Muslim Refugees Get 'Terrorist Housing'

In today’s ‘Enhanced Islamophobia’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Ghaban ibn Himar, manning the mobile I-Spy editorial desk outside London's MI5 HQ for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Questions are being raised this week, not only in the House of Conmans 'and' the Upper House of Frauds, but also by the United Nations Human Right & Wrongs Commission, concerning the fate of a missing British Muslim schoolboy who mistakenly wrote in a class essay that he lived in a 'terrorist house' rather than a 'terraced house'.

In a blatant attempt by officialdom to further demonise Islam and its Muslim adherents in the eyes of Broken Britain's gullible common herd demographic, the boy was arrested at school in Lancashire last December by members of the local Plod Squad and questioned if he had information about Arab jihadist types impersonating Brazilian electricians - or had been groomed online for bum sex by members of a Westminster paedo ring.

Further lines of inquiry concerned the contents of his personal 'apostate' Father Christmas wish list essay in which he'd written "I wants one of them big shiny AK47 assault rifles wiv a banana clip like wot me Uncle Mohammad al Ka-Boom's got in Syria fer shootin' Basher Assad's heathen Shi'ite scumbag soldiers."

The 10-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons (Achmed Neekni Sahrawi of 14, Suicide Vest Crescent, Accrington, Lancs.) made the spelling mistake during an English lesson at his local Sheikh Fizzy Al Kaseltzer Primary School last December when writing a Yuletide festive season themed essay regarding his Christmas pressy wish list posted to Santa's North Pole HQ – informing the aforesaid red-clad Saint Nick that he hoped he could slide down the chimney okay as Achmed lived in a small 'terrorist house'.

The morning following his arrest, Achmed was grabbed from Accrington police cells by MI5 thugs under the provisions of Schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act 2000, dumped head-first into a body bag sized North Face holdall, and transferred on a covert Sleazy Jet rendition flight, along with captured members of the feared Mohammed al Patsy suicide bomber gang, to one of their foreign-based 'black site' interrogation units – specifically Israel's notorious Facility 1391 Prison – infamous for pick n mix torture techniques, kicking pregnant Palestinian women into states of bloody miscarriage; and non-kosher goyim Arab detainees being released with a kidney missing – an IDF ZioNazi trick picked up 'for profit' from the Peoples' Utopia of China transplant organ thieving penal system.

Grapevine gossip holds that Achmed was grassed up by his class teaching assistant, Ms Fellatia McSnitch, a volunteer Community Enforcement Officer and member of the Accrington Schadenfreude Club – who human rights activists have tagged as a class act Orwellian establishment 'good citizen' / brownie points moron – brain dead to the extent she could not to see the funny side of little Achmed's simple faux pas – and in fact should be fired for failing to teach him to spell correctly.

Accrington Plod Squad boss, Chief Inspector Ron 'Piggy' Trotter, informed press hacks from the red top Mujahideen Gazette tabloid that "Young Achmed woz only the start of this radicalisation inquiry cos once we got inter the nitty-gritty of it, his school pal Mustapha had written a wish list letter ter Father Christmas as well, wot said, an' here I quote: "... an' if Santa's up ter it, I could do wiv a set of them dead sharp Argos kitchen knives like wot Jihadi John's got stuck in his belt in the online ISIS videos an' chops the effin' heads off infidel shits wiv."

"Really, I ask yer, what the fuck are these Muslim sprogs doin' writin' letters ter a mythical Christian saint fer – soddin' religious hypocrites ter my mind. An' why can't they be happy just readin' the Dandy an' Beano like wot normal kids do – an' not this online Jolly Jihad comic wot ISIS puts out fer them?"
"In my unqualified opinion little Achmed was well on his way ter becomin' the next Osama bin Bag, or whatever the fuck that bloke's name woz wot run the Big Al Qaeda terrorist gang up in Afghanistan – or doin' a bunk an' joinin' Hamas Gaza Gangsters."

"Luckily, an' thanks ter the Nasty Party's Home Secretary, Terry May, pushin' through the new 2015 Counter-Terrorism and Security Act, Achmed an' his pals can be monitored 24/7 and detained for 28 days - or indefinitely – whatever comes first - while we concoct a strew of stitch-up evidence against them."

"Then we can have 'em taken inter care an fostered out ter a decent no-nonsense Roman Catholic boardin' school run by Ninth Circle Orgia Jesuit brothers, where they'll be made ter convert ter Christianity an' worship the One True God – an' get shagged up the rear end by pervy priests until they can recite the Holy Rosary prayers off ter perfection."
"An that folks is one of the four elements comprisin' our once-sceptred isle’s all-new 'Prevent' counter-terrorism strategy."

Conversely, Achmed's Mum, Mrs Sharmuta Neekni Sahrawi , accompanied by co-offender Mustapha's Ma, Mrs Zeenat Bala’a il A’air – (both granted Syrian refugee status asylum in the UK after their doctor husbands fell victim to an RAF Tornado's slightly off-target laser guided 'smart bomb' (sic) which flattened their Aleppo-based medical clinic) - were interviewed for Channel 69's 'Semtex Scallies' expose special – defending their children's Xmas wish list scribbling as 'misguided' and heaping the blame on a certain Mr Ras al Shitbag, a cleric at their local Mosque's Islamic instruction 'madrassa' for attempting to legitimise terrorism and radicalising the juvenile attendees into becoming Takfiri jihadists and 'shaheed' suicide bombers.

Oh yes, satire and joking aside, Broken Britain's terrorist-obsessed (control freak) government is at it again. Proving that no other people are capable of coming up with more mindless responses to the exaggerated, black propaganda threat of terrorism than the likes of New Labour's war criminal ex-PM, Tony Bliar and the current incumbent Nasty Party gang, led by Posh Dave Scameron.

The latest spectacle revolves around the completely idiotic website just launched by the ginger-mingin Education Secretary Nicky 'Moron' Morgan, titled “Educate against Hate.”
In reality, the only people who need educating are the clowns who cobbled this Kafkaesque monstrosity together and thought it might just be a good idea to tackle the evil spell of twisted ideologies and protect impressionable minds from radical views – specifically susceptibility to conspiracies theories – such as questioning what are forever bullshit government propaganda narratives - and displaying a paranoid / persecution mindset with regard to the criminal class ruling establishment commissioned false flag terrorist attacks.

So common herd beware. As the cliché goes: 'be afraid – very afraid' – for the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill 2014-15 moved through the UK Parliamentary system like shit through a goose and received Royal Assent with a nod and sly wink.
Attached to the controversial bill – a friend to no man - is a 39-page counter-terrorism measures consultation study that, in a bid to bolster its Prevent anti-terrorism plan, directs nursery school staff and registered childminders to report toddlers at risk of forswearing fundamental British values (sic - but who the fuck knows what they are anymore?) and becoming radical terrorist types.

As to the practicalities of making it a legal requirement for staff to inform on toddlers? Easy – just keep hiring Common Purpose NLP brainwashed morons like the one who reported the hapless Achmed to the local Plod Squad dipshits and dingbat security services.

So bollocks with a large capital B to political correctness - from here on in this is our legacy - to rip away the Veil of Venus blinkers and awaken people's vigilance against the corrupt establishment's totalitarian encroachment panopticon surveillance state apparatus - using their eyes and ears - and brains - to say 'what if?' and make that 'consequences be damned' / 'harm's way' / 'who gives a flying fuck' quantum leap to start thinking for 'themselves' and become agents of their own destiny.

No longer accepting and believing the propaganda and lies our corrupt gutter press and biased goggle box telly spew out in a disingenuous politically correct format – or the ruling regime's sinister de facto belief that kiddie fiddling is a common core cultural value that should be accepted and the age of consent lowered to three years.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry 'felcher-friendly' sized mammals – voles, gerbils, hamsters, cavies, dwarf bunnies, ferrets and otters – or Syrian pikey refugees - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist epistle.

However, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).