Sunday, 8 January 2017

Brits Wake Up: Defund Afro Girly Band

In today’s ‘Taxpayer Ripoffs Expose’ counter-culture edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from our battlefront cross-dressing media correspondent, Jack 'Call Me Mollie' McSkanger - manning the live news cellphone hotline from Addis Ababa for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to House of Conmans tittle-tattles, Broken Britain's taxpayers will no longer have their hard-earned £ pounds n pence squandered on funding a five-member Ethiopian girly band.

International Development Secretary Shiti Pratel (Tory MP for the Essex' 'Withering' constituency) announced a review of the illogical funding after reports that split arsed pop group Smegma received £5.2 million quid in foreign aid – aka cash from the public purse.
Slut Effect, the Ethiopian group which manages Smegma and promotes women's rights in the backward excuse for a country, claims its money-grubbing aims had been 'wilfully misrepresented'.

Really, WTF is the Ministry for Wasting Public Money doing funding second rate girly bands in some Third World political chaos shithole like Ethiopia – when they can't even provide for an ailing NHS - and our own homeless, unemployed and elderly citizens in need?

As if anyone with two ounces of common sense to rub together wants to waste public resources on a hopeless case dump like Ethiopia – but conversely some shit-for-brains do-gooder might well do so – then let the Italian Wops look after the place and fund the girly band wanabees – for it was, after all, one of their colonial conquests that Mussolini's fascist regime took great pains to bomb into submission in the mid-1930's – then left in an even bigger socio-economic-political mess than when they first arrived.

A Christmas wake-up call leaked by Parliamentary whistle-blowers revealed that the five-piece girly band, Smegma, had been given a £5.2 million nicker grant as part of a three year programme aimed at empowering women in Ethiopia – a basket case failed state still under an iron rod six-month state of emergency in the face of a wave of unprecedented anti-government protests last October.

However, since this piece of news was leaked and the proverbial crap hit the fan, the Shitrakers Gazette sarcastically dubbed the band 'Ethiopia's Spice Girls' and claimed that grants to the group were a waste of money – a fact followed up by International Development Minister Shiti Pratel, who informed gutter press media hacks that '"there are more effective ways to squander UK foreign aid cash – and defunding the Smegma band will free up £5 million quid that can be put to better use by the RAF – bombing Syrian troops and civilians around Aleppo."

The five-strong female Smegma pop group was founded in 2013 aiming to tackle issues including domestic violence, forced marriage and female genital mutilation through their songs and online videos.
Its members are all in their early twenties and adopted the nom de guerre stage names of Lemsip, Vimto, Prozac, Spam and Meerkat – after the contents of their shared apartment kitchen shelves.

Until Mrs Pratel slashed their funding source earlier this week they performed a weekly drama and talk show on Ethiopian radio, as well as running a YouTube channel – and won local acclaim with their first 'hit' (sic) – 'Rastafarian Caesarean' four years ago - and recently released their latest song, Kitehen Lebdaw Gela Tebi, which roughly translates as 'Fuck Your Ass, Cocksucker' in Ethiopia's official Amharic language – a high pitched ballad reminiscent of a sack of tomcats being subjected to a good 'old time religion' Sharia Law crowd kicking.

Thought for the day. Money for foreign aid galore - but how much do Broken Britain's homeless n unemployed get? Sweet fuck all.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness. An anti-authoritarian counter-culture news sheet and free radical alternative media source not owned by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the ultra-racist ZioNazi Edomite Mafia 'Kosher Nostra' crime syndicate – and committed to the relay of open source information – plus 'hopefully' immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office / Secret Squirrel Security Services sodomite - paedo-enablers / cover-up protectors).

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