Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Comparing scepticism of man-made global warming (the dreaded AGW) to anti-Semitic racist beliefs and Holohoax denial, an Oregon-based professor of sociology at the Franz Kafka College for Orwellian Studies, has, in her unqualified arrogance, taken a personal fascist stance and labelled cynicism regarding anthropogenic climate change as a ‘sickness’ for which such ‘Doubting Thomas’ individuals need to be ‘treated’ in a mental institution – or preferably ‘euthanized’ for the good of polite society.
Bearing a resemblance to a genetically spliced cross between a spank-eyed beaver and a refugee from Fraggle Rock, Professor Kari Norgaard - who was last week speaking at the Rothshite crime syndicate-sponsored ‘What Can We Fuck With Next’ conference in London - presented a paper in which she argues that ‘cultural resistance’ to accepting the official scaremongering propaganda line that humans are directly responsible for global warming must be recognized and treated as an acute manifestation of aberrant sociological behaviour – alike nose-picking, incest, paedophilia and sheep shagging.
Norgaard, in her questionable wisdom (or rather lack of such) equates galloping scepticism of the establishment’s climate change alarmists – (whose manipulated data is continually proven to be politicized, agenda driven and downright inaccurate) – with racial bigotry and stated for the public record that overcoming such viewpoints poses a similar challenge to denying the Israelis the right to defend themselves against the nasty Palestinians- by righteously building their 30-foot high Great Apartheid Walls around the Gaza Strip and the occupied West Bank – and thus besieging the hapless, marginalised populations of both in the biggest Nazi style concentration camps on the planet.
According to one critical report in the Chicken Little Gazette, Norgaard is labouring under the misguided impression that bubble-headed academics such as herself are entitled to stand up to be counted with the likes of the University of East Anglia’s and the IPCC’s climate data tampering criminals who have sold their souls and the remains of whatever professional ethics they once – if ever – possessed to commercial interests and the carbon credits cap n trade exchange lobby.
In reality the ‘What Can We Fuck With Next’ conference at which Common Purpose disciple Norgaard is appearing to push her moronic social engineering drivel equates as nothing more than yet another strategy session for the Club of Rome’s neo-eugenicists to perpetuate their population control agenda.
The actual Committee of 300 / Trilateral Commission ‘nightmare’ manifesto (read ‘Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion’) that acts as the guiding philosophy and ideology of the conference’s covert doctrine and policy, leaked by whistle-blowing insiders to the Snitch & Grassers Review, calls for the masses of the common herd (the 99% useless eaters) to be packed into denser cities (Eco-Gulags) - like battery hens or pigs on an intensive farming scale - so that the rest of the planet can be turned into a global theme park for the super-rich 1% Illuminati elitists.
And therein we have precisely the same totalitarian ‘human cull’ scernario proposed by the dodgy Forum for the Future organization in 2011, wherein all outdoor aspects of human activity (breathing, jogging, sunbathing, picnicking and al fresco dogging) will be tightly regulated and micro-managed by a dictatorial technocracy (New World Order) – and all in the name of saving the planet (as if the Earth Mother / Gaia needed any help from us – or THEM).
So herein lies the establishment’s contrived reasoning, to have the likes of this piranha-toothed harpy Norgaard corrupt her official academic position to re-brand legitimate scientific dissent as a mental disorder ‘thought crime’ that requires pharmacological or psychological treatment.
Oh well, scepticism towards man-made global warming is running at an all time high due the fact the likes of the IPCC and the moronic University of East Anglia’s Department of Advanced Scaremongering have, through their own incompetence and foisting the public off with faulty science, contradictions, lies, and inconsistencies in their narratives - totally lost the plot.
Though for the day: Climate change? To quote Marcus Aurelius: ‘Omnia Mutantur’ – all is in flux. Every part of the Earth and entire Cosmos is in a constant state of change - and climate swings on Earth have sweet fuck all to do with mankind – it’s all down to the cycles of that big yellow ball in the sky, powered by immense electro-magnetic fields – aka the Sun.
To conclude: do you believe the AGW scam – that humans are responsible for global warming and climate change? Do you still believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny – or an honest government and judicial system? Do you really give a flying fuck if all the polar bears drown and the snow on the poxy Alps melts? (as you can’t afford to go skiing anyways)
If you do swallow the AGW line then send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a ‘Gullible Twat’ badge so people will recognise your Super-Moron status a mile off.
In the meantime, political correctness be damned – so fuck all neo-Nazis trolls like Kari Noorgard – and the horse she rode in on.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Monday, 9 April 2012
Boat Race Foils Self-Harm Bid
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A destitute London man has been arrested and charged over an incident which led to the Easter Saturday 158th University Boat Race turning into a total cluster fuck.
The Oxford and Cambridge boats were abreast of each other and level pegging off Harrods Suppository after 10 minutes and 30 seconds when the race was ‘heaved to’ due an inconsiderate member of the common herd doggy paddling out into mid-stream in an attempt to commit suicide by drowning – wholly unaware the iconic annual boat race was underway.
Ron McSkanger, 35, a homeless person with deep-rooted mental health issues, who was reported to have been sleeping rough around Shitechapel Hamlets in East London, was hooked by obliging fishermen and winched ashore, where he was arrested by Thames Riverbank Wardens on secondment from the G4S Renta-Thug Security Agency and will appear at Scruntford Magistrates' Court on the 23rd April charged with a Section 5 offence of the Public Nuisance Act 2010.
Interviewed by a gaggle of amused press hacks outside the Chiswick Plod Squad Station following his release on bail, McSkanger related “How the fuck woz I supposed ter know there was an effin’ boat race on?”
“I’ve bin all pissed off an’ sufferin’ wiv manic depression since the Libservative Coalition got inter office two years ago an’ gutted me welfare benefits – then ter add insult ter injury the Samaritans outsourced their call centres ter New Delhi an’ some bloke called Achmed actually recommended it might be best if I did do myself in - an’ stop ringin’ him up every night fer a bit of a chat an’ a whinge.”
“So there I am sat on the river bank an’ paddle out ter the middle of the Thames, all nice an’ quiet - an’ after goin’ under a couple of times an’ getting’ a lung-full of water me whole life starts spininn’ out before me eyes – then this effin’ oar hits me on the head an’ some twat wiv a posh accent starts shoutin’ “I say you bloody oick, get out of the fucking way!”
“Well, fuck me drunk on a Sunday – how is a bloke suppose ter concentrate on puttin’ an end ter it all when yer have two boatloads of hairy arsed upper class prats gobbin’ off at yer an’ demandin’ yer paddle off elsewhere when yer can’t bleedin’ swim in the first place?”
Sergeant Chris Twatt of the Metropolitan Police informed the media “It was a closely-fought race which looked to be heading for an exciting finish until that inconsiderate bastard McSkanger appeared in the middle of the river. We thought it was one of those Jolly Jihad Muslim terrorist crazies with a torpedo at first. Really, why they stopped I’m buggered if I know – they should have taken his head off with the blades.”
Umpire John Parrott halted the race after his assistant, the four-time Olympic cat-hurling champion Sir Matthew Pinstripe, spotted McSkanger in the water just after the crews had passed the Harrods Suppository checkpoint.
Parrott told BBC 1’s ‘Suicide Watch’ programme "It was totally unbelievable. We thought it was just another aborted foetus some slapper had chucked in the night before - then Matthew shouted it was probably a couple of illegal immigrants trying to sneak across from Middlesex to Surrey without a visa – until we realised the daft sod was on a self-harming suicide mission.”
Thought for the day. Reports that Flatbrokes, the UK’s ubiquitous High Street bookies, were giving each-way odds on Cambridge winning the race have this morning been discounted as malicious rumours.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
A destitute London man has been arrested and charged over an incident which led to the Easter Saturday 158th University Boat Race turning into a total cluster fuck.
The Oxford and Cambridge boats were abreast of each other and level pegging off Harrods Suppository after 10 minutes and 30 seconds when the race was ‘heaved to’ due an inconsiderate member of the common herd doggy paddling out into mid-stream in an attempt to commit suicide by drowning – wholly unaware the iconic annual boat race was underway.
Ron McSkanger, 35, a homeless person with deep-rooted mental health issues, who was reported to have been sleeping rough around Shitechapel Hamlets in East London, was hooked by obliging fishermen and winched ashore, where he was arrested by Thames Riverbank Wardens on secondment from the G4S Renta-Thug Security Agency and will appear at Scruntford Magistrates' Court on the 23rd April charged with a Section 5 offence of the Public Nuisance Act 2010.
Interviewed by a gaggle of amused press hacks outside the Chiswick Plod Squad Station following his release on bail, McSkanger related “How the fuck woz I supposed ter know there was an effin’ boat race on?”
“I’ve bin all pissed off an’ sufferin’ wiv manic depression since the Libservative Coalition got inter office two years ago an’ gutted me welfare benefits – then ter add insult ter injury the Samaritans outsourced their call centres ter New Delhi an’ some bloke called Achmed actually recommended it might be best if I did do myself in - an’ stop ringin’ him up every night fer a bit of a chat an’ a whinge.”
“So there I am sat on the river bank an’ paddle out ter the middle of the Thames, all nice an’ quiet - an’ after goin’ under a couple of times an’ getting’ a lung-full of water me whole life starts spininn’ out before me eyes – then this effin’ oar hits me on the head an’ some twat wiv a posh accent starts shoutin’ “I say you bloody oick, get out of the fucking way!”
“Well, fuck me drunk on a Sunday – how is a bloke suppose ter concentrate on puttin’ an end ter it all when yer have two boatloads of hairy arsed upper class prats gobbin’ off at yer an’ demandin’ yer paddle off elsewhere when yer can’t bleedin’ swim in the first place?”
Sergeant Chris Twatt of the Metropolitan Police informed the media “It was a closely-fought race which looked to be heading for an exciting finish until that inconsiderate bastard McSkanger appeared in the middle of the river. We thought it was one of those Jolly Jihad Muslim terrorist crazies with a torpedo at first. Really, why they stopped I’m buggered if I know – they should have taken his head off with the blades.”
Umpire John Parrott halted the race after his assistant, the four-time Olympic cat-hurling champion Sir Matthew Pinstripe, spotted McSkanger in the water just after the crews had passed the Harrods Suppository checkpoint.
Parrott told BBC 1’s ‘Suicide Watch’ programme "It was totally unbelievable. We thought it was just another aborted foetus some slapper had chucked in the night before - then Matthew shouted it was probably a couple of illegal immigrants trying to sneak across from Middlesex to Surrey without a visa – until we realised the daft sod was on a self-harming suicide mission.”
Thought for the day. Reports that Flatbrokes, the UK’s ubiquitous High Street bookies, were giving each-way odds on Cambridge winning the race have this morning been discounted as malicious rumours.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Sunday, 8 April 2012
NHS Blame Granny for Global Warming
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
An elderly widow and twelve-times grandmother has been ordered to find a new GP because the “carbon footprint” of her two-mile round trips to the surgery - (where she had been treated for the past 65 years) – manifested through pushing her wheeled Zimmer frame has been deemed to represent a clear and present danger to the fragile state of an already-depleted ozone layer due the masses of CO2 exhaled from her belaboured Marlboro Man lungs.
Mrs Candida Mingerot, 96, was informed by her local NHS authority, the Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Excellence, to address the “green travelling issues” concerning bi-weekly journeys from her home at Smegmadale-on-Sea to the Lepers End Surgery for anal prolapse checks and prescription renewals.
The NHS Trust letter viewed by one press hack from the Daily Shitraker stated: “Our greatest concern is for your health and convenience but also taking into consideration green travelling issues. Re: carbon footprints and winter weather conditions, we feel it would be advisable for senior citizen patients, such as yourself, to register at a GP surgery closer to where they live.”
"Hence we would be very grateful if you could make the necessary arrangements to re-register at another practice immediately, if not sooner.”
Mrs Mingerot believes the decision was made because she complained about one doctor who ‘harassed’ her to give up smoking two packs of ‘cowboy killers’ a day.
“So this twat of a locum has a listen ter me chest wiv his stethoscope thingy an’ sez - “Yer gotta give up the fags, darlin’ cos they’re killin’ yer – an’ I’ll give yer a prescription fer some patches an’ nicotine chewin’ gum” – an’ I tells him ‘Look sonny, I can’t breath proper of a mornin’ til I’ve had a mug of builder’s tea an’ a couple of ciggies ter kick me lungs inter gear an’ get me coughin’ – so yer can stick yer patches an’ gum.”
“Then I gets this effin’ letter sayin’ I’ve gotta find a doctor’s closer ter home cos they want ter reduce me carbon footprint in line wiv some crap regulations put out by the EUSSR in Brussels. Well, then I really saw me arse an’ spit the dummy an’ got straight on the blower ter Age Concern – cos the next GP surgery’s five effin’ miles away.”
“Ter my mind I’m getting’ treated like shit cos I don’t want ter give up me fags an’ it’s got sweet fuck all ter do wiv me livin’ so far away. Bollocks, it’s only an effin’ mile – so this is just a poxy excuse ter get rid of me. Now I’m all stressed out an’ smokin’ even more cos they puts this Swiss Dignitas Clinic euthanasia advert in the envelope wiv the letter .”
“Anthropogenic global warmin’ and carbon footprint, my arse - it’s all a bunch of contrived political scaremongerin’ an’ definitely not my effin’ fault the stupid polar bears are drownin’. Ter my mind it all comes across as a pile of authoritarian terrorism aimed directly at us: the senior citizen demographic – wot they now class as useless eaters cos we draw a state pension an’ don’t pay effin’ taxes any more.”
While the Lepers End Surgery staff declined to comment, Mr Dinsdale Scumm, the head of governance, risk and customer services for NHS West Smegmashire, informed the media "Although we are unable to comment on individual cases, we would like to assure patients there is a very strict NHS procedure that GP practices are required to adhere to before they can remove patients from their lists – such as submitting a completed and signed death certificate for the patient in question.”
“Further, I would advise all patients who have concerns about any aspect of local NHS care to contact our patient advice and liaison service call centre in New Delhi.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
An elderly widow and twelve-times grandmother has been ordered to find a new GP because the “carbon footprint” of her two-mile round trips to the surgery - (where she had been treated for the past 65 years) – manifested through pushing her wheeled Zimmer frame has been deemed to represent a clear and present danger to the fragile state of an already-depleted ozone layer due the masses of CO2 exhaled from her belaboured Marlboro Man lungs.
Mrs Candida Mingerot, 96, was informed by her local NHS authority, the Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Excellence, to address the “green travelling issues” concerning bi-weekly journeys from her home at Smegmadale-on-Sea to the Lepers End Surgery for anal prolapse checks and prescription renewals.
The NHS Trust letter viewed by one press hack from the Daily Shitraker stated: “Our greatest concern is for your health and convenience but also taking into consideration green travelling issues. Re: carbon footprints and winter weather conditions, we feel it would be advisable for senior citizen patients, such as yourself, to register at a GP surgery closer to where they live.”
"Hence we would be very grateful if you could make the necessary arrangements to re-register at another practice immediately, if not sooner.”
Mrs Mingerot believes the decision was made because she complained about one doctor who ‘harassed’ her to give up smoking two packs of ‘cowboy killers’ a day.
“So this twat of a locum has a listen ter me chest wiv his stethoscope thingy an’ sez - “Yer gotta give up the fags, darlin’ cos they’re killin’ yer – an’ I’ll give yer a prescription fer some patches an’ nicotine chewin’ gum” – an’ I tells him ‘Look sonny, I can’t breath proper of a mornin’ til I’ve had a mug of builder’s tea an’ a couple of ciggies ter kick me lungs inter gear an’ get me coughin’ – so yer can stick yer patches an’ gum.”
“Then I gets this effin’ letter sayin’ I’ve gotta find a doctor’s closer ter home cos they want ter reduce me carbon footprint in line wiv some crap regulations put out by the EUSSR in Brussels. Well, then I really saw me arse an’ spit the dummy an’ got straight on the blower ter Age Concern – cos the next GP surgery’s five effin’ miles away.”
“Ter my mind I’m getting’ treated like shit cos I don’t want ter give up me fags an’ it’s got sweet fuck all ter do wiv me livin’ so far away. Bollocks, it’s only an effin’ mile – so this is just a poxy excuse ter get rid of me. Now I’m all stressed out an’ smokin’ even more cos they puts this Swiss Dignitas Clinic euthanasia advert in the envelope wiv the letter .”
“Anthropogenic global warmin’ and carbon footprint, my arse - it’s all a bunch of contrived political scaremongerin’ an’ definitely not my effin’ fault the stupid polar bears are drownin’. Ter my mind it all comes across as a pile of authoritarian terrorism aimed directly at us: the senior citizen demographic – wot they now class as useless eaters cos we draw a state pension an’ don’t pay effin’ taxes any more.”
While the Lepers End Surgery staff declined to comment, Mr Dinsdale Scumm, the head of governance, risk and customer services for NHS West Smegmashire, informed the media "Although we are unable to comment on individual cases, we would like to assure patients there is a very strict NHS procedure that GP practices are required to adhere to before they can remove patients from their lists – such as submitting a completed and signed death certificate for the patient in question.”
“Further, I would advise all patients who have concerns about any aspect of local NHS care to contact our patient advice and liaison service call centre in New Delhi.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Welcome to Kafkaville Central
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Yes, it’s confirmed – Broken Britain’s semi-autonomous local government bureaucracy has finally gone overboard and into totally batshit bonkers mode.
Ken Tosser, an alderman with Lancashire’s Smegmadale Municipal Council, today informed amused press hacks that his Scatology Unit were in discussions with a forensic veterinary proctologist over plans to analyse lumps of dog shite found on pavements and in parks and subject them to DNA matching.
“Wot we’re lookin’ at here is ter introduce a doggy DNA database then it’ll be possible ter identify offendin’ pooches from a sample of the poop wot the effin’ owner’s not been arsed ter scoop up an’ bag.”
“So, one of our Coprophilia Team will be on the scene wiv their camera ter take a piccy of the offending mess - then get a sample in one of them little bags like wot they have on CSI on the telly - an’ send it off ter the vets ter get it DNA typed an’ matched.”
“Once we get a positive i/d on the offending dog then it’s up ter our Community Enforcement Unit or whatever staff we get from the Renta-Thug Security Agency ter go round an’ kick the bastard dog owner’s front door in an’ impose a fixed penalty spot fine of £1,000 quid - an’ slap 3 points on their effin’ dog licence.”
When asked how much the scheme would cost to implement Tosser replied “Fucked if I know – but that’s not a problem as it’ll all go on next year’s council tax bill.”
So, more fascist surveillance – this time aimed at man’s best friend by yet another bunch of shit-for-brains officious Stasi intimidators hiding behind a cheap plastic laminated “I am a Twat” badge – with a mini-CCTV camera attached. More uniform fetishists – all Common Purpose trained and graduated with an NVQ1 in Moronology.
Hmmm, we are forced to ponder: are there sufficient controls in place to prevent the entire scheme becoming yet another addition to the official abuse system as we see in so many other daily instances of the tip-toe Orwellian panopticon state that is engulfing us like a dark cloud of totalitarian miasma?
Thought for the day: fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Yes, it’s confirmed – Broken Britain’s semi-autonomous local government bureaucracy has finally gone overboard and into totally batshit bonkers mode.
Ken Tosser, an alderman with Lancashire’s Smegmadale Municipal Council, today informed amused press hacks that his Scatology Unit were in discussions with a forensic veterinary proctologist over plans to analyse lumps of dog shite found on pavements and in parks and subject them to DNA matching.
“Wot we’re lookin’ at here is ter introduce a doggy DNA database then it’ll be possible ter identify offendin’ pooches from a sample of the poop wot the effin’ owner’s not been arsed ter scoop up an’ bag.”
“So, one of our Coprophilia Team will be on the scene wiv their camera ter take a piccy of the offending mess - then get a sample in one of them little bags like wot they have on CSI on the telly - an’ send it off ter the vets ter get it DNA typed an’ matched.”
“Once we get a positive i/d on the offending dog then it’s up ter our Community Enforcement Unit or whatever staff we get from the Renta-Thug Security Agency ter go round an’ kick the bastard dog owner’s front door in an’ impose a fixed penalty spot fine of £1,000 quid - an’ slap 3 points on their effin’ dog licence.”
When asked how much the scheme would cost to implement Tosser replied “Fucked if I know – but that’s not a problem as it’ll all go on next year’s council tax bill.”
So, more fascist surveillance – this time aimed at man’s best friend by yet another bunch of shit-for-brains officious Stasi intimidators hiding behind a cheap plastic laminated “I am a Twat” badge – with a mini-CCTV camera attached. More uniform fetishists – all Common Purpose trained and graduated with an NVQ1 in Moronology.
Hmmm, we are forced to ponder: are there sufficient controls in place to prevent the entire scheme becoming yet another addition to the official abuse system as we see in so many other daily instances of the tip-toe Orwellian panopticon state that is engulfing us like a dark cloud of totalitarian miasma?
Thought for the day: fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Friday, 6 April 2012
Schools NLP Brainwashing Kids to say “Baaaa”
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Warning: This is NOT a late April Fool’s Day joke.
The slack-jawed Minister of Education, Michael ‘Pob’ Gove, following consultations with the Parliamentary Committee for What Can We Fuck With Next and Julia Middleton’s sinister Common Purpose social engineering group, have decided, in their unqualified arrogance, to ban school kids from forming best friend relationships — so they don't get upset if they have a bit of a tiff or a dummy-spitting fall-out over whose turn it is to buy the jammy dodgers.
To the contrary, primary pupils are being told they shouldn't have a best friend and that everyone should be encouraged to play in large groups.
Educational psychologist Chlamydia Bonkers explained to one press hack from the Authoritarians Gazette that the policy is being introduced as an offspring of Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society objective to instil a culture of paranoia and suspicion in children from the youngest age possible – so they are constantly looking over their shoulder and trust no-one – including their parents.
"They might claim to be implementing this on the grounds they want to save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend when they’re summarily picked up by Big Brother’s Plod Squad for thought crimes or exhibiting signs of Oppositional Defiance Disorder Syndrome and sent to a re-education camp in Waziristan for a couple of years. However the truth of the matter lies in the fact they want no-one trusting anyone but the Nanny State government.”
Shabby Acrobatti, director of the Scum-Watch government abuse monitor, informed a reporter from the Fascists Review “What a bunch of unadulterated crap. This ridiculous concept is going to rob kids of their childhood. How can you ever play doctors and nurses and experiment with ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ comparative anatomy games if you don’t have a little best friend who won’t snitch you up to their mother?”
“Really, this Orwellian absurdity our Libservative tosspot masters are pushing doesn't just fly in the face of common sense, it's chilling. Children take things very seriously and if you tell them they can't have a best friend anymore then they might go and beat them to death with a hardback copy of 1984.”
“Kiddies need to learn about relationships as this type of programming could lead to the establishment of a polygamous culture with everyone into all kinds of incestuous relationships."
Conversely, Russell Knobb of the National Association of Head Teachers confirmed some schools around broken Britain’s sink or swim council housing estates were adopting best-friend bans for the purest of Big Society reasons and to gain acceptance for Scameron’s fatally-flawed multi-cultural society concepts.
“Let’s be honest here, we can’t have a New World Order if it’s full of sodding individuals, all thinking for themselves – that’s why we have a ‘Cradle to the Grave’ Big Brother State who people should view as their only real and true friend.”
“Just take a look at the order of things in Mother Nature. Have you ever seen a sheep with a best friend? Of course not, they all play together in one big group – what social engineering gurus refer to as a flock or herd.”
Do you have a best friend? How many friends do you actually have? Are the police aware of this fact? Did you declare and list your friends on the last national census form - especially if one’s called Winston Smith?
Send your comments using the online reply form below – a selection of which may be published, displaying your name and location so the local council authority can impose the all-new ‘Best Friends Tax’.
Thought for the day: Who actually thinks this shit up – Shaun the Sheep – or the Ministry for the Fucking Ridiculous?
Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, badgers or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However a large number of ‘best friends’ were expunged and driven to self-harming / suicidal actions.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Warning: This is NOT a late April Fool’s Day joke.
The slack-jawed Minister of Education, Michael ‘Pob’ Gove, following consultations with the Parliamentary Committee for What Can We Fuck With Next and Julia Middleton’s sinister Common Purpose social engineering group, have decided, in their unqualified arrogance, to ban school kids from forming best friend relationships — so they don't get upset if they have a bit of a tiff or a dummy-spitting fall-out over whose turn it is to buy the jammy dodgers.
To the contrary, primary pupils are being told they shouldn't have a best friend and that everyone should be encouraged to play in large groups.
Educational psychologist Chlamydia Bonkers explained to one press hack from the Authoritarians Gazette that the policy is being introduced as an offspring of Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society objective to instil a culture of paranoia and suspicion in children from the youngest age possible – so they are constantly looking over their shoulder and trust no-one – including their parents.
"They might claim to be implementing this on the grounds they want to save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend when they’re summarily picked up by Big Brother’s Plod Squad for thought crimes or exhibiting signs of Oppositional Defiance Disorder Syndrome and sent to a re-education camp in Waziristan for a couple of years. However the truth of the matter lies in the fact they want no-one trusting anyone but the Nanny State government.”
Shabby Acrobatti, director of the Scum-Watch government abuse monitor, informed a reporter from the Fascists Review “What a bunch of unadulterated crap. This ridiculous concept is going to rob kids of their childhood. How can you ever play doctors and nurses and experiment with ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ comparative anatomy games if you don’t have a little best friend who won’t snitch you up to their mother?”
“Really, this Orwellian absurdity our Libservative tosspot masters are pushing doesn't just fly in the face of common sense, it's chilling. Children take things very seriously and if you tell them they can't have a best friend anymore then they might go and beat them to death with a hardback copy of 1984.”
“Kiddies need to learn about relationships as this type of programming could lead to the establishment of a polygamous culture with everyone into all kinds of incestuous relationships."
Conversely, Russell Knobb of the National Association of Head Teachers confirmed some schools around broken Britain’s sink or swim council housing estates were adopting best-friend bans for the purest of Big Society reasons and to gain acceptance for Scameron’s fatally-flawed multi-cultural society concepts.
“Let’s be honest here, we can’t have a New World Order if it’s full of sodding individuals, all thinking for themselves – that’s why we have a ‘Cradle to the Grave’ Big Brother State who people should view as their only real and true friend.”
“Just take a look at the order of things in Mother Nature. Have you ever seen a sheep with a best friend? Of course not, they all play together in one big group – what social engineering gurus refer to as a flock or herd.”
Do you have a best friend? How many friends do you actually have? Are the police aware of this fact? Did you declare and list your friends on the last national census form - especially if one’s called Winston Smith?
Send your comments using the online reply form below – a selection of which may be published, displaying your name and location so the local council authority can impose the all-new ‘Best Friends Tax’.
Thought for the day: Who actually thinks this shit up – Shaun the Sheep – or the Ministry for the Fucking Ridiculous?
Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, badgers or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However a large number of ‘best friends’ were expunged and driven to self-harming / suicidal actions.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Thursday, 5 April 2012
WTF? Mercury Could Host Winter Olympics?
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
NASA’s ‘Asbestos 3’ space probe, currently in a close proximity orbit around the Sun, has discovered evidence of masses of ice covering Mercury's north and south polar regions.
Though the planet is closest to the Sun in our solar system, with surface temperatures similar to those of such Third World desert shitholes as Saudi Arabia - soaring above 400 Centigrade, even on a cloudy day - some craters at Mercury's poles are so deep they’re permanently in shadow, turning them into veritable cold traps.
Even with its severe elliptical orbit Mercury still averages a neighbourly ‘up close and personal’ 28 million mile rotational distance from the Sun compared to the Earth’s ‘temperate life support zone’ of a healthy 93 million miles.
Dr Winnebago Jaffacake of NASA’s Advanced Guesswork think tank, informed press hacks that the discovery throws up a direct challenge to the credibility of the dodgy global warming science lobby and their contrived push to sell the profit-motivated carbon credits cap n trade exchange scam.
“Let me put it this way, while the surface of Mercury is what we anoraks and beardie science types term as ‘very, very hot’ - there is sufficient ice present at the polar regions to host a Winter Olympics event – and freeze the balls off a brass monkey.”
“So, how do these startling revelations reflect on the hysteria over anthropogenic global warming here on Planet Earth, might we ask? Well, for starters, Professor Chicken Little, the head climate propaganda merchant for Broken Britain’s East Anglia University Scaremongering Department, has most definitely had his passport to scientific acceptance revoked – along with that barmy Indian Neanderthal clone that heads the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change - Rajendra Pachauri,”
“Really, we have this pair of clots telling us the Himalayan glaciers had disappeared and the icecaps were melting at a geometric rate and all the polar bears were going to drown – and that Antarctica’s penguins would have nowhere to make a nest – and advising every sod and their dog to learn to swim as we’d all be up to our knees in seawater by 2015.”
“Then when the hundreds of global warming conference delegates and doomsayers all got stuck in Copenhagen due the heavy snowfall a couple of Decembers back, that theory was proved to be so much bullshit and got tossed out of the window.”
“What a pair of utter twats those two were – self-promoting scum after a Nobel Prize and selling their souls to the god Mammon for thirty pieces of silver in a corrupt effort to justify legislation to ban the use of anything that might create carbon dioxide - and shut down all oil and coal fired power stations immediately if not sooner – then implement the New World Order’s Agenda 21 to stop people breathing.”
Thought for the day: Wild rumours and gossip that Mercury might well be selected for an off-planet TV spectacular to stage the finals of ‘Strictly Come Dancing on Ice’ remain unconfirmed – as do similar internet cyber-hoaxes including one that Canada’s Toronto Tossers ice hockey team will face the Montreal Morons at Mercury’s North Pole arena.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
NASA’s ‘Asbestos 3’ space probe, currently in a close proximity orbit around the Sun, has discovered evidence of masses of ice covering Mercury's north and south polar regions.
Though the planet is closest to the Sun in our solar system, with surface temperatures similar to those of such Third World desert shitholes as Saudi Arabia - soaring above 400 Centigrade, even on a cloudy day - some craters at Mercury's poles are so deep they’re permanently in shadow, turning them into veritable cold traps.
Even with its severe elliptical orbit Mercury still averages a neighbourly ‘up close and personal’ 28 million mile rotational distance from the Sun compared to the Earth’s ‘temperate life support zone’ of a healthy 93 million miles.
Dr Winnebago Jaffacake of NASA’s Advanced Guesswork think tank, informed press hacks that the discovery throws up a direct challenge to the credibility of the dodgy global warming science lobby and their contrived push to sell the profit-motivated carbon credits cap n trade exchange scam.
“Let me put it this way, while the surface of Mercury is what we anoraks and beardie science types term as ‘very, very hot’ - there is sufficient ice present at the polar regions to host a Winter Olympics event – and freeze the balls off a brass monkey.”
“So, how do these startling revelations reflect on the hysteria over anthropogenic global warming here on Planet Earth, might we ask? Well, for starters, Professor Chicken Little, the head climate propaganda merchant for Broken Britain’s East Anglia University Scaremongering Department, has most definitely had his passport to scientific acceptance revoked – along with that barmy Indian Neanderthal clone that heads the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change - Rajendra Pachauri,”
“Really, we have this pair of clots telling us the Himalayan glaciers had disappeared and the icecaps were melting at a geometric rate and all the polar bears were going to drown – and that Antarctica’s penguins would have nowhere to make a nest – and advising every sod and their dog to learn to swim as we’d all be up to our knees in seawater by 2015.”
“Then when the hundreds of global warming conference delegates and doomsayers all got stuck in Copenhagen due the heavy snowfall a couple of Decembers back, that theory was proved to be so much bullshit and got tossed out of the window.”
“What a pair of utter twats those two were – self-promoting scum after a Nobel Prize and selling their souls to the god Mammon for thirty pieces of silver in a corrupt effort to justify legislation to ban the use of anything that might create carbon dioxide - and shut down all oil and coal fired power stations immediately if not sooner – then implement the New World Order’s Agenda 21 to stop people breathing.”
Thought for the day: Wild rumours and gossip that Mercury might well be selected for an off-planet TV spectacular to stage the finals of ‘Strictly Come Dancing on Ice’ remain unconfirmed – as do similar internet cyber-hoaxes including one that Canada’s Toronto Tossers ice hockey team will face the Montreal Morons at Mercury’s North Pole arena.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Sunday, 1 April 2012
Prisoners of Conscience - the numbers increase
Okay, our Prisoners of Conscience Skewed News Views blog has seen an almost record number of hits in the last 24 hours (weekend) – due the content of the final post and comments.
Hopefully this isn’t out of morbidity – stare at the car accident and the guy bleeding to death as the para-medics get stuck in traffic (caused by the accident – grrrr!).
Sorry, this isn’t my forte – Rusty Junior’s the real practiced ex-journalist and Wordsmith – bear with me and I’ll try to get the message across.
If you wanna make a difference then hit the keyboard and your e-mail function and ask WTF is going on – not only with Robert Green being ‘persecuted’ for his valiant attempts to seek justice for Hollie Greig and her mum Anne, (Justice ‘still’ denied) - but for Rusty's Dad, Tim Snr, too before he disappears down the Caledonian Rabbit Hole – due our global Prisoner of Conscience group’s selfless efforts to help his friend and Cheshire neighbour Robert.
As of now, as far as we know, Robert has not yet been made aware of the fact the Grampian (HMP Craiginches) prison (and Aberdeen police) authorities have been intercepting and subverting mail from Rusty to himself – nor that Rusty's Dad has been arrested on false charges of exposing Dame Elish Angiolini’s associated involvement in the Hollie Greig sexual abuse coverup scandal and the injustice permeating Robert’s imprisonment.
This is going to be yet another Prisoner of Conscience case – not in the depths of some Third World dictatorship – but just north of England – the country now striving for ‘Independence’ with a capital I – Scotland. (Is there a difference under Alex Salmond & Co?)
The best way to let your opinions, voice, and sentiments on this issue be heard is to e-mail the Grampian Police, the Holyrood government and the Crown Prosecution Procurator Fiscal Service, and all and sundry too, on this matter. Let this record number of hits to the blogsite do the same.
Hey, the passive approach worked for Mohandas Ghandi with India, we have to admit – but he was only dealing with the government of the British Empire - and not a corrupt Scottish government establishment.
Don't forget, alike Alice faced, the Red Queen (read ‘Dame’) was a total megalomaniac and insane (“Off with his head!”) and devoid of human empathy.
While Rusty and his group work towards correcting the injustices of today, their main ambition has been to stamp on the injustices of tomorrow – and in this particular case protecting our children and grand-children from the venal clutches and perversions of a ruling cabal of ranking paedophiles that now hold sway within these isles.
Never mind it’s always someone else’s kid. As long as these groups pervert their official positions to cover their crimes and pervert the course of true justice, tomorrow it might no longer be little Johnny from down the road. It could be your child or pubescent relative targeted and stolen by crooked social care workers, put through a secret family court and bartered on to pre-designated foster parents to facilitate their rape and sexual abuse by establishment pederast cabals.
Bless u all,
Ally
Hopefully this isn’t out of morbidity – stare at the car accident and the guy bleeding to death as the para-medics get stuck in traffic (caused by the accident – grrrr!).
Sorry, this isn’t my forte – Rusty Junior’s the real practiced ex-journalist and Wordsmith – bear with me and I’ll try to get the message across.
If you wanna make a difference then hit the keyboard and your e-mail function and ask WTF is going on – not only with Robert Green being ‘persecuted’ for his valiant attempts to seek justice for Hollie Greig and her mum Anne, (Justice ‘still’ denied) - but for Rusty's Dad, Tim Snr, too before he disappears down the Caledonian Rabbit Hole – due our global Prisoner of Conscience group’s selfless efforts to help his friend and Cheshire neighbour Robert.
As of now, as far as we know, Robert has not yet been made aware of the fact the Grampian (HMP Craiginches) prison (and Aberdeen police) authorities have been intercepting and subverting mail from Rusty to himself – nor that Rusty's Dad has been arrested on false charges of exposing Dame Elish Angiolini’s associated involvement in the Hollie Greig sexual abuse coverup scandal and the injustice permeating Robert’s imprisonment.
This is going to be yet another Prisoner of Conscience case – not in the depths of some Third World dictatorship – but just north of England – the country now striving for ‘Independence’ with a capital I – Scotland. (Is there a difference under Alex Salmond & Co?)
The best way to let your opinions, voice, and sentiments on this issue be heard is to e-mail the Grampian Police, the Holyrood government and the Crown Prosecution Procurator Fiscal Service, and all and sundry too, on this matter. Let this record number of hits to the blogsite do the same.
Hey, the passive approach worked for Mohandas Ghandi with India, we have to admit – but he was only dealing with the government of the British Empire - and not a corrupt Scottish government establishment.
Don't forget, alike Alice faced, the Red Queen (read ‘Dame’) was a total megalomaniac and insane (“Off with his head!”) and devoid of human empathy.
While Rusty and his group work towards correcting the injustices of today, their main ambition has been to stamp on the injustices of tomorrow – and in this particular case protecting our children and grand-children from the venal clutches and perversions of a ruling cabal of ranking paedophiles that now hold sway within these isles.
Never mind it’s always someone else’s kid. As long as these groups pervert their official positions to cover their crimes and pervert the course of true justice, tomorrow it might no longer be little Johnny from down the road. It could be your child or pubescent relative targeted and stolen by crooked social care workers, put through a secret family court and bartered on to pre-designated foster parents to facilitate their rape and sexual abuse by establishment pederast cabals.
Bless u all,
Ally
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