Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
There is an old maxim that states “If it wasn’t for bad luck, then they wouldn’t have any” – and that about sums up the G4S (Good-4-Shit) Renta-Thug Security Agency since their recent debacle with failing to supply their contracted quota of 10,000-plus minimum wage morons to guard the 2012 Olympic Games venues – a shortfall that resulted in British Army troops being flown back from opium crop sentry duties in Afghanistan at short notice to be deployed around London and fill the gaping surveillance hole.
Hence, after appearing before a House of Conmans wrist-smacking committee, subservient, cap in hand and apologetic to the point of nausea, G4S’s CEO Dick Chuckles might have been thought correct in assuming “What the fuck else could go wrong?” – ignoring the fact that ‘assumption’ has a habit of wearing a cloak of errors – and as we all (should) know, never tempt Providence with the chance to kick you in the arse – as it will.
To wit we now have bored G4S staff assigned to London’s Stratford Olympic Stadium making hoax terrorist bomb threat calls to the Met’s Plod Squad to liven things up a bit – while over in the good ole US of A, the G4S affiliate / subsidiary security company Wackoff Services Inc (WSI), assigned to guard the Y-12 nuclear weapons complex in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, are about to have their contract scrutinised by a Congressional committee due being derelict in their duties for allowing the facility to be breached by three senior citizen anti-nuclear protesters belonging to the Bolshie anarchist Oak Ridge Environmental Peace Alliance – one being an 82-year old Roman Catholic nun, out for a spot of radical activist adventure.
Led by the octogenarian lock-picking delinquent Sister Mingeeter, the trio bypassed alarms, shorted out the electrified fence, then cut through it and a further two chain link barriers, broke into the facility - undetected by a series of alarms and the high-tech CCTV system – and WSI’s guards - to daub the enriched weapons grade uranium storage building walls with subversive and unpatriotic peacenik slogans.
So, what a circus without a tent G4S and their Great Satan affiliates are – and maligned by international human rights and wrongs groups such as Ox-Rat and Amnesty for their morally-reprehensible, profit-motivated involvement with the Israeli IDF and government in supplying security services to the ultra-paranoid, proto-fascist regime’s detention centres and hunger-strike prisons – especially so the notorious Facility 1391 interrogation facility - ironically located on land stolen from the very Palestinians it serves to detain and torture.
Add to this the litany of complaints regarding their comedy of errors performance in transporting British prisoners from courts to jails with escapes a regular occurence; overdoing their ‘responsibility of care’ two years ago while guarding Angolan deportee Jimmy Mubenga on a repatriation BA Flight 77 at Heathrow and actually killing him - juxtaposed with Olympics-assigned G4S guards, when not busy making hoax bomb calls, spitting at British Army troops and referring to them as “baby-killers”.
Thought for the day. So, for a G4S that’s being viewed as a ‘not fit for purpose’ embarrassment, the only way to justify your existence is pull an ‘inventive security’ bomb hoax stunt – akin to the MI5/ MI6 false flag terror attacks – to rationalise their very existence and increased budgets.
Thomas Hall, a 20-year old student from Norwich, was arrested on July 20th by the Met’s Plod Squad on suspicion of making bomb hoax calls and causing criminal damage at the Olympic venue.
The hapless Hall, hired to work for G4S via their flawed Bridging the Gap scheme – designed to recruit 3,300 students as part of the minimum wage security workforce - was later remanded into custody after being charged by police with communicating a bomb hoax contrary to the Section 51 of the Very Naughty Act 1977.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Sunday, 5 August 2012
UK Gov’ Plan NHS Patient Data Sell-Out
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Zillions of the common herd’s National Ill-Health Service medical records, currently stored in GCHQ’s Big Brother ‘Triple Six’ super-computer, are to be sold off to insidious Big Pharma corporations under the excuse it will assist them in developing new profit-spinning drugs to treat such conditions as Tennis Elbow and Charmaid’s Knee and too the bane of the sex-for-sale industry - Golly-Flogger’s Itch.
PM Posh Dave Sameron announced plans last week to shitcan the personal privacy provisions of the Data Protection Act and mandate radical changes to the NHS Constitution that will sanction hapless patients’ medical records being released to Big Pharma on the questionable premise it will be used for research.
The sinister scheme, known as the Open Data Platform, is already underway and will connect patients’ personal data from their GP, hospitals, venereal disease clinics, drug rehab’ programmes and community services into the GCHQ ‘Beast 666’ centralised data bank ready to flog off to any company for research or selling services back to the NHS – along with credit check and debt collection agencies – and the corrupt bureaucrat snoops staffing the EUSSR in Brussels.
Implied consent for personal data to be used this way will be automatically assumed unless individual Bolshie members of the public suffering from Oppositional Defiance Disorder have the blatant audacity to contest their medical records being made available to every data mining fucker and their dog, and petition family GPs to have their names struck from the Kafkaesque scheme.
Conversely, reflecting on the legion of past instances of government-held personal information being abused, Bazzer McScrote, leader of the Kunt-Watch civil liberties charity campaigners, warned that “We gotta beware cos this data is gonna be re-identified an’ used fer other purposes when it doubtless ends up in the hands of insurance companies, wot will start uppin’ the ante on yer premiums - an’ banks an’ building societies refusin’ yer a loan – just cos yer got some dodgy gene in yer DNA an’ yer gonna get Alzheimer’s an’ forget yer monthly mortgage payments.”
The Libservative cabinet’s Behavioural Insight team, aka the malefic Nudge Unit, are keen to promote the Orwellian scheme to data mine the NHS’ gargantuan information base as Big Pharma’s DNA scanning can be programmed to predict cradle to the grave medical conditions and allow the HMRC and the Department of Works & Pensions to calculate how much in PAYE taxes an individual is likely to contribute to the Chancellor’s Treasury coffers in their lifetime, and what they might attempt to claim in sickness benefit or cost in medical treatment – and predict their longevity – or lack of – to estimate the total outlay of possible pension payments.
Alas the underlying thread in this Mephistophelean scheme has even more profound and insidious Orwellian connotations than those listed above, for while combining genetic data with the results of medical tests might well afford the ability to develop precision medicine, with recent advances in genetic research and computerised ‘prediction’ programmes, Big Pharma, in possession of the afore-mentioned personal data, will be in a position to augur and divine the medical destiny of millions of ‘trusting’ common herd recipients of such toxic vaccinations as MMR during childhood, notorious as the cause of meningitis, encephalitis and cerebral astrocytoma – along with a host of other long-term neurological damage and developed behavioural problems – one of which is autism – and last but not least: death.
Thought for the day. None of this critical information has ever been publicly disclosed by the UK’s NHS nor successive governments, and especially not Big Pharma – while all of the above, along with the infanticide-bent Bill & Belinda Gates Foundation, are still pushing for legally-mandated compliance to have children vaccinated with a legion of noxious substances which compromise and diminish their evolving immune systems rather than boost such.
Such are the end game requirements of Agenda 21 and the human cull ‘extermination’ project.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Zillions of the common herd’s National Ill-Health Service medical records, currently stored in GCHQ’s Big Brother ‘Triple Six’ super-computer, are to be sold off to insidious Big Pharma corporations under the excuse it will assist them in developing new profit-spinning drugs to treat such conditions as Tennis Elbow and Charmaid’s Knee and too the bane of the sex-for-sale industry - Golly-Flogger’s Itch.
PM Posh Dave Sameron announced plans last week to shitcan the personal privacy provisions of the Data Protection Act and mandate radical changes to the NHS Constitution that will sanction hapless patients’ medical records being released to Big Pharma on the questionable premise it will be used for research.
The sinister scheme, known as the Open Data Platform, is already underway and will connect patients’ personal data from their GP, hospitals, venereal disease clinics, drug rehab’ programmes and community services into the GCHQ ‘Beast 666’ centralised data bank ready to flog off to any company for research or selling services back to the NHS – along with credit check and debt collection agencies – and the corrupt bureaucrat snoops staffing the EUSSR in Brussels.
Implied consent for personal data to be used this way will be automatically assumed unless individual Bolshie members of the public suffering from Oppositional Defiance Disorder have the blatant audacity to contest their medical records being made available to every data mining fucker and their dog, and petition family GPs to have their names struck from the Kafkaesque scheme.
Conversely, reflecting on the legion of past instances of government-held personal information being abused, Bazzer McScrote, leader of the Kunt-Watch civil liberties charity campaigners, warned that “We gotta beware cos this data is gonna be re-identified an’ used fer other purposes when it doubtless ends up in the hands of insurance companies, wot will start uppin’ the ante on yer premiums - an’ banks an’ building societies refusin’ yer a loan – just cos yer got some dodgy gene in yer DNA an’ yer gonna get Alzheimer’s an’ forget yer monthly mortgage payments.”
The Libservative cabinet’s Behavioural Insight team, aka the malefic Nudge Unit, are keen to promote the Orwellian scheme to data mine the NHS’ gargantuan information base as Big Pharma’s DNA scanning can be programmed to predict cradle to the grave medical conditions and allow the HMRC and the Department of Works & Pensions to calculate how much in PAYE taxes an individual is likely to contribute to the Chancellor’s Treasury coffers in their lifetime, and what they might attempt to claim in sickness benefit or cost in medical treatment – and predict their longevity – or lack of – to estimate the total outlay of possible pension payments.
Alas the underlying thread in this Mephistophelean scheme has even more profound and insidious Orwellian connotations than those listed above, for while combining genetic data with the results of medical tests might well afford the ability to develop precision medicine, with recent advances in genetic research and computerised ‘prediction’ programmes, Big Pharma, in possession of the afore-mentioned personal data, will be in a position to augur and divine the medical destiny of millions of ‘trusting’ common herd recipients of such toxic vaccinations as MMR during childhood, notorious as the cause of meningitis, encephalitis and cerebral astrocytoma – along with a host of other long-term neurological damage and developed behavioural problems – one of which is autism – and last but not least: death.
Thought for the day. None of this critical information has ever been publicly disclosed by the UK’s NHS nor successive governments, and especially not Big Pharma – while all of the above, along with the infanticide-bent Bill & Belinda Gates Foundation, are still pushing for legally-mandated compliance to have children vaccinated with a legion of noxious substances which compromise and diminish their evolving immune systems rather than boost such.
Such are the end game requirements of Agenda 21 and the human cull ‘extermination’ project.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Saturday, 4 August 2012
Belarus Launch Teddy Bear's Picnic Crackdown
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The ultra-paranoid president of Belarus has resorted to the old tried and tested Stalinist Soviet code of discipline by having his air force and border security chiefs kicked out of their beds before dawn and dragged off at gunpoint – and in chains - to some dismal three star gulag due their incompetence in failing to prevent a light aircraft from dropping – wait for it – a cargo of teddy bears across the length and breadth of the die-hard Marxist utopia - with labels round their woolly necks calling for (shhhh!) DEMOCRACY.
President Alexander Lukashenko - a former cormorant strangler and known to friends and associates alike as a right nasty twat, has, after eighteen years in the dictator’s seat, acquired a certain notoriety for his homicidal tendencies, such as tearing the heads off political opponents and making a hobby of collecting human rights violation complaints from the International Court in the Hague.
These acts of barbarity have served to earn him the psycho sobriquet of the Minsk Mauler and be rightly maligned by foreign human rights groups for retaining many Soviet-era symbols of state power – such as chrome-plated thumbscrews, the Kafkaesque secret police and a host of grotty gulags hidden deep in the country’s dense forests - guarded by regiments of even denser security apparatchik thugs.
A press statement from Lukashenko’s office issued to one reporter from the state-controlled Lackeys Gazette on Tuesday revealed the Chairman of the State Border Committee, Maj Gen Igor Numptsky and Air Defence Commander Maj Gen Oleg Dumbfuck had been relieved from their official posts for failing in their duties to prevent the Operation Teddy infiltration.
The plane, chartered by a Swedish human rights group, Shit-Stirrers, dropped thousands of cuddly teddies across Belarus and the outskirts of the capital Minsk during the course of its flight from a base in Lithuania – with the bears descending on little parachutes with labels hung around their necks calling for fresh elections and a freedom of speech picnic.
Agents of the Ninth Chief Directorate security service, whose primary task is to target the President's political enemies, and bound by neither judicial or legislative oversight, have arrested several thousand hapless Belarusians suspected of aiding and abetting the Swedish stunt – including professional anarchist Anton Shitoutaluck and Sergei Bottlesgone, a career self-harming journalist, who if found guilty, could face up to a hundred year hard labour sentence in the remote Navapolatsky Marmite mines.
Lukashenko has been slammed by international human rights and wrongs groups for his repeated crack downs on opponents and anyone else who incurs his rabid wrath – with the 2010 elections marred by reports of abuses when the political competition candidates disappeared the night before the nationwide ballot was due – and turned up dead two days later in Minsk’s Druzhby Norodaw Park after taking part in a collective suicide pact and shooting each other through the back of the head – twice.
Vitaly Pissoffsky, Amnesty International’s director for Eastern Europe, spoke to press hacks concerning the opposition party murders conspiracy and the recent teddy bear protest, declaring “The suicide story has as much veracity as the entire Polish government getting killed in a plane crash while landing in Smolensk two years ago - Lukashenko simply had the political opposition murdered and his graft and corruption-ridden Practical Pig Kleptocracy Party won the vote and stayed in power.”
“Waltzing with dictators is forever a problem when you are dealing with homicidal maniacs who hate teddy bears, and we don’t know if the rabid likes of Lukashenko are best described as a despot - or simply a tosspot”
“He views anyone who dares disagree with him as a non-conformist radical, and when the only tool in your political service kit is a hammer then every problem gets treated like a nail and belted into submission.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
The ultra-paranoid president of Belarus has resorted to the old tried and tested Stalinist Soviet code of discipline by having his air force and border security chiefs kicked out of their beds before dawn and dragged off at gunpoint – and in chains - to some dismal three star gulag due their incompetence in failing to prevent a light aircraft from dropping – wait for it – a cargo of teddy bears across the length and breadth of the die-hard Marxist utopia - with labels round their woolly necks calling for (shhhh!) DEMOCRACY.
President Alexander Lukashenko - a former cormorant strangler and known to friends and associates alike as a right nasty twat, has, after eighteen years in the dictator’s seat, acquired a certain notoriety for his homicidal tendencies, such as tearing the heads off political opponents and making a hobby of collecting human rights violation complaints from the International Court in the Hague.
These acts of barbarity have served to earn him the psycho sobriquet of the Minsk Mauler and be rightly maligned by foreign human rights groups for retaining many Soviet-era symbols of state power – such as chrome-plated thumbscrews, the Kafkaesque secret police and a host of grotty gulags hidden deep in the country’s dense forests - guarded by regiments of even denser security apparatchik thugs.
A press statement from Lukashenko’s office issued to one reporter from the state-controlled Lackeys Gazette on Tuesday revealed the Chairman of the State Border Committee, Maj Gen Igor Numptsky and Air Defence Commander Maj Gen Oleg Dumbfuck had been relieved from their official posts for failing in their duties to prevent the Operation Teddy infiltration.
The plane, chartered by a Swedish human rights group, Shit-Stirrers, dropped thousands of cuddly teddies across Belarus and the outskirts of the capital Minsk during the course of its flight from a base in Lithuania – with the bears descending on little parachutes with labels hung around their necks calling for fresh elections and a freedom of speech picnic.
Agents of the Ninth Chief Directorate security service, whose primary task is to target the President's political enemies, and bound by neither judicial or legislative oversight, have arrested several thousand hapless Belarusians suspected of aiding and abetting the Swedish stunt – including professional anarchist Anton Shitoutaluck and Sergei Bottlesgone, a career self-harming journalist, who if found guilty, could face up to a hundred year hard labour sentence in the remote Navapolatsky Marmite mines.
Lukashenko has been slammed by international human rights and wrongs groups for his repeated crack downs on opponents and anyone else who incurs his rabid wrath – with the 2010 elections marred by reports of abuses when the political competition candidates disappeared the night before the nationwide ballot was due – and turned up dead two days later in Minsk’s Druzhby Norodaw Park after taking part in a collective suicide pact and shooting each other through the back of the head – twice.
Vitaly Pissoffsky, Amnesty International’s director for Eastern Europe, spoke to press hacks concerning the opposition party murders conspiracy and the recent teddy bear protest, declaring “The suicide story has as much veracity as the entire Polish government getting killed in a plane crash while landing in Smolensk two years ago - Lukashenko simply had the political opposition murdered and his graft and corruption-ridden Practical Pig Kleptocracy Party won the vote and stayed in power.”
“Waltzing with dictators is forever a problem when you are dealing with homicidal maniacs who hate teddy bears, and we don’t know if the rabid likes of Lukashenko are best described as a despot - or simply a tosspot”
“He views anyone who dares disagree with him as a non-conformist radical, and when the only tool in your political service kit is a hammer then every problem gets treated like a nail and belted into submission.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Friday, 3 August 2012
Austerity Dave Hosts Vlad Putrid Visit
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Posh Dave Scameron’s juggling several hot potatoes this week as he attempts to keep one eye on the ball and a finger on the nation’s pulse - plus deal with the distraction of having to order Scotland Yard to get their proverbial shit together and track down the tea-leaf who nicked Bradley Wiggins Lycra cycling kit from his hotel room laundry pile - admonishing the Met’s head of Organised Crime, DAC Sue Knackers with “We can’t have Bradders riding a bike around Stratford in his sodding birthday suit and bollocks hanging out just because some Asbo oick’s stolen his Olympics kit, now can we?”
Oh yes, Dave’s flat out like a lizard drinking, what with Afghanistan, Iran, Syria, the banksters, Libor, Broken Britain’s double-dip depression, burgeoning unemployment, additional G4S fubars, the eurozone crisis, and watching out for New Labour – and too his own Tory and Lib-Dum back-stabbers every time he sets foot in the House of Conmans – with hardly time to catch his breath and ensure Number 10’s kitchen skivvies keep the samovar on the boil and chill a couple of flagons of Bargain Booze’s vintage Stolichnaya ready for Thursday’s visit by Russian President Vlad Putrid and a delegation of his ex-KGB Mafia cohorts, to view the Olympic judo events.
Downing Street’s cabinet spokeswoman, ‘Soundbite Scabby’ Bertin, informed press hacks “Posh Dave’s really run off his feet this week, with all the 2012 Olympics brouhaha - and making sure Mossad don’t pull another false flag terrorist attack like they did on 7/7, without clearing it with him first. Plus he’s stood in front of the mirror every chance he gets, practicing his ju-jitsu moves and karate blows, just in case Mr Putrid tried to give him a ‘knuckle-crusher’ or a Chinese Burn when they shake hands.”
“Of course, they’ll have tons to discuss, as Dave wants to get President Putrid on our side over Syria and stop this silly vetoing of the UN Security Council vote to prevent us sending in NATO troops to help the rebels overthrow Basher Assad’s nasty regime of baby killers so they can have elections and enjoy a democratic system of government, just as they've got in Libya now since that awful Gaddafi person was dropped down a sewer – and in Bahrain or wherever it is the peasants have been complaining the King’s a total prat.”
“Of course, the Pussy Riot punk rock group trial is on the discussions agenda also, to make sure those poor girls get a fair hearing before they’re sent off to the Siberian gulags for seven-years on a charge of hooliganism, which we consider entirely disproportionate for what is viewed here as a minor breach of the peace, punished with an Asbo or a Community Service Order. Really, the Spanish Inquisition’s gone, and no-one gets burned at the stake anymore for a spot of blasphemy and irreverently gobbing off and swearing in church.”
“I’m sure President Putrid wants to keep Baron Rothshite and the Israelis happy too, and see an end to the violence in Syria, just the same as Prime Minister Scameron – even if things will have to hot up for a while when we send NATO in to give the al Qaeda rebels a bit of a hand and make sure the Assad gang get the hoof.”
“Then it will be up to the opposition forces to sort their own fanatical sectarian differences out with a bit of a civil war, the same as Iraq and Libya – and eventually hold democratic elections and form a government.”
“Really, all this Sunni and Cher and Shias and Shits and Shites Islamic cultish rubbish is beyond me. Why can’t they all be Christians like the rest of us and get along together?”
Thought for the day. While Posh Dave might well be pushing Putrid to do his bit by persuading China they should both curtail their veto of a UN vote to send in NATO troops to ‘end to the conflict in Syria’ – by, ironically, expanding it first – Vlad the Impaler was quick to point out that Western propaganda viz a ‘stable’ Syria was total hypocrisy as the country enjoyed a ‘stable’ socio-political situation until the ZioNazi Great Satan’s ‘Arab Spring’ revolts were kick started and rebel mercenary groups, funded by Western proxy Arab states – specifically Qatar and Saudi Arabia – declared war on Basher al Assad’s incumbent Ba’athist regime.
The gospel according to president Putrid reads: “Now they want to do to Syria what was done to Libya - once the richest country in Africa and now a chaotic NATO puppet state run by out of control sectarian thugs who have imprisoned, tortured and killed thousands of Libyans.”
“While Scameron and I agree that we both wish to see an end to the conflict in Syria, my advice is for the West to stop funding the foreign mercenaries comprising the rebel groups that pose as this fictitious Free Syrian Army and let President Assad get on with wiping them out – then they can hold democratic elections.”
“If we allow Syria to fall to this Zionist conspiracy – this insidious plot – then next will be Lebanon to neuter Hezbollah, then it will be Iran – and if that succeeds then Pakiland will be on their agenda and balkanised via the route of a breakaway Balochistan – and once the Islamabad regime is truly debilitated to the point of impotency, then the Zionists will seize their nuclear weapons arsenal. That is the Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion end game plan strategy.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Posh Dave Scameron’s juggling several hot potatoes this week as he attempts to keep one eye on the ball and a finger on the nation’s pulse - plus deal with the distraction of having to order Scotland Yard to get their proverbial shit together and track down the tea-leaf who nicked Bradley Wiggins Lycra cycling kit from his hotel room laundry pile - admonishing the Met’s head of Organised Crime, DAC Sue Knackers with “We can’t have Bradders riding a bike around Stratford in his sodding birthday suit and bollocks hanging out just because some Asbo oick’s stolen his Olympics kit, now can we?”
Oh yes, Dave’s flat out like a lizard drinking, what with Afghanistan, Iran, Syria, the banksters, Libor, Broken Britain’s double-dip depression, burgeoning unemployment, additional G4S fubars, the eurozone crisis, and watching out for New Labour – and too his own Tory and Lib-Dum back-stabbers every time he sets foot in the House of Conmans – with hardly time to catch his breath and ensure Number 10’s kitchen skivvies keep the samovar on the boil and chill a couple of flagons of Bargain Booze’s vintage Stolichnaya ready for Thursday’s visit by Russian President Vlad Putrid and a delegation of his ex-KGB Mafia cohorts, to view the Olympic judo events.
Downing Street’s cabinet spokeswoman, ‘Soundbite Scabby’ Bertin, informed press hacks “Posh Dave’s really run off his feet this week, with all the 2012 Olympics brouhaha - and making sure Mossad don’t pull another false flag terrorist attack like they did on 7/7, without clearing it with him first. Plus he’s stood in front of the mirror every chance he gets, practicing his ju-jitsu moves and karate blows, just in case Mr Putrid tried to give him a ‘knuckle-crusher’ or a Chinese Burn when they shake hands.”
“Of course, they’ll have tons to discuss, as Dave wants to get President Putrid on our side over Syria and stop this silly vetoing of the UN Security Council vote to prevent us sending in NATO troops to help the rebels overthrow Basher Assad’s nasty regime of baby killers so they can have elections and enjoy a democratic system of government, just as they've got in Libya now since that awful Gaddafi person was dropped down a sewer – and in Bahrain or wherever it is the peasants have been complaining the King’s a total prat.”
“Of course, the Pussy Riot punk rock group trial is on the discussions agenda also, to make sure those poor girls get a fair hearing before they’re sent off to the Siberian gulags for seven-years on a charge of hooliganism, which we consider entirely disproportionate for what is viewed here as a minor breach of the peace, punished with an Asbo or a Community Service Order. Really, the Spanish Inquisition’s gone, and no-one gets burned at the stake anymore for a spot of blasphemy and irreverently gobbing off and swearing in church.”
“I’m sure President Putrid wants to keep Baron Rothshite and the Israelis happy too, and see an end to the violence in Syria, just the same as Prime Minister Scameron – even if things will have to hot up for a while when we send NATO in to give the al Qaeda rebels a bit of a hand and make sure the Assad gang get the hoof.”
“Then it will be up to the opposition forces to sort their own fanatical sectarian differences out with a bit of a civil war, the same as Iraq and Libya – and eventually hold democratic elections and form a government.”
“Really, all this Sunni and Cher and Shias and Shits and Shites Islamic cultish rubbish is beyond me. Why can’t they all be Christians like the rest of us and get along together?”
Thought for the day. While Posh Dave might well be pushing Putrid to do his bit by persuading China they should both curtail their veto of a UN vote to send in NATO troops to ‘end to the conflict in Syria’ – by, ironically, expanding it first – Vlad the Impaler was quick to point out that Western propaganda viz a ‘stable’ Syria was total hypocrisy as the country enjoyed a ‘stable’ socio-political situation until the ZioNazi Great Satan’s ‘Arab Spring’ revolts were kick started and rebel mercenary groups, funded by Western proxy Arab states – specifically Qatar and Saudi Arabia – declared war on Basher al Assad’s incumbent Ba’athist regime.
The gospel according to president Putrid reads: “Now they want to do to Syria what was done to Libya - once the richest country in Africa and now a chaotic NATO puppet state run by out of control sectarian thugs who have imprisoned, tortured and killed thousands of Libyans.”
“While Scameron and I agree that we both wish to see an end to the conflict in Syria, my advice is for the West to stop funding the foreign mercenaries comprising the rebel groups that pose as this fictitious Free Syrian Army and let President Assad get on with wiping them out – then they can hold democratic elections.”
“If we allow Syria to fall to this Zionist conspiracy – this insidious plot – then next will be Lebanon to neuter Hezbollah, then it will be Iran – and if that succeeds then Pakiland will be on their agenda and balkanised via the route of a breakaway Balochistan – and once the Islamabad regime is truly debilitated to the point of impotency, then the Zionists will seize their nuclear weapons arsenal. That is the Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion end game plan strategy.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Thursday, 2 August 2012
Britain is Broken: Cannot be Mended
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
As a stellar illustration of what the gross incompetence of successive governments (Major / Bliar / Broon / Scameron-Clogg) since the menopausal maniac days of Mad Maggie - coupled with the inherent graft and corruption culture that goes with power politics - has done to bring Britain to its current sad state of de-industrialised ‘brokenness’ - on the 29th June a 48-year-old unemployed man chained himself to a row of railings outside the Smelly Oak Joblesscentre in Birmingstan, doused his person with a litre of decaffeinated gasoline obtained on credit from the Wonga payday loan shop, then set himself alight - in protest of having his welfare benefits revoked.
This horrific event is the direct outcome of the austerity measures implemented by the Conservative / Librarian-Dummercrat Coalition - wherein the ‘victim’ had been previously assessed by a medical board and pronounced ‘vulnerable’, with longstanding health issues - but in accordance with the government’s revised penny-pinching ‘Parsimony Doctrine’, he was recently judged as being as “fit as a fiddle” by a work-capability assessment board, ordered to find a job - and his unemployment benefit payments cancelled.
In light (no pun intended) of the above self-immolation incident, apparently inspired by a Discovery Channel episode about attention-seeking Buddhist monks in Tibet, Ian Duncan Smith, the grossly-incompetent Minister for Works & Pensions (and Tory MP for Chigley and Camberwick Green) has issued official policy guidance on how to deal with a claimant who threatens suicide – now leaked to the Whistle Blowers Gazette by snitching moles working for the Ox-Rat civil rights abuse watchdog charity.
The 350-page guidelines handbook – aptly titled ‘Self-Harm Help for Dummies’ – will be henceforth adopted by all government departments and quangos dealing with the unwashed benefit-claiming public to assist in managing real and false suicide declarations from customers with an attitude.
Page 1 of the ‘secret’ manual - (which will contain the national switchboard phone number for the Samaritans and an illustrated first-aid CPR section - plus a tourniquet) - states: “Some unemployed slob may say they intend to hang themselves or rip their own heads off as a threat or tactic to ‘persuade’ a DWP or Jobcentre counsellor to approve their benefit claim, while others will mean it and actually slash their carotid artery in an act of ultimate despair when searching the in-house computer database for non-existent jobs.”
“Thus as it is an impossible task to differentiate between individuals only posing a self-harm threat and those that mean it, counsellors being at the frontline should alert their in-house G4S Renta-Moron security guard at the first sign of trouble and have the client sectioned in the nearest nuthouse under the statutes of mental health legislation before they get chance to spill their own disembowelled intestines all over the centre’s carpet.”
Bev Titwank, an appeals officer for Disability Solutions, a charity group that assists benefit claimants bent on a futile mission to overturn negative decisions made following work capability assessment tests that found them fit for work, related one applicant, a quadriplegic who could only move his lips and bat his eyelids, was declared fit for work by the bonkers assessment panel, his benefits curtailed and sent for an interview as a quality control tester at Wrigleys chewing gum factory.
The forecast increase in welfare benefit claimant suicides has been predicted to occur once the Libservative Coalition’s Welfare Reform Bill passes through the House of Conmans and hundreds of thousands of hapless unemployed and disabled peasants are stricken from the basic social security benefit rolls due the intended draconian sanctions. In readiness, Jobcentres are being supplied with stocks of body bags to deal with the self-harm fatalities.
The government intends to transfer all 2:4 million claimants, which ministers and DWP staff alike all view with contempt, onto Employment Support Allowance which they’ll only receive when they find – wait for it – ‘employment’ – a remuneration reward package colloquially referred to as ‘wages’ or ‘a salary’.
Under the ESA scheme all 2:4 million people will face re-testing – with five hundred hurriedly-hired pikey doctors tasked to expedite 10,000 assessments per week over the next five years.
The vital youth of our once-sceptred isle – a nation’s greatest asset - account for a substantial section of the total jobless, with one million aged below 25 out of work – and that number set to increase at a geometric rate now school leavers walk out of the classrooms for the last time in July – and into a job-famine wilderness where the majority of industrial employers have forgotten what the term 'apprenticeship’ means and simply hire another language-challenged economic migrant from the EUSSR willing to work for shit wages.
Chantelle McSkanger, a 16-year old mother of three from Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim council housing estate – the biggest NEET blackspot in the known Universe where every home has at least one Asbo resident – told one press hack from the Self-Harmers Gazette that: “Personally I blame this clusterfuck of a Libservative Coalition an’ that smarmy posh twat Scameron fer the unemployment mess an’ slashin’ our effin’ benefits.”
“I had a real cosy deal goin’ before I had ter show me arse at some ‘assessment board’ an’ these tossers sez “Yer fit ter work so shove yer kids in a day nursery an’ get a job” – then they stop me child benefit an’ what-have-yer an’ I can’t even afford a decent bottle of plonk anymore an’ had ter start suppin’ that Shite Lightnin’ cider and Meths Breezers crap wot yer get from the booze section of the Pound Stretcher shops.”
“So fuck ‘em, I say, an’ me an’ me mate Feral Beryl leaves the kids wiv her Mum of a night an’ we heads down ter the Gay Village an’ Canal Street floggin’ our gollies – wot’s all cash in hand an’ tax free undeclared income – an’ this poxy government can stick their benefits up their effin’ jacksy.”
So much for dysfunctional families. Britain’s ‘broken’ as it’s being run by Scameron and Clogg’s ‘dysfunctional government’. As to Posh Dave’s Big Society concept, staffed wholly by ‘volunteers’ – well that’s doomed to fail as the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of a volunteer states ‘Someone who has totally misunderstood the question put to them’.
The entire shebang’s a circus without a tent - a Dog & Pony Show – and we’ve seen better organised riots.
Oh yes, it truly is one hell of a mismanaged fiasco, where the public purse bails out private banks for their incompetence, who then turn around and fail to provide the needed credits to businesses and entrepreneurs, indirectly damaging the economy by impeding employment and businesses’ development, which since the last bailout has contributed to the worst manufacturing performance in more than three years and proves beyond all reasonable doubt that the coalition’s cuts and austerity policies are achieving the same success as trying to shove butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot knitting needle.
During the mad cow disease epidemic the government tracked a single suspect of the bovine species in Cumbria back to where it was born at the other end of England three years previously – but today we are informed that our Borders Agency is clueless when it comes to locating some 160,000 illegal immigrants wandering around Britain.
Thought for the day: The grossly underestimated ‘official’ number of unemployed peasants in Britain, still signed on at the Joblesscentre now stands at 2.48 million – with a further 2 million who no longer qualify for unemployment benefits so can’t be arsed signing on for nothing and wasting their time searching for non-existent work.
So, what’s the next soundbite promo’ from Downing Street’s ‘Nudge Unit?
“Unemployed? No jobs in sight? The G4S Renta-Thug’s ‘Bridging the Gap’ programme failed you too? Don’t become a burden on government. Have you considered suicide – the easy way out?”
Hmmm, a pity the benefit-less unemployed homeless don’t consider another option: a full-circle socio-political revolution and the overthrow of the corrupt and fatally-flawed capitalist system that has wrought this calamitous state of affairs upon them.
A wise maxim states that a society can be judged by how it treats its most vulnerable members – the disabled - which currently translates as a total condemnation of this pantomime farce of a Libservative Coalition government.
And we know how this pathetic excuse for a ‘government’ and our national Plod Squad thugs feel about ‘the disabled’ - and their disgusting attitude towards the ‘responsibility of care’. Just Google up ‘student tuition fee protests 2010’ and see how they treated Jody McIntire – tossed out of his wheelchair and dragged by the scruff of the neck across the road – “for his own protection” – no less.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
As a stellar illustration of what the gross incompetence of successive governments (Major / Bliar / Broon / Scameron-Clogg) since the menopausal maniac days of Mad Maggie - coupled with the inherent graft and corruption culture that goes with power politics - has done to bring Britain to its current sad state of de-industrialised ‘brokenness’ - on the 29th June a 48-year-old unemployed man chained himself to a row of railings outside the Smelly Oak Joblesscentre in Birmingstan, doused his person with a litre of decaffeinated gasoline obtained on credit from the Wonga payday loan shop, then set himself alight - in protest of having his welfare benefits revoked.
This horrific event is the direct outcome of the austerity measures implemented by the Conservative / Librarian-Dummercrat Coalition - wherein the ‘victim’ had been previously assessed by a medical board and pronounced ‘vulnerable’, with longstanding health issues - but in accordance with the government’s revised penny-pinching ‘Parsimony Doctrine’, he was recently judged as being as “fit as a fiddle” by a work-capability assessment board, ordered to find a job - and his unemployment benefit payments cancelled.
In light (no pun intended) of the above self-immolation incident, apparently inspired by a Discovery Channel episode about attention-seeking Buddhist monks in Tibet, Ian Duncan Smith, the grossly-incompetent Minister for Works & Pensions (and Tory MP for Chigley and Camberwick Green) has issued official policy guidance on how to deal with a claimant who threatens suicide – now leaked to the Whistle Blowers Gazette by snitching moles working for the Ox-Rat civil rights abuse watchdog charity.
The 350-page guidelines handbook – aptly titled ‘Self-Harm Help for Dummies’ – will be henceforth adopted by all government departments and quangos dealing with the unwashed benefit-claiming public to assist in managing real and false suicide declarations from customers with an attitude.
Page 1 of the ‘secret’ manual - (which will contain the national switchboard phone number for the Samaritans and an illustrated first-aid CPR section - plus a tourniquet) - states: “Some unemployed slob may say they intend to hang themselves or rip their own heads off as a threat or tactic to ‘persuade’ a DWP or Jobcentre counsellor to approve their benefit claim, while others will mean it and actually slash their carotid artery in an act of ultimate despair when searching the in-house computer database for non-existent jobs.”
“Thus as it is an impossible task to differentiate between individuals only posing a self-harm threat and those that mean it, counsellors being at the frontline should alert their in-house G4S Renta-Moron security guard at the first sign of trouble and have the client sectioned in the nearest nuthouse under the statutes of mental health legislation before they get chance to spill their own disembowelled intestines all over the centre’s carpet.”
Bev Titwank, an appeals officer for Disability Solutions, a charity group that assists benefit claimants bent on a futile mission to overturn negative decisions made following work capability assessment tests that found them fit for work, related one applicant, a quadriplegic who could only move his lips and bat his eyelids, was declared fit for work by the bonkers assessment panel, his benefits curtailed and sent for an interview as a quality control tester at Wrigleys chewing gum factory.
The forecast increase in welfare benefit claimant suicides has been predicted to occur once the Libservative Coalition’s Welfare Reform Bill passes through the House of Conmans and hundreds of thousands of hapless unemployed and disabled peasants are stricken from the basic social security benefit rolls due the intended draconian sanctions. In readiness, Jobcentres are being supplied with stocks of body bags to deal with the self-harm fatalities.
The government intends to transfer all 2:4 million claimants, which ministers and DWP staff alike all view with contempt, onto Employment Support Allowance which they’ll only receive when they find – wait for it – ‘employment’ – a remuneration reward package colloquially referred to as ‘wages’ or ‘a salary’.
Under the ESA scheme all 2:4 million people will face re-testing – with five hundred hurriedly-hired pikey doctors tasked to expedite 10,000 assessments per week over the next five years.
The vital youth of our once-sceptred isle – a nation’s greatest asset - account for a substantial section of the total jobless, with one million aged below 25 out of work – and that number set to increase at a geometric rate now school leavers walk out of the classrooms for the last time in July – and into a job-famine wilderness where the majority of industrial employers have forgotten what the term 'apprenticeship’ means and simply hire another language-challenged economic migrant from the EUSSR willing to work for shit wages.
Chantelle McSkanger, a 16-year old mother of three from Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim council housing estate – the biggest NEET blackspot in the known Universe where every home has at least one Asbo resident – told one press hack from the Self-Harmers Gazette that: “Personally I blame this clusterfuck of a Libservative Coalition an’ that smarmy posh twat Scameron fer the unemployment mess an’ slashin’ our effin’ benefits.”
“I had a real cosy deal goin’ before I had ter show me arse at some ‘assessment board’ an’ these tossers sez “Yer fit ter work so shove yer kids in a day nursery an’ get a job” – then they stop me child benefit an’ what-have-yer an’ I can’t even afford a decent bottle of plonk anymore an’ had ter start suppin’ that Shite Lightnin’ cider and Meths Breezers crap wot yer get from the booze section of the Pound Stretcher shops.”
“So fuck ‘em, I say, an’ me an’ me mate Feral Beryl leaves the kids wiv her Mum of a night an’ we heads down ter the Gay Village an’ Canal Street floggin’ our gollies – wot’s all cash in hand an’ tax free undeclared income – an’ this poxy government can stick their benefits up their effin’ jacksy.”
So much for dysfunctional families. Britain’s ‘broken’ as it’s being run by Scameron and Clogg’s ‘dysfunctional government’. As to Posh Dave’s Big Society concept, staffed wholly by ‘volunteers’ – well that’s doomed to fail as the Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of a volunteer states ‘Someone who has totally misunderstood the question put to them’.
The entire shebang’s a circus without a tent - a Dog & Pony Show – and we’ve seen better organised riots.
Oh yes, it truly is one hell of a mismanaged fiasco, where the public purse bails out private banks for their incompetence, who then turn around and fail to provide the needed credits to businesses and entrepreneurs, indirectly damaging the economy by impeding employment and businesses’ development, which since the last bailout has contributed to the worst manufacturing performance in more than three years and proves beyond all reasonable doubt that the coalition’s cuts and austerity policies are achieving the same success as trying to shove butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot knitting needle.
During the mad cow disease epidemic the government tracked a single suspect of the bovine species in Cumbria back to where it was born at the other end of England three years previously – but today we are informed that our Borders Agency is clueless when it comes to locating some 160,000 illegal immigrants wandering around Britain.
Thought for the day: The grossly underestimated ‘official’ number of unemployed peasants in Britain, still signed on at the Joblesscentre now stands at 2.48 million – with a further 2 million who no longer qualify for unemployment benefits so can’t be arsed signing on for nothing and wasting their time searching for non-existent work.
So, what’s the next soundbite promo’ from Downing Street’s ‘Nudge Unit?
“Unemployed? No jobs in sight? The G4S Renta-Thug’s ‘Bridging the Gap’ programme failed you too? Don’t become a burden on government. Have you considered suicide – the easy way out?”
Hmmm, a pity the benefit-less unemployed homeless don’t consider another option: a full-circle socio-political revolution and the overthrow of the corrupt and fatally-flawed capitalist system that has wrought this calamitous state of affairs upon them.
A wise maxim states that a society can be judged by how it treats its most vulnerable members – the disabled - which currently translates as a total condemnation of this pantomime farce of a Libservative Coalition government.
And we know how this pathetic excuse for a ‘government’ and our national Plod Squad thugs feel about ‘the disabled’ - and their disgusting attitude towards the ‘responsibility of care’. Just Google up ‘student tuition fee protests 2010’ and see how they treated Jody McIntire – tossed out of his wheelchair and dragged by the scruff of the neck across the road – “for his own protection” – no less.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Wednesday, 1 August 2012
US Claim Swimmer Ye has Fish DNA
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
British Olympics chief Lord Colin Moynihan yesterday spit the proverbial dummy over what he termed ‘sour grapes’ and publicly slammed a US Games official for accusing the 16-year old Chinese gold medallist Ye Shiwen of being a ‘dope fiend’ after she won Saturday’s 400 metres swimming medley fair and square.
“Oh dear, how sad, John Leonard’s nose is out of joint due their ‘Great White Hope’ Lizzie Beisel getting beaten by Beijing’s ‘Great Yellow Hope’ – which simply goes to show the Yanks need to train harder and come to terms with the fact that someone has to lose. Obviously the Chinese Olympic team’s restricted diet regime of fish and rice - and two jumps at the cupboard door for dessert - beats McD’s fast food chew and spew washed down with fizzy aspartame-laced Coke.”
The bone of contention lies in the fact that Ye Shiwen knocked five seconds off her personal best to break the world record and win a gold medal in the 400 metres pool event – swimming at a rate of knots best described by sports media presenters as ‘faster than a speeding mullet’.
Conversely, the target of Lord Moynihan’s ire, US coach John Leonard - the executive director of the World Swimming Association – opined to one press hack from the Crackheads Gazette that Ye’s speed through the water was unbelievable – wholly ignoring her perfected ‘power-to-weight ratio’ and further hinting that the win over US contender Beisel, who came in second place to claim the silver medal, was due the use of performance-enhancing drugs.
Regardless of Moynihan’s sanctifying beatification bestowed on Ms Shiwen, the sourpuss Leonard, executive director of the WSCWA (World Swimming Coaches Whingeing Association), refused to be outdone and further disparaged Ye’s win, claiming the she reminded him of the East German women swimmers in the 1980s, who were caught doping up with steroids and ‘speed’ on a systematic basis – and two discovered to be hermaphrodites.
“I ain’t forgotten what kind of tricks these Commies get up to – just like that Russian scumbag Boris Onischenko back in the 1976 Montreal fencing events, and his ‘magic’ epee.”
"The history of Olympic sports events proves that every time we are presented with an extraordinary physical performance it always turns out that doping was involved. Okay, if this Moynihan guy says the drug tests are clear, then I say we need to check her DNA cos these sneaky Chinks will try anything to win and I wouldn’t mind betting she’s the subject of genetic manipulation and might be a half-human / half fish chimera that’s more at home in water than on land.”
“Hey, I ain’t joking here, this kid might just be a genetic hybrid amphibian, so there’s little wonder they call her the Mandarin Mermaid, who learned to swim before she could walk - and in my opinion the webbed feet and gills are a dead giveaway of DNA tampering.”
In contrast the US Olympic Committee (USOC) has been quick to distance itself from Leonard's politically incorrect outburst, ensuring Beijing that he is not part of their delegation.
USOC spokesman Billy Bob Winklepicker informed the Grouchers Review that “Leonard’s the type of guy you can take anywhere twice – the second time to apologise – and his comments concerning Ms Ye Shiwen are an independent view and fuck all to do with us."
“Believe me, Wada (the World Anti-Doping Agency) are right on the ball, testing every fucker and their dog, so if anyone turns up stoned they’re bound to spot it. Leonard needs to remember that the Olympics are about the world's best athletes competing at the highest level – so records are getting broken faster than a sodomite’s celibacy vows in a Roman Catholic seminary.”
Chinese Olympics chief coach Flip Flop Fong had this to say to the media “Wat da fuck wrong wid dese people, ha? Da Yanks just sore losers cos dey don’t win all da time an’ our swimmer Ye is like torpedo.”
“Maybe they should train like our athletes, run twenty miles non-stop every morning pulling a rickshaw loaded wid fat old ladies – an’ have da added incentive of knowing dat if dey don’t win dere event den dere family gonna end up in one of China’s Smiley Face organ donor centres an’ missing a kidney each.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
British Olympics chief Lord Colin Moynihan yesterday spit the proverbial dummy over what he termed ‘sour grapes’ and publicly slammed a US Games official for accusing the 16-year old Chinese gold medallist Ye Shiwen of being a ‘dope fiend’ after she won Saturday’s 400 metres swimming medley fair and square.
“Oh dear, how sad, John Leonard’s nose is out of joint due their ‘Great White Hope’ Lizzie Beisel getting beaten by Beijing’s ‘Great Yellow Hope’ – which simply goes to show the Yanks need to train harder and come to terms with the fact that someone has to lose. Obviously the Chinese Olympic team’s restricted diet regime of fish and rice - and two jumps at the cupboard door for dessert - beats McD’s fast food chew and spew washed down with fizzy aspartame-laced Coke.”
The bone of contention lies in the fact that Ye Shiwen knocked five seconds off her personal best to break the world record and win a gold medal in the 400 metres pool event – swimming at a rate of knots best described by sports media presenters as ‘faster than a speeding mullet’.
Conversely, the target of Lord Moynihan’s ire, US coach John Leonard - the executive director of the World Swimming Association – opined to one press hack from the Crackheads Gazette that Ye’s speed through the water was unbelievable – wholly ignoring her perfected ‘power-to-weight ratio’ and further hinting that the win over US contender Beisel, who came in second place to claim the silver medal, was due the use of performance-enhancing drugs.
Regardless of Moynihan’s sanctifying beatification bestowed on Ms Shiwen, the sourpuss Leonard, executive director of the WSCWA (World Swimming Coaches Whingeing Association), refused to be outdone and further disparaged Ye’s win, claiming the she reminded him of the East German women swimmers in the 1980s, who were caught doping up with steroids and ‘speed’ on a systematic basis – and two discovered to be hermaphrodites.
“I ain’t forgotten what kind of tricks these Commies get up to – just like that Russian scumbag Boris Onischenko back in the 1976 Montreal fencing events, and his ‘magic’ epee.”
"The history of Olympic sports events proves that every time we are presented with an extraordinary physical performance it always turns out that doping was involved. Okay, if this Moynihan guy says the drug tests are clear, then I say we need to check her DNA cos these sneaky Chinks will try anything to win and I wouldn’t mind betting she’s the subject of genetic manipulation and might be a half-human / half fish chimera that’s more at home in water than on land.”
“Hey, I ain’t joking here, this kid might just be a genetic hybrid amphibian, so there’s little wonder they call her the Mandarin Mermaid, who learned to swim before she could walk - and in my opinion the webbed feet and gills are a dead giveaway of DNA tampering.”
In contrast the US Olympic Committee (USOC) has been quick to distance itself from Leonard's politically incorrect outburst, ensuring Beijing that he is not part of their delegation.
USOC spokesman Billy Bob Winklepicker informed the Grouchers Review that “Leonard’s the type of guy you can take anywhere twice – the second time to apologise – and his comments concerning Ms Ye Shiwen are an independent view and fuck all to do with us."
“Believe me, Wada (the World Anti-Doping Agency) are right on the ball, testing every fucker and their dog, so if anyone turns up stoned they’re bound to spot it. Leonard needs to remember that the Olympics are about the world's best athletes competing at the highest level – so records are getting broken faster than a sodomite’s celibacy vows in a Roman Catholic seminary.”
Chinese Olympics chief coach Flip Flop Fong had this to say to the media “Wat da fuck wrong wid dese people, ha? Da Yanks just sore losers cos dey don’t win all da time an’ our swimmer Ye is like torpedo.”
“Maybe they should train like our athletes, run twenty miles non-stop every morning pulling a rickshaw loaded wid fat old ladies – an’ have da added incentive of knowing dat if dey don’t win dere event den dere family gonna end up in one of China’s Smiley Face organ donor centres an’ missing a kidney each.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Romney on Kiss-Ass-a-Thon Tour
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Mitt ‘The Moron’ Romney, in Jerusalem over the weekend on a servile ass-kissing mission, held talks with Israeli PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and President Shitbag Peres, during which he pledged to forge closer ties between the US and Israel in the hope of burnishing his pro-Zionist muppet credentials to help secure the US-based kikester vote around key constituencies in November and get himself elected as the good ole US of A’s 45th President.
The credibility-deficiency Romney, obviously the best the GOP can muster as their Republican candidate to hoof the Kenyan cuckoo out of the White House in the coming election, hyped up the Iranophobia rhetoric by informing a press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that he would uphold any decision by Israel to use pre-emptive military force to prevent the Islamic Republic from developing a nuclear weapon – whether the Ayatollahs were building one or not.
“Okay, these bleedin’ hearts in Europe are sayin’ that under international agreements Iran is entitled to enrich all the uranium they need for their domestic power nuclear reactors an’ medical research” – an’ I say No - seein’ the Pakis already have a nuke arsenal, we have a God-given immoral duty to put a stop to uranium enrichment by any more heathen Muslim states as they’ll build a bomb an’ keep it a secret – until they drop it on Tel Aviv.”
Nice one Mitt, but obviously no support forthcoming on your behalf for the international peaceniks bid to make a nuclear-armed Israel sign the Non-Proliferation Treaty or stop playing smarmy twats and let the IAEA inspect their Dimona Nuclear plant for any sign of the nuclear weapons they boast, with a sly wink, that they don’t have.
The academically-deficient Romney, a man possessed by ambitions far beyond the scope of his limited intellectual abilities, confided to Nuttyahoo and Peres that he shared their concerns with the development of Iran's nuclear capabilities, opining that "The threat it would pose to you guys, the entire Middle East an’ the world is unacceptable as there can be only one nuclear power here, an’ that’s just gotta be Israel."
“No shit, if they develop nuclear weapons then they’re up to challengin’ Israel’s regional military hegemony, with you being the sole possessor of nuclear weapons.”
Romney, accompanied by his number one spin doctor and foreign policy adviser Sheldon Addledscum, told one press hack from the Pound of Flesh Review that President Obama has undermined Israel by supporting their enemies.
“Old Barky’s spent too much time pissin’ around with forged birth certificates an’ issuin’ sanctions on Iran instead of rattlin’ his sabre more an’ bombin’ the shit outa Tehran - an’ he ain’t bin kissin’ enough Shylock ass ter get the kikester votes this time around.”
"If Israel has to pull its usual stunt an’ ignore the niceties of international law to stop Iran from developing the bomb by launching a pre-emptive attack on the crazy old Ayatollahs an’ that President Ahmadashell guy, then that’s okay with me – an’ Syria and Hezbollah an’ anyone else they fancy attackin’ too. What’s more, if they can hang on until mid-January when I take over in the White House, then I’ll have the Pentagon boys give them a helpin’ hand.”
“Hey, these guys are God’s Chosen people, an’ even me, bein’ brought up as a member of the Jesus Christ Church of Latter Day Morons in Utah, can appreciate that fact – an’ hellfire, we’re the lost tribe of Israel an’ their brothers anyways – an’ that’s embroidered on my underpants.”
After his meetings with Israeli officials, Romney visited Jerusalem's holy Al Buraq (Wailing Wall) site and banged his bonce a few times against the ancient masonry – to no apparent ill-effect, then used the photo-shoot opportunity to inform media hacks “Hey, if that anti-Semite Holohoax denier Ron Paul had grabbed the Republican nomination then he’d be cheerin’ the Iranian terrorist state on - an’ cuttin’ off any more military aid to Israel until they sorted themselves out with these Palestinian refugee guys an’ stop all the illegal settlement building.”
“Personally I’m all in favour of their settlements in the occupied West Bank – an’ keepin’ Hamas an’ their Gaza Gangsters bottled up behind the 30-foot high wall the IDF have built around the Strip, as this is their Promised Land, given to them by Jehovah.”
However, Romney’s coup de grâce howler came at a fund-raising matzo eating contest in Jerusalem on Monday where he claimed that a lack of culture was the cause of the Palestinians inferiority to the Israeli people.
Using prepared quotes from David Landes ‘The Wealth and Poverty of Nations’, Romney sought to justify how Israel had achieved greater prosperity than their marginalised Palestinian neighbours – totally missing out on the point that the entire country was stolen from them in 1948 and what bits they were left with have since been sub-divided into the rapidly diminishing occupied West Bank and the besieged Gaza Strip.
Oh well, as it’s not going to be Ron Paul this time around it’s either more of the same with Barky O’Barmy – or Romney - another dishonest Zionist stooge who couldn’t tell the truth if he didn’t have a lie ready. Hmmm, not so much a matter of God Bless America but God Help ‘Em.
How is it they’ve been stuck with so many dog wankers – and this incumbent half-chat Indonesian passing himself off as a Kenyan Afro-American and waving a forged Hawaiian birth certificate around as his sole qualification to run for public office – and still no fucker in power cries “FOUL!” and does something about it – apart from one Arizona sheriff who the media totally ignore.
Alas, the entire US Great Satan’s graft and corruption-ridden bureaucratic system is on the Zionist payroll – or getting blackmailed / threatened with a body bag if they don’t follow orders – and after the Israelis and the Bush administration kikester Neo-Cons pulling the see-through false flag terrorist attack on 9/11 to forward their Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion agenda - and being allowed to get away with it - then all hope has gone for another generation at least. Unless of course some twat wakes up, pulls a Paul Revere and shouts “Enough!” and lops the head off the Zionist-dominated military-industrial bankster / crypto-Jew-infested corporate monster.
While their only true patriot President was Andrew ‘Old Hickory’ Jackson, Lincoln tried to oust the Federal banking cabal and was assassinated for his efforts. Eisenhower’s on the public record warning of the ‘sinister shadow government’ menace, and JFK tried to do the right thing - when he was able to keep his cock in his pants and one eye on the ball.
But what a shower of shit they’ve been cursed with since – and on a toss up between Barky Obama, or Barry Soetero, or whatever his fucking name is – and Mitt the Moron, then it looks like they’re gonna be stuck with more of the same - and still have their foreign policy agenda set in Jerusalem by the psychos and homicidal maniacs in the nutty Knesset.
Que sera sera, pigs might fly and this Arab spring may well evolve into a stark Islamist winter as Karma’s hand turns the dial of Destiny.
Mitt’s obviously sold his soul for thirty pieces of silver – or in his case, the Zionist vote – with nary a mention of the human rights and wrongs abuses visited on the marginalised Palestinian population of what was once ‘Palestine – and is now the illegal, rogue state of Israel.
But any criticism of the Chosen People and their rogue ZioNazi state is strictly verboten – and a definite career suicide move for Western politicians.
Thought for the day. Would you waste your vote on a tosspot like Romney – or Obama for that matter? What’s it like to be an American and live in the good ole Davy Crockett / John Wayne ‘land of the free, home of the brave’ nowadays – and feel like you’re continually getting shafted up the back passage by a corruption ridden government that are continually wiping their asses on the Constitution and Bill of Rights – and kowtowing to the Rothshite crime syndicate’s Ashkenazi Jews of convenience in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a freshly-bulldozed 400 square meter lot in the occupied West Bank’s Rachel Corrie Memorial Gardens housing estate.
Regardless, fuck Israel and their New World Order – and support the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions campaign.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Mitt ‘The Moron’ Romney, in Jerusalem over the weekend on a servile ass-kissing mission, held talks with Israeli PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and President Shitbag Peres, during which he pledged to forge closer ties between the US and Israel in the hope of burnishing his pro-Zionist muppet credentials to help secure the US-based kikester vote around key constituencies in November and get himself elected as the good ole US of A’s 45th President.
The credibility-deficiency Romney, obviously the best the GOP can muster as their Republican candidate to hoof the Kenyan cuckoo out of the White House in the coming election, hyped up the Iranophobia rhetoric by informing a press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that he would uphold any decision by Israel to use pre-emptive military force to prevent the Islamic Republic from developing a nuclear weapon – whether the Ayatollahs were building one or not.
“Okay, these bleedin’ hearts in Europe are sayin’ that under international agreements Iran is entitled to enrich all the uranium they need for their domestic power nuclear reactors an’ medical research” – an’ I say No - seein’ the Pakis already have a nuke arsenal, we have a God-given immoral duty to put a stop to uranium enrichment by any more heathen Muslim states as they’ll build a bomb an’ keep it a secret – until they drop it on Tel Aviv.”
Nice one Mitt, but obviously no support forthcoming on your behalf for the international peaceniks bid to make a nuclear-armed Israel sign the Non-Proliferation Treaty or stop playing smarmy twats and let the IAEA inspect their Dimona Nuclear plant for any sign of the nuclear weapons they boast, with a sly wink, that they don’t have.
The academically-deficient Romney, a man possessed by ambitions far beyond the scope of his limited intellectual abilities, confided to Nuttyahoo and Peres that he shared their concerns with the development of Iran's nuclear capabilities, opining that "The threat it would pose to you guys, the entire Middle East an’ the world is unacceptable as there can be only one nuclear power here, an’ that’s just gotta be Israel."
“No shit, if they develop nuclear weapons then they’re up to challengin’ Israel’s regional military hegemony, with you being the sole possessor of nuclear weapons.”
Romney, accompanied by his number one spin doctor and foreign policy adviser Sheldon Addledscum, told one press hack from the Pound of Flesh Review that President Obama has undermined Israel by supporting their enemies.
“Old Barky’s spent too much time pissin’ around with forged birth certificates an’ issuin’ sanctions on Iran instead of rattlin’ his sabre more an’ bombin’ the shit outa Tehran - an’ he ain’t bin kissin’ enough Shylock ass ter get the kikester votes this time around.”
"If Israel has to pull its usual stunt an’ ignore the niceties of international law to stop Iran from developing the bomb by launching a pre-emptive attack on the crazy old Ayatollahs an’ that President Ahmadashell guy, then that’s okay with me – an’ Syria and Hezbollah an’ anyone else they fancy attackin’ too. What’s more, if they can hang on until mid-January when I take over in the White House, then I’ll have the Pentagon boys give them a helpin’ hand.”
“Hey, these guys are God’s Chosen people, an’ even me, bein’ brought up as a member of the Jesus Christ Church of Latter Day Morons in Utah, can appreciate that fact – an’ hellfire, we’re the lost tribe of Israel an’ their brothers anyways – an’ that’s embroidered on my underpants.”
After his meetings with Israeli officials, Romney visited Jerusalem's holy Al Buraq (Wailing Wall) site and banged his bonce a few times against the ancient masonry – to no apparent ill-effect, then used the photo-shoot opportunity to inform media hacks “Hey, if that anti-Semite Holohoax denier Ron Paul had grabbed the Republican nomination then he’d be cheerin’ the Iranian terrorist state on - an’ cuttin’ off any more military aid to Israel until they sorted themselves out with these Palestinian refugee guys an’ stop all the illegal settlement building.”
“Personally I’m all in favour of their settlements in the occupied West Bank – an’ keepin’ Hamas an’ their Gaza Gangsters bottled up behind the 30-foot high wall the IDF have built around the Strip, as this is their Promised Land, given to them by Jehovah.”
However, Romney’s coup de grâce howler came at a fund-raising matzo eating contest in Jerusalem on Monday where he claimed that a lack of culture was the cause of the Palestinians inferiority to the Israeli people.
Using prepared quotes from David Landes ‘The Wealth and Poverty of Nations’, Romney sought to justify how Israel had achieved greater prosperity than their marginalised Palestinian neighbours – totally missing out on the point that the entire country was stolen from them in 1948 and what bits they were left with have since been sub-divided into the rapidly diminishing occupied West Bank and the besieged Gaza Strip.
Oh well, as it’s not going to be Ron Paul this time around it’s either more of the same with Barky O’Barmy – or Romney - another dishonest Zionist stooge who couldn’t tell the truth if he didn’t have a lie ready. Hmmm, not so much a matter of God Bless America but God Help ‘Em.
How is it they’ve been stuck with so many dog wankers – and this incumbent half-chat Indonesian passing himself off as a Kenyan Afro-American and waving a forged Hawaiian birth certificate around as his sole qualification to run for public office – and still no fucker in power cries “FOUL!” and does something about it – apart from one Arizona sheriff who the media totally ignore.
Alas, the entire US Great Satan’s graft and corruption-ridden bureaucratic system is on the Zionist payroll – or getting blackmailed / threatened with a body bag if they don’t follow orders – and after the Israelis and the Bush administration kikester Neo-Cons pulling the see-through false flag terrorist attack on 9/11 to forward their Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion agenda - and being allowed to get away with it - then all hope has gone for another generation at least. Unless of course some twat wakes up, pulls a Paul Revere and shouts “Enough!” and lops the head off the Zionist-dominated military-industrial bankster / crypto-Jew-infested corporate monster.
While their only true patriot President was Andrew ‘Old Hickory’ Jackson, Lincoln tried to oust the Federal banking cabal and was assassinated for his efforts. Eisenhower’s on the public record warning of the ‘sinister shadow government’ menace, and JFK tried to do the right thing - when he was able to keep his cock in his pants and one eye on the ball.
But what a shower of shit they’ve been cursed with since – and on a toss up between Barky Obama, or Barry Soetero, or whatever his fucking name is – and Mitt the Moron, then it looks like they’re gonna be stuck with more of the same - and still have their foreign policy agenda set in Jerusalem by the psychos and homicidal maniacs in the nutty Knesset.
Que sera sera, pigs might fly and this Arab spring may well evolve into a stark Islamist winter as Karma’s hand turns the dial of Destiny.
Mitt’s obviously sold his soul for thirty pieces of silver – or in his case, the Zionist vote – with nary a mention of the human rights and wrongs abuses visited on the marginalised Palestinian population of what was once ‘Palestine – and is now the illegal, rogue state of Israel.
But any criticism of the Chosen People and their rogue ZioNazi state is strictly verboten – and a definite career suicide move for Western politicians.
Thought for the day. Would you waste your vote on a tosspot like Romney – or Obama for that matter? What’s it like to be an American and live in the good ole Davy Crockett / John Wayne ‘land of the free, home of the brave’ nowadays – and feel like you’re continually getting shafted up the back passage by a corruption ridden government that are continually wiping their asses on the Constitution and Bill of Rights – and kowtowing to the Rothshite crime syndicate’s Ashkenazi Jews of convenience in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a freshly-bulldozed 400 square meter lot in the occupied West Bank’s Rachel Corrie Memorial Gardens housing estate.
Regardless, fuck Israel and their New World Order – and support the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions campaign.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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