Mayhem Sacks Tory Porn Minister

In today’s Political Paybacks expose edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing authoritarian 0:01% oligarchy that believe they rule this world and all upon its mantle.

Mother Theresa 'The Appeaser' Maybot, has finally put her foot down – with a firm hand. Unfortunately not with Brussels' scheming EUSSR kleptocrats viz their bizarre Brexit compliance demands – but rather the Nasty Party's Porn Minister, Dirty Damian Greenfly – who refused to do 'the right thing' and fall on his own sword – or even resign with dignity. Hence Terry Mayhem went into 'no options' cornered rat mode and fired his onanist arse.

Health Minister Jeremy Kunt took time off from his conspiratorial 'behind the scenes' wheeler-dealing with for-profit parties of self-interest to finalise the privatisation of Broken Britain's once-iconic National Ill-Health Service - to speak with a gutter press hack from the Daily Shitraker – relating that PM Maybot had acted with a heavy heart in sacking Damian Greensleeves for breaching the ministerial code – specifically for getting caught doing so.

Though Kunt poses the question: what other option was open to her after Green told a load of 'cover my ass' porky pie denials regarding a leaked Plod Squad report that his House of Conmans office computer was chocker with gnarly porn video clips?

Secretary Kunt added that questions remained viz the moral – and possibly 'criminal' - conduct of the ex-police officer who leaked details of the pornography stash on Greengage's Parliament office computer.

Conversely arch-EUSSR Remainiac Green continues to lie through his back teeth, maintaining to the Biased Broadcasting Corp's political hack, Laura Kuntsberg, the libellous allegations that he downloaded and viewed all manner of XXX-rated porn video clips (zoophilia, pederasty, necrophilia) in the purported privacy of his House of Conmans office are a political smear 'hit job' by Tory Brexiteer agents (and Labour's Corbynistas) - to malign his character and create Cabinet space for Jacob Rees-Mogg's ego.

However, the Parliamentary expenses-fiddling Greenleaf is rumoured to have mustered up the common decency to apologise for sending sexually suggestive text messages to young Nasty Party activist, Kate Maltby in 2015 – though vehemently denies he made inappropriate advances – specifically shoving his hand up her kilt and tickling her snatch - while whispering "I think you're a bit of an all-round Malt-Teaser."

Ex-Met Detective-Sergeant Ron McSnitch – (he of Hillsborough disaster cover-up notoriety) – interviewed on the BBC's Andrew 'Bat Ears' Marr 'Character Assassinations Hour' programme – related "I leaked de story cos it woz in der public interest – an' bollocks ter breachin' this Data Protection Act - plus the Daily Shitraker shoved a shedload of tax-free readies in me Swiss bank account fer grassin' the old wanker up."

"If Joe Public only knew wot I found out about these MP shits while I woz on active duty wiv the Met. Yeah okay, they start off wiv a couple of hetero missionary position porn clips ter wank off ter, then it's doggy style an' three-holin' – then they're inter peggin' flicks – then BD/SM - then it's Black Mass Satan worship paedo snuff movies – an' before yer know it the fuckers are around at Dolphin Square an' the Kaiser's Elm Guest House wiv their Masonic pals - shaggin' little kids up the jacksy."

Obviously, now the proverbial excrement has hit the fan, a cross party clique of MPs who constitute the Vulgarians Committee are shitting kittens regarding the alleged actions of retired detective Ron McSnitch and his leaking of what amounts to suppressed criminal activity evidence into the public arena – and while pondering on the troublesome thought of 'Who's next'? in line for disclosure of their underage sex indiscretions – or vile felching activities - have directed the Lower House Speaker, John 'Shortarse' Bercow, to refer a complaint to the Data Regulator for apparent disclosure to the gutter press media of confidential material evidence gathered during the original 2008 Plod Squad investigation.

Deputy Information Commissioner, Candida Mingerot, informed media sources that "These are serious allegations and such will be investigated - once we all sober up after the Xmas holidays - to determine whether the law has been broken; and what further action is necessary to protect erring MPs - and their Upper House of Frauds contemporaries - from potential criminal prosecution for simply viewing a few sicko kiddie fiddling porn video clips."

Hmmm, so typical of any politico caught with his fingers where they shouldn't be – in the cookie jar – or up Ms Maltloaf's dress – Greenfly continues to deny downloading or viewing nasty masturbation fantasy porn on his House of Conmans computer.

However, since his firing Mr Greenleaf tweeted he's been 'emotionally moved to tears' by supportive messages from online Dark Web porn aficionados and fellow onanists.
"I am overwhelmed by the number of friends, colleagues and constituents who have sent supportive messages since that rotten bitch Terry Mayhem fired me. My thanks to you all, and a Happy Downloading Christmas. See you all in HMP Wandsworth in 2018."

Thoughts for the day. Profile: Who the fuck is Damian Greenfly? Was Ms First Malt really groped by Minister Green? Did a police vendetta topple Damian Greensleeves? Is the moronic Met Plod Squad's Total Fuckups Division involved? Was the intellectually-challenged DC Mark 'The Bungler' Azariah on the case - the same tosser who screwed up the prosecution evidence in the recent Liam Allan and Isaac Itiary rape cases through a mix of incompetence and malicious evidence tampering?

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
An anti-authoritarian counter-culture alternative opinion blog and free radical alternative media source 'not owned' by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the ultra-racist Edomite Mafia 'Kosher Nostra' bankster crime syndicate - and committed to the relay of open source information – plus 'hopefully' immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

(Unless one has the audacity to support the pro-Palestinian BDS campaign and criticise Zionist Israel's human rights abuses and war crimes – or dare mention the dirty dealings of the Met's PPU (Paedophile Protection Unit ) or expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Nottingham's Nasty Paedo Club or Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle arse bandit / Violate BD/SM Club VIP (Very Important Pederast) kiddie fiddling Edinburgh / Balmoral / Glencoe / Cringemonogate / Aberdeen-based cabal – along with their Westminster and Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office / Secret Squirrel Security Services / Plod Squad sodomite - paedo-enablers / cover-up protectors).