New Labour’s overblown ‘Nanny State’ - fuelled by its ‘fast, cheap and out of control’ cradle to the grave credo - has gone totally gaga in converting what was once our sceptred isle – this green and pleasant land – into a Kafkaesque / Pavlovian social experiment run by authoritarian despots.
Under the latest piece of stupid legislation to be concocted by the Common Purpose brainwashed bureaucrats at the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money every household pet owner will have to take a costly ‘competence test’ to prove they can handle their hairy, furry, scaly or feathered friends, under new Government proposals designed to curb the spread of ‘fierce creatures’.
Owners of all types of animlals kept as pets would further be coerced by the government’s cash rapists into purchasing third-party insurance to indemnify legal costs and personal injury claims resulting from their ferret, tortoise or budgie attacking the postman or meter reader - and pay for the mandatory sub-dermal insertion of a microchip in each animal recording their name and address.
Dynamic pet ants and trained fleas will, for the present, be exempt from the Verichip requirement as the actual chip is bigger than the insect itself.
The proposals are among a range of measures to overhaul Pet Laws in England and Wales being considered by numpty government panjandrums with nothing better to do, who are eager to push the revenue-generating bill through the House of Conmans before they get voted out of office at the forthcoming general election – to make way for the investment of the next set of political idiots.
However critics informed the Daily Shitraker that responsible pet owners would be penalised by yet more red tape and higher bills – with one self-proclaimed ‘expert’ estimating the extra costs at £60 per dog, cat or goldfish – while irresponsible owners of dangerous pets such as rabid hedgehogs or razor-backed gerbils would just ignore the measures and stay below officialdom’s radar.
They added that genuine animal lovers could end up footing the bill to finance futile efforts to control the legions of ‘devil pets’ that terrorise the dystopian cesspits known as ‘socially deprived housing areas’ - and colloquially referred to as a council’s ‘sink or swim estates’.
RSPCA spokesperson Fellattia van der Gobble told a correspondent for the Cat Chuckers Gazette it would welcome a review of legislation which has so far failed to curb the numbers of dangerous pets that go into attack mode at the slightest provocation.
Further, it is hoped the new laws would address and curb exploitive sports and pastimes such as bunny baiting, duck racing, hamster juggling – and unlicenced cat chucking.
Other proposals due to be floated by the Government include giving the police and local authorities the power to impose Asbos on the pensioner-owners of unruly tomcats and budgerigars.
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
Paddies Give Israel the Big Finger
Once again, the latest and the greatest from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.
Irish Foreign Minister Mick ‘Spud’ Martin has severely castigated an Eire town council's unanimous decision to rip out a page signed by the Israeli ambassador from its VIP guestbook.
Whacky Bogford representatives voted to remove the signature of Sheldon Weaselstein – the Israeli Ambassador - in protest over his country’s appalling diplomatic record concerning illegal invasions, war crimes against the marginalised population of Gaza and using forged Irish passports to facilitate the assassination of political opponents in Dubai – then blaming it on a bunch of Paddy pikeys.
The main topic of protest at a recent council meeting held in the saloon bar of The Turnip Chucker’s Arms concerned the Zionist state oppressing the rightful owners of the country by building the Great Wall of Israel – a thirty-foot high apartheid barrier around Gaza imprisoning the Muslim Palestinian population – to facilitate the IDF’s genocidal ethnic cleansing programme of extermination via the vehicles of starvation, sickness – and their preferred ‘shooting fish in a barrel’ method of conducting warfare.
A man with a big brown dog, known only as Murphy the Goat, told Moses Scumberg, a correspondent for the Shylocks Gazette that “This new Nakba Draft Law you’ve just passed in your nutty Knesset makes it a crime for the Palestinians to commemorate the “Nakba” - the “catastrophe” of their dispossession that you scumbags caused when you created your illegitimate Zionist state in 1948.”
“All you bastards are doing is carrying out pogroms against the true owners of the Holy Land – the Palestinians – with the Nazification of Gaza and the West Bank - and now the Al Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem. You’re turning Gaza into another Auschwitz.”
“It all comes down to your so-called forged Protocols of Zion and this culture of hatred for the goyim. Do you really think you’re going to actually rule the world just because your Torah says so? Nile to Euphrates - and beyond – my ass!”
“This Third World War you and your Zionist yid mates in the US are currently fomenting is going to turn sour and bite you all square in the butt. Just dare to attack Iran and you’ll unleash all the demons in Pandora’s box.”
Conversely Foreign Minister Martin spit the dummy with the Whacky Bogford council and residents declaring that diplomatic representatives should always be treated with respect – even if they are war-mongering criminal scumbags.
However Murphy the Goat and other local officials attending the saloon bar meeting defended the town's decision, stating they hoped it would send a serious message to Israel concerning the empathy felt for the Palestinians by the people of Eire.
"We think if a government is responsible for a wholesale disregard for international law then local authorities, as well as our own government, have a responsibility to tell them we expect a higher standard if they expect us to keep buying their poxy Jaffa oranges.”
As the council retired to the pub’s dining room to tuck into a traditional Irish mixed grill - of boiled taters, roast taters, mashed taters and chips – Murphy concluded “It’s about time these Israeli gits took a long look in the mirror because we’re sick and tired of their usual ‘We’re special – we’re God’s Chosen People” – mantra.”
“But they go off the deep end with their offended kike sensibilities and customary hard-faced brazen hubris - denying any wrongdoing and automatically play their eternal ‘victims’ card and label critics like the good folks of Whacky Bogford – and all and sundry who don’t tow the Jewish / Zionist line– as anti-Semites and Holohoax deniers.”
This political stand and inherent message to Israel sent by the town council has subsequently led to the cancellation of the scheduled Whacky Bogford appearance of the touring ‘Kike Rap’ rock group - Seymour and the Shylocks.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange declaration: No Palestinian civilians or Muslims in general were harmed during the posting of this message. However, a large number of Zionist types were totally pissed off.
Allergy warning : This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel.
Irish Foreign Minister Mick ‘Spud’ Martin has severely castigated an Eire town council's unanimous decision to rip out a page signed by the Israeli ambassador from its VIP guestbook.
Whacky Bogford representatives voted to remove the signature of Sheldon Weaselstein – the Israeli Ambassador - in protest over his country’s appalling diplomatic record concerning illegal invasions, war crimes against the marginalised population of Gaza and using forged Irish passports to facilitate the assassination of political opponents in Dubai – then blaming it on a bunch of Paddy pikeys.
The main topic of protest at a recent council meeting held in the saloon bar of The Turnip Chucker’s Arms concerned the Zionist state oppressing the rightful owners of the country by building the Great Wall of Israel – a thirty-foot high apartheid barrier around Gaza imprisoning the Muslim Palestinian population – to facilitate the IDF’s genocidal ethnic cleansing programme of extermination via the vehicles of starvation, sickness – and their preferred ‘shooting fish in a barrel’ method of conducting warfare.
A man with a big brown dog, known only as Murphy the Goat, told Moses Scumberg, a correspondent for the Shylocks Gazette that “This new Nakba Draft Law you’ve just passed in your nutty Knesset makes it a crime for the Palestinians to commemorate the “Nakba” - the “catastrophe” of their dispossession that you scumbags caused when you created your illegitimate Zionist state in 1948.”
“All you bastards are doing is carrying out pogroms against the true owners of the Holy Land – the Palestinians – with the Nazification of Gaza and the West Bank - and now the Al Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem. You’re turning Gaza into another Auschwitz.”
“It all comes down to your so-called forged Protocols of Zion and this culture of hatred for the goyim. Do you really think you’re going to actually rule the world just because your Torah says so? Nile to Euphrates - and beyond – my ass!”
“This Third World War you and your Zionist yid mates in the US are currently fomenting is going to turn sour and bite you all square in the butt. Just dare to attack Iran and you’ll unleash all the demons in Pandora’s box.”
Conversely Foreign Minister Martin spit the dummy with the Whacky Bogford council and residents declaring that diplomatic representatives should always be treated with respect – even if they are war-mongering criminal scumbags.
However Murphy the Goat and other local officials attending the saloon bar meeting defended the town's decision, stating they hoped it would send a serious message to Israel concerning the empathy felt for the Palestinians by the people of Eire.
"We think if a government is responsible for a wholesale disregard for international law then local authorities, as well as our own government, have a responsibility to tell them we expect a higher standard if they expect us to keep buying their poxy Jaffa oranges.”
As the council retired to the pub’s dining room to tuck into a traditional Irish mixed grill - of boiled taters, roast taters, mashed taters and chips – Murphy concluded “It’s about time these Israeli gits took a long look in the mirror because we’re sick and tired of their usual ‘We’re special – we’re God’s Chosen People” – mantra.”
“But they go off the deep end with their offended kike sensibilities and customary hard-faced brazen hubris - denying any wrongdoing and automatically play their eternal ‘victims’ card and label critics like the good folks of Whacky Bogford – and all and sundry who don’t tow the Jewish / Zionist line– as anti-Semites and Holohoax deniers.”
This political stand and inherent message to Israel sent by the town council has subsequently led to the cancellation of the scheduled Whacky Bogford appearance of the touring ‘Kike Rap’ rock group - Seymour and the Shylocks.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange declaration: No Palestinian civilians or Muslims in general were harmed during the posting of this message. However, a large number of Zionist types were totally pissed off.
Allergy warning : This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel.
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
Holyrood To Pass New Paedo-Protection Law
Once again, the latest and the greatest from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.
Crooked Ministers infesting the halls and cloisters of Edinburgh’s Holyrood Parliament are considering a new tactical law which would serve to prevent members of the outraged British public from stalking and harassing ranking representatives of the establishment’s paedophilia rings - such as police officers, social workers, common or garden Freemasons and attorneys of the exalted judiciary - by text or online – or while stood on an improvised soapbox rostrum at Speaker’s Corner - or outside the Aberdeen branch of Marks & Spencer.
Currently those who behave in such a way simply face a breach of the peace charge – as was instanced by the contrived arrest of one British broadcaster and journalist Robert Green in the Scottish crime capital of Aberdeen on the 12th February for the abhorrent ‘intended’ offence of calling a spade a spade in his crusade for justice for one Holly Greig – a disadvantaged person who was used as a sex toy by the Ferryhill paedophilia circle since she was a child.
Scotland’s Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill, a man whose gelid reptilian touch makes one cringe - and automatically count your fingers after shaking hands with him, wants to create a new offence outlawing "threatening, alarming or distressing behaviour" that could upset the North of the Border pederasts – especially when someone starts asking embarrassing questions about the decades-long institutionalised occurrences of sexual abuse against disabled and special needs children around the Aberdeen area.
The government will seek to change this by lodging an amendment to the Criminal Justice and Licensing (Scotland) Bill, which is now going through the Holyrood Parliament faster than shit through a goose in a pathetic attempt to maintain the cover-up and protect the criminal offenders who continue to molest their child victims with impunity – then hypocritically sit in judgement on others from their seats of jurist authority.
Once the new powers are enshrined in law they will give the bent police and corrupt prosecutors the ability to act against stalkers who send threatening messages stating that ‘Justice Will Be Done’ or ‘Thy Time Hast Come’ via email, text, phone calls – or posting on social networking and alternative news internet sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Twatter or Twaddle - and the number one favourite kiddie fiddling exposure website - Paedo.Watch.
Ghengic McTwatt, Holyrood’s Minister for Catamites, informed Pox News the proposed offences would cover not only the sending of threatening or harassing emails, text messages or phone calls, but also persistent following, pursuing or spying on suspected paedophiles – with the proposed amendment applying especially so alternative news websites publicly announcing that the UK Prime Minister Gordon Broon is a raving pederast in charge of a government crammed chocker with kinky sexual perverts of all carnal fetish persuasions.
Justice Secretary MacAskill, tasked by his corrupt Masters to look after their own, concluded by telling one reporter from the Sodomite’s Gazette "Stalking and being publicly accused of kiddie fiddling can be a deeply frightening experience for victims such as Sheriff Graeme Buchanan and his circle of paedophile Masonic colleagues in Aberdeen - and we want to ensure that the small minority of honest men and women who comprise the ranks of truth and justice-seekers wishing to expose criminal acts of sexual abuse against children are brought to book, permanently gagged and jailed.
"I intend to send out the message loud and clear that if you engage in this offence, there will be no escape, there will be no wriggle room to exploit and you will be met with by the full force of law – especially the scally Banksy wannabee’s who defaced the walls of Aberdeen’s Cheesy Crust Church of the Latter Day Pederasts at weekend with scandalous graffiti regarding the good residents of the Ferryhill area.”
“What the hell are these do-gooders thinking of – challenging the time-honoured traditions and vices of our pillars of Scottish society over the fate of a bunch of disabled no-hopers - Life’s losers – I mean, who really gives a shit about them – or the Children and Young Persons Act of 1937 – or a wee spot of three-hole rape?”
“These Sassenach scallie types would be well served to remember Hollie Greig’s Uncle Robert and what happens when you go sticking your nose into other people’s affairs – and consider if they fancy getting barbied in a car fire too – or found dead in the woods amongst the heather - wrists slashed with a blunt gardening knife.”
“All it takes is a quick call to Mossad on the Holyrood hot line and these mischief-makers simply get found dead in their hotel rooms with a Pestco ‘bag for life’ over their heads.”
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
This post is tagged hollie greig, kidnapping, paedophilia, police state, robert green
Crooked Ministers infesting the halls and cloisters of Edinburgh’s Holyrood Parliament are considering a new tactical law which would serve to prevent members of the outraged British public from stalking and harassing ranking representatives of the establishment’s paedophilia rings - such as police officers, social workers, common or garden Freemasons and attorneys of the exalted judiciary - by text or online – or while stood on an improvised soapbox rostrum at Speaker’s Corner - or outside the Aberdeen branch of Marks & Spencer.
Currently those who behave in such a way simply face a breach of the peace charge – as was instanced by the contrived arrest of one British broadcaster and journalist Robert Green in the Scottish crime capital of Aberdeen on the 12th February for the abhorrent ‘intended’ offence of calling a spade a spade in his crusade for justice for one Holly Greig – a disadvantaged person who was used as a sex toy by the Ferryhill paedophilia circle since she was a child.
Scotland’s Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill, a man whose gelid reptilian touch makes one cringe - and automatically count your fingers after shaking hands with him, wants to create a new offence outlawing "threatening, alarming or distressing behaviour" that could upset the North of the Border pederasts – especially when someone starts asking embarrassing questions about the decades-long institutionalised occurrences of sexual abuse against disabled and special needs children around the Aberdeen area.
The government will seek to change this by lodging an amendment to the Criminal Justice and Licensing (Scotland) Bill, which is now going through the Holyrood Parliament faster than shit through a goose in a pathetic attempt to maintain the cover-up and protect the criminal offenders who continue to molest their child victims with impunity – then hypocritically sit in judgement on others from their seats of jurist authority.
Once the new powers are enshrined in law they will give the bent police and corrupt prosecutors the ability to act against stalkers who send threatening messages stating that ‘Justice Will Be Done’ or ‘Thy Time Hast Come’ via email, text, phone calls – or posting on social networking and alternative news internet sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Twatter or Twaddle - and the number one favourite kiddie fiddling exposure website - Paedo.Watch.
Ghengic McTwatt, Holyrood’s Minister for Catamites, informed Pox News the proposed offences would cover not only the sending of threatening or harassing emails, text messages or phone calls, but also persistent following, pursuing or spying on suspected paedophiles – with the proposed amendment applying especially so alternative news websites publicly announcing that the UK Prime Minister Gordon Broon is a raving pederast in charge of a government crammed chocker with kinky sexual perverts of all carnal fetish persuasions.
Justice Secretary MacAskill, tasked by his corrupt Masters to look after their own, concluded by telling one reporter from the Sodomite’s Gazette "Stalking and being publicly accused of kiddie fiddling can be a deeply frightening experience for victims such as Sheriff Graeme Buchanan and his circle of paedophile Masonic colleagues in Aberdeen - and we want to ensure that the small minority of honest men and women who comprise the ranks of truth and justice-seekers wishing to expose criminal acts of sexual abuse against children are brought to book, permanently gagged and jailed.
"I intend to send out the message loud and clear that if you engage in this offence, there will be no escape, there will be no wriggle room to exploit and you will be met with by the full force of law – especially the scally Banksy wannabee’s who defaced the walls of Aberdeen’s Cheesy Crust Church of the Latter Day Pederasts at weekend with scandalous graffiti regarding the good residents of the Ferryhill area.”
“What the hell are these do-gooders thinking of – challenging the time-honoured traditions and vices of our pillars of Scottish society over the fate of a bunch of disabled no-hopers - Life’s losers – I mean, who really gives a shit about them – or the Children and Young Persons Act of 1937 – or a wee spot of three-hole rape?”
“These Sassenach scallie types would be well served to remember Hollie Greig’s Uncle Robert and what happens when you go sticking your nose into other people’s affairs – and consider if they fancy getting barbied in a car fire too – or found dead in the woods amongst the heather - wrists slashed with a blunt gardening knife.”
“All it takes is a quick call to Mossad on the Holyrood hot line and these mischief-makers simply get found dead in their hotel rooms with a Pestco ‘bag for life’ over their heads.”
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
This post is tagged hollie greig, kidnapping, paedophilia, police state, robert green
Dad Branded a Paedo’ for Taking Piccy of Son
One hapless father who took a ‘memory lane’ picture of his son for posterity while they were out shopping was accused of being a raving paedophile and threatened with arrest by the one of the mall’s moronic security guards.
Ronnie Fuctifino had taken his five-year-old son Shirley to the Freddy Fuckwit Shopping Centre at Smegmadale-on-Sea to spend £10 the boy had been given as a birthday treat by their next door neighbour Ghengis McSodom.
Ronnie told Pox News: "Shirley spotted a children's ride wot had a train on it an’ wanted ter have a go cos he's obsessed wiv anything to do wiv Jimmy Choo Choo and wants ter be a train driver when he eventually grows up.”
"So there’s Shirley goin’ round an’ round an’ me missus, Feryl Beryl, sez “Let’s take a picture of him fer the album on Facebook.”
"Well I takes a piccy wiv me new I-phone like she sez an’ then this security guard gorilla from Renta-Thug comes lopin’ over an’ sez ter me “Wot the fuck yer doin’ bollocks? Yer can’t take photos of little kids cos yer probably one of them effin’ paedo perverts like wot they teach us all about at Common Purpose.”
"Anyways I sez ter him that Shirley’s me own son an’ he comes back wiv “Prove it, punk!”
“So then I sez – ‘Okay, where do I get me DNA checked in this shithole store of yours like?”
“Then he sez they got a real problem with paedo’s comin’ in the mall on kiddie fiddlin’ excursions an’ that if I didn't like it, he'd call the manager and the plods an’ have me arrested.”
“Next thing me an’ the missus an’ young Shirley are walkin’ out of the mall an’ these two plastic plods come over an’ Taser me and clip the cuffs on an’ try ter drag me off ter the slammer – an’ the missus is goin’ effin’ bonkers an’ sticks the nut on ‘em both an’ flattens the sad poofy twats.”
“Then the shit really hits the fan an’ she gets Tasered as well an’ we end up double-bunked in a police cell together an’ Shirley gets put in care an’ sent ter the Ferryhill Orphanage in Aberdeen cos the social services reckon we’re not fit ter be parents.”
When contacted by the Daily Shitraker, Fellattia Gammer, a spokeswoman for the Freddy Fuckwit Shopping Centre, told a reporter "We take all HSE matters and kiddie safety at our shopping centres very seriously and all our security guards from Renta-Thug are thoroughly vetted and brainwashed by Common Purpose prior to deployment.”
The Orwellian Big Brother social engineering group Common Purpose - who give the term ‘politically correct’ a certain stench – is a one of the Illuminati’s Kafkaesque New World Order phenomenons and definitely not to be confused with the sea-going mammal’s charity - Common Porpoise.
Regardless of losing his parents and being shoved into care in the paedophile-friendly haven of Aberdeen, little Shirley still want to be an engine driver with Jimmy Choo Choo’s Rattle Track train service - and definitely not a shit-for-brains security guard.
Ronnie Fuctifino had taken his five-year-old son Shirley to the Freddy Fuckwit Shopping Centre at Smegmadale-on-Sea to spend £10 the boy had been given as a birthday treat by their next door neighbour Ghengis McSodom.
Ronnie told Pox News: "Shirley spotted a children's ride wot had a train on it an’ wanted ter have a go cos he's obsessed wiv anything to do wiv Jimmy Choo Choo and wants ter be a train driver when he eventually grows up.”
"So there’s Shirley goin’ round an’ round an’ me missus, Feryl Beryl, sez “Let’s take a picture of him fer the album on Facebook.”
"Well I takes a piccy wiv me new I-phone like she sez an’ then this security guard gorilla from Renta-Thug comes lopin’ over an’ sez ter me “Wot the fuck yer doin’ bollocks? Yer can’t take photos of little kids cos yer probably one of them effin’ paedo perverts like wot they teach us all about at Common Purpose.”
"Anyways I sez ter him that Shirley’s me own son an’ he comes back wiv “Prove it, punk!”
“So then I sez – ‘Okay, where do I get me DNA checked in this shithole store of yours like?”
“Then he sez they got a real problem with paedo’s comin’ in the mall on kiddie fiddlin’ excursions an’ that if I didn't like it, he'd call the manager and the plods an’ have me arrested.”
“Next thing me an’ the missus an’ young Shirley are walkin’ out of the mall an’ these two plastic plods come over an’ Taser me and clip the cuffs on an’ try ter drag me off ter the slammer – an’ the missus is goin’ effin’ bonkers an’ sticks the nut on ‘em both an’ flattens the sad poofy twats.”
“Then the shit really hits the fan an’ she gets Tasered as well an’ we end up double-bunked in a police cell together an’ Shirley gets put in care an’ sent ter the Ferryhill Orphanage in Aberdeen cos the social services reckon we’re not fit ter be parents.”
When contacted by the Daily Shitraker, Fellattia Gammer, a spokeswoman for the Freddy Fuckwit Shopping Centre, told a reporter "We take all HSE matters and kiddie safety at our shopping centres very seriously and all our security guards from Renta-Thug are thoroughly vetted and brainwashed by Common Purpose prior to deployment.”
The Orwellian Big Brother social engineering group Common Purpose - who give the term ‘politically correct’ a certain stench – is a one of the Illuminati’s Kafkaesque New World Order phenomenons and definitely not to be confused with the sea-going mammal’s charity - Common Porpoise.
Regardless of losing his parents and being shoved into care in the paedophile-friendly haven of Aberdeen, little Shirley still want to be an engine driver with Jimmy Choo Choo’s Rattle Track train service - and definitely not a shit-for-brains security guard.
Crackpot Councils Fine Selves for Parking
According to a report in this morning’s Daily Shitraker a score of local authorities across the UK have issued parking tickets against their own council vehicles - then refused to pay the fines to themselves – which critics have been quick to jump on and point out the fiasco illustrates everything that is wrong with unaccountable parking enforcement in Britain carried out by the traffic wardens from Renta-Moron.
Crackpot councils routinely take themselves to court over disputed parking tickets their wardens have issued to their own vehicles – portraying a classic case of the right hand not having a phucking clue what the left hand is doing.
In one case, Scumborough Hamlets Council in London not only issued a parking ticket to its own vehicle but then chased its own tail at the Parking Adjudicator – plus requested legal costs and damages against itself.
Jacko McTwat, a Sunday Crapmonger columnist and author of the best-selling “Yer Couldn’t Make This Shit Up: Crazy Councils, Meter Madness & Traffic Warden Hell”, who uncovered the practice, further claims that councils also issue parking tickets against other councils, and pursue these cases all the way to the Parking Adjudicator’s desk.
Last year Shitford-on-Sea Council issued a parking ticket to one of its own vehicles. The Highways & Works Department receiving the ticket disputed the validity of the Penalty Charge Notice and appealed against the fine.
The council declined the appeal so the department took the case to the Parking Adjudicator.
At this stage, the council submitted no evidence so the ticket was cancelled.
The department that appealed the ticket then applied to have their costs reimbursed.
The bewildered Adjudicator – Mr Armitage Shanks LLB - did not award costs, stating with more than a hint of sarcasm at the idiotic irony of the situation “The brain-dead Councillor Fuctifino who signed the Penalty Charge Notice is the self-same Councillor Fuctifino who is now appealing to have legal costs reimbused on belhalf of the Highways & Works Department.”
“In my assessment this clot Fuctifino, in applying for costs, is obviously demonstrating that Shitford-on-Sea Council believe that they acted wholly unreasonably or vexatiously against themselves.”
“If they ever make a sequel to the film Dumb and Dumber I would suggest that the producers look no further than Shitford-on-Sea’s Parking Department to fill the starring roles.”
Conversely Shitford-on-Sea is not the only council that has pursued itself at the Parking Adjudicator.
The Royal Borough of Numptygate in London also experienced dire problems dealing with reality and issued a parking ticket against a flatbed vehicle it had hired from Renta-Banger.
The council not only pursued itself at the Parking Adjudicator, but won the case and had to pay itself the parking ticket plus costs.
When they failed to pay themselves the fine within the allotted 14 days, they then opted for the most ludicrous proceedure possible and mobilised bailiffs who seized council property to the amount owed – specifically the offending flatbed truck that the council didn’t own in the first instance.
Allergy warning : This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy.
Crackpot councils routinely take themselves to court over disputed parking tickets their wardens have issued to their own vehicles – portraying a classic case of the right hand not having a phucking clue what the left hand is doing.
In one case, Scumborough Hamlets Council in London not only issued a parking ticket to its own vehicle but then chased its own tail at the Parking Adjudicator – plus requested legal costs and damages against itself.
Jacko McTwat, a Sunday Crapmonger columnist and author of the best-selling “Yer Couldn’t Make This Shit Up: Crazy Councils, Meter Madness & Traffic Warden Hell”, who uncovered the practice, further claims that councils also issue parking tickets against other councils, and pursue these cases all the way to the Parking Adjudicator’s desk.
Last year Shitford-on-Sea Council issued a parking ticket to one of its own vehicles. The Highways & Works Department receiving the ticket disputed the validity of the Penalty Charge Notice and appealed against the fine.
The council declined the appeal so the department took the case to the Parking Adjudicator.
At this stage, the council submitted no evidence so the ticket was cancelled.
The department that appealed the ticket then applied to have their costs reimbursed.
The bewildered Adjudicator – Mr Armitage Shanks LLB - did not award costs, stating with more than a hint of sarcasm at the idiotic irony of the situation “The brain-dead Councillor Fuctifino who signed the Penalty Charge Notice is the self-same Councillor Fuctifino who is now appealing to have legal costs reimbused on belhalf of the Highways & Works Department.”
“In my assessment this clot Fuctifino, in applying for costs, is obviously demonstrating that Shitford-on-Sea Council believe that they acted wholly unreasonably or vexatiously against themselves.”
“If they ever make a sequel to the film Dumb and Dumber I would suggest that the producers look no further than Shitford-on-Sea’s Parking Department to fill the starring roles.”
Conversely Shitford-on-Sea is not the only council that has pursued itself at the Parking Adjudicator.
The Royal Borough of Numptygate in London also experienced dire problems dealing with reality and issued a parking ticket against a flatbed vehicle it had hired from Renta-Banger.
The council not only pursued itself at the Parking Adjudicator, but won the case and had to pay itself the parking ticket plus costs.
When they failed to pay themselves the fine within the allotted 14 days, they then opted for the most ludicrous proceedure possible and mobilised bailiffs who seized council property to the amount owed – specifically the offending flatbed truck that the council didn’t own in the first instance.
Allergy warning : This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy.
Monday, 1 March 2010
Fiasco Week at EUSSR Brussels
Once again, the latest and the greatest from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.
Greek Prime Minister Kostas Fukinopolis upset the politically-correct apple cart yesterday when he came very close to the truth and referred to the dodgy legislators and their venal bankster buddies steering Brussels’ ruling financial cabal “as a bunch of crooked corrupt twats” who had undermined Greece’s sovereignty and were bullying her into a state of eternal penury and debt-laden servitude beholden to the economic beck and call of Zionist Shylock usurers.
The escalating dispute came as a general strike in Greece spilled over into violent clashes between hooded nuns from St Sappho’s Novitiate and riot police in Athens.
Public and private sector unions joined forces with the convent harpies to bring the country to a standstill for 24 hours, halting flights, trains, and shipping, and shutting schools, hospitals and crematoriums – all of which prompted one sarcastic foreign diplomatic observer to comment he didn’t notice any significant difference in the general pace of things, and it was like any other day in the capital.
Conversely the chants of "burn the kike banksters" are perhaps a foretaste of festering tensions yet to manifest themselves once the rabid bite of EUSSR-enforced austerity measures really take effect in the coming months and your average blue-collar – and middle class - Greek joins the burgeoning ranks of unemployed European paupers.
According to the unqualified opinions of certain EUSSR toadies, Greece has greatly damaged its chances of a Brussels-sponsored bail-out after PM Fukinopolis gave Germany a caustic tongue-lashing over war-time atrocities - and further accusing the ever-mordacious Italy of cooking its books to hide public debt.
Herr Seigfried Kunttenberg, Germany’s EUSSR representative, in a typical display of unqualified Teutonic hubris, lectured the Greek delegation on their government’s lackadaisical approach to managing the national economy.
This prompted a vociferous verbal response from Prime Minister Fukinopolis who went into total dummy-spitting mode and declared Germany had no right to reproach Greece for anything after it devastated his country under the Nazi jackboot occupation during the Second World War, which left 300,000 dead.
"These Hitlerite Hun bastards stole our national gold reserves that were deposited in the Bank of Greece, and they never gave it back so it’s no wonder our economy’s all shagged up like a Turkish soup sandwich,” he informed the amused EUSSR assembly and correspondents from the tabloid gutter press.
Twisting an already-bloodied knife further, Fukinopolis then proclaimed in high voice that the current crop of EUSSR leaders were ‘as much use as tits on a bull” and – “a bunch of inept dog-wankers who had make a total bollocks of this month's crisis summit in Brussels”.
"The people who are supposed to be managing the fortunes of Europe are not up to the task. They are simply pushing the agenda of the Zionist cash rapists and usurers," he concluded before storming out of the assembly towards the executive car park where he proceeded to scratch offensive graffitti into the paintwork of Herr Kunttenberg’s official Mercedes limousine with the knurled edge of a five drachma coin.
Fisticuffs actually broke out in the men’s toilets later when Herr Hans-Werner Sinn, head of Germany's IFO Economic Institute, accosted Demetrios Spanakopita - one of Greece’s economic delegation - and declared the situation was surreal. "How can you scum call we Germans a bunch of incompetent Nazis and still expect a bail-out?"
Applying the same Greek rhetoric that led to Thermopylae and the stand of the Spartans, Spanakopita responded that his country was sick of becoming an economic guinea pig for squabbling Eurocracts playing power games and committing fiscal blackmail - then stuck the nut on the arrogant Kraut.
Picking up on the Greek PM’s daming cue concerning the inept bunch of dogwankers comprising the EUSSR’s leadership, Nigel Barrage, the UKIP MEP, leap into the fray and set forth on a self-promoting rampage of customary rudeness by launching a vitriolic attack against Herman Van Rumpy Pumpy, the former Belgian Prime Minister chosen to lead the European Council.
However Barrage now stands accused of opportunistically jumping on PM Fukinopolis’ bandwagon and issuing personal insults to win publicity by labelling the EUSSR’s new President as possessing “the charisma of a wet dishcloth” and dismissing Rumpy-Pumpy’s native Belgium “a total non-entity comprising a half Dutch and half French shithole.”
Calls for Barrage to apologise for his remarks denigrating Mr. Rumpy-Pumpy – especially so references to him “having the personality of a caravan site” and “being as popular as chemotherapy” - have gone unheeded.
In response Mr Van Rumpy Pumpy told reporters that he "would not stoop to that level" to respond to Barrage’s insults – mainly because he couldn’t speak English.
Allergy warning : This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Greek Prime Minister Kostas Fukinopolis upset the politically-correct apple cart yesterday when he came very close to the truth and referred to the dodgy legislators and their venal bankster buddies steering Brussels’ ruling financial cabal “as a bunch of crooked corrupt twats” who had undermined Greece’s sovereignty and were bullying her into a state of eternal penury and debt-laden servitude beholden to the economic beck and call of Zionist Shylock usurers.
The escalating dispute came as a general strike in Greece spilled over into violent clashes between hooded nuns from St Sappho’s Novitiate and riot police in Athens.
Public and private sector unions joined forces with the convent harpies to bring the country to a standstill for 24 hours, halting flights, trains, and shipping, and shutting schools, hospitals and crematoriums – all of which prompted one sarcastic foreign diplomatic observer to comment he didn’t notice any significant difference in the general pace of things, and it was like any other day in the capital.
Conversely the chants of "burn the kike banksters" are perhaps a foretaste of festering tensions yet to manifest themselves once the rabid bite of EUSSR-enforced austerity measures really take effect in the coming months and your average blue-collar – and middle class - Greek joins the burgeoning ranks of unemployed European paupers.
According to the unqualified opinions of certain EUSSR toadies, Greece has greatly damaged its chances of a Brussels-sponsored bail-out after PM Fukinopolis gave Germany a caustic tongue-lashing over war-time atrocities - and further accusing the ever-mordacious Italy of cooking its books to hide public debt.
Herr Seigfried Kunttenberg, Germany’s EUSSR representative, in a typical display of unqualified Teutonic hubris, lectured the Greek delegation on their government’s lackadaisical approach to managing the national economy.
This prompted a vociferous verbal response from Prime Minister Fukinopolis who went into total dummy-spitting mode and declared Germany had no right to reproach Greece for anything after it devastated his country under the Nazi jackboot occupation during the Second World War, which left 300,000 dead.
"These Hitlerite Hun bastards stole our national gold reserves that were deposited in the Bank of Greece, and they never gave it back so it’s no wonder our economy’s all shagged up like a Turkish soup sandwich,” he informed the amused EUSSR assembly and correspondents from the tabloid gutter press.
Twisting an already-bloodied knife further, Fukinopolis then proclaimed in high voice that the current crop of EUSSR leaders were ‘as much use as tits on a bull” and – “a bunch of inept dog-wankers who had make a total bollocks of this month's crisis summit in Brussels”.
"The people who are supposed to be managing the fortunes of Europe are not up to the task. They are simply pushing the agenda of the Zionist cash rapists and usurers," he concluded before storming out of the assembly towards the executive car park where he proceeded to scratch offensive graffitti into the paintwork of Herr Kunttenberg’s official Mercedes limousine with the knurled edge of a five drachma coin.
Fisticuffs actually broke out in the men’s toilets later when Herr Hans-Werner Sinn, head of Germany's IFO Economic Institute, accosted Demetrios Spanakopita - one of Greece’s economic delegation - and declared the situation was surreal. "How can you scum call we Germans a bunch of incompetent Nazis and still expect a bail-out?"
Applying the same Greek rhetoric that led to Thermopylae and the stand of the Spartans, Spanakopita responded that his country was sick of becoming an economic guinea pig for squabbling Eurocracts playing power games and committing fiscal blackmail - then stuck the nut on the arrogant Kraut.
Picking up on the Greek PM’s daming cue concerning the inept bunch of dogwankers comprising the EUSSR’s leadership, Nigel Barrage, the UKIP MEP, leap into the fray and set forth on a self-promoting rampage of customary rudeness by launching a vitriolic attack against Herman Van Rumpy Pumpy, the former Belgian Prime Minister chosen to lead the European Council.
However Barrage now stands accused of opportunistically jumping on PM Fukinopolis’ bandwagon and issuing personal insults to win publicity by labelling the EUSSR’s new President as possessing “the charisma of a wet dishcloth” and dismissing Rumpy-Pumpy’s native Belgium “a total non-entity comprising a half Dutch and half French shithole.”
Calls for Barrage to apologise for his remarks denigrating Mr. Rumpy-Pumpy – especially so references to him “having the personality of a caravan site” and “being as popular as chemotherapy” - have gone unheeded.
In response Mr Van Rumpy Pumpy told reporters that he "would not stoop to that level" to respond to Barrage’s insults – mainly because he couldn’t speak English.
Allergy warning : This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Top Met’ Plods Misuse Anti-Terror Funds
Britain’s most powerful police body - which for some obscure dodgy reason is run as a private business (Greedy_Plod.com) - has spent zillions of pounds earmarked for counter-terrorism projects - such as the vaunted Spot.a.Scally and Manky Mosque Watch Sentinel programmes - on luxury London flats for their senior officers.
The spending on an undisclosed number of apartments (28) in the Westminster area is understood to be about £10.6 zillion quid annually.
The payments are taken directly from taxpayer funding provided to the money-grasping Association of Criminal Police Officers (ACPO) by the Home Office to tackle the fanciful terrorist threat across Britain – which obviously includes buying up luxury apartments that Islamic Jolly Jihadi terrorists might otherwise operate out of.
The funding – £33 zillion last year – is supposed to be used to beef up regional police forces’ anti-terrorism response and pay for crucial hi-tech equipment – such as boots and handcuffs.
Instead, the ACPO’s Terrorist Investigation Tactics (TIT) committee, headed by Assistant Commissioner Jack McKuntt, has used zillions of pounds from the budget to pay for the refubishment of their apartments and the fitting of IMAX home cinemas, saunas and jacuzzi whirlpools – such as evidenced at Mayfair’s Plod Hamlets complex.
Regular readers of the tabloid gutter press will no doubt recall that Assistant Commissioner McKuntt headed the controversial New Labour cash-for-honours inquiry coverup and whitewash in 2006.
Last night the ACPO refused to disclose how many apartments it was paying for, or who was receiving the dodgy perks, but all are said to be well-appointed penthouse suites with a spledid panoramic view of the Scotland Yard gardens and the extraordinary rendition centre's torture chambers.
While the ACPO may well insist all the apartments are ‘occupied’ by their senior officers, one well-placed insider snitch who spoke to the Daily Shitraker on conditions of anonymity (Sgt. Vic McGrasser) related that a lot of the top rank plods actually sub-let their gaffs to banksters, Mossad agents, drug cartel chiefs and other career criminals to finance their Madame Spanker dominatrix fetishes, kinky call boy habits, hard core narcotic addictions and high maintenance gambling manias.
Local estate agents ‘Cardboard Box’ and ‘Evictors’ both related the cheapest three or four-bedroom flats in the area cost £2,400,000 to buy or at least £850 a week to rent - but with the top brass officer class requiring more ‘secure locations’ the flats are rumoured to cost the public purse substantially more.
The ACPO is already under fire for its burgeoning tax-exempt commercial activities. Last year The Sunday Scandalmonger disclosed it was selling information from the Police National Computer data banks for up to £70 a throw to anyone who wanted it.
A further breach of trust was their operating yet another separate private firm Scally.Watch - offering training to speed-camera operators, which was run by a senior officer who had been banned from driving for being pissed behind the wheel and doing a hit-and-run job on a group of Darby & Joan Club pensioners.
This disturbing news led to awkward questions being fronted in the House of Conmans by Tory chief Posh Dave Cameron about the ACPO’s purported central role in policing and evolving tactics on anti-terrorist operations, as well as campaigning on key issues such as the proposed 90-day detention for terror suspects and the enlargement of the national DNA database to impose the compulsary inclusion of every bugger and their dog – and goldfish.
The ACPO president Sir Hugh Deficit responded to government pressures by pledging to reform the organisation, admitting its role as a private firm paid zillions a year from the taxpayer’s purse to effectively run the nation’s police forces was an absolute joke – and not even a funny one at that.
Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary, the toothless police watchdog, went further, stating ‘The ACPO’s status as a private limited company works in direct conflict of interest to transparent accounting when it’s committee are time-sharing with drug dealers, white slavers, kiddie filth pornographers, establishment paedophiles, and other assorted criminal types’.
Conversely Assisstant Commissioner McKuntt told Fux News ‘The ACPO was set up post-9/11 and a massive amount of work was thereafter initiated to ensure that the UK had a national structure in place to tackle terrorism – and to give assistance to our mates from Mossad who were here carrying out false flag attacks on the London Underground – and to provide UK passports for their bungling assassination teams in Dubai.”
“I mean, just look at all the intel’ work we’re involved in for the Ministry of Propaganda and Public Scaremongering alone – arranging frame up jobs on Muslim beardie types like yer 7/7 bombers from Leeds – Mohammed al Patsy and his gang – and people begrudge us a big of luxury comfort to relax after a hard day defending the realm against foreign terrorists and running around like a bunch of blue-arsed flies setting up fall guys to take the blame for the real villains from the CIA and Tel Aviv.”
The spending on an undisclosed number of apartments (28) in the Westminster area is understood to be about £10.6 zillion quid annually.
The payments are taken directly from taxpayer funding provided to the money-grasping Association of Criminal Police Officers (ACPO) by the Home Office to tackle the fanciful terrorist threat across Britain – which obviously includes buying up luxury apartments that Islamic Jolly Jihadi terrorists might otherwise operate out of.
The funding – £33 zillion last year – is supposed to be used to beef up regional police forces’ anti-terrorism response and pay for crucial hi-tech equipment – such as boots and handcuffs.
Instead, the ACPO’s Terrorist Investigation Tactics (TIT) committee, headed by Assistant Commissioner Jack McKuntt, has used zillions of pounds from the budget to pay for the refubishment of their apartments and the fitting of IMAX home cinemas, saunas and jacuzzi whirlpools – such as evidenced at Mayfair’s Plod Hamlets complex.
Regular readers of the tabloid gutter press will no doubt recall that Assistant Commissioner McKuntt headed the controversial New Labour cash-for-honours inquiry coverup and whitewash in 2006.
Last night the ACPO refused to disclose how many apartments it was paying for, or who was receiving the dodgy perks, but all are said to be well-appointed penthouse suites with a spledid panoramic view of the Scotland Yard gardens and the extraordinary rendition centre's torture chambers.
While the ACPO may well insist all the apartments are ‘occupied’ by their senior officers, one well-placed insider snitch who spoke to the Daily Shitraker on conditions of anonymity (Sgt. Vic McGrasser) related that a lot of the top rank plods actually sub-let their gaffs to banksters, Mossad agents, drug cartel chiefs and other career criminals to finance their Madame Spanker dominatrix fetishes, kinky call boy habits, hard core narcotic addictions and high maintenance gambling manias.
Local estate agents ‘Cardboard Box’ and ‘Evictors’ both related the cheapest three or four-bedroom flats in the area cost £2,400,000 to buy or at least £850 a week to rent - but with the top brass officer class requiring more ‘secure locations’ the flats are rumoured to cost the public purse substantially more.
The ACPO is already under fire for its burgeoning tax-exempt commercial activities. Last year The Sunday Scandalmonger disclosed it was selling information from the Police National Computer data banks for up to £70 a throw to anyone who wanted it.
A further breach of trust was their operating yet another separate private firm Scally.Watch - offering training to speed-camera operators, which was run by a senior officer who had been banned from driving for being pissed behind the wheel and doing a hit-and-run job on a group of Darby & Joan Club pensioners.
This disturbing news led to awkward questions being fronted in the House of Conmans by Tory chief Posh Dave Cameron about the ACPO’s purported central role in policing and evolving tactics on anti-terrorist operations, as well as campaigning on key issues such as the proposed 90-day detention for terror suspects and the enlargement of the national DNA database to impose the compulsary inclusion of every bugger and their dog – and goldfish.
The ACPO president Sir Hugh Deficit responded to government pressures by pledging to reform the organisation, admitting its role as a private firm paid zillions a year from the taxpayer’s purse to effectively run the nation’s police forces was an absolute joke – and not even a funny one at that.
Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary, the toothless police watchdog, went further, stating ‘The ACPO’s status as a private limited company works in direct conflict of interest to transparent accounting when it’s committee are time-sharing with drug dealers, white slavers, kiddie filth pornographers, establishment paedophiles, and other assorted criminal types’.
Conversely Assisstant Commissioner McKuntt told Fux News ‘The ACPO was set up post-9/11 and a massive amount of work was thereafter initiated to ensure that the UK had a national structure in place to tackle terrorism – and to give assistance to our mates from Mossad who were here carrying out false flag attacks on the London Underground – and to provide UK passports for their bungling assassination teams in Dubai.”
“I mean, just look at all the intel’ work we’re involved in for the Ministry of Propaganda and Public Scaremongering alone – arranging frame up jobs on Muslim beardie types like yer 7/7 bombers from Leeds – Mohammed al Patsy and his gang – and people begrudge us a big of luxury comfort to relax after a hard day defending the realm against foreign terrorists and running around like a bunch of blue-arsed flies setting up fall guys to take the blame for the real villains from the CIA and Tel Aviv.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)