched a bid to ban Muslim women (and transvestite males) from wearing burkas and niqabs in public today informed an interviewer from Channel 69’s ‘Racist Scumbags’ programme that he refuses to talk to veiled women – unless such is being worn by his bum-spanking Dutch dominatrix Mistress Fellattia van der Gamm during their weekly BD/SM theme play scenarios.
Philip Hollowbone, the 96-year old incumbent Tory MP for Twatford-on-the-Wold, has tabled a private members bill to ban what he personally terms ‘certain objectionable face coverings’ being worn in public and provides an in-depth explanation of his personal psychotic disapproval to the burka.
MP Hollowbone, whom Parliamentary associates and political critics alike describe as a man who doesn’t attract nor win friends easily but manages to alienate people and make enemies at a geometric rate, has apparently jumped on the Brussels EUSSR bandwagon to follow in France and Belgium’s footsteps of religious and cultural intolerance of banning burkas and niqabs in public.
The ban on Islamic veils in all public places is expected to be passed by France's lower house of Parliament and this novel offence would carry a 150 euro fine and in some cases mandatory citizenship classes - following a similar vote for a ban in Belgium's Parliament.
The radical MP claims he will refuse to talk with any person wearing a burkah or niqab face covering that comes to his electorate surgery due a personal conflict of attempting to converse with people if he can’t see their faces – then adding that he would invite those who did not remove their veil to communicate in a different way, such as by letter or e-mail or semaphore or even pigeon post – and to accommodate the needs of marginalised ethnic groups from his Twatford-on-the-Wold constituency’s Cherokee Housing Estate - even via the medium of carbon-friendly smoke signals.
Conversely, lawyers for the racial pressure group ‘Shit-Stirrers-R-Us’ last week wrote to Hollowbone advising that the Equality Act obliges him to avoid discrimination in any shape or form – which simply prompted the bi-polar MP to declare if that was the case then he wasn’t going to speak to anyone.
His comments were criticised by Muslim groups, and the idea of a ban has been dismissed by government ministers as "Not really British and most definitely not cricket" – further being unhelpful to Muslim women who wear the burka or niqab to conceal situations of fucked up dentistry or the facts they’re afflicted by blights of facial hair – or chronic halitosis.
Immigration minister Chlamydia Mingerot informed Pox News that banning the full Islamic veil in public would be "at odds with the UK's tolerant ‘Democratic’ society which still permits disgruntled and radical Muslims (self-harming variety) to detonate backpack suicide bombs on the public transport system.
“Seriously, if we venture one single step down this road with Mr Hollowbone’s intended policy, as per that being enforced by our cheese-eating surrender monkey neighbours in France and Belgium, than what comes next? A ban on the religious wimples of Catholic nuns? A ban on yobs and scallies wearing their hoodies?”
“Really, this will doubtless be supplemented with a ban on the 22nd SAS wearing black ski masks the next time they have to storm the Iranian Embassy.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
A Conservative MP who recently launched a bid to ban Muslim women (and transvestite males) from wearing burkas and niqabs in public today informed an interviewer from Channel 69’s ‘Racist Scumbags’ programme that he refuses to talk to veiled women – unless such is being worn by his bum-spanking Dutch dominatrix Mistress Fellattia van der Gamm during their weekly BD/SM theme play scenarios.
Philip Hollowbone, the 96-year old incumbent Tory MP for Twatford-on-the-Wold, has tabled a private members bill to ban what he personally terms ‘certain objectionable face coverings’ being worn in public and provides an in-depth explanation of his personal psychotic disapproval to the burka.
MP Hollowbone, whom Parliamentary associates and political critics alike describe as a man who doesn’t attract nor win friends easily but manages to alienate people and make enemies at a geometric rate, has apparently jumped on the Brussels EUSSR bandwagon to follow in France and Belgium’s footsteps of religious and cultural intolerance of banning burkas and niqabs in public.
The ban on Islamic veils in all public places is expected to be passed by France's lower house of Parliament and this novel offence would carry a 150 euro fine and in some cases mandatory citizenship classes - following a similar vote for a ban in Belgium's Parliament.
The radical MP claims he will refuse to talk with any person wearing a burkah or niqab face covering that comes to his electorate surgery due a personal conflict of attempting to converse with people if he can’t see their faces – then adding that he would invite those who did not remove their veil to communicate in a different way, such as by letter or e-mail or semaphore or even pigeon post – and to accommodate the needs of marginalised ethnic groups from his Twatford-on-the-Wold constituency’s Cherokee Housing Estate - even via the medium of carbon-friendly smoke signals.
Conversely, lawyers for the racial pressure group ‘Shit-Stirrers-R-Us’ last week wrote to Hollowbone advising that the Equality Act obliges him to avoid discrimination in any shape or form – which simply prompted the bi-polar MP to declare if that was the case then he wasn’t going to speak to anyone.
His comments were criticised by Muslim groups, and the idea of a ban has been dismissed by government ministers as "Not really British and most definitely not cricket" – further being unhelpful to Muslim women who wear the burka or niqab to conceal situations of fucked up dentistry or the facts they’re afflicted by blights of facial hair – or chronic halitosis.
Immigration minister Chlamydia Mingerot informed Pox News that banning the full Islamic veil in public would be "at odds with the UK's tolerant ‘Democratic’ society which still permits disgruntled and radical Muslims (self-harming variety) to detonate backpack suicide bombs on the public transport system.
“Seriously, if we venture one single step down this road with Mr Hollowbone’s intended policy, as per that being enforced by our cheese-eating surrender monkey neighbours in France and Belgium, than what comes next? A ban on the religious wimples of Catholic nuns? A ban on yobs and scallies wearing their hoodies?”
“Really, this will doubtless be supplemented with a ban on the 22nd SAS wearing black ski masks the next time they have to storm the Iranian Embassy.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Dirty Deals Hit Dorset NHS Trusts
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The recent publication of Dorset County Hospital Trust's annual report reveals that a certain Mr Derek Leech was paid £248,041 for 97 days work plus £19,539 in travel and food expenses – with the hospital trust blatantly defending this bloated remuneration of £2,557 a day to its interim chief executive officer while trying to cut £20 million quid from its current 2010/2011 budget.
Candida Quimrot, a DCH Trust whistleblower working for Ox-Rat, the snitch and grassers charity, told one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette that immigrant staff from across Eastern Europe sweating their bollocks off for a minimum wage at the hospital might well be reduced to a collective state of ‘shock and awe’ at the outrageous disparity in their salaries.
However the Hospital Trust’s interim chairman Dr Jeffrey Greedstein, on loan from the Bottomfeeders SA quango, claimed a predicted budget deficit of £17 million quid for 2011/12 had been reduced to "break even" since Mr Leech’s appointment – which placed the huge daily rate spending into context as half the Trust staff now faced a ten year wage freeze - plus a 25% reduction in nurses.
Further, on the subject of exorbitant salaries and daily contract rates lavished with copious garnishings of expenses, the Trust also spent £1,230 per day on their interim "turnaround director" James Shitto of Jobsworths for 90 days work, with £8,802 in expenses piled on top like a Walls 99 triple scoop ice cream cone with hundreds and thousands (of £££ pounds).
Interim director of finance Terry Wanker from Parasites Consulting cost £1,194 a day for 158 days work, with an extra £16,755 in expenses.
Meanwhile interim director of human resources Tracey Scumm was paid £663 a day for 174 days work, with an extra £4,040 expenses – simply for sitting on her fat arse, painting her fingernails and using a Suduko computer programme to randomly select which of the Trust staff to fire first.
Conversely Sapphie Dildodo, regional head of health at Unison, told Fux News "The idea that you pay a manager £2,557 a day when the hospital is desperate to save money is ludicrous – then claiming an extra £20,000 in expenses is adding insult to injury.”
"Most nurses earn around £1,800 a month gross and to see someone earning hundreds of pounds more than that for just one day would even make a big brown dog spew."
“Dr Jeffrey Greedstein might well attempt to justify these exorbitant daily rates and expenses with disingenuous explanations. Conversely in our opinion, within the English lexicon of 250,000-plus words indexed there is no single one to accurately describe him – however the word CUNT does come reasonably close.”
Meanwhile plans to axe up to 200 staff at the hospital were shelved in February when said staff got fed up with the Trust’s ‘shagging the cat’ attitude and buggered off back to their respective ex-Eastern bloc shitholes in Europe – with a veritable horde of hospital patients going along too.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
The recent publication of Dorset County Hospital Trust's annual report reveals that a certain Mr Derek Leech was paid £248,041 for 97 days work plus £19,539 in travel and food expenses – with the hospital trust blatantly defending this bloated remuneration of £2,557 a day to its interim chief executive officer while trying to cut £20 million quid from its current 2010/2011 budget.
Candida Quimrot, a DCH Trust whistleblower working for Ox-Rat, the snitch and grassers charity, told one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette that immigrant staff from across Eastern Europe sweating their bollocks off for a minimum wage at the hospital might well be reduced to a collective state of ‘shock and awe’ at the outrageous disparity in their salaries.
However the Hospital Trust’s interim chairman Dr Jeffrey Greedstein, on loan from the Bottomfeeders SA quango, claimed a predicted budget deficit of £17 million quid for 2011/12 had been reduced to "break even" since Mr Leech’s appointment – which placed the huge daily rate spending into context as half the Trust staff now faced a ten year wage freeze - plus a 25% reduction in nurses.
Further, on the subject of exorbitant salaries and daily contract rates lavished with copious garnishings of expenses, the Trust also spent £1,230 per day on their interim "turnaround director" James Shitto of Jobsworths for 90 days work, with £8,802 in expenses piled on top like a Walls 99 triple scoop ice cream cone with hundreds and thousands (of £££ pounds).
Interim director of finance Terry Wanker from Parasites Consulting cost £1,194 a day for 158 days work, with an extra £16,755 in expenses.
Meanwhile interim director of human resources Tracey Scumm was paid £663 a day for 174 days work, with an extra £4,040 expenses – simply for sitting on her fat arse, painting her fingernails and using a Suduko computer programme to randomly select which of the Trust staff to fire first.
Conversely Sapphie Dildodo, regional head of health at Unison, told Fux News "The idea that you pay a manager £2,557 a day when the hospital is desperate to save money is ludicrous – then claiming an extra £20,000 in expenses is adding insult to injury.”
"Most nurses earn around £1,800 a month gross and to see someone earning hundreds of pounds more than that for just one day would even make a big brown dog spew."
“Dr Jeffrey Greedstein might well attempt to justify these exorbitant daily rates and expenses with disingenuous explanations. Conversely in our opinion, within the English lexicon of 250,000-plus words indexed there is no single one to accurately describe him – however the word CUNT does come reasonably close.”
Meanwhile plans to axe up to 200 staff at the hospital were shelved in February when said staff got fed up with the Trust’s ‘shagging the cat’ attitude and buggered off back to their respective ex-Eastern bloc shitholes in Europe – with a veritable horde of hospital patients going along too.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)