Afghan Catamite Scandal: 'Toothache Problem'

In this morning’s ‘Sodomite's Delight’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Afghanistan's Bumboy Central Command HQ - transmitted direct to the editorial desk of Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Good news all round as the Pentagon and US Army hierarchy cop shedloads of well deserved toxic flack from the virtuous and religiously conscionable sectors of Western society for firing Special Forces troopers who dared pull the moral high ground argument when accosting a kiddie fiddling Afghan police official, Abdul Rahman, commander of the 21st Bacha Bazi Brigade, in the Taliban-infested Bellend Province, who had his personal sex slave – a 12 year old Uzbek schoolboy / catamite chained to the end of his bed for purposes of suck n swallow oral and forced sodomy – and copped a good kicking when he had the audacity to laugh in the trooper's faces when reproached on the depraved conduct of a commanding officer tasked with setting a chaste and righteous example.

And the Pentagon's excuse for cashiering (politically correct terminology is 'involuntary discharge') Green Berets Captain Daniel Quinn and Sgt. First Class Charles Martland for doing 'the right thing'?

'Not our concern to moralise on what goat-fucking Afghans do for fun. We're there to secure the money-spinning opium crop harvests and maintain a geo-political strategic military advantage – poised and ready to strike into Russia's Far East energy sector and China's heartlands – come the day. Rampant homosexuality and incest are Afghan cultural issues, and the sickening ethnic perversion that paedophilia represents is a mere 'toothache problem' considering the legion of incurable ailments and socio-economic / political corruption cancers eating away at the core of the nation's soul.'

Yep, that's the status quo folks. This bizarre – twisted - American policy of non-intervention is intended to maintain bonhomie relations with the Afghan police and militia units the good ole US of A has trained to fight the Taliban. It also reflects a reluctance to impose cultural values in a country where – like Scotland - pederasty is rife, particularly among the powerful Freemasons of the Tartan Tadgers Society, for whom being surrounded by young teenage rent boys at their BD/SM Violate Club get-togethers can be a mark of social status.

For fuck's sake, these dog wankers are sicker than the Vatican's Ninth Circle Orgia Jesuit child raping sodomites, with their personalised nonce version of 'droit de seigneur' – the legal right to bugger little boys.

Conversely, if a historically- established culture of paedophilia is merely a 'toothache problem' in Afghanistan then here in the UK we have a negative orthodontics dilemma that the Tooth Fairy on steroids would be hard pressed to fix.

Regardless of applying the moral statutes of the Holy Bible to swear to the 'truth' (sic) upon in a court of law, while hypocritically ignoring the Old Testament's condemnation of bumboys playing 'the beast with two backs' as abominations, the Westminster Parliament - both the House of Conmans and Upper House of Frauds - were coerced (threatened, bribed and blackmailed) by the Astorite 'Cliveden Set' elitist scum who rule our once sceptred isle to legally accommodate their venal carnal perversions, and in 1967 passed the Sexual Offences Act which decriminalised sodomy between males – and thanks to Orwellian topsy-turvy social engineering (politically correct propaganda) less than 50 years on, has seen homophobia become an actual discriminatory 'hate crime'.

Obviously egged on by this questionable immoral victory, certain sexual deviant elements and their compliant sock puppet stooges (Harman / Hewitt et al) that vie to steer the helm of state then conspired through the now-infamous Paedophile Information Exchange to lobby Parliament to lower the age of consent and thus legalise kiddie fiddling between 'consenting' parties and their care home / orphanage orgies.
Oh yeah, a three year old sprog is going to agree to sucking the cock of some crypto-kikester MP for Red Leicester and get shafted up the bum. Makes perfect sense – in the madhouse.

And now we have Operations This, That and The Other – Yewtree, Fairfax, Pallial – too many to mention, and all appear tasked with dragging their feet and covering up any and all involvement by the establishment Powers That Be – or rather Very Important Paedophiles.

To wit, this attempted perversion of the course of justice starts with the cult of Freemasonry and the highest in the land – the Royals and Downing Street and a fudger / paedophile / sexual deviant infested civil service – trying to pawn off the taxpaying voter demographic with the likes of establishment insiders Annie Butler-Sloshed and Fiona 'The Dog' Woolf to chair an inquiry into historic cases of child sexual abuse – finally ending up with Kiwi legal beagle, Lowell Goddard. A long way to go to find anyone who might be considered 'impartial'.

Thus we are left to ponder on what's the next sexual abnormality we can have decriminalised? How about incest?
As recently as last week, up north of the border in Sturgeon's SNP Police State Nonceland, MSPs held discussions regarding the fact that the ban on Adult Consenting Incest is representative of bigotry and thus debated the merits of legalising sex between consenting family members – and if legalised, to file requests for Royal Pardons, for all people convicted of incest in the UK.

Now how does that qualify for a 'totally fucked up' legislation reviews label? Especially so when filed by some sheep-shagging Ozzie who has a wet dream wish to come over to the Highlands and bonk his Caledonian cousins.
(Mind you, when it comes down to paedophile-related 'toothache problems' then nonce-infested Scotland represents an aberration that a full set of Smile Centre dentures won't cure.)

Back to legalising incest – now that's a most definitely a step in the wrong direction when we look at the example of the inbred Brotherhood of the Snake Royals – the Kraut-Greek Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Windsor / Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg gang – and what a slack-jawed, indecisive, muddled, Dobby-eared, privilege-abusing bunch of genetic mutants they are – and all possessed with this 'divine right' exaggerated sense of entitlement and delusion of importance in the pecking order of Life.
That's what swimming at the shallow end of the gene pool for generations does to the DNA.

Thought for the day. The far-away reaches of a Third World Balkanised shithole like Afghanistan besides – the same perversions are prevalent on our own doorstep, with a dirty deviant establishment culture going all-out to cover up these scandalous abuses, from Westminster to Cardiff to Edinburgh.

Just look at the Sturgeon-directed SNP Police State Scotland's pretence at investigating historic child sexual abuse reports, wherein the 16-year old complaint case (2000) of the serial rape of Hollie Greig and a host of other special needs and disabled children by an untouchable Aberdeen-based elitist establishment (Masonic / Satanist) pederast ring continues to be ignored – and the named 22 abusers and paedo-enablers never to this day interviewed by police nor arrested – and hence never brought to justice.

Hardly surprising when one of the named 22 nonce-ponce abusers belonged to the very same Aberdeen Plod Squad tasked with investigating the complaint.

Whereas two anti-child sexual abuse crusaders, specifically the stalwart Cheshireman, Robert Green, who have sought to expose the scandal and seek justice for Hollie have been subjected to multiple cross-border arrests in their English homes by Plod Squad Nonceland thugs and imprisoned in Scotland - plus gagged by corrupt nonce-protecting Scottish courts from initiating further exposure campaigns.

But nothing new on the corruption front if one takes a closer look at Scotland's past record for sexual perversion and child abuse coverups – as instanced by Operation Planet and the follow-up actions by Crown Office legal stooges, tasked with re-writing the law of the land to indemnify their Magic Circle Masonic Speculative Society Law Lord bosses from prosecution for sodomising underage rent boys.

Here, time and again, we see the very same venal establishment hands involved in sanitising and covering up criminal acts of kiddie fiddling and child porn possession - ranging from the offices of disgraced lowlife money-laundering Glasgow solicitors manipulating the media with carrot n stick 'enticements' - to the sock puppet Scottish Herald's moronic paedo-apologist excuse for press hacks - to career pederast Grampian Sheriffs, to the rent boy buggering Nonceland Legal Aid Board's technical head - and let's not overlook the complicity of the Crown Office, and even further, into the Holyrood Parliament – a hotbed of hypocrisy, graft and corruption, in and of itself - under the questionable Porky Pict Salmond - and now Mrs 'Wee Nippy' Sturgeon. Alas, such is the price of devolution.

So, in closing, bollocks to Afghanistan, for it won't be too long before the Taliban are back in control and, Islam rules, make short (and violent) work of the paedo culture, same as the opium crops and the corrupt Western stooge politicos.

Thus time for the British stooge media to focus on the Westminster 'Very Important Paedophiles' scandal and Dolphin Square, Bryn Estyn, Elm Guest House, Haut de la Garenne, Nottingham's Beechwood Child Abuse Home – and a host of other such Satanic 'care homes' (sic) and orphanages where defenceless, emotionally-shattered kids were sexually abused and often put to death by untouchable Devil-worshipping Establishment paedo-sadists - both men 'and' women (Savile, Heath, Smith, Boyson, Joseph, Janner, Morrison, Astor, McAlpine) who were granted free range license to prey on vulnerable children purportedly under state protection.
Ha! Some joke. Tell that to the victims who, alike their now-dead contemporaries mouldering in shallow - and watery - graves, still await justice to be done.

To conclude, fuck the Devil's demonic Satanás and the crypto-Judahist sayanim scum – along with the Tory Monday Club fudgers and the venal Vatican-regime's flabby, maladjusted Masonic / Opus Dei / Jesuit Ninth Circle / Sovereign Order of the Shites of Malta secret handshake psycho-sodomite-felching-pederast-necrophiliac ruling elitist fraternity.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).

Zika Virus: Scapegoat for Atrazine Poisoning

In today’s ‘Enhanced Coverups / Pass the Buck' edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from a 'Whistle-Blowing Biochemist' – leaking genocidal secrets and snitching on their Satanic corporate bosses for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The World Ill-Health Organization announced it will convene an Emergency Headless Chicken Committee under International Health Regulations this coming Monday, February 1st, concerning what level of hysteria 'Don't Panic' warnings it will issue with regard to the wildfire spread of the psy-op scam Zika virus throughout the Third World Americas and specifically Brazil – with women being forewarned 'Give the Olympics a miss' and / or 'Don't get preggers' plus 'Quick girls (and guys) – grab your freebie Bill Gates Foundation Tdap vaccination'.

The gospel according to the doomsayer pundits, this virus, alike the previous HIV / AIDS, Sneezy Pig Flu, Coughing Duck Syndrome, Galloping Ebola, West Nile, East Nile, Spanish Lady and SARS viruses, reputedly has the potential to reach a Biblical proportions depopulation pandemic on a global scale and wipe out billions of the common herd's ne'er-do-well useless eaters.

The dreaded Zika virus is rumoured to be carried by genetically modified mosquitoes – a type of insect that ISIS Takfiri terrorists breed in mosques - (actually Oxitec, a British-based bio-research corporation) - and whose bite causes 'in utero' birth defects, with babies born with abnormally shaped heads and impaired brains. Thus we can safely assume that the likes of the crown heads of Europe – and especially our once-sceptred isle's ruling Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Windsor mutant Kraut royals gang are congenital victims of the Zika virus - along with half Posh Dave Scameron's Nasty Party cabinet.

Oxitec (recently bought out by US-based Carlyle Corp-controlled Franken-Chem company, Intrexon) first unveiled its large-scale, genetically-modified mosquito farm in Brazil in July 2012, with the goal of reducing the incidence of dengue fever, as reported in the Pestilence Gazette – with dengue being spread by the same Aedes aegypti mosquitoes which transmit the Zika virus and all kinds of other nasty crap.

To all intents and purposes the Zika virus hysteria has exploded out of no fucking where. Though no twat had ever heard of it until 1947, cases only sporadically occurred throughout Africa and southern Asia – where the likes of Dr Moreau's manky Monsanto's genetically modified crops and highly toxic pesticides / herbicides were in use.

Brazil is now considered the epicentre of the Zika outbreak, which coincides with at least 4,000 reports of babies born with microcephaly since October 2015 – (regardless of the fact that the women giving birth to deformed babies test negative for the presence of the Zika Virus) - prompting the Rio de Janeiro government of President Dilma Rousseff to call in 200,000 soldiers from the 21st Anti-Pathogen Regiment to somehow help combat the virus’ spread before it makes a total fuck-up of this summer's staging of the 2016 Olympics.

Eh – WTF they gonna do, shoot the mozzies?

Conversely, before the broad brush blame stick is bandied around in the customary willy-nilly fashion viz the purported causal relationship between Zika virus infections with birth malformations and neurological syndromes, perhaps we should cut through the official line bullshit and expose the toxic origins of this outbreak – and the remedial actions required that are vital to curbing it.

But there again, PR / media smokescreen bullshit besides, a first off question has to be 'what else causes microcephaly'? Actually two very evil toxic pesticide / herbicide compounds – used to saturation levels in Brazil and a further 21 tropical Latin Americas countries: Sleazy Syngenta's Atrazine and Ciba-Geigy's Metolachlor.

Syngenta's Atrazine pesticide, a nasty non-biodegradable toxic endocrine disruptor, was banned in the EUSSR since 2004 due persistent ground water contamination and tagged as an agent that wreaks havoc on the natural hormonal system and is accumulative in cell tissues, leading to genetic damage in future generations,

The presence versus absence of quantifiable levels of the Atrazine pesticide or a specific Atrazine metabolite was associated with foetal growth restriction and small skull size – plus cranial circumference abnormalities are also inversely associated with the presence of the herbicide Metolachlor.

These toxic agents are classified as a Category C pesticide / herbicide by the US Environmental Protection Agency, a factor that indicates they are carcinogenic.
Field research data provides indisputable evidence of the bio-accumulation of Atrazine and Metolachlor in edible species of fish and crops as well as their adverse effect on the growth and development of animal life raise concerns on its effects on human health due the negative cytotoxic and genotoxic effects in human lymphocytes.

Both Ciba-Geigy's Metolachlor and Syngenta's Atrazine Frankenfood pesti / herbi-cides are widely used in Brazil, hence we have yet another instance of corporate coverups with this link to the birth defects being wholly ignored and blamed on insects – the hapless mosquito – and some concocted 'deadly virus' PR media scam is the best false cover story going to get the New World Order's Malthusian genocidal eugenics 'forced vaccination, sterilisation and depopulation' programme up n running and bump off a few billion sheeple.

Thought for the day. Hard to miss the sore thumb obvious. Brazilian government not pushing Tdap vaccinations and US-based (and disgraced) scandal-ridden Planned Parenthood are offering Zika virus affected women freebie abortions – so they can harvest thousands of foetal transplant organs.
Hmmm, two common 'for profit' criminal act denominators are fucking up our world - gross corporate negligence and deliberate government misconduct.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration:
Disclaimer: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled corporate lobbyist politicos, bent nonce-ponce money-laundering lawyers and crooked porky plod vassals might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' anxiety-damage casualties, no innocent non-combatant women and children – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry 'felcher-friendly' mammals - otters / voles – or Syrian refugees - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

However, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced.

So bollocks with a large capital B to political correctness - from here on in this is our legacy - to rip away the Veil of Venus blinkers and awaken people's vigilance against the corrupt establishment's totalitarian encroachment - using their eyes and ears - and brains - to say 'what if?' and make that 'consequences be damned' / 'harm's way' / 'who gives a flying fuck' quantum leap to start thinking for 'themselves' and become agents of their own destiny.

No longer accepting and believing the propaganda and lies our corrupt gutter press and biased goggle box telly spew out in a disingenuous politically correct format – or the ruling regime's sinister de facto belief that kiddie fiddling is a common core cultural value that should be accepted by a morally-misguided public and the age of consent lowered to three years – to accommodate their perverted Satanic sexual fetishes.

To conclude, fuck the Devil's demonic Satanás and the crypto-Judahist sayanim scum – along with the Vatican-regime's flabby, maladjusted Masonic / Opus Dei / Jesuit Ninth Circle / Sovereign Order of the Shites of Malta secret handshake psycho-sodomite-felching-pederast-necrophiliac ruling elitist fraternity – along with their Crapitalist shifty Shylock bankster brethren and their shelf life expired fractional reserve fraudulent and usury-rigged system's zillion % APR mark-ups, toxic credit default swaps, sub-prime whatsit loans and 'bespoke tranche opportunities' (re-branded CDS).

And let's not forget to cast equal curses upon the tents of Big Brother and his Common Purpose Colombine sister – nor overlooking the 'by Divine Right' parasitic anachronisms referred to as the 'Royal Family' - nor the profit-motivated / money-grubbing Moloch / Mammon worshipping Agenda 21 architects of the Rothshite ZioNazi New World Order Globalisers - the Round Table dog wankers, and their Council on Foreign Relations and Trilateral Commission pondscum pals from the Carlyle Group and Kissasser Associates and military-industrial armaments cabal who comprise the elitist ranks of the annual Dildoberger cabal pow-wow – and spin the trans-dimensional reptilian conjured yarn that the tried and tested key to conflict resolution is via more bloody conflict.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Raving Rupert Mudrock and the uber-racist ZioNazi kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose and name the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).

Nasty Party Okays Kiddie Trafficking Bill

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Closet Dining for West End Grotesques

In today’s ‘Social Hysteria’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in non-linear scandal-mongering hot gossip from our paranoid pre-op' TS crypto-kike news hack, Bonkers Becky, 'manning' (sic – no pun intended) the London West End gourmet gastromonical delights desk for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Following the recent broadcast of Channel 69's four-part 'Dirty Tricks of the Restaurant Trade' series, a class action suit has been filed against a hit list of five star Cordon Bleu West End restaurants by Ms Sue Fleecem QC, the formidable alpha-prime (and feared) litigator for London solicitors, Upshot, Shitpot & Bagrot, on behalf of a group of what the gutter press Daily Shitraker tabloid openly referred to in its reporting of the discrimination scandal as 'ugly bastards'.

Revelations by Channel 69's undercover series exposed details of the outrageous apartheid seating policies covertly adopted by elitist London restaurants, whereby the jet set beautiful people – coke-snorting entertainment industry celebs, second rate money-grubbing royals, shifty shylock banksters and very important paedo politicos – cop the best tables and seats in the house, while patrons in dire need of that extra Botox top-up, an embarrassing outbreak of galloping acne or a scant resemblance to Quasimodo – regardless of their fiscal capacity to order and pay for the best of the house – get shoved in some corner, well away from the windows and stares of potential clients and common herd passers-by.

As part of the investigation the programme producers dispatched a crew of four high priced Mayfair glamour whores on a week-long wining and dining mission to several of the West End's most expensive restaurants, where they were immediately led to the so-called 'golden tables' near the street-side windows - as an advert to attract ogling customers.

In stark contrast the production team further recruited several members of Lennie the Leper's Freak Show from their Battersea Park HQ and commissioned them with a parallel purpose – to eat and drink their hearts out at the same haut cuisine dumps – where the 'ugly truth' came out at three restaurants - when the group were unceremoniously seated, hidden away, at the back of the luxurious eateries – and four other snooty establishments where they were simply turned away by obnoxious head waiters.

Interviewed on the programme Lennie the Leper himself related the bad vibes experiences he and his group had suffered doing the rounds of the snobbish eateries. "Fuck me drunk – an' I wasn't, honest – but we all got shoved right at the back of one place in an effin' corner an' the lights turned right down so no twat could see us, an' guess who comes waltzin' through the door but fat old Sarah Fergie's daughters – that horse-faced Princess Beatrice an' her trout of a sister Eugenie – an' both lookin' like a pair of piranhas wiv their fucked-up dentistry."

"Then right after in rolls that zillionaire Russian oligarch tosser, Oleg Mobsaroubles, wot owns Gulag Gaz an' Wankprom Oil an' Smegmadale Football Club, wiv his mate Michail Sackashit from Russtheft Energy – an' they've got a harem of super-tottie in tow – includin' that Ukrainian celebrity stripper, Takem Orloff. An' all this crowd of twats cop right good tables while we're shoved at the effin' back – outa sight and mind."

Celebrity chef Ron McScrote, who co-hosted the documentary, informed one press hack from the Dog Wankers Gazette that: "Every restaurant has golden and platinum tables where their best-looking customers are seated – as they project a certain ambience and quality onto the place. Good-looking customers attract more people, hence they make a mob more money; so you sit them where they can be seen."
"Whereas there's always some shadowy alcove at the back of the premises where they shove the 'ugly bastards' – so the next time you and the three bagger girl friend or frog-faced broomstick merchant of a missus cop a table at the back corner of the restaurant, now you know why."

Glaswegian master chef Foo-Foo McFudger, renown for his prize-winning Pink Ribbon restaurant chain, and uber bad cholesterol 'Deep Fried Mars Bar' treats, caters chiefly to the gastronomical excesses of London's gay and TS community, and in response to being named and shamed by Channel 69's damning expose documentary, stated for the public record "So take me to court, I don't give a flying toss – but I'm not having a bunch of ugly fuckers sat in my front window seats, frightening off customers with their warts and cancerous tumours."

The class action lawsuit, with the complainants' register expanding at a geometric rate of knots, has so far listed several prestigious eateries, including Chelsea's fashionable five star Pigs Trough bistro and both Marco Pierre Shite's Kings Road and Square Mile-based 'Out of Sight' steak n ale chophouses – whereas the less surreptitious, perhaps blatant, mode of segregation at Gordon Ramsey's illustrious 'Foul Mouth' gourmet culinary branches, where the rich and shameless flock in droves to be sworn at and insulted by the celebrity chef in person – have adopted a more formal approach - with their 'Ugly Cunts Fuck Right Off' sign on the front door.

Have you been discriminated against in your local chippy due an eruption of few herpes blisters round your mouth? Do you get shoved in a back corner at McDonalds Chew n Spew outlets due being a bit of a hunch-backed ugly twat?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a window seat table placing at Biffo's Barf Burger joint in Croydon and have lunch with society paedo-sodomite-in-denial, Harvey Proctologist - or the ginger mingin 'Loathsome Lucy' Allan – celebrity-status lying bitch, staff bullying Tory MP (and Minister for False Death Threats) – she of the perpetual smarmy shit-eating grin – who has a window seat reserved at Sid's Greasy Spoon Cafe in her Telford constituency.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose and name the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).

Muslim Refugees Get 'Terrorist Housing'

In today’s ‘Enhanced Islamophobia’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Ghaban ibn Himar, manning the mobile I-Spy editorial desk outside London's MI5 HQ for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Questions are being raised this week, not only in the House of Conmans 'and' the Upper House of Frauds, but also by the United Nations Human Right & Wrongs Commission, concerning the fate of a missing British Muslim schoolboy who mistakenly wrote in a class essay that he lived in a 'terrorist house' rather than a 'terraced house'.

In a blatant attempt by officialdom to further demonise Islam and its Muslim adherents in the eyes of Broken Britain's gullible common herd demographic, the boy was arrested at school in Lancashire last December by members of the local Plod Squad and questioned if he had information about Arab jihadist types impersonating Brazilian electricians - or had been groomed online for bum sex by members of a Westminster paedo ring.

Further lines of inquiry concerned the contents of his personal 'apostate' Father Christmas wish list essay in which he'd written "I wants one of them big shiny AK47 assault rifles wiv a banana clip like wot me Uncle Mohammad al Ka-Boom's got in Syria fer shootin' Basher Assad's heathen Shi'ite scumbag soldiers."

The 10-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons (Achmed Neekni Sahrawi of 14, Suicide Vest Crescent, Accrington, Lancs.) made the spelling mistake during an English lesson at his local Sheikh Fizzy Al Kaseltzer Primary School last December when writing a Yuletide festive season themed essay regarding his Christmas pressy wish list posted to Santa's North Pole HQ – informing the aforesaid red-clad Saint Nick that he hoped he could slide down the chimney okay as Achmed lived in a small 'terrorist house'.

The morning following his arrest, Achmed was grabbed from Accrington police cells by MI5 thugs under the provisions of Schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act 2000, dumped head-first into a body bag sized North Face holdall, and transferred on a covert Sleazy Jet rendition flight, along with captured members of the feared Mohammed al Patsy suicide bomber gang, to one of their foreign-based 'black site' interrogation units – specifically Israel's notorious Facility 1391 Prison – infamous for pick n mix torture techniques, kicking pregnant Palestinian women into states of bloody miscarriage; and non-kosher goyim Arab detainees being released with a kidney missing – an IDF ZioNazi trick picked up 'for profit' from the Peoples' Utopia of China transplant organ thieving penal system.

Grapevine gossip holds that Achmed was grassed up by his class teaching assistant, Ms Fellatia McSnitch, a volunteer Community Enforcement Officer and member of the Accrington Schadenfreude Club – who human rights activists have tagged as a class act Orwellian establishment 'good citizen' / brownie points moron – brain dead to the extent she could not to see the funny side of little Achmed's simple faux pas – and in fact should be fired for failing to teach him to spell correctly.

Accrington Plod Squad boss, Chief Inspector Ron 'Piggy' Trotter, informed press hacks from the red top Mujahideen Gazette tabloid that "Young Achmed woz only the start of this radicalisation inquiry cos once we got inter the nitty-gritty of it, his school pal Mustapha had written a wish list letter ter Father Christmas as well, wot said, an' here I quote: "... an' if Santa's up ter it, I could do wiv a set of them dead sharp Argos kitchen knives like wot Jihadi John's got stuck in his belt in the online ISIS videos an' chops the effin' heads off infidel shits wiv."

"Really, I ask yer, what the fuck are these Muslim sprogs doin' writin' letters ter a mythical Christian saint fer – soddin' religious hypocrites ter my mind. An' why can't they be happy just readin' the Dandy an' Beano like wot normal kids do – an' not this online Jolly Jihad comic wot ISIS puts out fer them?"
"In my unqualified opinion little Achmed was well on his way ter becomin' the next Osama bin Bag, or whatever the fuck that bloke's name woz wot run the Big Al Qaeda terrorist gang up in Afghanistan – or doin' a bunk an' joinin' Hamas Gaza Gangsters."

"Luckily, an' thanks ter the Nasty Party's Home Secretary, Terry May, pushin' through the new 2015 Counter-Terrorism and Security Act, Achmed an' his pals can be monitored 24/7 and detained for 28 days - or indefinitely – whatever comes first - while we concoct a strew of stitch-up evidence against them."

"Then we can have 'em taken inter care an fostered out ter a decent no-nonsense Roman Catholic boardin' school run by Ninth Circle Orgia Jesuit brothers, where they'll be made ter convert ter Christianity an' worship the One True God – an' get shagged up the rear end by pervy priests until they can recite the Holy Rosary prayers off ter perfection."
"An that folks is one of the four elements comprisin' our once-sceptred isle’s all-new 'Prevent' counter-terrorism strategy."

Conversely, Achmed's Mum, Mrs Sharmuta Neekni Sahrawi , accompanied by co-offender Mustapha's Ma, Mrs Zeenat Bala’a il A’air – (both granted Syrian refugee status asylum in the UK after their doctor husbands fell victim to an RAF Tornado's slightly off-target laser guided 'smart bomb' (sic) which flattened their Aleppo-based medical clinic) - were interviewed for Channel 69's 'Semtex Scallies' expose special – defending their children's Xmas wish list scribbling as 'misguided' and heaping the blame on a certain Mr Ras al Shitbag, a cleric at their local Mosque's Islamic instruction 'madrassa' for attempting to legitimise terrorism and radicalising the juvenile attendees into becoming Takfiri jihadists and 'shaheed' suicide bombers.

Oh yes, satire and joking aside, Broken Britain's terrorist-obsessed (control freak) government is at it again. Proving that no other people are capable of coming up with more mindless responses to the exaggerated, black propaganda threat of terrorism than the likes of New Labour's war criminal ex-PM, Tony Bliar and the current incumbent Nasty Party gang, led by Posh Dave Scameron.

The latest spectacle revolves around the completely idiotic website just launched by the ginger-mingin Education Secretary Nicky 'Moron' Morgan, titled “Educate against Hate.”
In reality, the only people who need educating are the clowns who cobbled this Kafkaesque monstrosity together and thought it might just be a good idea to tackle the evil spell of twisted ideologies and protect impressionable minds from radical views – specifically susceptibility to conspiracies theories – such as questioning what are forever bullshit government propaganda narratives - and displaying a paranoid / persecution mindset with regard to the criminal class ruling establishment commissioned false flag terrorist attacks.

So common herd beware. As the cliché goes: 'be afraid – very afraid' – for the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill 2014-15 moved through the UK Parliamentary system like shit through a goose and received Royal Assent with a nod and sly wink.
Attached to the controversial bill – a friend to no man - is a 39-page counter-terrorism measures consultation study that, in a bid to bolster its Prevent anti-terrorism plan, directs nursery school staff and registered childminders to report toddlers at risk of forswearing fundamental British values (sic - but who the fuck knows what they are anymore?) and becoming radical terrorist types.

As to the practicalities of making it a legal requirement for staff to inform on toddlers? Easy – just keep hiring Common Purpose NLP brainwashed morons like the one who reported the hapless Achmed to the local Plod Squad dipshits and dingbat security services.

So bollocks with a large capital B to political correctness - from here on in this is our legacy - to rip away the Veil of Venus blinkers and awaken people's vigilance against the corrupt establishment's totalitarian encroachment panopticon surveillance state apparatus - using their eyes and ears - and brains - to say 'what if?' and make that 'consequences be damned' / 'harm's way' / 'who gives a flying fuck' quantum leap to start thinking for 'themselves' and become agents of their own destiny.

No longer accepting and believing the propaganda and lies our corrupt gutter press and biased goggle box telly spew out in a disingenuous politically correct format – or the ruling regime's sinister de facto belief that kiddie fiddling is a common core cultural value that should be accepted and the age of consent lowered to three years.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry 'felcher-friendly' sized mammals – voles, gerbils, hamsters, cavies, dwarf bunnies, ferrets and otters – or Syrian pikey refugees - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist epistle.

However, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).

Catholic School Bans Winter Woolies

In this morning’s ‘Utter Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering 'deep freeze' gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches 'cold forged' and wrought into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Bonkers school bosses at the Cardinal Spewman School for Latter Day Catamites have banned their pupils from wearing thermal underwear and down-filled gilets or woolly beanies, scarves and gloves – (despite the global warming myth getting a further kick in the proverbial goolies as the brass monkey temperature readings across Broken Britain plummeted to well below freezing) - due the preposterous Orwellian fiction such bulky garments pose a Dunblane style shoot-to-kill 'security threat'.

Education chiefs issued the absurd diktat ordering youngsters not to wear baggy trenchcoats within the school grounds as paranoid psychotic members of staff claim such might pose a 'security issue' if some pupil got fed up of being buggered by the Viagra-fuelled Games Master in the showers and decided to secrete a couple of locked n loaded handguns – or even worse – a miniaturised video camera and microphone in their pockets - to spy on and record the actions of dirty deviant staff engaging in their routine child sexual abuse practices.

The school's Compliance Officer, Mr Jack Thugg, threatened to dish out detention to any children who break the severe regulation, even though temperatures have plummeted to minus 5 Centigrade in the school hall and classrooms - with the canteen reduced to serving choc ices and Tuti-Fruiti lollies on the lunchtime menu.

Conversely, a hard core group of students at the school in Hove, East Sussex, finally rebelled and publicly expressed outrage at the bizarre decision, with one English Lit major who spoke to press hacks on conditions of anonymity (Ronny Scrote) branding it 'effin' bullshit'.

Cardinal Spewman's was visited by Ofsted inspectors earlier this month, who were shocked to find several Year 6 students frozen to their desks and had resorted to sucking Victory V lozenges to keep warm.
However, Jesuit head teacher Dr Angus 'Pitbull' McFudger – (formerly Boy Scout troop leader at the Glencoe-based St Sodom's Roman Catholic Academy for Wayward Scallies) - insisted the pupil's teeth-chattering bouts of shivering were merely juvenile theatrical displays to gain attention and that the geriatrics composing the Most Reverend Masonic Board of Governors were simply upholding their long established, and Vatican-approved, Spartan iron discipline policy to nurture strength of character in the pupils.

Speaking to one gutter press reporter from the Sado-Masochists Gazette, Dr McFudger related that "Here at the Cardinal Spewman Catholic School for Latter Day Catamites we have a strict uniform policy which is in line with our high standards and expectations of pupils to follow the faith and become priests and nuns. These kids today have it so easy. When I was a pupil at Gordonstoun with Prince Stavros of Edinburgh we'd cop for Matron's iced water enemas every morning, then get buggered up the jacksy by the prefects – while the nonce ponce school gardener had you in a side headlock and made you gobble him off."

"Hence, in the austere spirit of St Peregrine the Flagellant, we do not allow any non-essential uniform items - including cuddly winter woolies, to be worn on school premises – and as I announced during assembly this morning, following prayers, the sanction for non-compliance of school uniform regulations will be twenty strokes of the lash."
"Furthermore, any pupil faking hypothermia with applications of blue woad to the lips and digital extremities will be placed in solitary confinement in the school dungeon's igloo until end of term."

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/635877/School-bans-pupils-from-wearing-COATS-as-Britain-freezes

Disclaimer: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled politicos, bent nonce-ponce money-laundering lawyers and crooked porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' anxiety-damage casualties - no innocent non-combatant women and children – (or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry mammals - otters / voles – or Syrian refugees) - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).

KSA 2016: Happy New Beheading

In today’s ‘Barbarians Rule’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, manning the editorial desk in manky Mecca for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to January's edition of the Decapitation Gazette, the Alice in Wonderland dystopian monarchical government (sic) of the barbarian-run Kingdom of Saudi Arabia ordered an excess of 150 executions during the past year, the highest figure logged by international human rights and wrongs groups since the previous 2014 record.

Obviously the homicidal psycho maniacs running the Dark Ages (1437) Saudi kingdom - with this controversial one-off head-lopping display of 47 executions on the stroke of mid-night to mark the Wicked West's 2016 New Year – are planning well ahead to beat their 'previous best' score and cop a first place entry in the McSquirter's 2016 Guinness Book of World Records (Deranged Despots Edition).

Yep, it's Happy Totalitarian-Barbarian 2016 New Year greetings from the backward Kingdom of Saudi Arabia with this Busby Berkely spectacular display of – not fireworks – but scimitar-swinging and head lopping – as some 47 non-conformist types - any fucker or their dog in fact - who had the audacity to dare disagree with, criticise - and protest - against the inbred mutant Al Saud ruling royal family - and the graft and corruption-ridden fat cat hangers-on oligarchy - copped a terminal dose of decapitation for their anarchist-insurgent cheek.

Conversely, the KSA's execution of the prominent Saudi Shiite cleric, Sheikh Nimr al-Nimr, for 'terrorist offences' – specifically his persistent vocal criticism of, and publicly dissing, Saudi royal scumsters as totalitarian despots 'and' heretical apostates for their foreign excursions to the lands of the infidels and Great Satan – gambling, boozing and whoring – with a spot of shop-lifting thrown in for good measure - has inadvertently resulted in his internationally-recognised martyrdom – with Mid-East Shite community leaders pledging 'divine retribution' for his murder.

Sheikh Nimr al-Nimr was arrested by Mabahith secret police thugs at his oil rich – albeit marginalised - Ash-Sharqiyyah province home in 2012 in the wake of the ZioNazi-West engineered 2011 Arab Spring uprisings and initially charged with domestic terrorism - for posting such seditious remarks against the hypocrisy-ridden monarchy as 'Sue Me Saudi Scum' on Twitter under the Anglicised nom de guerre handle of 'Derek the Cleric' - after some nasty tosspot at Twitter grassed him up to the Saudi Mutaween religious police that he'd had the cheek to send a tweet to his mate Sheikh Mohammad ibn Himar, editor of the Riyadh-based Self-Harmer's Review – (a man whose tribe claim hereditary camel and goat grazing rights on every hotel and corporate HQ atrium lobby carpet on the south side of the Persian Gulf) - referring to the KSA's King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud as a 'Nubian catamite-fucking geriatric pederast - only a single step away from a fatal coronary or stroke – and hopefully both'.

Consequently the insurrectionist word is on the streets of the Middle East / Gulf state bazaars and souqs to kick start a mess of sectarian pottage in revenge for al-Nimr's murder – with rumours of a shitload of Shiite scallies ready to depart on a violent venue of extreme prejudice payback against the dominant Saudi Sunni and Cher monarchy and their lickspittle sock puppet stooge gophers.

While 'Revolution Now' activists might prove a slack-arsed bunch to get their rebellion underway in the KSA, not so in Iran – where after receiving a positive 'sideways glance' nod from Iran's geriatric supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei last night, a Biblical multitude of Tehran-based Shiite activist protesters re-decorated the capital's Saudi Embassy with a 'Nowruz' pick n mix pyrotechnic bombardment of pipe bombs, Molotov cocktails, C4-laced kulfi - and similar inflammable accelerants.

Thought for the day. Ah well, there we are, and all thanks to the Sykes-Picot Agreement – a nation founded on graft and corruption and hedonistic pursuits - ruled by inbred barbaric wastrel morons who think with their stomachs and cocks before applying what passes for intelligence in their demented heads.
As long as the hopeless Bell Curve Deficiency Syndrome afflicted Saudi monarchy top dogs keep up the bonkers Red Queen head-chopping suppression culture – (women can't drive / can't buy a six pack of Fosters or a tin of Spam at a Lulu Hypermarket) - then sooner more so than later, something's going to give – and it's gonna be bloody – and that. mon amis, will finally put paid to their irrational sense of entitlement and collective abuse of privilege.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry 'felcher-friendly' sized mammals – voles, gerbils, hamsters, cavies, dwarf bunnies, ferrets and otters – or Syrian pikey refugees - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist epistle.
However, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced.

To wit, bollocks with a large capital B to political correctness - from here on in this is our legacy - to rip away the Veil of Venus blinkers and awaken people's vigilance against the corrupt establishment's totalitarian encroachment - using their eyes and ears - and brains - to say 'what if?' and make that 'harm's way' quantum leap to start thinking for 'themselves' and become agents of their own destiny.

No longer accepting and believing the propaganda and lies our corrupt gutter press and biased goggle box telly spew out in a disingenuous politically correct format – or the ruling regime's sinister de facto belief that kiddie fiddling is a common core cultural value that should be accepted and the age of consent lowered to three years.

Thus fuck the Devil's demonic Satanás and the crypto-Judahist sayanim scum – along with the Rock n Roller Ayatollahs n Mad Mullahs (Sunni / Shite n otherwise) n the Vatican-regime's flabby, maladjusted Masonic / Opus Dei / Jesuit Ninth Circle / Sovereign Order of the Shites of Malta secret handshake psycho-sodomite-felching-pederast-necrophiliac ruling elitist fraternity – along with their Crapitalist shifty Shylock bankster brethren and their shelf life expired fractional reserve fraudulent and usury-rigged system's zillion % APR mark-ups, toxic credit default swaps, sub-prime whatsit loans and 'bespoke tranche opportunities' (re-branded CDS).

And let's not forget to cast equal curses upon the tents of Big Brother and his Common Purpose Colombine sister – nor overlooking the 'by Divine Right' parasitic anachronisms referred to as the 'Royal Family' - nor the profit-motivated / money-grubbing Moloch / Mammon worshipping Agenda 21 architects of the Rothshite ZioNazi New World Order Globalisers - the Round Table dog wankers, and their Council on Foreign Relations and Trilateral Commission pondscum pals from the Carlyle Group and Kissasser Associates and military-industrial armaments cabal who comprise the elitist ranks of the annual Dildoberger cabal pow-wow – and spin the trans-dimensional reptilian conjured yarn that the tried and tested key to conflict resolution is via more bloody conflict.

Disclaimer: While a legion of oil-rich dog wanker Sunni & Cher worshipping Ayrabs and conscience-stifled politicos, bent nonce-ponce money-laundering lawyers and crooked porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' anxiety-damage casualties, no innocent non-combatant women and children – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry mammals - otters / voles – or Syrian refugees - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose and name the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-apologists and cover-up protectors).

Tory Gongs for the Boys (& Girls)

In today’s ‘Enhanced Cronyism’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in non-linear scandal-mongering hot gossip from Mollie McSkanger, manning the Downing Street watchtower for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Broken Britain's Nasty Party Prime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, starts off the 2016 New Year with yet another scandalous 'Bang!', as opposition politicos and social activists point the accusatory fickle finger of Fate at the pig-fucking oick for his flat out cronyism - due awarding New Year’s honours to a slew of controversial Tory donors and incompetent / not fit for purpose spin doctors and uncivil servants.

Typically, New Year honours, akin to Queen Sweat Betty's birthday honours list, we have every fucker and their dog, from the House of Conmans and upper House of Frauds scumsters to Shitehall civil service mandarins and their apprentice catamites – this clique of graft and corruption-ridden Masonic brethren and their sock puppet stooges and gophers – so recently sucking up to Scameron's Cronies-R-Us Party (previously the rich n shameless-affiliated Nasty Party) for a perpetual first class seat of the (tax-payer funded) government Gravy Train.

Topping the list of controversial tosspots to cop a gong is the aptly-named 'Lizard of Oz' political manipulator, Lynton 'Knobhead' Crosby, who ran the Nasty Party’s election campaign, and has been awarded a Shitethood - despite his reputation for 'aggressive shock tactics' and being an all-round cunt.

New Labour's IQ-challenged Shadow Chancellor, John 'Bean Counter' McDonnell, opined to equally moronic gutter press hacks that such an award might make the public think the honours titles perpetuate an 'old boy’s club'.
Er, yes John, you're catching on – almost.

Furthermore Crosby's undeserved and contested honour led one unnamed senior UKIP MP (Que? Who he?) to declare himself speechless - and thus unable to make further legible comments or even pass some muttered utterance to Daily Shitraker hacks.

Crosby’s 'Shitehood', however, is the most contentious award of the year as the down-under lobbyist owns Crosby Textbook Fullashite, a PR firm hired by tobacco giant Philip Morris International in 2012 to campaign that smoking cigarettes is good for you - and not only enhances male virility but cures cancer.

Crosby’s strategy in May’s general election relied heavily on shock tactics, a game plan which so appalled former Lib-Dum Business Secretary Vince 'Baldy' Cable that he described the PR guru as a 'low life cunt'.... and ...
“The main thing he is known for is introducing the concept of aggressive negative campaigning, or as London Mayor, Pasha Bonkers Boris Nonsense, once described it: ‘the dead moggy strategy’ - which involves distracting the brain-dead public from a politically difficult issue by creating alternative shocking news – such as having MI5 orchestrate the Operation Gladio style 7/7/2005 false flag London Tube bombings then blame the chaos and havoc on Britain's Big Society Muslim community and demonise all things Islamic in the process."

Conversely, Cabinet Office minister Matt (The Twat) Wancock defended the decision to knight Crosby, claiming a long established tradition of honouring people for political skullduggery – justifying his argument with a comparison that if Guy Fawkes had pulled off his Gunpowder Plot back in 1605 and rid England of the moronic Scots paedo-sodomite King James 1, then he'd have copped a knighthood from whatever Norman Masonic nobility-led political clique was behind the 'plot' and grasped the reins of power in the 'Big Bang's' aftermath vacuum.

So let's take a look at who else has been kissing Nasty Party bum, eating shit or sucking dongs for gongs.
First off we have Henry 'Judas' Bellend – MP for Norfolk North-South - for undetermined political and parliamentary service (back-stabbing / grassing) – like Dirty Digger Crosby – also a Shitehood – along with Harvey McGrath – a pioneer of Scameron's failed 'We're all in it Together' / 'Hug a Hoodie' Big Society concept.

Spencer Shitfield, director of the Conservatives’ national policy forum — which generates all manner of black propaganda for policymakers – rewarded for his treason against the Brisith public with an OBE.
Zameer Choudrey – CEO of Worstway and co-chair Conservative Friends of Pakiland, cops a CBE.
And another Poundland value CBE to pornography queen Jacqueline 'Dildo' Gold – CEO of Ann Summers sex toy shops . For services to the horny underwear industry and innovator of the WiFi-ready 'Double Dutch' pussy-anal vibrating butt plug.

Bottle blonde Caroline 'Piranha Teeth' Roberts - chief waterboard torturer for the Nasty Party’s disciplinary committee - is also to be honoured, despite the Tories having faced numerous allegations of bullying, sexual abuse and blackmail over the past year – and will become a Member of the (non-existent) British Empire (MBE).

A further assorted 'for political service' pick n mix of gongs and titles went out to:
Mark McInnes – Director, Scottish Nonce Servatives.
Marion Tittle-Tattle – CCHQ - for I-Spy snitch services.
Dr Spencer Pitfall – Director, National Policy Forum.
Cllr John Riddle – Chairman, National Parks - for poop-scooping services to the community.
James Stewart OBE – Treasurer, Scottish Conservatives - for Cayman Islands offshore banking and money laundering services.
Jill Finny Haddock MBE – for Tory Euthanasia Think Tank strategies to get shut of Old People.
Christopher Fenwick – Deputy Chairman, Monday Club. For keeping Mum viz Dolphin Square scandal
Lyndon Jones – Deputy Chairman, Welsh Conservatives - for supplying cutie looks sheep and suck n swallow lambs.
Lord Algernon Swineherd: for supplying pigs heads for Oxford Bullingdon Club / Piers Gaveston Debauchery Society blow job initiation ceremonies

Analysis by the Cronyism Gazette found that half of those receiving the highest awards – knighthoods, damehoods and above – are privately educated ( apart from Kray Twins moll, Dame Babs 'Big Tits' Windsor) a figure almost as high as it was under the old feudal rule system.

New Labour’s Chief Shit, Dozy Rosie Winterton, has been made a Dame, along with civil servant Linda 'Hopeless' Homer – anointed Dame Commander of the Order of the Bathtub, for jobsworth incompetence - despite being heavily criticized for her non-performance in every high-level job she's been misguidedly trusted with to date – and specifically her current incumbency as top dog at HMRC.

Appearing before the House of Conmans Treasury Committee in November and looking like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards, Homer stated she was very apologetic for the poor service suffered by people trying to ring the tax office – but shoved the blame for this onto the shoulders of the HMRC receptionists.

As CEO of the UK Border Agency, she was accused of misleading MPs over the size of the backlogs in asylum and immigration.
In a purposely-leaked public attack, the Home Affairs Select Committee, headed by class act jukebox politico Keith Vaz, recorded back in 2013 that Homer's performance was "more like the scene of a Whitehall farce than a government agency operating in the 21st Century" – and further that it was “astounded” 'Hopeless' Homer was being promoted to become chief executive of HM Revenue & Customs.
“The status quo, in which catastrophic leadership failure is no obstacle to promotion, is totally unacceptable,” sayeth the committee minutes.
As head of HMRC, she was accused by the Public Accounts Committee of “an unambitious and woefully inadequate” response to a National Audit Office report.

Oh yes, you gottit, the woman, apart from being short on Botox injections and any semblance of intellect, is a fuck-up on legs – a walking disaster area who makes a total bollocks of owt she touches – then refuses to recognise the proverbial 'the buck stops here' maxim and shoulder command responsibility.

In 2005, Homer was criticised by the Election Commissioner for failings in her role as returning officer during a postal vote-rigging scandal involving Tony Bliar's New Labour candidates the previous year, described by the Commissioner as one that "would disgrace a banana republic", and involving hundreds of votes failing to be counted.

Homer, prevaricating douche bag that she is, defended her role to the Election Commission, claiming with deliberate disingenuous intent, that she had been in 'strategic, not operational control', and had confined herself to motivational management (kicking vote counting staff out of the pub) and fire fighting – (dropping her kex and personally pissing on a ballot box was rumoured to have spontaneously combusted - not a pretty sight).

In 2010 the Tories announced that Homer would assume the post of Permanent Secretary of the Department for Transport - and apart from overseeing the worse season of motorway and urban traffic jams since the Great North Road Horse & Carriage Derailment of 1893 - mishandled the controversial franchise letting process for West Coast Mainline rail network - a Notwork Rail / Rattle Track failure estimated to have cost the government (er –us / tax-payers) £100 million quid – plus change.

In December 2011 it was announced that Homer would succeed the incompetent Lesley Strathie as Chief Executive of HMRC – and the rest is history.

To conclude, we wish to quote directly a public record admission by former HMRC chairman Mike 'Claptrap' Clasper - (another overpaid dog wanker who got the boot from that post for corrupt insider deals with the bankster-corporate elitist scum who run our once sceptred isle) - regarding HMRC incompetence: "HMRC's delivery of services to the general public has fallen to unacceptable levels.”

Well, unlike Ms Homeless, at least Claptrap had the balls to admit being at fault and fall on his own office desk stapler.
Mind you, Rosie Winterton, Barbara 'Boobs' Windsor or the Hopeless Homer besides, governments hand out dodgy damehoods to all manner of low life egocentric career-chasing 'cunts' – frogs who dream of morphing into toads - that are prepared to re-write the laws of the land with a 'Very Important Paedophile' version of 'droit de seigneur' (in this case the 'privileged' legal right to sodomise innocent children) documented instrument - to circumvent criminal charges and thus accommodate their venal Masonic political masters perverted desires to bugger underage rent boys.

Then, to add insult to injury, they abuse high legal appointment to the extent of falsifying official documents and committing open court perjury to protect the same degenerate shape-shifting Ninth Circle Orgia sodomites and Speculative Society psychopathic felons from scandalous public exposure for their involvement in Satanic paedophile groups that have a diabolical bent for the group sexual abuse, serial rape and homicidal blood sacrifice of special needs and disabled children.

Thus it becomes a mundane, synchronous task to further abuse their position of official public trust to silence those Christian stalwarts who would dare expose tartan-kilted nonce-ponce kiddie fiddlers by having the Secret Squirrel Brigade arrest, prosecute and imprison them – before the status quo applecart is up-ended and the common herd demographic wake up to what the fuck is really wrong with allowing this inbred blue blood mongrel moneyed Satan-worshipping hierarchy run the government of our once sceptred isle.

Have you been awarded some New Year honour? Would you like to be knighted or given dodgy damehood? Are you willing to become a low life apostate, worship Satan and perform blood sacrifices, sexually abuse children or become an apologist for, and protector of, those that do? Have you any objections to accepting that the Wicked Windsors have a divine right to rob the tax-payers? Are you willing to kiss and lick as many political arses as are stuck in front of your face?

Send your signed compliance to all the above points using the online reply form below and you could win a life peerage - plus a guest slot on Desert Island Dickheads - 'and' a first class honorarium seat on the Gravy Train Express – to Hell.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) disclaimer: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled politicos, bent nonce-ponce money-laundering lawyers and crooked porky plod vassals might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' anxiety-damage casualties, no innocent non-combatant women and children - nor trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry 'felcher-friendly' sized mammals – voles, gerbils, hamsters, cavies, dwarf bunnies, ferrets and otters – or Syrian or Gyppo / pikey refugees - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist epistle.

However, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced.

So a Happy New Year 2016 to one and all of the common herd - and bollocks with a large capital B to political correctness - from here on in this is our legacy - to rip away the Veil of Venus blinkers and awaken people's vigilance against the corrupt establishment's totalitarian encroachment - using their eyes and ears - and brains - to say 'what if?' and make that 'consequences be damned' / 'harm's way' / 'who gives a flying fuck' quantum leap to start thinking for 'themselves' and become agents of their own destiny.

No longer accepting and believing the propaganda and lies our corrupt gutter press and biased goggle box telly spew out in a disingenuous politically correct format – or the ruling regime's sinister de facto belief that kiddie fiddling is a common core cultural value that should be accepted and the age of consent lowered to three years.

To conclude, fuck the Devil's demonic Satanás and the crypto-Judahist sayanim scum – along with the Vatican-regime's flabby, maladjusted Masonic / Opus Dei / Jesuit Ninth Circle / Sovereign Order of the Shites of Malta secret handshake psycho-sodomite-felching-pederast-necrophiliac ruling elitist fraternity – along with their Crapitalist shifty Shylock bankster brethren and their shelf life expired fractional reserve fraudulent and usury-rigged system's zillion % APR mark-ups, toxic credit default swaps, sub-prime whatsit loans and 'bespoke tranche opportunities' (re-branded CDS).

And let's not forget to cast equal curses upon the tents of Big Brother and his Common Purpose Colombine sister – nor overlooking the 'by Divine Right' parasitic anachronisms referred to as the 'Royal Family' - nor the profit-motivated / money-grubbing Moloch / Mammon worshipping Agenda 21 architects of the Rothshite ZioNazi New World Order Globalisers - the Round Table dog wankers, and their Council on Foreign Relations and Trilateral Commission pondscum pals from the Carlyle Group and Kissasser Associates and military-industrial armaments cabal who comprise the elitist ranks of the annual Dildoberger cabal pow-wow – and spin the trans-dimensional reptilian conjured yarn that the tried and tested key to conflict resolution is via more bloody conflict.

Thought for the day: In our 'unqualified' opinion, the only 'deserving' New Year's honours awardee was Irish jockey Tony McCoy. Ride on, into the sunset, 'Sir' Tony.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose and name the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).