Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Down Mexico way the incompetent President Felipe Calderon and his ruling Graft & Corruption Party greasers went into headless chicken mode earlier this week when Arizona’s State Legislature had the outrageous audacity to pass their state SB 1070 Illegal Immigrant Bill which aims to target all the wetback beaners currently squatting in the state without visas or green cards.
Although who can blame Calderon for labelling the Grand Canyon State’s politicians neo-Nazi racist scumbags when his mismanaged Third World shithole of a country is the largest contributor of illegal aliens (12 to 15 zillion) now living and working in the US as there is sweet fuck all in the way of welfare to be had back home – apart from unemployment with a capital U and poverty with a capital P – and even more fucking beans - with a capital B.
However, what’s worrying Calderon is the fact these wetback Spics residing in the United States contribute $24 billion back to the Mexican government’s financial coffers annually in US dollar forex cash transfers – while in total contradiction to the rules of Fair Play the illegal’s criminal activities and generalised lawlessness costs American taxpayers $346 billion per annum spread across 15 US federal agencies.
Amazingly, the inept Calderon and his fellow plutocrats cannot and will not provide jobs and a valid economy for Mexico's own people - whereas his country transports and provides $75 billion in drugs that his criminal cartel cronies ship into the United States annually.
Both the US and Mexican governments refuse to put a halt the people smuggling - and drug smuggling - at the border. Yet a simple deployment of 50,000 U.S. troops from Brownsville, Texas, across 1,952 miles to San Diego CA - issued with shoot on sight / to kill orders – would curb the illegal immigration and drug smuggling into the US within a week.
However, with corrupt bureaucrats at all levels of government, and on both sides of the border, raking in mega-amounts of ready unmarked dollar bills for turning a blind eye then no fucker or their dog’s in too much of a sweat to clamp down on the drugs or people smuggling.
Unfortunately, we discover duplicity, scandal, corruption, deceit and immorality on both sides of the Mexican border with the United States. Both governments lie, cheat and steal on multiple levels, with both U.S. Republicans and Democrats failing their constituents at every juncture.
Conversely, as illegals overran Arizona, that state instituted its own SB 1070 legislation to mirror federal statutes. President Barky O’Barmy – himself an illegal Kenyan- Indonesian Muslim immigrant groomed and put into the White House by kikester crime syndicate money - chastised Arizona, but backed off like a coyote faced with an irate porcupine when public opinion polls showed a solid 73 percent support from American citizens for Arizona’s actions.
If American policymakers require a legal model on which to base new laws restricting immigration and expelling foreign lawbreakers they have the Immigration Guide for Dummies right there at hand - the Mexican constitution itself.
The Mexican constitution (sic) segregates immigrants and naturalized citizens from those native-born by denying immigrants the basic human rights that even illegal Mexican immigrants enjoy in the United States.
Further, the Mexican constitution expressly forbids non-citizens to participate in the country's political life - as anyone from abroad armed with a half-arsed education can see through the façade of lies and corrupt deceits perpetrated by the incumbent governments.
Nonetheless, President Calderon lobbed a few verbal nasties at how 'unfair' and 'un-neighbourly' Arizona's Governor Ghengis McTwatt treats illegal beaners.
Now Mexican campaigners against the controversial new SB 1070 immigration law in the US state of Arizona – soon to be fast track legislated and enforced by a further 17 states - have adopted a popular children's cartoon character as a symbol of their cause.
Dora the Explorer, labelled by many God-fearing ‘good parenting’ groups in the US as a Spic three-holer, and a crack whore who probably sucks n swallows to boot, has taught zillions of American children basic Spanish phrases such as “Besa mi culo, puto”; “Chinga tu Madre”; “Viete a la mierda!” and “Pinche pendejo” on her Nickelodeon TV show.
Now a doctored image on the anti-SB 1070 law internet website now shows the cartoon heroine with a split lips and a black eye in a USCIA / Arizona Highway Patrol police mugshot – with her alleged crimes being illegal border crossing and resisting arrest – and her inherent human rights shot all to buggery.
For almost a decade, the feisty cartoon heroine has been one of the most prominent Hispanic characters on children's television in the US. Her TV show has spawned a mega-bucks black market and hard drugs empire, with her smiling face and ‘come-to-bed’ eyes appearing on everything from condom packs to paedophile websites.
Yet as the controversy over illegal immigration has intensified, Dora has been drawn into the political debate along with Channel Five’s Peppa Pig and celebrity Columbian wetback ‘Ugly Betty’ Suarez – with the London’s 2012 Rapture Olympics mutant mascots Wenlock and Manderville volunteering to throw in their two penny-worth as well in support of any worthwhile cause.
Most of the websites that have appropriated her image assume she’s a Spic migrant from Mexico due the amount of beans and tortillas she eats – and her unsociable propensity for dropping gnarly farts in the midst of polite Christian society.
Dora, who turns tricks for a couple of bucks, has brown skin, dark hair, and speaks Spanish with an American accent. She lives in a basket case Third World tropical country with pyramids, accompanied by her best pals Chico Pendejo, the drug cartel enforcer and Pancho Burrito, a one-legged leper.
But while Nickelodeon has declined to comment on her background, and her place of birth and citizenship have never been made clear by programme producers, Mexican President Calderon has this week declared for the record that Dora in not a Mexican citizen but a Nicaraguan agent provocateur out to stir up trouble for the emerging North American Union.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Thought for the day: If a bear shits in the Rio Grande which side gets to poop scoop it?
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Afghan Bomb Disposal now ‘Too Dangerous’
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The Ministry of Defence has this morning announced the resignation of the Army's top bomb disposal officer due fears the job has become simply too dangerous and is no longer anywhere like the gung ho ‘blow shit up’ fun it used to be.
Colonel Ghengis McTwatt of the 21st EOD Big Bangs Battalion told a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette that he was quitting as bomb disposal work had become bogged down due the mandate of compliance with the EUSSR’s latest HSE Risk Assessment procedures.
“Believe me, the entire shebang has got dangerous with a capital D due asinine HSE regulations and now there’s far too much pressure on the Army to produce more bomb-disposal specialists for Afghan deployment to replace all the ones that are getting blown up each week.”
“The recruitment offices are hard pressed to source the usual self-harming suicidal types that normally step up for this kind of work and we’re not allowed to go round recruiting volunteers from prisons and lunatic asylums any more.”
“It hasn’t helped matters that anti-war protesters have been adding graffiti to our recruitment posters bearing the message that ‘the definition of a volunteer is someone who has totally misunderstood the question put to them.”
The Daily Shitraker defence correspondent Candida Titwank writes that the resignation is in part motivated by fears that pressures on the Army to comply with the latest EUSSR ‘Warfare for Dummies’ manual and attached HSE regulations on how to fight the threats from roadside bombs has led to soldiers being sent to the front line with less training and relying on the risk assessment forms – instanced by such instructions as: Has it gone bang yet? Is there smoke coming out of it? Have you tried throwing stones at it - poking it with a long stick – or kicking it?
Colonel McTwatt further commented “The last batch of recruits they sent us were a transfer mix from the 14th Scallies & Asbo Regiment’s Hopscotch team who had no idea what bomb disposal entailed. Private Lenny Scrunt was actually observed stood over a suitcase-sized IED bomb in Bellend Province and hitting it with a claw hammer while shouting “Fer fuck’s sake go effin’ bang yer useless piece of Taliban shit!” when it must have heard him and did precisely that.”
In response, and perhaps too a ’cover-your-arse’ move, the new Libservative Minister of Defence Liam Poxx told a reporter from the Body Bag Review that innovative steps were being taken to recruit more soldiers for IED disposal work.
“The Army has begun to offer £50,000 bonus payments to top bomb disposal soldiers willing to sign on for another tour of duty in Afghanistan and treble their risk of getting blown to bits in a bid to ease the manning pressures on the units already deployed.”
“Further to this I have commissioned a scheme inside Afghanistan with the UK Commander of NATO’s ‘Operation Enduring Genocide’ to start an advertising campaign to recruit members of the Taliban to our IED teams – and who better as they’re the one’s building and planting the nasty roadside bomb thingies.”
“They’re being offered an attractive package of tax-free salary in British pounds with an index-linked pension scheme and a flock of goats on completion of five years service.”
“I mean to say, three hot meals per day, a cosy barracks billet and running water – now that has got to be better than living in caves and having to wipe your arse with a bunch of thistles.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Thought for the day: If a bear shits by the roadside will a bomb disposal squad come and poke it with a stick before they ‘scoop de poop’?
The Ministry of Defence has this morning announced the resignation of the Army's top bomb disposal officer due fears the job has become simply too dangerous and is no longer anywhere like the gung ho ‘blow shit up’ fun it used to be.
Colonel Ghengis McTwatt of the 21st EOD Big Bangs Battalion told a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette that he was quitting as bomb disposal work had become bogged down due the mandate of compliance with the EUSSR’s latest HSE Risk Assessment procedures.
“Believe me, the entire shebang has got dangerous with a capital D due asinine HSE regulations and now there’s far too much pressure on the Army to produce more bomb-disposal specialists for Afghan deployment to replace all the ones that are getting blown up each week.”
“The recruitment offices are hard pressed to source the usual self-harming suicidal types that normally step up for this kind of work and we’re not allowed to go round recruiting volunteers from prisons and lunatic asylums any more.”
“It hasn’t helped matters that anti-war protesters have been adding graffiti to our recruitment posters bearing the message that ‘the definition of a volunteer is someone who has totally misunderstood the question put to them.”
The Daily Shitraker defence correspondent Candida Titwank writes that the resignation is in part motivated by fears that pressures on the Army to comply with the latest EUSSR ‘Warfare for Dummies’ manual and attached HSE regulations on how to fight the threats from roadside bombs has led to soldiers being sent to the front line with less training and relying on the risk assessment forms – instanced by such instructions as: Has it gone bang yet? Is there smoke coming out of it? Have you tried throwing stones at it - poking it with a long stick – or kicking it?
Colonel McTwatt further commented “The last batch of recruits they sent us were a transfer mix from the 14th Scallies & Asbo Regiment’s Hopscotch team who had no idea what bomb disposal entailed. Private Lenny Scrunt was actually observed stood over a suitcase-sized IED bomb in Bellend Province and hitting it with a claw hammer while shouting “Fer fuck’s sake go effin’ bang yer useless piece of Taliban shit!” when it must have heard him and did precisely that.”
In response, and perhaps too a ’cover-your-arse’ move, the new Libservative Minister of Defence Liam Poxx told a reporter from the Body Bag Review that innovative steps were being taken to recruit more soldiers for IED disposal work.
“The Army has begun to offer £50,000 bonus payments to top bomb disposal soldiers willing to sign on for another tour of duty in Afghanistan and treble their risk of getting blown to bits in a bid to ease the manning pressures on the units already deployed.”
“Further to this I have commissioned a scheme inside Afghanistan with the UK Commander of NATO’s ‘Operation Enduring Genocide’ to start an advertising campaign to recruit members of the Taliban to our IED teams – and who better as they’re the one’s building and planting the nasty roadside bomb thingies.”
“They’re being offered an attractive package of tax-free salary in British pounds with an index-linked pension scheme and a flock of goats on completion of five years service.”
“I mean to say, three hot meals per day, a cosy barracks billet and running water – now that has got to be better than living in caves and having to wipe your arse with a bunch of thistles.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Thought for the day: If a bear shits by the roadside will a bomb disposal squad come and poke it with a stick before they ‘scoop de poop’?
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Kim il Patsy Blamed for Cheonan Sinking
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Initial reports of the sinking of the South Korean warship Cheonan had provoked fears that the NorKor’s might have attacked the ship with a torpedo for a bit of a laugh and to liven up a dull afternoon’s submarine patrol duty.
However South Korean military authorities then claimed there was no evidence that North Korean forces were to blame, issuing a media statement at the end of March that “Speculation is now turning to the possibility that the Cheonan had perhaps struck a sea mine that had broken free from its mooring.”
Yet despite the South Korean statement and strong denials by the NorKor’s of any involvement - plus expressions of sympathy for lost fellow Koreans – the fingers of Seoul’s Zionist American puppets are now being pointed back at Pyongyang over the tragic sinking of the ROKS 1,200-ton corvette Cheonan (PCC-772) in the Yellow Peril Sea off Baengnyeong Island on the night of March 26th.
Thus, in order to blame the NorKor’s and set the stage for a war that will conveniently displace the unfolding nightmare of the engineered global economic implosion, a joint civilian-military investigation group of military and civilian experts from the US, Israel, Australia and Germany was quickly cobbled together this last week.
Yesterday these so-called self-appointed propaganda disseminators posing as submarine warfare ‘experts’ claimed to have recovered the remains of a torpedo from the sea bed – with identifiable NorKor markings on the propulsion housing.
Excuse me, is any fucker or their dog awake around here? These dodgy ‘marine ordnance experts’ have found the arse end of a TYPE 53-59 torpedo on the sea bed with some ‘North Korean’ characters scribbled on it with chalk. Fer fuck’s sake, gimmee an effin’ break. Does any political or military analyst reading these ‘blame’ reports actually know what torpedoes do?
They get packed chocker block full with mega-kilos (260 kg) of PBX hexogen / aluminium (equivalent to 460 kg of TNT) with magnetic influence and contact fuses and a wake homing sensor and blow the fuck up with so big a bang that the fish for miles around go stone deaf – and blast huge holes in the hulls of whatever they hit – submarines, warships – and corvettes like the Cheonan.
Hence it must be realised that in this destructive act of detonating and ‘blowing up’ when they hit their target not only do they blast a big ‘sink me quick’ hole in the hull they also, by design, totally destruct themselves into ‘sub-atomic’ sized bits.
So, instead of making political ‘hay’ out of a military disaster of their own manufacture due incompetence, and breaking the Ninth Commandment by bearing false witness against their neighbour, the US naval and Seoul-based morons responsible for the sinking obviously need a reminder of what actually took place – and why the Cheonan sank - and stop pointing at Pyongyang as the fall guy.
On March 26th the sinking occurred precisely in the waters where what the Pentagon referred to as the world's largest simulated naval exercise – ‘Key Resolve / Foal Eagle’ was underway.
Among the fleet of hundreds of vessels were four Aegis ships: the USS Shiloh (CG-67), a 9,600-ton Ticonderoga class cruiser, the USS Curtis Wilbur (DDG-54), a 6,800-ton Arleigh Burke class guided-missile destroyer, the USS Lassen, a 9,200-ton Arleigh Burke class guided-missile destroyer and Sejong the Great, a 8,500-ton South Korean guided-missile destroyer - plus a full compliment of US Navy anti-submarine Squadron 7 choppers.
Yep, Aegis class warships – submarine hunters – and a clunky old NorKor diesel-powered fish without AIP propulsion technology sneaks past the lot into the very South Korean waters where the biggest naval exercise in the known Universe is being enacted and fires one of their TYPE 53-59 torpedoes at the Cheonan then escaped wholly undetected back across the 38th Parallel (marine section).
Hence if the South Koreans and the Americans maintain these ridiculous charges that the NorKor’s sank the Cheonan it only serves to demonstrate and highlight the fact that their mega-bucks submarine-hunter Aegis warships are a pile of shite.
It further demonstrates the futility of the US-South Korean joint war games and the neo-colonial US military presence in Korea.
But to let warmongering gossip and conspiracy theories run their course, BP are now claiming the NorKor’s are responsible for torpedoing their Deepwater Horizon drilling rig – the one currently turning the Gulf of Mexico into a massive tar pit – from Key West to Brownsville to Cancun – with Cuba acting as a stopper.
Further rumours that the actual torpedo fragments found were in reality identified as being from the DM2 A-4 type as used by the Israeli Navy’s Dolphin-class (German Type S-300) submarines and manufactured by the Israeli-owned Grassy Knoll Armament Industries – a well-known Mossad front organisation.
At the end of the day the Yanks – or the South Korean bodgers – need to hold their hands up and admit they dropped a big bollock and loosed a torpedo – possibly by accident or mistake - that impacted the hull of the Cheonan.
Regardless it’s an embarrassing indictment of the accuracy of the exorbitantly priced anti-submarine weapons systems of the US, the world's leading arms exporter. Further, the Americans credibility as South Korea’s superpower guardian goes down the drain while unintentionally advertising NorKor submarines and torpedoes as ‘undetectable’ and the type of hardware that can kick the shit out of anything the Yanks have. Hmmm, nice one Kim.
Further rumours referencing the capture of a Muslim North Korean agent provocateur and known Al Qaeda double agent asset, one Lee Harvey Ki Moon bin Patsy, has led to speculation that it was actually a Taliban ‘Kabul Class’ submarine, financed by Saudi Arabia that carried out the false flag attack and sank the Cheonan to thrust the blame on Pyongyang and divert attentions from the Persian Gulf and Afghanistan arenas of conflict.
To cap it all, Barky O’Barmy’s Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, while on yet another freebie junket – this time to Beijing - has said Washington and Beijing must work together to "fashion an effective response" to the sinking of the Cheonan – possibly to be interpreted as ‘declare war on Pyongyang’.
Speaking in Beijing, the Mena Crime Syndicate Matriarch told anyone interested in her Zionist twaddle that a nuclear armaments-equipped North Korea was a danger to peace throughout the Universe.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Initial reports of the sinking of the South Korean warship Cheonan had provoked fears that the NorKor’s might have attacked the ship with a torpedo for a bit of a laugh and to liven up a dull afternoon’s submarine patrol duty.
However South Korean military authorities then claimed there was no evidence that North Korean forces were to blame, issuing a media statement at the end of March that “Speculation is now turning to the possibility that the Cheonan had perhaps struck a sea mine that had broken free from its mooring.”
Yet despite the South Korean statement and strong denials by the NorKor’s of any involvement - plus expressions of sympathy for lost fellow Koreans – the fingers of Seoul’s Zionist American puppets are now being pointed back at Pyongyang over the tragic sinking of the ROKS 1,200-ton corvette Cheonan (PCC-772) in the Yellow Peril Sea off Baengnyeong Island on the night of March 26th.
Thus, in order to blame the NorKor’s and set the stage for a war that will conveniently displace the unfolding nightmare of the engineered global economic implosion, a joint civilian-military investigation group of military and civilian experts from the US, Israel, Australia and Germany was quickly cobbled together this last week.
Yesterday these so-called self-appointed propaganda disseminators posing as submarine warfare ‘experts’ claimed to have recovered the remains of a torpedo from the sea bed – with identifiable NorKor markings on the propulsion housing.
Excuse me, is any fucker or their dog awake around here? These dodgy ‘marine ordnance experts’ have found the arse end of a TYPE 53-59 torpedo on the sea bed with some ‘North Korean’ characters scribbled on it with chalk. Fer fuck’s sake, gimmee an effin’ break. Does any political or military analyst reading these ‘blame’ reports actually know what torpedoes do?
They get packed chocker block full with mega-kilos (260 kg) of PBX hexogen / aluminium (equivalent to 460 kg of TNT) with magnetic influence and contact fuses and a wake homing sensor and blow the fuck up with so big a bang that the fish for miles around go stone deaf – and blast huge holes in the hulls of whatever they hit – submarines, warships – and corvettes like the Cheonan.
Hence it must be realised that in this destructive act of detonating and ‘blowing up’ when they hit their target not only do they blast a big ‘sink me quick’ hole in the hull they also, by design, totally destruct themselves into ‘sub-atomic’ sized bits.
So, instead of making political ‘hay’ out of a military disaster of their own manufacture due incompetence, and breaking the Ninth Commandment by bearing false witness against their neighbour, the US naval and Seoul-based morons responsible for the sinking obviously need a reminder of what actually took place – and why the Cheonan sank - and stop pointing at Pyongyang as the fall guy.
On March 26th the sinking occurred precisely in the waters where what the Pentagon referred to as the world's largest simulated naval exercise – ‘Key Resolve / Foal Eagle’ was underway.
Among the fleet of hundreds of vessels were four Aegis ships: the USS Shiloh (CG-67), a 9,600-ton Ticonderoga class cruiser, the USS Curtis Wilbur (DDG-54), a 6,800-ton Arleigh Burke class guided-missile destroyer, the USS Lassen, a 9,200-ton Arleigh Burke class guided-missile destroyer and Sejong the Great, a 8,500-ton South Korean guided-missile destroyer - plus a full compliment of US Navy anti-submarine Squadron 7 choppers.
Yep, Aegis class warships – submarine hunters – and a clunky old NorKor diesel-powered fish without AIP propulsion technology sneaks past the lot into the very South Korean waters where the biggest naval exercise in the known Universe is being enacted and fires one of their TYPE 53-59 torpedoes at the Cheonan then escaped wholly undetected back across the 38th Parallel (marine section).
Hence if the South Koreans and the Americans maintain these ridiculous charges that the NorKor’s sank the Cheonan it only serves to demonstrate and highlight the fact that their mega-bucks submarine-hunter Aegis warships are a pile of shite.
It further demonstrates the futility of the US-South Korean joint war games and the neo-colonial US military presence in Korea.
But to let warmongering gossip and conspiracy theories run their course, BP are now claiming the NorKor’s are responsible for torpedoing their Deepwater Horizon drilling rig – the one currently turning the Gulf of Mexico into a massive tar pit – from Key West to Brownsville to Cancun – with Cuba acting as a stopper.
Further rumours that the actual torpedo fragments found were in reality identified as being from the DM2 A-4 type as used by the Israeli Navy’s Dolphin-class (German Type S-300) submarines and manufactured by the Israeli-owned Grassy Knoll Armament Industries – a well-known Mossad front organisation.
At the end of the day the Yanks – or the South Korean bodgers – need to hold their hands up and admit they dropped a big bollock and loosed a torpedo – possibly by accident or mistake - that impacted the hull of the Cheonan.
Regardless it’s an embarrassing indictment of the accuracy of the exorbitantly priced anti-submarine weapons systems of the US, the world's leading arms exporter. Further, the Americans credibility as South Korea’s superpower guardian goes down the drain while unintentionally advertising NorKor submarines and torpedoes as ‘undetectable’ and the type of hardware that can kick the shit out of anything the Yanks have. Hmmm, nice one Kim.
Further rumours referencing the capture of a Muslim North Korean agent provocateur and known Al Qaeda double agent asset, one Lee Harvey Ki Moon bin Patsy, has led to speculation that it was actually a Taliban ‘Kabul Class’ submarine, financed by Saudi Arabia that carried out the false flag attack and sank the Cheonan to thrust the blame on Pyongyang and divert attentions from the Persian Gulf and Afghanistan arenas of conflict.
To cap it all, Barky O’Barmy’s Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, while on yet another freebie junket – this time to Beijing - has said Washington and Beijing must work together to "fashion an effective response" to the sinking of the Cheonan – possibly to be interpreted as ‘declare war on Pyongyang’.
Speaking in Beijing, the Mena Crime Syndicate Matriarch told anyone interested in her Zionist twaddle that a nuclear armaments-equipped North Korea was a danger to peace throughout the Universe.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Fergie’s Renta-Royal Scam Goes Tits-Up
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
‘Shameless’ Sarah Ferguson, aka the Duchess of Pork, has been filmed and recorded offering to sell access to her trade envoy ex-hubby Prince Andrew (for what bankster types refer to as ‘lots and lots of lovely money’) to an undercover Daily Shitraker reporter impersonating an oil-rich Arab sheikh - with the story breaking in the Sunday scandal sheets while she was flying back from yet another freeloading junket to Los Angeles.
The greedy, penny-pinching Duchess of Sleaze was filmed last Tuesday night taking a US $40,000 cash down-payment from undercover reporter Ronnie Snott who was impersonating a Middle Eastern oil-rich potentate Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer – the owner of the Oasis Watering Hole chain, and who claims the hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet within the entire Gulf region.
Prince Andrew’s penniless former wife shit kittens and turned a ghoulish and ashen grey – the colour of cold semen in an IVF test tube - on being informed of the expose – and was said to be 'devastated and regretful' she had been caught red-handed breaking the 11th Commandment – Thou Shalt Not Get Found Out - by being secretly filmed doing dirty deeds to earn a few bob to support her Cinderella girlie lavish lifestyle of hedonistic squandering.
In the covert video recording the prodigal ‘Freebie’ Fergie Beast sets out her stall for the grubby little scam and blatantly put a price tag on an introduction to Britain's trade envoy Prince Andrew, opening the door to lucrative mega-bucks international deals with equally-sleazy Third World Kleptomaniac Party governments on both sides of the Equator.
Andrew, who isn’t precisely the sharpest pebble on the beach – although not quite as thick and cloth-eared as brothers Charlie and Edward – is reportedly ignorant of Fergie’s influence peddling in his name.
Hence, unbeknown to the Prince, Fergie promised to introduce Sheikh al Kaseltzer to him, claimed she'd help fix lucrative business opportunities and then demanded a cut of all profits resulting from the dodgy deals.
She insisted on a one per cent commission on any contracts the Sheikh might strike due to her ‘Royal Connections’ and demanded the balance of the £££ half million quid backhander be wired into her private offshore HSBC bank account in the Outer Spendthrift Islands.
The video soundtrack records her vowing "Treat me like a lady and Andrew will look after your end - you'll get it back tenfold – effin’ mega-bucks.”
Fergie told the shifty Sheikh she’d already discussed the deal with him, claiming "Andrew said to me “Tell the raghead twat it’ll cost him £500,000.”
“So, you see, I can open any door of opportunity that takes your fancy – my legs too if you’re up for a Royal shag and have a spare £100 quid handy."
The greedy 50-year-old slapper, looking well past her use-by date, was then filmed pocketing an extra $40,000 cash down-payment in a stack of Mohammad al Fayed style ‘big brown envelopes’.
Conversely, the loose cannon Duchess's claims that Prince Andrew – an unpaid UK Special Representative for Trade and Investment - could be party to such a scam might well jeopardise Britain's global reputation for ‘honesty and fair play’ – as established and confirmed by the 13 year shining example of ‘unblemished integrity’ displayed by the New Labour government under Bliar and Broon (and Vaz and Scandalson et al).
Further, Fergie’s mercenary willingness to give an unvetted businessman access to her Who's Who contacts / address book of the world's most influential figures – including Ronnie Kissinger’s famous brother Jack, plus Pope Benny Mk XVI, and celebrity child rapist George Herbert Wanker Bush Snr. etc, - raises huge security fears.
However, in her defence, the Dutchess was described affectionately by family and friends alike as a grasping penny-pinching twat - whereas her critics seized on the opportunity to candidly express their opinion that Fergie is a ‘cunt in cunt’s clothing’.
Royal equerry Sir Darlston Thort-Nott informed one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette “This is nothing new with the Fergie Beast – one can take her anywhere twice – the second time to apologise – and give the silver back.”
Since being divorced by Prince Andrew over her propensity for pawning his medals and golf clubs the royal spendthrift has pulled a series of ‘quick buck’ dodgy scams – many of which have fallen under the purview of the Fraud Squad and gutter press.
Her ludicrous autobiography ‘A Day in the Life of a Soft-Boiled Egg’ - followed by the worst-selling “Memoirs of a Royal Moron” – earned her column inches of absolute derision – and absolutely zilch in the way of royalties.
Along with public school chums Candida Mingerot, Cynthia Gamarouche and Sapphie Godemiche, they founded the elite Chlamydia Muffitch Slimmer’s Club which took a complete head-over-tit nosedive when the taxman and creditors turned up simultaneously with the court bailiffs and nicked everything – including the rub n tug massage tables.
Highlighting Fergie’s rollercoaster ride of scandals, the dumpy Duchess was frequently criticised and pilloried by the red top gutter press tabloids for the apparent exploitation of her position and influence peddling – earning herself the derisive moniker of "Freebie Fergie" for taking countless holidays and selling family photos of her children, the Princess’s Gorgonzilla and Eczemalda, to a Moroccan kiddie porn’ magazine.
In 1992, scandalous photographs showing the duchess's ex-financial advisor, Bernie Jackoff, sucking her toes – and various other portions of her disgusting flabby anatomy - were published on page three of the Daily Scumraker.
By 1995 Fergie’s hedonistic wastrel lifestyle had landed her in a scandalous tits-deep quagmire of more than £4 zillion quid in debt, with the Queen taking the unusual step of publicly closing the Royal Purse to her spendaholic daughter-in-law.
After getting her arse evicted from Scummingdale Park Fergie moved to a smaller nine-bedroom house, took up nail biting and psycho-therapy and became more involved in championing charities and worthy causes for aristocrats in need – such as her Sarah Ferguson Benevolent Fund.
After a three month sojourn around hotel bars of the Persian Gulf Emirates on an influence peddling campaign and flogging her golly to curious Arabs with a taste for ‘Royal Pussy’, the Dodgy Duchess had managed to turn enough cash-in-hand / tax-free tricks to clear her debts.
Although her spell as a television chat show hostess was a total disaster, as too her two-book career as an author, a soft-drinks commercial for Slut-Brew and numerous other nickel and dime ventures helped reinvent her as a businesswoman – with a cameo role on the American sitcom ‘Kuntts’ and taking part in The Celebrity Slapper series.
Fergie than became an ambassador for weight loss company Lard Arsed Scrubbers in the US; a spokesperson for the elite cosmetics brand Spotti-Scumm, and did a series of adverts for the prestigious china dinnerware company ‘Ming of Peking’.
Regardless of being stricken with a chronic case of ‘Wasteful Extravagance Syndrome’ plus her burgeoning couch spud weight problems, she resumed a cordial relationship with Prince Andrew, and moved back into a wing of the Royal Dodge at Windsor on the condition she didn’t start pawning the Prince’s medals again or nicking the servant’s tea money.
At the time, her spokeswoman Fellattia van der Gamm denied the Duchess had any further financial worries now she was back with ‘Andy Pandy’.
However as Fergie celebrated her 50th birthday last October, it emerged that Fartmoor LLC, the US company she had a 51% stake in, was to be wound up owing several zillion £££ quid to creditors.
Regardless of this setback to her abysmal business interests her spokeswoman declared the profligate Duchess was "resilient" and still fat enough to "bounce back".
Hmmm, obviously so - by marketing access to her ex-husband Andrew to pay the bills and support her squandering lifestyle.
Okay, let’s now take a look at the actual realities of this calumnious dilemma – from the perspective of the Fraud Squad and the Crown Prosecution Service.
While the egoist Vulgarian might be possessed with the social graces of a rutting hog and cursed by the erroneous belief that Life owes her a living (aristocratic style, please) – plus the minimal IQ of a slack-jawed inbred moron, she has knowingly, and with malice aforethought, now involved herself in a glaring display of criminal activity whichever way it gets looked at.
Hence, if Andrew is whiter than Mother Theresa’s gymslip and would never prostitute his Trade Emissary position for profit, then Fergie is guilty of obtaining money – US$40,000 / £500,000 quid - under false pretences / by deception.
So, are either the Fraud Squad or the CPS going to take an interest in this blatant exhibition of influence peddling and conspiracy to commit fraud and prosecute accordingly – as they would any lesser mortal – for lesser sins?
Now that would be interesting – the Fergie Beast serving a couple of years sentence in one of Her Majesty’s ‘Ladies Only’ rug-munching paradises.
Have you cut any business deals with dodgy Royals? If Fergie called round for a cuppa would you count the teaspoons after? Would you like to meet Prince Philip and get insulted? How about a meet with the Prince of Wales to enjoy a chat with his house plants? Or a bonding session bender with the pissy-arsed ginger-mingin’ royal cuckoo Prince Harry?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a sit down lunch with Prince Andrew at McDonald’s Chew n Spew outlet in Windsor Park.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No members of the Royal household were compromised in posting this message. However, a large number of hangers-on were slightly embarrassed.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
‘Shameless’ Sarah Ferguson, aka the Duchess of Pork, has been filmed and recorded offering to sell access to her trade envoy ex-hubby Prince Andrew (for what bankster types refer to as ‘lots and lots of lovely money’) to an undercover Daily Shitraker reporter impersonating an oil-rich Arab sheikh - with the story breaking in the Sunday scandal sheets while she was flying back from yet another freeloading junket to Los Angeles.
The greedy, penny-pinching Duchess of Sleaze was filmed last Tuesday night taking a US $40,000 cash down-payment from undercover reporter Ronnie Snott who was impersonating a Middle Eastern oil-rich potentate Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer – the owner of the Oasis Watering Hole chain, and who claims the hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet within the entire Gulf region.
Prince Andrew’s penniless former wife shit kittens and turned a ghoulish and ashen grey – the colour of cold semen in an IVF test tube - on being informed of the expose – and was said to be 'devastated and regretful' she had been caught red-handed breaking the 11th Commandment – Thou Shalt Not Get Found Out - by being secretly filmed doing dirty deeds to earn a few bob to support her Cinderella girlie lavish lifestyle of hedonistic squandering.
In the covert video recording the prodigal ‘Freebie’ Fergie Beast sets out her stall for the grubby little scam and blatantly put a price tag on an introduction to Britain's trade envoy Prince Andrew, opening the door to lucrative mega-bucks international deals with equally-sleazy Third World Kleptomaniac Party governments on both sides of the Equator.
Andrew, who isn’t precisely the sharpest pebble on the beach – although not quite as thick and cloth-eared as brothers Charlie and Edward – is reportedly ignorant of Fergie’s influence peddling in his name.
Hence, unbeknown to the Prince, Fergie promised to introduce Sheikh al Kaseltzer to him, claimed she'd help fix lucrative business opportunities and then demanded a cut of all profits resulting from the dodgy deals.
She insisted on a one per cent commission on any contracts the Sheikh might strike due to her ‘Royal Connections’ and demanded the balance of the £££ half million quid backhander be wired into her private offshore HSBC bank account in the Outer Spendthrift Islands.
The video soundtrack records her vowing "Treat me like a lady and Andrew will look after your end - you'll get it back tenfold – effin’ mega-bucks.”
Fergie told the shifty Sheikh she’d already discussed the deal with him, claiming "Andrew said to me “Tell the raghead twat it’ll cost him £500,000.”
“So, you see, I can open any door of opportunity that takes your fancy – my legs too if you’re up for a Royal shag and have a spare £100 quid handy."
The greedy 50-year-old slapper, looking well past her use-by date, was then filmed pocketing an extra $40,000 cash down-payment in a stack of Mohammad al Fayed style ‘big brown envelopes’.
Conversely, the loose cannon Duchess's claims that Prince Andrew – an unpaid UK Special Representative for Trade and Investment - could be party to such a scam might well jeopardise Britain's global reputation for ‘honesty and fair play’ – as established and confirmed by the 13 year shining example of ‘unblemished integrity’ displayed by the New Labour government under Bliar and Broon (and Vaz and Scandalson et al).
Further, Fergie’s mercenary willingness to give an unvetted businessman access to her Who's Who contacts / address book of the world's most influential figures – including Ronnie Kissinger’s famous brother Jack, plus Pope Benny Mk XVI, and celebrity child rapist George Herbert Wanker Bush Snr. etc, - raises huge security fears.
However, in her defence, the Dutchess was described affectionately by family and friends alike as a grasping penny-pinching twat - whereas her critics seized on the opportunity to candidly express their opinion that Fergie is a ‘cunt in cunt’s clothing’.
Royal equerry Sir Darlston Thort-Nott informed one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette “This is nothing new with the Fergie Beast – one can take her anywhere twice – the second time to apologise – and give the silver back.”
Since being divorced by Prince Andrew over her propensity for pawning his medals and golf clubs the royal spendthrift has pulled a series of ‘quick buck’ dodgy scams – many of which have fallen under the purview of the Fraud Squad and gutter press.
Her ludicrous autobiography ‘A Day in the Life of a Soft-Boiled Egg’ - followed by the worst-selling “Memoirs of a Royal Moron” – earned her column inches of absolute derision – and absolutely zilch in the way of royalties.
Along with public school chums Candida Mingerot, Cynthia Gamarouche and Sapphie Godemiche, they founded the elite Chlamydia Muffitch Slimmer’s Club which took a complete head-over-tit nosedive when the taxman and creditors turned up simultaneously with the court bailiffs and nicked everything – including the rub n tug massage tables.
Highlighting Fergie’s rollercoaster ride of scandals, the dumpy Duchess was frequently criticised and pilloried by the red top gutter press tabloids for the apparent exploitation of her position and influence peddling – earning herself the derisive moniker of "Freebie Fergie" for taking countless holidays and selling family photos of her children, the Princess’s Gorgonzilla and Eczemalda, to a Moroccan kiddie porn’ magazine.
In 1992, scandalous photographs showing the duchess's ex-financial advisor, Bernie Jackoff, sucking her toes – and various other portions of her disgusting flabby anatomy - were published on page three of the Daily Scumraker.
By 1995 Fergie’s hedonistic wastrel lifestyle had landed her in a scandalous tits-deep quagmire of more than £4 zillion quid in debt, with the Queen taking the unusual step of publicly closing the Royal Purse to her spendaholic daughter-in-law.
After getting her arse evicted from Scummingdale Park Fergie moved to a smaller nine-bedroom house, took up nail biting and psycho-therapy and became more involved in championing charities and worthy causes for aristocrats in need – such as her Sarah Ferguson Benevolent Fund.
After a three month sojourn around hotel bars of the Persian Gulf Emirates on an influence peddling campaign and flogging her golly to curious Arabs with a taste for ‘Royal Pussy’, the Dodgy Duchess had managed to turn enough cash-in-hand / tax-free tricks to clear her debts.
Although her spell as a television chat show hostess was a total disaster, as too her two-book career as an author, a soft-drinks commercial for Slut-Brew and numerous other nickel and dime ventures helped reinvent her as a businesswoman – with a cameo role on the American sitcom ‘Kuntts’ and taking part in The Celebrity Slapper series.
Fergie than became an ambassador for weight loss company Lard Arsed Scrubbers in the US; a spokesperson for the elite cosmetics brand Spotti-Scumm, and did a series of adverts for the prestigious china dinnerware company ‘Ming of Peking’.
Regardless of being stricken with a chronic case of ‘Wasteful Extravagance Syndrome’ plus her burgeoning couch spud weight problems, she resumed a cordial relationship with Prince Andrew, and moved back into a wing of the Royal Dodge at Windsor on the condition she didn’t start pawning the Prince’s medals again or nicking the servant’s tea money.
At the time, her spokeswoman Fellattia van der Gamm denied the Duchess had any further financial worries now she was back with ‘Andy Pandy’.
However as Fergie celebrated her 50th birthday last October, it emerged that Fartmoor LLC, the US company she had a 51% stake in, was to be wound up owing several zillion £££ quid to creditors.
Regardless of this setback to her abysmal business interests her spokeswoman declared the profligate Duchess was "resilient" and still fat enough to "bounce back".
Hmmm, obviously so - by marketing access to her ex-husband Andrew to pay the bills and support her squandering lifestyle.
Okay, let’s now take a look at the actual realities of this calumnious dilemma – from the perspective of the Fraud Squad and the Crown Prosecution Service.
While the egoist Vulgarian might be possessed with the social graces of a rutting hog and cursed by the erroneous belief that Life owes her a living (aristocratic style, please) – plus the minimal IQ of a slack-jawed inbred moron, she has knowingly, and with malice aforethought, now involved herself in a glaring display of criminal activity whichever way it gets looked at.
Hence, if Andrew is whiter than Mother Theresa’s gymslip and would never prostitute his Trade Emissary position for profit, then Fergie is guilty of obtaining money – US$40,000 / £500,000 quid - under false pretences / by deception.
So, are either the Fraud Squad or the CPS going to take an interest in this blatant exhibition of influence peddling and conspiracy to commit fraud and prosecute accordingly – as they would any lesser mortal – for lesser sins?
Now that would be interesting – the Fergie Beast serving a couple of years sentence in one of Her Majesty’s ‘Ladies Only’ rug-munching paradises.
Have you cut any business deals with dodgy Royals? If Fergie called round for a cuppa would you count the teaspoons after? Would you like to meet Prince Philip and get insulted? How about a meet with the Prince of Wales to enjoy a chat with his house plants? Or a bonding session bender with the pissy-arsed ginger-mingin’ royal cuckoo Prince Harry?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a sit down lunch with Prince Andrew at McDonald’s Chew n Spew outlet in Windsor Park.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No members of the Royal household were compromised in posting this message. However, a large number of hangers-on were slightly embarrassed.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Kenyan Cuckoo Mobilises Carrier Groups
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
If the imminent stock market and banking sector, and burgeoning social order collapses aren’t enough for the administration to keep juggling, President Barky O’Barmy’s kikester string-pullers are now willing to add a fatal dash of geopolitical risk to the current basket case socio-economic and financial quagmire cocktail looming over the good ole US of A like the Grim Reaper on drugs.
The news hot off the presses states that the Kenyan cuckoo has been ordered to boost US military strength in the Mediterranean and Persian Gulf / Arabian Sea regions in the short term with additional air and naval strike forces and 6,000 Marine and sea combatants.
So, as O’Barmy was groomed and put into the White House by laundered Zionist crime cash they thus own him. Ergo, the Israeli kikesters are behind whatever policy he announces as home spun. Further to this complicity the United States government is in bed with these clowns and should also be judged accordingly for moving the next piece on the chessboard to kick start the long-overdue World War Three Armageddon concerto.
With just one aircraft carrier group in close proximity to Iran, the Nobel ‘Peace Prize’ winner (er – for what exactly?) has been directed by his Zionist masters to send a clear message that these superfluous olive branch peace initiatives by Iran, such as agreeing to the enriched uranium swap deal, will no longer be tolerated, and is to increase the US aircraft carrier presence in the region by a five-fold count.
Carrier Strike Group 10, headed by the USS Benedict Arnold aircraft carrier, sailed out of the US Navy base at Norfolk, Virginia on the 21st May. On arrival in the Middle East maritime region it will double the number of US carriers lurking like predatory raptors off Iran.
Until now O’Barmy and the Pentagon chicken hawks have kept just one aircraft carrier stationed off the coast of Iran, the USS Grassy Knoll in the Arabian Sea, in pursuit of the US policy of diplomatic engagement with Tehran.
It is also the first time that O’Barmy, since taking office 14 months ago, has been ordered to dispatch actual human military reinforcements to the Persian Gulf – in readiness for the coming sneak attack on Iran now they have proved themselves incapable of fair play by finally coalescing and accepting the diplomatic option and agreeing to the uranium stockpile swap mandated by the US and the IAEA.
The gospel according to the Warmongers Gazette states the USS Benedict Arnold is just the first element of the new buildup of US resources around Iran. It will take place over the next three months, reaching peak level in late July and early August.
By then, the Pentagon plans to have at least 4 or 5 US aircraft carriers visible from Iranian shores – nicely scheduled to coincide with the in-place Israeli false flag mega-blast dirty bomb nuke attack on some hapless US city (not the Big Bad Apple or Oklahoma City again!) which will point the required fickle finger of Fate directly at the Iranian Revolutionary Guard supplying to Hezbollah.
The USS Benedict Arnold’s accompanying Strike Group includes Carrier Air Wing Three (Battle Axe) – which has 7 squadrons – 4 of F/A-18 Super Hornet and F/A-18 Hornet bomber jets, as well as spy planes and early warning E-2 Hawkeyes that can operate in all weather conditions; the Electronic Attack Squadron 130 for disrupting enemy radar systems (but not S-300 missiles) and Squadron 7 choppers for any North Korean anti-submarine combat.
A further conspiratorial and novel phenomenon will be the presence of a German warship, the frigate FGS Auschwitz, operating under US Navy command.
Another four US warships will be making their way to the region to join the USS Benedict Arnold and its Strike Group. They are the guided-missile cruiser USS Holohoax and guided missile destroyers USS Winnie the Pooh, USS Baron Rothshite and USS Dubya Bush – plus the hospital cum mortuary vessel USS Baron Samedi – loaded with bandages, blood plasma and thousands of body bags.
So, just sit back and enjoy the fun as Iran refuses to be riled or feel threatened by this escalation and decides to take no action whatsoever as AIPAC’s kikester psychopaths push their US Muppets even further into the aggressor’s camp - from which the only escape, to a rational player, would be a first strike attack.
Conversely, and just to piss all over the US Zionist warmonger’s bonfire, during its big naval exercises last week, Iran exhibited their stocks of Sunburst SU-27 and Velayat 89 missiles - ideal for striking US aircraft carriers and Israel missile cruisers from Iranian coastal batteries, warships and submarines – of which they are possessed a’plenty.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
If the imminent stock market and banking sector, and burgeoning social order collapses aren’t enough for the administration to keep juggling, President Barky O’Barmy’s kikester string-pullers are now willing to add a fatal dash of geopolitical risk to the current basket case socio-economic and financial quagmire cocktail looming over the good ole US of A like the Grim Reaper on drugs.
The news hot off the presses states that the Kenyan cuckoo has been ordered to boost US military strength in the Mediterranean and Persian Gulf / Arabian Sea regions in the short term with additional air and naval strike forces and 6,000 Marine and sea combatants.
So, as O’Barmy was groomed and put into the White House by laundered Zionist crime cash they thus own him. Ergo, the Israeli kikesters are behind whatever policy he announces as home spun. Further to this complicity the United States government is in bed with these clowns and should also be judged accordingly for moving the next piece on the chessboard to kick start the long-overdue World War Three Armageddon concerto.
With just one aircraft carrier group in close proximity to Iran, the Nobel ‘Peace Prize’ winner (er – for what exactly?) has been directed by his Zionist masters to send a clear message that these superfluous olive branch peace initiatives by Iran, such as agreeing to the enriched uranium swap deal, will no longer be tolerated, and is to increase the US aircraft carrier presence in the region by a five-fold count.
Carrier Strike Group 10, headed by the USS Benedict Arnold aircraft carrier, sailed out of the US Navy base at Norfolk, Virginia on the 21st May. On arrival in the Middle East maritime region it will double the number of US carriers lurking like predatory raptors off Iran.
Until now O’Barmy and the Pentagon chicken hawks have kept just one aircraft carrier stationed off the coast of Iran, the USS Grassy Knoll in the Arabian Sea, in pursuit of the US policy of diplomatic engagement with Tehran.
It is also the first time that O’Barmy, since taking office 14 months ago, has been ordered to dispatch actual human military reinforcements to the Persian Gulf – in readiness for the coming sneak attack on Iran now they have proved themselves incapable of fair play by finally coalescing and accepting the diplomatic option and agreeing to the uranium stockpile swap mandated by the US and the IAEA.
The gospel according to the Warmongers Gazette states the USS Benedict Arnold is just the first element of the new buildup of US resources around Iran. It will take place over the next three months, reaching peak level in late July and early August.
By then, the Pentagon plans to have at least 4 or 5 US aircraft carriers visible from Iranian shores – nicely scheduled to coincide with the in-place Israeli false flag mega-blast dirty bomb nuke attack on some hapless US city (not the Big Bad Apple or Oklahoma City again!) which will point the required fickle finger of Fate directly at the Iranian Revolutionary Guard supplying to Hezbollah.
The USS Benedict Arnold’s accompanying Strike Group includes Carrier Air Wing Three (Battle Axe) – which has 7 squadrons – 4 of F/A-18 Super Hornet and F/A-18 Hornet bomber jets, as well as spy planes and early warning E-2 Hawkeyes that can operate in all weather conditions; the Electronic Attack Squadron 130 for disrupting enemy radar systems (but not S-300 missiles) and Squadron 7 choppers for any North Korean anti-submarine combat.
A further conspiratorial and novel phenomenon will be the presence of a German warship, the frigate FGS Auschwitz, operating under US Navy command.
Another four US warships will be making their way to the region to join the USS Benedict Arnold and its Strike Group. They are the guided-missile cruiser USS Holohoax and guided missile destroyers USS Winnie the Pooh, USS Baron Rothshite and USS Dubya Bush – plus the hospital cum mortuary vessel USS Baron Samedi – loaded with bandages, blood plasma and thousands of body bags.
So, just sit back and enjoy the fun as Iran refuses to be riled or feel threatened by this escalation and decides to take no action whatsoever as AIPAC’s kikester psychopaths push their US Muppets even further into the aggressor’s camp - from which the only escape, to a rational player, would be a first strike attack.
Conversely, and just to piss all over the US Zionist warmonger’s bonfire, during its big naval exercises last week, Iran exhibited their stocks of Sunburst SU-27 and Velayat 89 missiles - ideal for striking US aircraft carriers and Israel missile cruisers from Iranian coastal batteries, warships and submarines – of which they are possessed a’plenty.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Monday, 24 May 2010
Fortress Baghdad Plans Gaza-Style Wall
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Baghdad is to resort to one of the oldest forms of civil defence by building a massive barrier around the capital to keep out insurgent suicide vest scallies – a daft idea copied from Israel’s Great Apartheid Walls encircling and besieging the hapless Palestinian populations of Gaza and the West Bank.
A series of recent bombings by Israeli and NATO agent provocateur subversives has driven Khara Ibn Himar, the governor of Baghdad, to accept Scalliburton proposals for the concrete palisade, which will be 20 feet high and 70 miles long.
Freedom of movement is to be limited and workers and visitors alike will have to line up and wait for at least an hour to enter the shithole of a city.
Every man and his dog – or goat / camel and cart / vehicle will be searched as they seek entry via the eight gates along the main bomb-cratered highways – which is expected to cause severe disruption as a result – with gridlocks and lines of very exasperated Arab types - and doubtless be the cause of outbreaks of terminal ‘Queue Rage’.
Baghdad - approximately the same size as the City of London and in a similar condition as London was following the WW2 Nazi Luftwaffe Blitz – currently has five million inhabitants with nowhere else to go – thanks to the Coalition of the Willing’s Shock n Awe and Operation Enduring Hardship projects fucking up every bit of infrastructure in the entire country - which Scalliburton got paid exorbitant piles of US taxpayer’s spondoolies for repairing yet actually did sweet fuck all – apart from abduct and snuff mobs of Iraqi children for their perverted pleasures.
Building work is expected to take slightly less than the Great Wall of China – which was cobbled together in just over 600 years with the masons and labourers working overtime in the summer evenings, and at weekends and on bank holidays.
The planned eight city gates will be set up as Oasis service stations for pissed-off commuters, businessmen and peasants alike - with restaurants and rub n tug massage parlours to allow travellers to relax and unwind established on the approach parks. Everything that moves will be searched across ten-lane highways from 6 am until midnight by private contractor Slackwater / XE thugs - with the city remaining under a night-time curfew until 2025.
Construction is to be supervised by the Baghdad Corruption Command, the free-booting unit that reports directly to the Kleptocracy Party Prime Minister, Sharmuta Ibn Zamel. It will also run the checkpoints, aided by an American-designed Diebold computer system holding the fingerprints and voting preferences of known insurgents with any fingers remaining.
Colonel Ghaban Bala’a il A’air chief of the BCC unit told a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette that the wall was "A great waste of concrete - castle walls and sieges went out of fashion centuries ago. These mujahideen scallies will just resort to doing what they do elsewhere against the Zionist Great Satan and their allies – lob missiles over the effin’ wall and cause double helpings of insta-mayhem.”
How do you fancy a 20 foot wall erected around your house to keep out the local yobbo’s and light-fingered pikeys? Stop nosey parker neighbours peeping when you’re having a barbie or enjoying a quick al fresco knee trembler with the missus on the lawn.
Log onto B & Q’s ‘Zionist Apartheid Walls’ website section, complete the “Support Holohoax Denial’ section and you are automatically entered into our ‘Win a Drawbridge’ competition.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of Iraqi peasants were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Baghdad is to resort to one of the oldest forms of civil defence by building a massive barrier around the capital to keep out insurgent suicide vest scallies – a daft idea copied from Israel’s Great Apartheid Walls encircling and besieging the hapless Palestinian populations of Gaza and the West Bank.
A series of recent bombings by Israeli and NATO agent provocateur subversives has driven Khara Ibn Himar, the governor of Baghdad, to accept Scalliburton proposals for the concrete palisade, which will be 20 feet high and 70 miles long.
Freedom of movement is to be limited and workers and visitors alike will have to line up and wait for at least an hour to enter the shithole of a city.
Every man and his dog – or goat / camel and cart / vehicle will be searched as they seek entry via the eight gates along the main bomb-cratered highways – which is expected to cause severe disruption as a result – with gridlocks and lines of very exasperated Arab types - and doubtless be the cause of outbreaks of terminal ‘Queue Rage’.
Baghdad - approximately the same size as the City of London and in a similar condition as London was following the WW2 Nazi Luftwaffe Blitz – currently has five million inhabitants with nowhere else to go – thanks to the Coalition of the Willing’s Shock n Awe and Operation Enduring Hardship projects fucking up every bit of infrastructure in the entire country - which Scalliburton got paid exorbitant piles of US taxpayer’s spondoolies for repairing yet actually did sweet fuck all – apart from abduct and snuff mobs of Iraqi children for their perverted pleasures.
Building work is expected to take slightly less than the Great Wall of China – which was cobbled together in just over 600 years with the masons and labourers working overtime in the summer evenings, and at weekends and on bank holidays.
The planned eight city gates will be set up as Oasis service stations for pissed-off commuters, businessmen and peasants alike - with restaurants and rub n tug massage parlours to allow travellers to relax and unwind established on the approach parks. Everything that moves will be searched across ten-lane highways from 6 am until midnight by private contractor Slackwater / XE thugs - with the city remaining under a night-time curfew until 2025.
Construction is to be supervised by the Baghdad Corruption Command, the free-booting unit that reports directly to the Kleptocracy Party Prime Minister, Sharmuta Ibn Zamel. It will also run the checkpoints, aided by an American-designed Diebold computer system holding the fingerprints and voting preferences of known insurgents with any fingers remaining.
Colonel Ghaban Bala’a il A’air chief of the BCC unit told a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette that the wall was "A great waste of concrete - castle walls and sieges went out of fashion centuries ago. These mujahideen scallies will just resort to doing what they do elsewhere against the Zionist Great Satan and their allies – lob missiles over the effin’ wall and cause double helpings of insta-mayhem.”
How do you fancy a 20 foot wall erected around your house to keep out the local yobbo’s and light-fingered pikeys? Stop nosey parker neighbours peeping when you’re having a barbie or enjoying a quick al fresco knee trembler with the missus on the lawn.
Log onto B & Q’s ‘Zionist Apartheid Walls’ website section, complete the “Support Holohoax Denial’ section and you are automatically entered into our ‘Win a Drawbridge’ competition.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of Iraqi peasants were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Super Oddborne Swears to Solve Debt Crisis
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Libservative Coalition Chancellor ‘Boy George’ Oddborne has accused the previous government of being "totally irresponsible" as an audit of the nation's finances gets under way with hundreds of accounting types tallying up the bundles of IOU’s, half-pennies and farthings left lying around in the Treasury building cellars.
In an interview with the Bean Counters Gazette, Mr Oddborne revealed officials were finding all sorts of "very emaciated skeletons in various cupboards" left by Labour – resulting from their frantic last ditch attempts to disguise the extent of their fiscal mismanagement and shore up the basket case economy to provide senior civil servants mandarins with their expected annual performance bonuses for making a total phuck of things wholly beyond their scope of intellectual understanding.
Well, what can anyone expect after two porridge wogs – Gordon ‘No Mates’ then Darling Alastair – neither of whom ever got a GCE O-Level in Maths - have been in charge of the nation’s piggy bank since 1997.
Oddborne’s announcement comes as the Treasury is set to scrutinise all dodgy spending decisions approved by Shitehall this year and launch the novel Office of Budget Responsibility which is to be staffed by career-orientated self-harming scapegoat types.
This new watchdog will begin its own financial review and utilise the high resolution 24/ infra-red cameras of the KH-12 satellite system, terrestrial nano-technology and a series of strategically deployed electron scanning microscopes fixed to cellphone antenna towers and digitally-linked to Google Earth to detect any instances of economic growth in the UK’s socio-industrial base – which so far this year have only been identified in the prohibited narcotic substances market.
Oddborne, the zillionaire heir apparent to the Bodgeford & Noseberry clockwork hedgehog manufacturing empire, is expected to apply this information in place of the usual error-prone Treasury predictions using the old ouija board, for next month's emergency Penny Pinchers Budget that cynics predict will see VAT and other forms of stealth taxes – particularly on-the-spot fines - levied on rear end flatulence, orgasms, fresh air, unpruned house plants and overweight tomcats.
Before becoming bogged down in this ridiculous power-sharing coalition with the blue-nosed Tories, the Librarian Dummercats had argued that spending cuts should be delayed until 2025 so as not to totally piss off the unemployed proletariat and kick start a nasty revolution.
Conversely the Tweedledee weds Tweedledum same sex marriage (read Wenlock & Manderville) Wonderland coalition deal compelled them to sign up to the immediate budget reduction plan, regardless of the political risks of ending up riding in one of anarchy’s tumbrels.
Later this week, the Lib-Dum’s Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Ronnie Jaws, will meet cabinet colleagues to devise a strategy where the forecast £6 zillion quid’s worth of budget cuts will fall so as not to end up inciting general strikes and bank-burning mobs as per the current Greek Tragedy model.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Libservative Coalition Chancellor ‘Boy George’ Oddborne has accused the previous government of being "totally irresponsible" as an audit of the nation's finances gets under way with hundreds of accounting types tallying up the bundles of IOU’s, half-pennies and farthings left lying around in the Treasury building cellars.
In an interview with the Bean Counters Gazette, Mr Oddborne revealed officials were finding all sorts of "very emaciated skeletons in various cupboards" left by Labour – resulting from their frantic last ditch attempts to disguise the extent of their fiscal mismanagement and shore up the basket case economy to provide senior civil servants mandarins with their expected annual performance bonuses for making a total phuck of things wholly beyond their scope of intellectual understanding.
Well, what can anyone expect after two porridge wogs – Gordon ‘No Mates’ then Darling Alastair – neither of whom ever got a GCE O-Level in Maths - have been in charge of the nation’s piggy bank since 1997.
Oddborne’s announcement comes as the Treasury is set to scrutinise all dodgy spending decisions approved by Shitehall this year and launch the novel Office of Budget Responsibility which is to be staffed by career-orientated self-harming scapegoat types.
This new watchdog will begin its own financial review and utilise the high resolution 24/ infra-red cameras of the KH-12 satellite system, terrestrial nano-technology and a series of strategically deployed electron scanning microscopes fixed to cellphone antenna towers and digitally-linked to Google Earth to detect any instances of economic growth in the UK’s socio-industrial base – which so far this year have only been identified in the prohibited narcotic substances market.
Oddborne, the zillionaire heir apparent to the Bodgeford & Noseberry clockwork hedgehog manufacturing empire, is expected to apply this information in place of the usual error-prone Treasury predictions using the old ouija board, for next month's emergency Penny Pinchers Budget that cynics predict will see VAT and other forms of stealth taxes – particularly on-the-spot fines - levied on rear end flatulence, orgasms, fresh air, unpruned house plants and overweight tomcats.
Before becoming bogged down in this ridiculous power-sharing coalition with the blue-nosed Tories, the Librarian Dummercats had argued that spending cuts should be delayed until 2025 so as not to totally piss off the unemployed proletariat and kick start a nasty revolution.
Conversely the Tweedledee weds Tweedledum same sex marriage (read Wenlock & Manderville) Wonderland coalition deal compelled them to sign up to the immediate budget reduction plan, regardless of the political risks of ending up riding in one of anarchy’s tumbrels.
Later this week, the Lib-Dum’s Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Ronnie Jaws, will meet cabinet colleagues to devise a strategy where the forecast £6 zillion quid’s worth of budget cuts will fall so as not to end up inciting general strikes and bank-burning mobs as per the current Greek Tragedy model.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
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