In today’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
During a press conference called by the pro-kikester organization ‘Israel Project’, Rep. Seymour Scumberger, the ultra-Zionist Jewish Democrat Congressman of California, informed reporters from the shylock-owned media that he intends to seek the prosecution of any and all U.S. citizens who were aboard or involved with the Freedom Flotilla carrying humanitarian aid to the besieged Palestinian population of the criminally-beleaguered enclave that embosoms the Gaza Strip – now the largest open prison on Earth – surrounded by the Nazi-style ‘Great Apartheid Wall’.
For those readers currently scratching their heads and saying “Que?” this is the self-same aid flotilla that was mercilessly attacked and passenger activists arbitrarily murdered by the trigger-happy brutalists comprising the Israeli assault force – which is obviously forever a danger with any and all ‘peaceful demonstrations’ where Jehovah’s psychotic ‘chosen people’ are concerned - (Ref. the March 2003 edition of the Sub-Humans Gazette story on ‘Rachel Corrie vs the IDF Caterpillar D8 bulldozer’).
Rep. Scumberger - a career AIPAC muppet and apologist for the People of the Covenant - whose primary cultural activity throughout recorded history has been extracting interest from counterfeit money - quoted extracts of the statutes of the AIPAC-inspired ‘Anti-Terrorism and Effective Death Penalty Act 1996’ and the ‘Terrorist Hoax Improvements Act 2007’ which state it is absolutely illegal for any American citizen to give food, money, school supplies, paper clips, concrete or jelly beans to Hamas or any of its officials.
Displaying the customary unqualified arrogance that has long been the benchmark of the Jewish Ubermensch mentality, Scumberger continued his anti-Palestinian diatribe, conflating Hamas and Gaza’s civilian population without distinction. “I shall be demanding the Attorney General prosecute any American involved in what was clearly an effort to give items of value to a terrorist organization – specifically building materials to Hamas – which included bricks – the same type Palestinian children use to throw at the poor IDF troops who are only armed with Uzis.”
Scumberger further stated he plans on demanding the Department of Homeland Security ensure that all non-U.S. citizens involved with or aboard the Gaza Freedom Flotilla are barred from entering the U.S. of AIPAC.
Hamas, considered a foreign terrorist organization by the shylock-controlled U.S. State Department, won the Palestinian parliamentary elections in 2006 and has held de facto rule over the Gaza Strip since it took the area by force in 2007 in anticipation of an impending Israeli / US backed coup d’etat by the rival toadyish Fatah faction now posing as the government of the occupied West Bank.
Regardless of the dozens killed and wounded – and thrown overboard as shark bait by the IDF barbarians attacking the Freedom Flotilla - Rep Scumberger dispensed lavish measures of brazen hubris in criticizing the US Barky O’Barmy administration for not directly blaming Hamas – applying the faulty logic that the militant movement has brought the blockade on itself.
The illegal blockade and the land siege (by Israel and their craven Egyptian puppets) – plus the 30-foot high Great Apartheid Wall - have, by international consensus (obviously excluding Israel and their pro-Zionist American White House backers) caused a humanitarian crisis among Gaza’s civilian population.
Questions concerning the legality of the Israeli blockade and its enforcement in international waters were dismissed by Scumberger who, once again with no regard for reasoning nor logic – stated for the record that the U.S. had itself blockaded Germany in both World Wars, Japan in the Second, Cuba during the missile crisis, and, curiously, the Confederacy during the Civil War.
Hmmm, obviously the irony escapes the blinkered mindset of Rep Scumberger that he is now reduced to applying references to a 150-year old conflict to justify the criminal military actions of the mad dog Israeli Defence Force.
However, such is the kikester’s habitual disregard for laws of any kind – international or otherwise – unless they are the offended party and litigating from their customary standpoint as ‘victims’ against what they incorrectly term ‘anti-Semitism’ and Holohoax denial.
To round off his paranoid party piece and distract attention from the Knesset and the IDF’s criminal actions, Scumberger announced with equally faulty dialectic that all of Israel’s problems are connected to Iran’s nuclear program, which he alleged is aimed at nuclear weapons of mass distraction.
“Just you watch, if Iran acquires a nuclear device then the U.S. itself will be in danger as you could smuggle one into the States in a bale of bullshit.”
(Yep, quite true – just like the Israeli psychopaths did with the false flag micro-nuke bomb they detonated in the monsoon drain outside the Sari Club at Kuta Beach in Bali in 2002)
“What really matters is the Iranian nuclear program and we have a short amount of time to stop that program,” Scumberger pontificated “And our failure to take drastic action to stop that program could force Israel to execute a resolution far more controversial than what they’ve done this week by just murdering a couple of dozen whingeing do-gooders messing around on boats – such as a pre-emptive nuclear strike on Tehran.”
Well, there’s a pretty piece of political spin for you. It was the Gaza Freedom Flotilla’s own fault – with perhaps even Hamas more to blame for being the democratically-elected government of the Gaza Strip.
So, will international condemnation of Israel’s rogue criminal actions result in any form of ‘sanctions’ or judicial stricture or prosecutions? Doubtful. Same as the 2008/2009 festive season ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker and their Dog’ psychopathic military assaults by the IDF on the civilian population of Gaza - and the UN-generated Goldstone Report condemning their actions – which the US refused to sign - and the Knesset wiped their arse on.
Obviously the outlaw pariah State of Israel is above the laws of common decency – and we even have the new UK government proposing to amend the protocols governing the issuance of international arrest warrants so the Israeli war criminals wishing to visit Britain can do so with indemnity and without further fears of being apprehended, charged and prosecuted for their crimes against humanity (ref ex-Knesset Foreign Secretary Tipzy Livid et al).
And that, I’m sorry to say, is how it will remain while 99% of humanity operates according to the dictates of its stomach and sex organs - and suffers from Cognitive Impairment where matters of the Truth are concerned - exhibiting this curious refusal to behave rationally in what seems their own best interest.
Such a pity there exists this confounding glitch in the perceptions of mass human consciousness that derails an understanding of what the fuck is actually going on in the world and hence works to their collective detriment. Humanity, endowed with the facility of logic and reason, prefers folly and thus, in apathy, allows the rogue state of Israel to get away with their continued trespasses and criminality.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Thought for the day: If anyone believes in the concept of Karma, then the Israel sociopaths have the Hammer of the Heavens coming at them big time for their crimes against humanity.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the Rothshite crime family consortium- and their pet project Israel - and the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Monday, 7 June 2010
Why Shrek Turned Green
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
It might come as a shock to children world-wide but Shrek’s skin colour being bright green has nothing to do with eating healthy five-per-day portions of verdant juicy vegetables and fruits or low carbon footprints but the fact he’s been pigging out at McD’s Chew n Spew restaurants and drinking aspartame-laced soda pop out of glasses contaminated with toxic ‘cadmium’.
In response to this looming public relations and personal injury insurance claim disaster the dodgy Barf Burger fast food chain has recalled 12 million drinking glasses promoting the DreamWanks Animation franchise’s new movie – “Gay Shrek Meets the Hulk” - due the painted designs on them containing the toxic metals cadmium and depleted uranium.
The 16 ounce glasses were being sold for £1:50 each and available in four designs depicting the animated film's main characters – with the glasses manufactured and hand painted in the festering sweat shop slums of Abidjan, the main port of the poverty-stricken Ivory Coast in the perennial basket case that constitutes West Africa
Apparently the Granny Chuckabutty’s Fine Glassware factory sourced the cadmium-laced enamel paints from a local landfill site recently re-stocked for the summer season by the infamous international fly tippers cum convicted environmental vandals Trafigura AG of Lucerne, Switzerland - with six thousand tons of assorted toxic wastes from around Europe - including sulphur mercaptans and hydrogen sulphide - and several container loads of depleted uranium-contaminated scrap tanks and armoured personnel carriers from Iraq.
The factory manager, Mr Rastus Chuckabutty (NVQ1 Scavenging) told one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette “Hey de paint maybe toxic some but what other kid on de street am havin’ one of dem glasses wid de big green Shrek ogre on it - and dat sexy-assed Princess Fellattia and de cute Piss in ya Boots cat or de Donkey Kong – an all of dem what do glow in de dark, eh?”
McD's website states it will post online instructions this coming week regarding refunds for the glasses upon presentation of the original receipt – plus which of their Liberian-based corporate attorneys and insurance underwriters to contact if any of the claimant’s children have experienced severe side effects from drinking out of a Shrek souvenier glass – such as damage to the liver, kidneys, lungs, nervous system or brain.
However, instances of hair loss, temporary blindness, bleeding from the ears or gums, and fingernails dropping out are not covered under the terms of the Liberian Legal Code governing corporate criminal liability and indemnity factors.
Regardless of PR spin this is a second strike against the corporation in as many months.
The gospel according to McD’s Keflavic-based sales survey chief Thor Burgersbunn, states that 2010 is not proving to be the best year for the company so far, with them closing down their three franchises in Iceland due factors bearing on the country’s financial crisis making it impossible for the penniless peasants to afford a ‘Happy Meal’ never mind going for the ‘Supersize Me’ option – with the situation further aggravated by the volcanic ash from the erupting Mount Whatafuckup contaminating the mayonnaise storage ponds.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
It might come as a shock to children world-wide but Shrek’s skin colour being bright green has nothing to do with eating healthy five-per-day portions of verdant juicy vegetables and fruits or low carbon footprints but the fact he’s been pigging out at McD’s Chew n Spew restaurants and drinking aspartame-laced soda pop out of glasses contaminated with toxic ‘cadmium’.
In response to this looming public relations and personal injury insurance claim disaster the dodgy Barf Burger fast food chain has recalled 12 million drinking glasses promoting the DreamWanks Animation franchise’s new movie – “Gay Shrek Meets the Hulk” - due the painted designs on them containing the toxic metals cadmium and depleted uranium.
The 16 ounce glasses were being sold for £1:50 each and available in four designs depicting the animated film's main characters – with the glasses manufactured and hand painted in the festering sweat shop slums of Abidjan, the main port of the poverty-stricken Ivory Coast in the perennial basket case that constitutes West Africa
Apparently the Granny Chuckabutty’s Fine Glassware factory sourced the cadmium-laced enamel paints from a local landfill site recently re-stocked for the summer season by the infamous international fly tippers cum convicted environmental vandals Trafigura AG of Lucerne, Switzerland - with six thousand tons of assorted toxic wastes from around Europe - including sulphur mercaptans and hydrogen sulphide - and several container loads of depleted uranium-contaminated scrap tanks and armoured personnel carriers from Iraq.
The factory manager, Mr Rastus Chuckabutty (NVQ1 Scavenging) told one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette “Hey de paint maybe toxic some but what other kid on de street am havin’ one of dem glasses wid de big green Shrek ogre on it - and dat sexy-assed Princess Fellattia and de cute Piss in ya Boots cat or de Donkey Kong – an all of dem what do glow in de dark, eh?”
McD's website states it will post online instructions this coming week regarding refunds for the glasses upon presentation of the original receipt – plus which of their Liberian-based corporate attorneys and insurance underwriters to contact if any of the claimant’s children have experienced severe side effects from drinking out of a Shrek souvenier glass – such as damage to the liver, kidneys, lungs, nervous system or brain.
However, instances of hair loss, temporary blindness, bleeding from the ears or gums, and fingernails dropping out are not covered under the terms of the Liberian Legal Code governing corporate criminal liability and indemnity factors.
Regardless of PR spin this is a second strike against the corporation in as many months.
The gospel according to McD’s Keflavic-based sales survey chief Thor Burgersbunn, states that 2010 is not proving to be the best year for the company so far, with them closing down their three franchises in Iceland due factors bearing on the country’s financial crisis making it impossible for the penniless peasants to afford a ‘Happy Meal’ never mind going for the ‘Supersize Me’ option – with the situation further aggravated by the volcanic ash from the erupting Mount Whatafuckup contaminating the mayonnaise storage ponds.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Sunday, 6 June 2010
US VP Bidet Applauds Gaza Flotilla Attack
In today’s Enhanced Bullshit edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
US Vice President Joe Bidet has told press and media hacks that Israel had an "absolute right" to attack peace activists on the Gaza-bound Freedom Flotilla – even in international waters – to defend the Holy Land from heathen terrorists intent on kicking the usurping kikesters out and returning Palestine to its rightful, historic owners – the Palestinians.
Bidet went one step further down the road to absolute political perdition and international condemnation for his toadying sycophancy by stating for the record that the United States of AIPAC wholly supported an Israeli investigation of the incident by the Knesset’s Ministry of Whitewash & Coverups - similar to South Korea's recent probe into the sinking of one of its warships – er – by one of its own submarines – which would nevertheless be blamed on the hapless Nor-Kor’s.
He also played down any suggestion of a rift between Israel and the United States, declaring for anyone interesting in listening to his pro-Yidster twaddle “No US administration in history has been as up-front and supportive of Israel's security as this administration – especially so as it’s run by pro-Zionists and Shylocks," the Daily Shitraker quoted Bidet as saying as Rahm Emanuel stood behind him, clapping his hands in applause and whispering “Good dog.”
Bidet made the idiotic expression of support for Israel’s criminal chutzpah despite the fact that the attack on the Freedom Flotilla has been strongly condemned across the globe by every fucker and their dog with a social conscience and two moral brain cells still achieving telemetry.
The rogue state Israeli military attacked the Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters in the Mediterranean Sea early on May 31, killing at least 19 people on board the six ships, mostly Turkish nationals, and injuring about 50 others – in a typical cultural display of Jewish welcome.
The kikester criminals further arrested nearly 700 activists from 42 countries on board the Gaza Freedom Flotilla, which was attempting to break the illegal and internationally-condemned three year siege of Gaza in order to deliver humanitarian assistance to the long-suffering people of the territory. Yep, humanitarian aid – wheelchairs, medical supplies - and building materials (bricks) – which the Israelis claim will be used by Hamas for military purposes – ie thrown at the IDF’s thugs.
So, the gospel according to Joe ‘Robinette’ Bidet – a career Zionist and Israeli apologist who Mossad and AIPAC have by the short and curlies for his past perverted sexual indiscretions involving kiddie fiddling, gay bath houses and woolly farm animals - is that "Israel has an absolute right and is wholly justified in their pathological paranoia when dealing with its security interests – even to strike offshore and in international waters – regardless of loss of life or consequences."
A great pity Mr Bidet is a typical red-neck moron and has never studied the vagaries of recorded history concerning that which he elects as permissable miliatry actions.
For instance, the Gleiwitz Incident was a staged attack against the German radio station in Upper Silesia, Germany on the eve of World War Two in Europe that carried the appearance of Polish aggression against Germany and was used by Berlin to justify the subsequent invasion of Poland – and hence the kick-starting of WW2.
The military forces of the Imperial Japanese Army attacked China in 1937 after Kuomintang troops purportedly opened fire on them at the boundary Marco Polo Bridge close to Peking and became the benchmark for the start of the Second Sino-Japanese War (1937–1945).
Both these incidents of course being the precusors to the European and Pacific theatres of the Second World War – hence we ponder if the Gaza Freedom Flotilla assault might be the precursor to World War Three – that the superbly arrogant mad dog Israeli leadership has been chomping on the bit to kick-start
for quite some time – and brought about ‘accidentally’ by the Israeli psychopaths acting in US-approved self-defence.
Ah, what pity the perennially-whingeing Israeli ‘victims’ have such short memories concerning ships trying to breach a blockade – al la the Exodus 1947.
This was a ship carrying Jewish emigrants, that left France on July 11, 1947, with the intent of transporting its passengers to Palestine.
Most of the emigrants were Holohoax ‘survivor’ refugees, who had no legal immigration certificates or visas to enter the sovereign nation of Palestine (soon to be usurped by the greedy kikesters and renamed Israel the following year).
So, that’s the opinion of the Vice President of the United States of Israel – Mr Joe Robinette Bidet – as the Kenyan cuckoo – Barky O’Barmy is keeping pretty schtum on the issue – along with the super-dyke rug-munching Sec’ of Sleaze Hilarious Rodent Clinton.
However the lack of White House comment has opened the doors of infamy for the AIPAC-controlled Congressmen to stake out public positions on the matter and, perhaps predictably, those that have commented have universally praised the killings.
Rep. Gary Weaselberg, the House Foreign Affairs chair, praised the raid, stating he supported Israel’s decision to attack the ship and the decision of the commandos to use deadly force against the aid workers, who he claims were "brutally attacking" them – adding quite moronically that the whole matter was secretly Hamas fault.
Yeah, we know it’s not the Israelis fault - not that it ever is. They simply don’t like the democratically elected government of the sovereign state of Gaza – which just happens to be Hamas.
Well of course they don’t like Hamas – as they stand up for their people’s rights as a government is meant to do– unlike the past Palestinian Authority brown-nosing lickspittle Yessir Marrowfat whom Mossad poisoned – or the current PA leader Mahmoud Abbas in charge over in the equally-beleaguered West Bank occupied territory. Once again it’s just the same old shit with that sycophantic, grovelling and kowtowing twat.
Is he afforded any greater level of humanity, respect and dignity than that totally denied to the Palestinian population of the besieged Gaza Strip? Of course not. Abbas is simply yet another frog who dreams of becoming a toad, whom history shall treat with short shrift and piss on his memory – whereas Gaza’s duly and democratically-elected Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh might succumb to martyrdom but will be remembered as a leader who fought against the jackboot of Israeli aggression.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the Freemasons and their New World Order – and the Rothshite crime syndicate and their kikester’s (Jewish gangsters) Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
US Vice President Joe Bidet has told press and media hacks that Israel had an "absolute right" to attack peace activists on the Gaza-bound Freedom Flotilla – even in international waters – to defend the Holy Land from heathen terrorists intent on kicking the usurping kikesters out and returning Palestine to its rightful, historic owners – the Palestinians.
Bidet went one step further down the road to absolute political perdition and international condemnation for his toadying sycophancy by stating for the record that the United States of AIPAC wholly supported an Israeli investigation of the incident by the Knesset’s Ministry of Whitewash & Coverups - similar to South Korea's recent probe into the sinking of one of its warships – er – by one of its own submarines – which would nevertheless be blamed on the hapless Nor-Kor’s.
He also played down any suggestion of a rift between Israel and the United States, declaring for anyone interesting in listening to his pro-Yidster twaddle “No US administration in history has been as up-front and supportive of Israel's security as this administration – especially so as it’s run by pro-Zionists and Shylocks," the Daily Shitraker quoted Bidet as saying as Rahm Emanuel stood behind him, clapping his hands in applause and whispering “Good dog.”
Bidet made the idiotic expression of support for Israel’s criminal chutzpah despite the fact that the attack on the Freedom Flotilla has been strongly condemned across the globe by every fucker and their dog with a social conscience and two moral brain cells still achieving telemetry.
The rogue state Israeli military attacked the Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters in the Mediterranean Sea early on May 31, killing at least 19 people on board the six ships, mostly Turkish nationals, and injuring about 50 others – in a typical cultural display of Jewish welcome.
The kikester criminals further arrested nearly 700 activists from 42 countries on board the Gaza Freedom Flotilla, which was attempting to break the illegal and internationally-condemned three year siege of Gaza in order to deliver humanitarian assistance to the long-suffering people of the territory. Yep, humanitarian aid – wheelchairs, medical supplies - and building materials (bricks) – which the Israelis claim will be used by Hamas for military purposes – ie thrown at the IDF’s thugs.
So, the gospel according to Joe ‘Robinette’ Bidet – a career Zionist and Israeli apologist who Mossad and AIPAC have by the short and curlies for his past perverted sexual indiscretions involving kiddie fiddling, gay bath houses and woolly farm animals - is that "Israel has an absolute right and is wholly justified in their pathological paranoia when dealing with its security interests – even to strike offshore and in international waters – regardless of loss of life or consequences."
A great pity Mr Bidet is a typical red-neck moron and has never studied the vagaries of recorded history concerning that which he elects as permissable miliatry actions.
For instance, the Gleiwitz Incident was a staged attack against the German radio station in Upper Silesia, Germany on the eve of World War Two in Europe that carried the appearance of Polish aggression against Germany and was used by Berlin to justify the subsequent invasion of Poland – and hence the kick-starting of WW2.
The military forces of the Imperial Japanese Army attacked China in 1937 after Kuomintang troops purportedly opened fire on them at the boundary Marco Polo Bridge close to Peking and became the benchmark for the start of the Second Sino-Japanese War (1937–1945).
Both these incidents of course being the precusors to the European and Pacific theatres of the Second World War – hence we ponder if the Gaza Freedom Flotilla assault might be the precursor to World War Three – that the superbly arrogant mad dog Israeli leadership has been chomping on the bit to kick-start
for quite some time – and brought about ‘accidentally’ by the Israeli psychopaths acting in US-approved self-defence.
Ah, what pity the perennially-whingeing Israeli ‘victims’ have such short memories concerning ships trying to breach a blockade – al la the Exodus 1947.
This was a ship carrying Jewish emigrants, that left France on July 11, 1947, with the intent of transporting its passengers to Palestine.
Most of the emigrants were Holohoax ‘survivor’ refugees, who had no legal immigration certificates or visas to enter the sovereign nation of Palestine (soon to be usurped by the greedy kikesters and renamed Israel the following year).
So, that’s the opinion of the Vice President of the United States of Israel – Mr Joe Robinette Bidet – as the Kenyan cuckoo – Barky O’Barmy is keeping pretty schtum on the issue – along with the super-dyke rug-munching Sec’ of Sleaze Hilarious Rodent Clinton.
However the lack of White House comment has opened the doors of infamy for the AIPAC-controlled Congressmen to stake out public positions on the matter and, perhaps predictably, those that have commented have universally praised the killings.
Rep. Gary Weaselberg, the House Foreign Affairs chair, praised the raid, stating he supported Israel’s decision to attack the ship and the decision of the commandos to use deadly force against the aid workers, who he claims were "brutally attacking" them – adding quite moronically that the whole matter was secretly Hamas fault.
Yeah, we know it’s not the Israelis fault - not that it ever is. They simply don’t like the democratically elected government of the sovereign state of Gaza – which just happens to be Hamas.
Well of course they don’t like Hamas – as they stand up for their people’s rights as a government is meant to do– unlike the past Palestinian Authority brown-nosing lickspittle Yessir Marrowfat whom Mossad poisoned – or the current PA leader Mahmoud Abbas in charge over in the equally-beleaguered West Bank occupied territory. Once again it’s just the same old shit with that sycophantic, grovelling and kowtowing twat.
Is he afforded any greater level of humanity, respect and dignity than that totally denied to the Palestinian population of the besieged Gaza Strip? Of course not. Abbas is simply yet another frog who dreams of becoming a toad, whom history shall treat with short shrift and piss on his memory – whereas Gaza’s duly and democratically-elected Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh might succumb to martyrdom but will be remembered as a leader who fought against the jackboot of Israeli aggression.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the Freemasons and their New World Order – and the Rothshite crime syndicate and their kikester’s (Jewish gangsters) Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Tippsy Bore Gives Fat Al the Elbow
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Former US Vice President Al Bore and his wife Tippsy are splitting up after 40 years of marriage.
Ms Sapphie Dildodo, a spokeswoman for Mrs Bore, informed one journalist from the Scandalmongers Gazette “Hey, Tippsy’s been with this slob for forty years now – without parole or time off for good behaviour. Even murderers get out after twenty years, so she’s gonna grab some quality time for herself around the toy boy beaches of Acapulco and Hawaii before it’s too late.”
Big Al Bore came to the public’s attentions as Dodger Bill Clinton's vice president, and went on to win the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for his propaganda-laced fictitious work on the non-existent phenomenon now known as ‘Global Warming’- with his film ‘A Convenient Pile of Bullshit’.
Hmmm, winning a Nobel Prize for concocting one of the biggest scams since the Catholic Church invented the money-spinning control-freak’s dream – Christianity - proves itself to be a travesty and a celebration of all that is dark in humanity – even more so when the Kenyan cuckoo currently squatting in the White House – Barky O’Barmy – was awarded one for doing sweet fuck all – apart from committing another 40,000 US troops to reinforce the decimated ranks of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment already in Afghanistan - to provide further target practice for the Taliban – and stuffing for body bags.
In an e-mail to friends - with a copy sent off to Al himself - Tippsy explained that following long and careful consideration of her husband’s mental health issues – especially so his paranoid psychosis concerning ‘global warming’ when it’s obvious to every other fucker and their dog it’s getting colder – she was ‘opting out’ of the threadbare relationship while the going was good.
The e-mail continued: “Seriously it got to be a bit of an ‘Inconvenient Truth’ when it became public knowledge that Al’s carbon-neutral lifestyle involved us living in a 10,000-square-foot, 20-room, eight-bathroom home in Nashville, and a 4,000-square-foot home in Arlington, Virginia plus the upkeep of our third ‘holiday home' in Carthage, Tennessee.”
Apparently Tippsy got fed up of people whispering behind her back about ‘excessive consumption’ and calling her Mrs AGW - the Anthropogenic Greedy Witch - due her non-existent connections to Fat Al’s money-harvesting carbon credits cap n trade exchange when Bore’s own ‘Going Green’ effort involved travelling around the world in private Lear and Gulfstream executive jets and choppers and gas-guzzling 4 x 4 SUV’s.
Obviously, regardless of Bore’s apocalyptic views about the environment and rallying the planet to pursue a path of extreme personal sacrifice, requires little in the way of all-out effort and good example from himself. Hence Bore's hypocrisy manifests as a question of overall credibility.
Tippsy continued, telling Beverly Titwank from the Gigolo’s Review, “I had the Prime Minister of the Maldives ringing up at all hours and whingeing about how Al’s scare-mongering public lectures over rising sea levels has frightened off all their tourists who didn’t want to end up getting tsunamied or drowned when the tide came in.”
“Then I had to go and feed all the polar bears he’d got Sarah Palin to ship down from Alaska as a publicity stunt so they could live in out back garden and be saved from drowning. Those greedy bastards even ate my little pet Dachshund last week – and all the dopey penguins too.”
“Really, I'm just so fucking sick and tired of his hypocrisy and going on and on about this global warming scam Frankenstein monster he’s created to make us all lots and lots of money.”
“Hey, I ain’t got nothing against lots and lots of money but all I need is for him to get off his fat ass sometimes and mow the lawn and feed his own effing polar bears – and stop eating so many olives and peanuts as they make him fart like hell and it stinks.”
“Anyways, now he’s got my ‘carbon footprint’ right in the middle of his lardy ass.”
Tipper’s PPA Fellattia van der Gamm issued a press release this afternoon stating that the ex-Second Lady - well known for her active role in the Parents Music Resource Center and voicing strong opinions for the labelling of record covers of releases featuring profane language, especially in the heavy metal and rap genres – is planning on pursuing a personal crusade to ban the ‘Shitbag Records’ label ‘anarchy’ Number One chart-busting hit release by Tammy and the Tourettes - “Go Fuck a Pig, Obama”
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the global warming scam.
Former US Vice President Al Bore and his wife Tippsy are splitting up after 40 years of marriage.
Ms Sapphie Dildodo, a spokeswoman for Mrs Bore, informed one journalist from the Scandalmongers Gazette “Hey, Tippsy’s been with this slob for forty years now – without parole or time off for good behaviour. Even murderers get out after twenty years, so she’s gonna grab some quality time for herself around the toy boy beaches of Acapulco and Hawaii before it’s too late.”
Big Al Bore came to the public’s attentions as Dodger Bill Clinton's vice president, and went on to win the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for his propaganda-laced fictitious work on the non-existent phenomenon now known as ‘Global Warming’- with his film ‘A Convenient Pile of Bullshit’.
Hmmm, winning a Nobel Prize for concocting one of the biggest scams since the Catholic Church invented the money-spinning control-freak’s dream – Christianity - proves itself to be a travesty and a celebration of all that is dark in humanity – even more so when the Kenyan cuckoo currently squatting in the White House – Barky O’Barmy – was awarded one for doing sweet fuck all – apart from committing another 40,000 US troops to reinforce the decimated ranks of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment already in Afghanistan - to provide further target practice for the Taliban – and stuffing for body bags.
In an e-mail to friends - with a copy sent off to Al himself - Tippsy explained that following long and careful consideration of her husband’s mental health issues – especially so his paranoid psychosis concerning ‘global warming’ when it’s obvious to every other fucker and their dog it’s getting colder – she was ‘opting out’ of the threadbare relationship while the going was good.
The e-mail continued: “Seriously it got to be a bit of an ‘Inconvenient Truth’ when it became public knowledge that Al’s carbon-neutral lifestyle involved us living in a 10,000-square-foot, 20-room, eight-bathroom home in Nashville, and a 4,000-square-foot home in Arlington, Virginia plus the upkeep of our third ‘holiday home' in Carthage, Tennessee.”
Apparently Tippsy got fed up of people whispering behind her back about ‘excessive consumption’ and calling her Mrs AGW - the Anthropogenic Greedy Witch - due her non-existent connections to Fat Al’s money-harvesting carbon credits cap n trade exchange when Bore’s own ‘Going Green’ effort involved travelling around the world in private Lear and Gulfstream executive jets and choppers and gas-guzzling 4 x 4 SUV’s.
Obviously, regardless of Bore’s apocalyptic views about the environment and rallying the planet to pursue a path of extreme personal sacrifice, requires little in the way of all-out effort and good example from himself. Hence Bore's hypocrisy manifests as a question of overall credibility.
Tippsy continued, telling Beverly Titwank from the Gigolo’s Review, “I had the Prime Minister of the Maldives ringing up at all hours and whingeing about how Al’s scare-mongering public lectures over rising sea levels has frightened off all their tourists who didn’t want to end up getting tsunamied or drowned when the tide came in.”
“Then I had to go and feed all the polar bears he’d got Sarah Palin to ship down from Alaska as a publicity stunt so they could live in out back garden and be saved from drowning. Those greedy bastards even ate my little pet Dachshund last week – and all the dopey penguins too.”
“Really, I'm just so fucking sick and tired of his hypocrisy and going on and on about this global warming scam Frankenstein monster he’s created to make us all lots and lots of money.”
“Hey, I ain’t got nothing against lots and lots of money but all I need is for him to get off his fat ass sometimes and mow the lawn and feed his own effing polar bears – and stop eating so many olives and peanuts as they make him fart like hell and it stinks.”
“Anyways, now he’s got my ‘carbon footprint’ right in the middle of his lardy ass.”
Tipper’s PPA Fellattia van der Gamm issued a press release this afternoon stating that the ex-Second Lady - well known for her active role in the Parents Music Resource Center and voicing strong opinions for the labelling of record covers of releases featuring profane language, especially in the heavy metal and rap genres – is planning on pursuing a personal crusade to ban the ‘Shitbag Records’ label ‘anarchy’ Number One chart-busting hit release by Tammy and the Tourettes - “Go Fuck a Pig, Obama”
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the global warming scam.
Saturday, 5 June 2010
Queen of Snobs Slams Greedy Grocer Chains
In today’s Enhanced Bullshit edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
TV shopping guru Fellattia Portaloo has blamed the Greedy Grocer supermarket chains for killing Britain's High Street traders, off licences and corner shops.
The 96-year old star, known for shows like Channel 69’s ‘Menopausal 'Madness'; 'Fellattia - Queen Of Snobs’; ‘Dogwanker’s Parade’ and then ever-popular award-winning ‘Shit Through a Goose’, claims she fears the unstoppable march of the voracious and mercenary self-service convenience stores.
In her weekly column for the Daily Shitraker Ms Portaloo declared it was her unqualified and bigoted opinion that entire communities were being sacrificed for convenience by the incumbent British population of lard-arsed couch spuds who simply couldn’t be bothered to traipse around a dozen or more shops in the town to buy the ingredients for that night’s dinner – preferring the ease of sauntering up and down the aisles of a Pestco Extra every Saturday and filling up their freezer for the week.
Fellattia reminds all of us of the baby boomer age and above that she, and we alike, grew up knowing every shopkeeper in the village, describing them as the cornerstones of family life – owned and manned by generations of the same families of inbred nose-picking, slack-jawed mutants.
“Really, these little stores were the best sources of hot gossip for the entire neighbourhood. Into the butcher’s shop and find out who’d been shagging who. Then into the baker’s for one of those tooth-snapping crusty Hovis loaves that Granny used to dunk in her Earl Grey before sucking it to death – and hear all about Mrs Whatshername at number 23 being up the duff again when her hubby’s away at sea – and how everyone reckons the baby might be a golly.”
“There were always a group of neighbours chatting on the corner too, discussing how ‘her’ at number 45 Slutts Terrace had the plods round again as she’d paid the rent two weeks on the trot and they wanted to know where she’d got the money from.”
“We had Mr Chop the Butcher, Mr Crust the Baker, Mr Glimmer the Candlestick Maker – and Mr Patel at the corner Chippy that sold curry sauce.”
“Of course in those days when Dad worked down the pit and got his wages on a Friday night after he finished his shift – with just enough money to see us through the weekend – you’d always have a slate going at your local corner shop and pay it off every Saturday.”
“Now just imagine walking up to the checkout counter in Pestco’s with a trolley full of shopping and asking the Albanian pikey cashier – the one in the burkah that always stinks of garlic - to put the shopping on the slate ‘til next payday.”
“Then you have all these loyalty card vouchers and ‘own bag’ greenie points. It’s the same at every one of them – Pestco, Mamon & Snobfords, Pukesbury’s and even the other place that sells their stuff in £1 portions – Shiteland.”
“In the old days you had to be loyal to the one greengrocer or baker or butcher or walk 20 miles across the moors to the next village for half a pound of gristly scrag end.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
TV shopping guru Fellattia Portaloo has blamed the Greedy Grocer supermarket chains for killing Britain's High Street traders, off licences and corner shops.
The 96-year old star, known for shows like Channel 69’s ‘Menopausal 'Madness'; 'Fellattia - Queen Of Snobs’; ‘Dogwanker’s Parade’ and then ever-popular award-winning ‘Shit Through a Goose’, claims she fears the unstoppable march of the voracious and mercenary self-service convenience stores.
In her weekly column for the Daily Shitraker Ms Portaloo declared it was her unqualified and bigoted opinion that entire communities were being sacrificed for convenience by the incumbent British population of lard-arsed couch spuds who simply couldn’t be bothered to traipse around a dozen or more shops in the town to buy the ingredients for that night’s dinner – preferring the ease of sauntering up and down the aisles of a Pestco Extra every Saturday and filling up their freezer for the week.
Fellattia reminds all of us of the baby boomer age and above that she, and we alike, grew up knowing every shopkeeper in the village, describing them as the cornerstones of family life – owned and manned by generations of the same families of inbred nose-picking, slack-jawed mutants.
“Really, these little stores were the best sources of hot gossip for the entire neighbourhood. Into the butcher’s shop and find out who’d been shagging who. Then into the baker’s for one of those tooth-snapping crusty Hovis loaves that Granny used to dunk in her Earl Grey before sucking it to death – and hear all about Mrs Whatshername at number 23 being up the duff again when her hubby’s away at sea – and how everyone reckons the baby might be a golly.”
“There were always a group of neighbours chatting on the corner too, discussing how ‘her’ at number 45 Slutts Terrace had the plods round again as she’d paid the rent two weeks on the trot and they wanted to know where she’d got the money from.”
“We had Mr Chop the Butcher, Mr Crust the Baker, Mr Glimmer the Candlestick Maker – and Mr Patel at the corner Chippy that sold curry sauce.”
“Of course in those days when Dad worked down the pit and got his wages on a Friday night after he finished his shift – with just enough money to see us through the weekend – you’d always have a slate going at your local corner shop and pay it off every Saturday.”
“Now just imagine walking up to the checkout counter in Pestco’s with a trolley full of shopping and asking the Albanian pikey cashier – the one in the burkah that always stinks of garlic - to put the shopping on the slate ‘til next payday.”
“Then you have all these loyalty card vouchers and ‘own bag’ greenie points. It’s the same at every one of them – Pestco, Mamon & Snobfords, Pukesbury’s and even the other place that sells their stuff in £1 portions – Shiteland.”
“In the old days you had to be loyal to the one greengrocer or baker or butcher or walk 20 miles across the moors to the next village for half a pound of gristly scrag end.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Libservatives to Licence Gutter Press Hacks
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The Libservative Ministry of Propaganda & Scaremongering, in conjunction with the public communications regulatory board Sleazecom, is planning to license the ranks of media and press reporters to vet them for “good moral character” and ensure they’re credible and not sensationalist propaganda merchants out for the quick buck.
The Rt. Hon. Rigpole Twatwoddle, the Tory MP for Kuntsford in Smegmashire is pushing to introduce legislation that will regulate journalists reporting for the gutter press’s red top tabloids plus radio and TV stations, by licence alike CORGI-registered dog walkers, hospital nursing staff, driving instructors, dentists, massage parlour plum pullers and chimney sweeps.
Twatwoddle, a student of constitutional law, claims that members of the general peasantry who are able to read - and especially the dangerous ones that sometimes think for themselves - is being overwhelmed by an increasing number of media outlets–traditional, online and citizen-generated - and an even greater amount of misinformation.
“Accurate media sources are critically important to the functioning of our society,” Twatwoddle posted on his government weblog – further declaring that some reporters covering international and domestic issues didn’t know what they were talking about and working for publications he’d never heard of.
Hence he wants to install a process that might help the general public figure out which reporters and government press officers to trust.
Hey and why not too – especially so when we have our own government employing press spokespersons who are that moronic and incompetent they go round releasing fabricated fictitious media reports that a bunch of cave-dwelling Al Qaeda Jolly Jihadi Muslim terrorists hijacked a bunch of commercial aircraft on 9/11 and flew then into the WTC Twin Towers in New York – and another so accurately into the side of the Pentagon it only left a cruise missile sized hole.
Seriously we definitely require some form of official regulation on this score when it is obvious to every fucker and their dog that it had to have been the inside job work of an entity with the military and intelligence resources a sovereign nation state. One with the bare-faced blatant audacity to pull off such a stunt to remote control the planes into the buildings then detonate pre-planted thermite cutting charges and micro-nukes staged up the central steel core.
An organisation like the criminal enterprise that constitutes the rogue State of Israel and its Mossad mad dogs thus fits this bill nicely.
Yep, the superbly arrogant and manky Mossad - the type of chutzpah organisation that would have a bunch of hi-fiving kikester agents dancing on top of a white van while filming the Twin Towers come crashing down at freefall speed and congratulating each other on a job well done.
Hmmm, the self-same calibre of criminals that would purposely attack a flotilla of ships carrying a cargo of humanitarian aid for the besieged Gaza Strip while they were sailing across international waters and flying the sovereign flags of Turkey and Greece.
Hence we most definitely require a regulated press to control the asinine – if not criminally-liable dissemination of erroneous and concocted information passed off as news that is more at fiction – such as blaming the hapless Al Qaeda for Mossad’s misdeeds and issuing reports of dodgy dossiers concerning weapons of mass distraction in Iraq that resulted in the illegal invasion of the country – whereas accurate media reports would have scotched any such idea on the spot.
Once again this was instanced over the murder of international weapons inspector Dr David Kelly when his lifeless body was discovered in the Grassy Knoll Woods close to his Oxfordshire home and a totally inaccurate piece of fictitious journalism resulted in his death being reported as a ’suicide’ which cost the government a fortune in official enquiries by Lord Mutton and his official Whitewash & Coverups Commission.
Had there been one of MP Twatwoddle’s approved and licenced reporters on the scene then the truth would have been splashed across the headlines that night: “Weapons Inspector Murdered” and that would have been the end of the matter – not having it dragged out for months claiming he committed suicide simply because he couldn’t live with the fact he knew all about the illegal false flag nukes in the WTC 9/11 attacks and the micro-nuke buried in the monsoon drain outside the Sari Club in Bali that vapourised the 70-odd tourists who are unaccounted for to this very day - and the black market trade in weapons grade uranium and plutonium being run by the US and Israel globally.
So our heartfelt thanks to Mr Twatwoddle for his innovative regulation that could well ensure our news is not only fiction-free but also devoid of ‘Original Spin’.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
The Libservative Ministry of Propaganda & Scaremongering, in conjunction with the public communications regulatory board Sleazecom, is planning to license the ranks of media and press reporters to vet them for “good moral character” and ensure they’re credible and not sensationalist propaganda merchants out for the quick buck.
The Rt. Hon. Rigpole Twatwoddle, the Tory MP for Kuntsford in Smegmashire is pushing to introduce legislation that will regulate journalists reporting for the gutter press’s red top tabloids plus radio and TV stations, by licence alike CORGI-registered dog walkers, hospital nursing staff, driving instructors, dentists, massage parlour plum pullers and chimney sweeps.
Twatwoddle, a student of constitutional law, claims that members of the general peasantry who are able to read - and especially the dangerous ones that sometimes think for themselves - is being overwhelmed by an increasing number of media outlets–traditional, online and citizen-generated - and an even greater amount of misinformation.
“Accurate media sources are critically important to the functioning of our society,” Twatwoddle posted on his government weblog – further declaring that some reporters covering international and domestic issues didn’t know what they were talking about and working for publications he’d never heard of.
Hence he wants to install a process that might help the general public figure out which reporters and government press officers to trust.
Hey and why not too – especially so when we have our own government employing press spokespersons who are that moronic and incompetent they go round releasing fabricated fictitious media reports that a bunch of cave-dwelling Al Qaeda Jolly Jihadi Muslim terrorists hijacked a bunch of commercial aircraft on 9/11 and flew then into the WTC Twin Towers in New York – and another so accurately into the side of the Pentagon it only left a cruise missile sized hole.
Seriously we definitely require some form of official regulation on this score when it is obvious to every fucker and their dog that it had to have been the inside job work of an entity with the military and intelligence resources a sovereign nation state. One with the bare-faced blatant audacity to pull off such a stunt to remote control the planes into the buildings then detonate pre-planted thermite cutting charges and micro-nukes staged up the central steel core.
An organisation like the criminal enterprise that constitutes the rogue State of Israel and its Mossad mad dogs thus fits this bill nicely.
Yep, the superbly arrogant and manky Mossad - the type of chutzpah organisation that would have a bunch of hi-fiving kikester agents dancing on top of a white van while filming the Twin Towers come crashing down at freefall speed and congratulating each other on a job well done.
Hmmm, the self-same calibre of criminals that would purposely attack a flotilla of ships carrying a cargo of humanitarian aid for the besieged Gaza Strip while they were sailing across international waters and flying the sovereign flags of Turkey and Greece.
Hence we most definitely require a regulated press to control the asinine – if not criminally-liable dissemination of erroneous and concocted information passed off as news that is more at fiction – such as blaming the hapless Al Qaeda for Mossad’s misdeeds and issuing reports of dodgy dossiers concerning weapons of mass distraction in Iraq that resulted in the illegal invasion of the country – whereas accurate media reports would have scotched any such idea on the spot.
Once again this was instanced over the murder of international weapons inspector Dr David Kelly when his lifeless body was discovered in the Grassy Knoll Woods close to his Oxfordshire home and a totally inaccurate piece of fictitious journalism resulted in his death being reported as a ’suicide’ which cost the government a fortune in official enquiries by Lord Mutton and his official Whitewash & Coverups Commission.
Had there been one of MP Twatwoddle’s approved and licenced reporters on the scene then the truth would have been splashed across the headlines that night: “Weapons Inspector Murdered” and that would have been the end of the matter – not having it dragged out for months claiming he committed suicide simply because he couldn’t live with the fact he knew all about the illegal false flag nukes in the WTC 9/11 attacks and the micro-nuke buried in the monsoon drain outside the Sari Club in Bali that vapourised the 70-odd tourists who are unaccounted for to this very day - and the black market trade in weapons grade uranium and plutonium being run by the US and Israel globally.
So our heartfelt thanks to Mr Twatwoddle for his innovative regulation that could well ensure our news is not only fiction-free but also devoid of ‘Original Spin’.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Friday, 4 June 2010
Channel Project Turns Neighbours into Snoops
In today’s Enhanced Bullshit edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Critics from the UK’s ‘Liberty or Die’ civil rights organisation are up in arms that the new Libservative government is displaying zero intent to abolish the controversial ‘Channel Project’ that was originally initiated to monitor juveniles who might be vulnerable to radicalisation and end up as suicide vest wearing anarchists with definite self-harming nihilistic tendencies.
Such would include the type of kids who’d get up in a morning with the sole intention of detonating their junior-sized Semtex waistcoats – or underpants – or shoes – in some crowded Jobcentre Plus branch while shouting ‘Allahu Akbar’ or “Fuck the EU’ or ‘Tiocfaidh ár lá’ or ‘Cymry am Byth’ or even ‘Bollocks to Murgatroyd’ – and making a nasty mess for the cleaners to mop up.
Dozens of immigrants around London’s Scumdale Oasis Hamlets, ranging from burkah-clad transvestite Pashtuns and Tajiks to Balkans- bred swan-roasting Pikeys - mainly aged between 5 and 16, have been reported to the local Plod Squad and then registered on the international / EUSSR terrorist database for having either extremist Islamic views, far-right leanings, even further far left leanings - and being Welsh nationalist Meibion Glyndwr (Sons of Glendower) or Irish Republican Army (Provisional IRA or Real IRA or False IRA) sympathisers.
One 9-year old schoolboy, born of mixed Irish-Pakistani parentage, Mohammed bin Murphy, became obsessed with dressing his Action Man toys in Arabic keffiyas and kitted his sister’s Barbie doll out with a make-believe plastercine boob job and suicide vest concealed under her pink see-through burkah.
Under the guidelines of the Channel Project , Mohammed’s school chums grassed him to the Community Enforcement Gestapo – following which he was picked up and tossed into the back of black Transit van by some hi-fiving Cro-Magnon types wearing donkey jackets and yarmulkes the following week while coming home from the chippy - and hasn’t been seen since.
Local law enforcement officers are investigating the verisimilitude surrounding a picture post card believed to be from Mohammed that was posted in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba which bears similarities to samples of his school exercise book handwriting.
Hence the scheme’s proponents point to this instance as the proof of its viability in removing potential extremist types from the EUSSR community arena before they become totally radicalised and a danger to our already dystopian Western civilisation (sic).
Police complete background checks on all individuals reported before a panel of consultants from Slackwater / XE’s Renta-Thug Agency meets to decide if any action needs to be taken.
Interventions can range from a simple chat, to a complex mentoring and counselling process – with ‘therapies and techniques’ ranging from simple MK-Ultra style brainwashing to water boarding sessions to knee-capping – and up to getting shoved on an extraordinary rendition flight to Kazakhstan and disapearing forever.
Inspector Ghengis McTwatt, the scheme's coordinator, has admitted the project is aimed to target those with 'extremist views'.
“We are looking at people who would not normally show up on our radar. In their behaviour they may not actually be doing anything wrong, but we have concerns about how they could develop – such as becoming Muslims or voting for the BNP.”
The Channel Project was initiated in the wake of the London tube train false flag bombings of 7/7/05 with the publicly-declared intention of combatting home-grown terrorism via existing community groups that were already identifying potential problem youngsters vulnerable to the attractions of violent extremism due watching the BBC’s Children’s Hour and playing video games such as the ultra-violent ‘Catholic Church Inquisition’.
Whereas in reality it was a political black propaganda move to cleave a deep cultural / sectarian chasm between the UK’s Anglo-Saxon lapsed Christian population and any foreign immigrant types – with the true purpose being to demonise Islam and its bomb-chucking Muslim adherents and thus gain public sympathy and backing for Tony Bliar’s illegal pro-Zionist wars of neo-colonial aggression across the Middle East.
Critics of the Channel Project say it encourages people to spy on their neighbours, but the Home Office claim the scheme's aim is to prevent 'vulnerable people' becoming radicalised.
Some instances include new neighbours behaving oddly, including keeping their curtains drawn or a vulnerable loner who suddenly received visitors carrying AK47 assault rifles to his back door after midnight and it definitely isn’t a couple of slappers from the local Rub n Tug Happy Ending Massage Salon doing a spot of 'cash-in-hand' overtime.
The sources of information include tip-offs coming from nosey parker / shit-stirring neighbours and people in public sector jobs including school dinner ladies, gulley suckers mate’s and wheelie bin recycling operatives.
One volunteer snoop for the Ox-Rat snitch and grassers charity, Mrs Hilda Bigott of Shitbag Terraces, Rochdale, a regular stoolie at her local plod shop, had her suspicions alerted concerning one Muslim neighbour receiving a series of late night deliveries from a 'person' dressed in a black burkah who drove a white van with Smegmadale Nuclear Waste Disposal on the side.
An ensuing MI5 investigation led to the arrest of wanted terrorist Mohammed Bilharzia – aka the Man from Rogan Josh – at a tribal Jirga in Bradford where scores of members of the Jolly Jihadi Club and the Septic Saracens were gathered in a radical conclave to discuss issuing a fatwa on Mr Patel, owner of the local corner shop newsagents, for renouncing the One True Faith and eating bacon sandwiches for breakfast.
Conversely Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, chairman of the British Council of Mosques, said it was a step too far. “People in our communities already know what their responsibilities are to the UK government and will report anything suspicious – such as a bomb going off.”
Are any of your neighbours sneaky looking twats? Have you seen your Muslim neighbours buying fertiliser or stocking up on cans of gasoline or LPG cylinders? Do they ever open the curtains?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a fortnight in one of Kazakhstan’s luxury extraordinary rendition centres with your own en-suite room overlooking the firing squad’s target range.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Thought for the day: Fuck the Channel Project and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Critics from the UK’s ‘Liberty or Die’ civil rights organisation are up in arms that the new Libservative government is displaying zero intent to abolish the controversial ‘Channel Project’ that was originally initiated to monitor juveniles who might be vulnerable to radicalisation and end up as suicide vest wearing anarchists with definite self-harming nihilistic tendencies.
Such would include the type of kids who’d get up in a morning with the sole intention of detonating their junior-sized Semtex waistcoats – or underpants – or shoes – in some crowded Jobcentre Plus branch while shouting ‘Allahu Akbar’ or “Fuck the EU’ or ‘Tiocfaidh ár lá’ or ‘Cymry am Byth’ or even ‘Bollocks to Murgatroyd’ – and making a nasty mess for the cleaners to mop up.
Dozens of immigrants around London’s Scumdale Oasis Hamlets, ranging from burkah-clad transvestite Pashtuns and Tajiks to Balkans- bred swan-roasting Pikeys - mainly aged between 5 and 16, have been reported to the local Plod Squad and then registered on the international / EUSSR terrorist database for having either extremist Islamic views, far-right leanings, even further far left leanings - and being Welsh nationalist Meibion Glyndwr (Sons of Glendower) or Irish Republican Army (Provisional IRA or Real IRA or False IRA) sympathisers.
One 9-year old schoolboy, born of mixed Irish-Pakistani parentage, Mohammed bin Murphy, became obsessed with dressing his Action Man toys in Arabic keffiyas and kitted his sister’s Barbie doll out with a make-believe plastercine boob job and suicide vest concealed under her pink see-through burkah.
Under the guidelines of the Channel Project , Mohammed’s school chums grassed him to the Community Enforcement Gestapo – following which he was picked up and tossed into the back of black Transit van by some hi-fiving Cro-Magnon types wearing donkey jackets and yarmulkes the following week while coming home from the chippy - and hasn’t been seen since.
Local law enforcement officers are investigating the verisimilitude surrounding a picture post card believed to be from Mohammed that was posted in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba which bears similarities to samples of his school exercise book handwriting.
Hence the scheme’s proponents point to this instance as the proof of its viability in removing potential extremist types from the EUSSR community arena before they become totally radicalised and a danger to our already dystopian Western civilisation (sic).
Police complete background checks on all individuals reported before a panel of consultants from Slackwater / XE’s Renta-Thug Agency meets to decide if any action needs to be taken.
Interventions can range from a simple chat, to a complex mentoring and counselling process – with ‘therapies and techniques’ ranging from simple MK-Ultra style brainwashing to water boarding sessions to knee-capping – and up to getting shoved on an extraordinary rendition flight to Kazakhstan and disapearing forever.
Inspector Ghengis McTwatt, the scheme's coordinator, has admitted the project is aimed to target those with 'extremist views'.
“We are looking at people who would not normally show up on our radar. In their behaviour they may not actually be doing anything wrong, but we have concerns about how they could develop – such as becoming Muslims or voting for the BNP.”
The Channel Project was initiated in the wake of the London tube train false flag bombings of 7/7/05 with the publicly-declared intention of combatting home-grown terrorism via existing community groups that were already identifying potential problem youngsters vulnerable to the attractions of violent extremism due watching the BBC’s Children’s Hour and playing video games such as the ultra-violent ‘Catholic Church Inquisition’.
Whereas in reality it was a political black propaganda move to cleave a deep cultural / sectarian chasm between the UK’s Anglo-Saxon lapsed Christian population and any foreign immigrant types – with the true purpose being to demonise Islam and its bomb-chucking Muslim adherents and thus gain public sympathy and backing for Tony Bliar’s illegal pro-Zionist wars of neo-colonial aggression across the Middle East.
Critics of the Channel Project say it encourages people to spy on their neighbours, but the Home Office claim the scheme's aim is to prevent 'vulnerable people' becoming radicalised.
Some instances include new neighbours behaving oddly, including keeping their curtains drawn or a vulnerable loner who suddenly received visitors carrying AK47 assault rifles to his back door after midnight and it definitely isn’t a couple of slappers from the local Rub n Tug Happy Ending Massage Salon doing a spot of 'cash-in-hand' overtime.
The sources of information include tip-offs coming from nosey parker / shit-stirring neighbours and people in public sector jobs including school dinner ladies, gulley suckers mate’s and wheelie bin recycling operatives.
One volunteer snoop for the Ox-Rat snitch and grassers charity, Mrs Hilda Bigott of Shitbag Terraces, Rochdale, a regular stoolie at her local plod shop, had her suspicions alerted concerning one Muslim neighbour receiving a series of late night deliveries from a 'person' dressed in a black burkah who drove a white van with Smegmadale Nuclear Waste Disposal on the side.
An ensuing MI5 investigation led to the arrest of wanted terrorist Mohammed Bilharzia – aka the Man from Rogan Josh – at a tribal Jirga in Bradford where scores of members of the Jolly Jihadi Club and the Septic Saracens were gathered in a radical conclave to discuss issuing a fatwa on Mr Patel, owner of the local corner shop newsagents, for renouncing the One True Faith and eating bacon sandwiches for breakfast.
Conversely Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, chairman of the British Council of Mosques, said it was a step too far. “People in our communities already know what their responsibilities are to the UK government and will report anything suspicious – such as a bomb going off.”
Are any of your neighbours sneaky looking twats? Have you seen your Muslim neighbours buying fertiliser or stocking up on cans of gasoline or LPG cylinders? Do they ever open the curtains?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a fortnight in one of Kazakhstan’s luxury extraordinary rendition centres with your own en-suite room overlooking the firing squad’s target range.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Thought for the day: Fuck the Channel Project and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
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