Broken Britain Faces Food Shortage

The Dis-United Kingdom’s National Farmers’ Union gender-neutral spokesperson, Delilah (they, them, theirs) Goldberg, speaking with one gutter press hack from the Malnutrition Gazette, warned that the current shortages of fruits and veggies in Broken Britain’s Greedy Grocer supermarkets could be the tip of the iceberg – before adding emphasis that 'they' were not referring to iceberg lettuce.

Joining Delilah, the NFU president, Wurzel Gummidge - (who identifies as a 'scarecrow') - opined that a reliance on imports from foreign growers has seen Food Bank Britain become vulnerable to the shock climate change events affecting the Mediterranean coastal countries of Europe and North Africa, with farm lands across Morocco, Algeria, and Tunisia stricken by recent Ice Age conditions and heavy snowfall blighting the previously tropical region’s export-orientated cash crops.

Conversely, the Tory Nasty Party’s lard-arsed Environment Secretary, Therese ‘Calamity’ Coffey, laid the blame for the UK’s fruit and veg’ crisis on soaring energy bills deterring farmers from heating and lighting their commercial-sized greenhouses – a situation primarily caused by the good ole U S of A’s Biden administration war mongers blowing up the Nord Stream gas supply pipelines in the Baltic – and further exacerbated by Russia’s ‘Mad Vlad’ Putrid invading the Ukraine – even though Broken Britain’s only imports from there were wheat flour - and mail order brides.

Coffey then resorted to castigating what she termed ‘selfish Spaniards’ for the current shortages, due taking up the Woke Joke cult’s carnivore shaming campaign, and promoting the current ‘must do’ vegetarian diet craze, and subsequently Spanish farmers having zero surplus salad foods for export north, to our once-sceptred Isle of Albion.

Regardless, Coffey maintained British consumers could survive the current shortages, thanks to abundant barn stocks of home grown stubble turnips, stating for the House of Conmans Hansard record that, quote: “If turnips are a good enough and nourishing source of high protein for pigs, sheep and cows, then they’re good enough for the British working class.”

The Pestco Greedy Grocer supermarket chain has announced it is limiting the amount of fruit and veg that people can buy to customers who actually look hungry - and underweight – plus have imposed a strict limit on the sale of phallic-shaped salad veg’ after a skirmish broke out earlier today at their Offa’s Dyke super store, with two opposing groups of butch lesbian shoppers fighting over possession of the dwindling stocks of cucumbers and aubergines.

Frank McScrote, chief executive of the British Growers Association, predicted supermarkets could experience shortages of carrots, cabbage and cauliflower during the coming months, with the Brexit-induced climate change conditions also affecting the future of British tomato and aubergine growing – both of which are now on a proverbial ‘knife edge’ - as opposed to where they should be – in plant pots.

Oh my, and in addition we have yet another piece of conjured WEF / Great Reset theatre to keep the common herd useless eaters paranoid, and in a state of scare-a-thon panic. 

Do I detect the stench of a conjured and manipulated shortage / allotment scam in the air - with some enforced national 'rationing' app' ready n waiting on some government pc hard drive, for a fickle finger to hit the 'go' button?

A couple of years ago it was the Covid-1984 plague, now it’s a conjured market supply chain food shortage – with the incidence of widespread ‘eat thy neighbour’ cannibalism becoming the next ‘must do’ lunatic craze to dominate the social media networks.

There again, perhaps the next ‘predicted’ viral scamdemic outbreak is upon us too. The dreaded H5N1 Avian Flu is being dressed up to gross exaggeration levels, and further embellished by the Deep State’s venal media wizards as ready to jump species - from its current bird hosts to humans – all ready to incite another global panic station extravaganza - with a young girl in Cambodia reportedly catching bird flu from her pet rooster, then displaying symptoms of the virus when she started squatting in a nest box, laying eggs, pecking her food, and clucking.

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/uk-food-shortage-warning-carrots-apples-and-pears-could-vanish-from-supermarket-shelves-entirely-in-new-supply-shock/448614

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/feb/24/bird-flu-11-year-old-girl-in-cambodia-dies-after-being-infected

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Hark the ULEZ Scam: Mobility Credits

In today's 'Let's Kick Some Great Reset Ass' conspiracy-busting news roundup we bring our readers the latest and greatest hot gossip topic: Mobility Credits  – a timely scandalous exposé of the corrupt C40 Cities agenda promoted by WEF Satan Klaus Schlob’s Young Global Leaders forum - direct from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – publishing, as always, 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire and parody to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% predatory paedo' elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State Sabbatean death cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.

Sad Dick Khan’s ULEZ plot to tax Londoners back into Dark Ages penury for using a car - or gasoline-powered lawn mower - is in actual reality a ‘mission creep’ plot to not only enforce the New World Order / WEF / Great Reset / C40 Cities 2030 / 15 Minute Cities agenda, but also the dystopian control freak individual Mobility Credit system.

Okay, Sad Dick might have been ‘voted in’ as Mayor of London by a gullible common herd demographic, who swallowed, hook, line n sinker, the Woke Brigade’s‘ diversity, equality, and inclusiveness propaganda campaign to promote Khan’s ‘merits’ (sic) , but at the end of the day he’s simply another talentless wanker bureaucrap whom dogs bark at as he passes in the street - and yet another of the Deep State’s political muppets, subservient to the Three B’s Doctrine, of Bribery, Blackmail and Bludgeons.

Expanding the current scheme is priced at £400 million quid – and will directly affect 3:5 million hapless Londoners, who live within the proposed expanded zone and can’t afford to purchase new electric or fuel-efficient vehicles; with an excess of 100,000 cars affected - costing drivers an extra £4,500 quid a year.

But no worries, as the taxpayer licence-funded BBC have Sad Dick's back - with their shit-for-brains presenter, Alpa Patel, who identifies as a female of the species, declaring, in her unqualified arrogant opinion, that any fucker and their dog who disses Sad Dick's ULEZ scam rip-off is a 'far right conspiracy theorist'.

Conversely, inflation-plagued Londoners are speculating the money could be spent better elsewhere, as opposed to this panopticon surveillance system and exorbitant ‘pay to drive’ tax visited on a cash-strapped public – by sending even more weapons for the Ukraine war fiasco – or providing welfare shelters for the homeless - to stop them shitting in shop doorways – or even scrapping the current not fit for purpose No Hope Service and starting again, from scratch – with a medical staff that actually gives a fuck for injured and traumatised accident victims, and doesn’t leave them to suffer – and die – on a gurney in an A & E corridor.

Ergo, not only is Khan’s expanded ULEZ scam a motorist extortion, money-grubbing scheme, but linked directly to the C40 Cities / aka ‘15  minute Cities’ agenda – one festooned with fascista regulations – but includes a range of other invasive, totalitarian ‘jackboot on the neck’ rip-offs and dystopian decrees, mandates and personal liberty restrictions – specifically the individual Mobility Credits scam to be imposed on little Jimmy, Mummy, Daddy, and couch potato Granny.

The actual ‘tax’ (think road tax) in this proposed scheme (aka ‘intrusive stratagem’) will not be based on ‘the vehicle’ / car - (such will also apply to taxi / bus / coach / train travel) - but on the driver - and ‘passengers’ – with each being identified (digitally logged) via smart phone app as partaking in ‘a journey’.

To wit, the term ‘journey’ will apply to ‘citizens’ venturing within the parameters of, and specifically ‘outside’ – (beyond the borders) - of their allocated 15 minute city limits (prison) parameters – as designated by their personal Mobility Credit account – but alternately the statist system ‘might’  (sic) ‘reward good citizens for certain positive behaviours’.

No shit, Sherlock, how that stinks of psychological warfare / neuro-linguistic programming – aka brainwashing a la the Beijing Mafia’s good citizen credits system – for being happily coerced into not pre-planning / registering to go on a journey via your Mobility Credits smart phone app - and staying home instead – or walking to where the fuck ever – or biking – or swimming – any old greenwashing zero carbon, climate friendly activity that might ‘reward’ you with a few extra ‘good citizen’ low carbon brownie points.

Really, so how will that work for my daily one and a half hour countryside jogging route – cos who the fuck and their dog wants to jog round a set of ever-decreasing 15 minute city parameter circles for 90 minutes?

And the next question to pose is: how will the ‘keep to your proscribed area’ be imposed – via means of a fucking big fence, or apartheid wall – like the  Guantanamo Bay, or Gaza Strip concentration camps – or staged checkpoints, armed with machine gun nests – or city perimeter designated minefields - or a GPS / sat-nav linked ‘kill switch’ micro-chip in your arm - or arse?

Okay, back to reality for five. How will this 15 minute cities / Mobility Credits system really be imposed? Obviously through a set of digitally-enforced rules and regulations transmitted to the now-ubiquitous smart phones – being legally imposed and prosecutable if individuals breach them – which is reminiscent of the duplicitous manipulation of the Covid-1984 scamdemic ‘laws’ – being ‘primed’ / NLP conditioned (aka brainwashed) to simply accept the next dystopian totalitarian ‘do as we say’ edict from our incompetent puppets in power / government overseeing and enacting this elitist command-and-control dystopian future over the common herd sheeple – that’s us.

Yep, a case of Big Brother is Watching – your every fucking move – and eavesdropping on every anti-government whinge - all via the medium of invasive snake oil digital I/D cards – smart phone app devices – what the fuck ever – or a nano-chip code tattooed on the back of your hand – the dreaded triple 666 Mark of the Beast.

It doesn’t take a genius Mensa IQ to cogitate the fact that this freedom of liberty and individual travel movement restriction is based on the Peoples Utopia of China's tried n tested’ good citizen social credits system – of which Mobility Credits is a re-worded carbon copy of – and if your good citizen behaviour account balance is a few brownie points short of being ‘in credit’ then you ain’t going anywhere – and may not even be sanctioned to buy food.

https://www.mertonconservatives.org/8-crazy-facts-about-ulez;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C40_Cities_Climate_Leadership_Group;

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Vote Tory: Vote Therese Turnip

Broken Britain's incumbent Tory Nasty Party’s poor choice of a Cabinet Environment Secretary, Therese Coffey, a fat slug with the IQ of a lesser spotted gastropod, stirred up a fresh row this week in the House of Conmans when she claimed the common herd whingers complaining about inflation and food bills should 'work extra hours' – obviously including the unemployed and disabled sectors of our sick society in her arrogant, broad brush statement.

The androgynous Coffey, a Scouse halfwit notorious for her gaffe-prone comments and opinions, was branded 'appalling' for her 'shocking' sentiments by one Labour MP as they clashed across the floor of the Conmans debating chamber.

This spat came as the grossly overweight Coffey admitted the cost of living crisis was really tough for Broken Britain’s families, but then opined that the best way for people to boost their incomes was to work lots of overtime, or learn new skills, - or simply run for public office and become an MP, and get a mega-bucks income.

Ergo, and there you have it. Follow in the septic footsteps of the talentless Coffey, connive your way into an MP’s job at £84,144 nicker per annum – plus generous expenses – then into a Cabinet ministerial role, for a round robin salary figure of £156,000 quid – then you can tell the common herd to get their finger out, give up their precious ‘at home with family’ quality time, and work a shitload of extra hours to avoid malnutrition.

Really, the unqualified arrogance of this bitch, who could scoff two more taters than shit-wallowing pig in a gluttony contest. We pity the troll’s Suffolk Coastal constituents.

This current tongue-lashing ruckus is the latest in a series of controversies to hit the Environment Minister, who has been rightly dubbed 'Calamity Coffey' by her burgeoning legion of critics.

Alas, in a moment of foolish impulse, the dumpy Coffey Beast was not only appointed Health Secretary by her ‘up close n confidential’ brainless baggage buddy, Liz Truss, last year - in her fatal couple of weeks as the Tory’s ‘Fearless Leader’ – a sojourn marked by major policy fuckups – but also to the unrequited post of Deputy Crime Minister.

On that ridiculous occasion, the maths-deficient Kwazi Warthog was appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer and subsequently crashed the value of the £ pound Sterling - and Coffey admitted she was 'no role model' for the health secretary post after being challenged viz her grossly overweight appearance, indolent lifestyle, and enthusiasm for booze and cigars.

During environment questions in the House of Conmans yesterday, Coffey was quizzed by Labour's York Central MP, Rachael Maskell, viz the common herd voters and taxpayers struggling to afford food shopping – with Coffey shifting the blame for food poverty onto a low wages and unskilled jobs criterion – suggesting that people work even more hours – and harder - to put food on the table – thus confirming beyond all shadow of doubt that the government is utterly out of touch with the lives of its working class voters.

To add further insult to injury, the moronic Coffey came up with the bright idea that the hungry public demographic should eat turnips instead of thinking about lettuce and tomatoes and other fruit and vegetables amid supermarket shortages resulting from the current vacuous stock n trade excuses – war in the Ukraine and ice age weather conditions sweeping across north Africa– and while zero mention was made of potatoes, swedes, parsnips, cabbages, leeks, onions etcetera, et al - all UK home-grown produce - Coffey’s emphasis remained focused on a singular diet of boiled turnips.

So that’s Coffey - the poor man’s Marie Antoinette: ‘The poor have no bread? – then let them eat turnips’

Precisely what Coffey should be on – a Spartan diet of raw neeps to get her weight down to a manageable half ton.

Hmm, perhaps we’d be better off with dietary advice from celebrity scarecrow, Worzel Gummidge.

To close, Coffey was recently booed at the National Farmers' Union conference after she insisted UK egg shortages were not being caused by market and supply chain failures – but lazy chickens with a bad attitude, not laying their mandated weekly quotas of eggs.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11784741/Environment-Secretary-Therese-Coffey-says-struggling-food-bills-work-hours.html

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Wokester Cult Rank Women with Clucks

Yep, you read the headline right: the Woke cult’s ‘gender bender’ fascists are now ranking women in the same Linnaean taxonomy category as farmyard chickens – with both species defined as ‘egg-layers’.

Woke propagandists – a gaggle of self-appointed social engineering bunglers, incapable of shame, whose experience in this endeavour is more at scent than substance, and bears the lingering and pervasive stench of incompetence; are urging the free-thinking populations of Western nations, via a route of rhetorical propaganda, to refer to their womenfolk as 'the producers of eggs’ – on a par with a farmer’s free range hens.

These latter day social fascists, seizing – sans popular commission - the reins of ideological advocacy to naysay science - are intent on redefining the English language from what is today coherent and rational, into a Babel-esque Mother of all Confusion - claiming the gender descriptive words ‘male’ and ‘female’ should be phased out of the common English vocabulary, which might well have the likes of literary giants, of the calibre of Shakespeare, Byron and Oxford Dictionary lexicographer, Sir James Murray, turning in their graves – and / or funerary urns.

We kid you not. Woke cult researchers are busy bee occupied playing silly time-wasting games with the definitions of ecology - and evolutionary biology -  and have now mustered up the unqualified arrogance to declare that words such as ‘male’ and ‘female’ are too defining and offensive - and should be shit-canned, as in their pretentious and dilletante ‘Woke’ opinion they reinforce the notion that sex is binary – which, unfortunately for the Woke Joke gang, it actually is - and to state otherwise defies logic and common sense – which most of the latter day Woke philosophy is devoid of - and also a desired critical thinking ability that ain’t too common around the Woke cult’s campfires.

To avoid emphasising hetero-normative views, terms such as XY / XX individuals should be used instead – with men referred to as sperm-producers – and women as egg-producers – and that is the gospel according to the addled-brain Woke Joke wankers posing as social scientists, who further claim some terminology is not inclusive.

These same Woke ‘science guys’ (sic) have collated a group of problematic words which have been identified as harmful Pexels – which include man, woman, mother, father, primitive, advanced, alien, invasive, exotic, non-native and race.

Other flagged words include “citizen science” which could be harmful to the thousands of ‘non-citizen’ illegal economic immigrants landing in droves on a daily basis along the lengths of the southern coast beaches of our once-sceptred isle of Albion – sans visas - who may consider such terminology excludes them.

The Woke societal science gurus, in their bid to eviscerate the English language in totality, are further advising not to use the term ‘survival of the fittest’ due the fact such terminology might tend to discriminate against people with disabilities – along with a wide variety of ‘unfit’ types that fall under the couch potato taxonomy.

Discussing the term ‘fitness’ – whose biological application is to signify the success of a species in its habitat - Haley Skanger, a doctoral candidate at the Canada-based University for Gross Stupidity, opines that: “The definition is about reproductive output, which doesn't take into account individuals that don't produce offspring – such as ‘chopped n channelled’ trans-persons – regardless of starting their life journey with a womb and ovaries – or a cock and bollocks – and whose genitalia have been surgically remodelled via gender reassignment to resemble those of the opposite sex – and for better or worse, will never fully function to inseminate and impregnate, nor conceive and bear offspring.”

Food Bank Britain’s Woke-dominated University of Kunt has ordered students to cease and desist from using the term 'Christian name', claiming it is offensive to Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, Latter Day Morons, and Pancake Tuesday Adventists – as it is an ‘exclusive term’ which relates only to Christianity - the moral and spiritual foundation of Western civilisation.

Ergo, alternately students should use the term 'first name' or 'given name' to avoid being offensive to non-Christians – on a par with 'surname' as this derives from 'sire-name' and is therefore deemed to be patriarchal – with Kunt University chiefs - wholly ignorant that even the considered notion of policing language is the hallmark of every totalitarian society - initially proposing the alternative use of ‘family name’ instead – until the Woke department pointed out this too might be deemed offensive – to orphans.

Further borderline insanity claims certain words emphasise hetero-normative views – such as the phrase ‘double-blind”’ - which is often used to describe trials where neither the participants nor scientists know if they are on a drug or placebo – and this now considered as potentially offensive to eye patch sporting pirate types - and those using a white stick to get around.

The Wokester advocates of these changes warn ‘inadvertent harm’ can arise due to inherent complexities and historical legacies of language – regardless of the use of harmful language not being intentionally used to cause offense. Hence the need to silence dissenting voices – specifically those of the critical thinkers – slurred, smeared and deplatformed via a regime of distraction-orientated, and evasive, semantic whifferdale manoeuvres by the Woke cult fascistas - to enable the seizing of, and thus controlling of, the direction of the news narratives of the day.

The entire concept comes as part of the EEB (Ecology and Evolutionary Biology) Language Project, which was founded by a collaboration of Woke Joke scientists in the good ole US of A and Fidel Trudeau-run Canada.

Regardless of intent, the Woke cult’s project of re-engineering language will cause confusion to many, and the last thing that science and academic professionals need is a lack of clarity viz the meaning of the words they use, as this misguided EEB Language Project has collated a group of problematic words which, while being case-appropriate, are now branded as harmful as they tend to bear too much in common with that embarrassing and inconvenient semantic pariah – the Truth.

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/woke-scientists-urge-people-to-refer-to-women-as-egg-producing-people/442556

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Drag Queen Story Hour Degeneracy

WTF is going down with this ‘in yer face’ drag queen story hour degeneracy – where we have hairy-arsed androgynous dog wankers with beards, fat hairy legs, and sporting a pair of sagging false tits – plus beer gut paunches that slop over their mini-skirted waistlines - invited into elementary school classrooms by some ‘progressive’ head teacher, for the purpose of reading ‘fairy’ tales (sic) to Nursery and Year One age 'innocent' minors?

This bullshit represents the visible decline of our entire societal culture to a grossly perverted, ‘dark side’ construct, and is a poke in the eye prompt for Western society to get back to practicing the precepts of our moral-based ‘Old Time’ Christian religion - replete with public stoning’s, ‘burned-at-the-stake’ immolations, and three nail ‘cross yer legs’ crucifixions.

What an utter cultural mess when we have third party socio-political ‘influencer’ agencies Stonewall and Mermaids - and their leftie lobbyist Philistine cohorts – driving their radical trans-agenda along with a policy of censorious anti-intellectualism when influencing the indoctrination of Nursery and Year One schoolkids – an age-inappropriate audience automatically captive to the voice of ‘adult authority’ – being directed to conceptualise their teacher’s personal skewed views via neuro-linguistic programming sessions, regarding all manner of broad based politicised Woke narrative bullshit – and Pride-linked anti-Christian decadence.

This wicked curriculum entails all manner of unsuitable crap for elementary classroom minds - up to and including the radical polarised ‘progressive’ (sic) slogans that encapsulate concepts, both abstract and actual, viz gender dysphoria deliberations, queer theory, trans-identity, misogyny, critical race theory, and the entire white privilege abuse / shaming debate - plus leftist social justice narratives on the non-science rooted zero carbon and climate change brouhaha – and smear and ostracise any and all – terfs included - who disagree with, and are critical of, this toxic, skewed philosophy that compromises and inverts the essence of the foundations of logic and common sense.

Yep, this is what is being indoctrinated to young kids, when the poor little buggers don’t know how to side-step across a gender pronoun minefield – and can’t even comprehend the meaning of ‘white debt’ - nor institutional racism, colourism, passive-aggressive bullying, or a host of other like micro-aggressions - or can spell ‘diversity’ or ‘inclusivity’ – or ‘bewildered’ - yet are left in a head scratching state of utter confusion, post-brainwashing – and thinking to themselves ‘Teacher doesn’t half talk some shit’ – all due being fed a diet of intolerant conformism – and the fact they are being denied instruction on how to activate, employ, and apply their critical cerebral facilities of ‘how to think’ but alternately ‘what to think’ - and any instance of non-conformism is viewed by the Woke Inquisition – as ever promoting their so-called ‘progressive’ ideology’s identitarian Diversity, Equity and Inclusion premise on a foundation of credentialism – (wherein meritocracy is racist) - as proof of wickedness and heresy.

If this is now the accepted definition of ‘progressive thought’ then it is not acceptable for dissemination and circulation in a Christian household – even one of tolerance, where all, of any socio-political followings and sectarian beliefs - even the Wokester gang, and their LGBT-QWERTY pals - are welcome to rest and dine during their journeys – on the condition as they keep their lips buttoned and do not endeavour to preach and impose their skewed doctrines on ‘mein host’, and others present.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Woke Joke Push Zero Carbon Agenda

In today's 'Let's Kick Some Batshit Bonkers Woke Ass' nutty news roundup we bring our readers the latest and greatest hot gossip topic: ‘Corporatocracy Sleaze' – a timely scandalous exposé of the 'Zero Carbon Equals Mega Profits agenda' from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – publishing, as always, 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire and parody to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% predatory paedo' elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State Sabbatean death cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.

Hark the psycho-babble of the Wokester cult, engaged in this muttering murmuration with their flawed science greenhouse gas / anthropogenic climate change alarmist sect zealot pals – (previously misnomered by the Al Bore Congregation as a now-redundant ‘global warming’ crisis) – in the act of creating virtual religions for themselves – all to manipulate the base line scripts of socio-political theatre regarding carbon footprints with ‘psycho-babble’ – in an attempt to raise themselves to the upper echelons of the virtue chain, and thus exercise, and impose, their self-assumed ‘righteous dominion’ over the common herd – and encumber a gullible – and hapless - common herd with eyesore solar panel arrays and wind turbines that ‘do not’ do what it says on the packet.

The Church of Woke, along with their Temple of Latter Day Doomster ‘first cousins’ - (Extinction Rebellion / Just Stop Oil etc et al) - are wielding a brazen and unqualified - yet more at scent than substance - authority – moral or otherwise – (and one most definitely not grounded in an intellectual foundation qualification) to force feed their zero CO2 / go green / 15 minute cities – ‘or face environmental extinction’ theology down the gullets of humanity.

Such a pity, for at first glance, not all of them seem to be so gullible and stupid – and might be regarded as relatively intelligent – until, of course, they open their mouth and start spouting the dogmatic, gobshite liturgy of their respective creed – with the Saint Greta acolytes proselytizing on the Original Sin – the Industrial Revolution. Then, as they push for wind and solar ‘green power’ sources, and naysay all things ‘sensibly nuclear’ - tar-brush the continued use of fossil fuels as a Code Red for humanity – up there with Defcon 2 – and emblazon their credo with the stamp of irrationality.

Ergo, in the Wokester world, where black is white, and two plus two makes five - (or three, depending on the vagaries of IMF economic policy) – here we have a form of logic embraced by the likes of the ‘for profit’ global corporations that drive these net zero pipe dreams, and an agenda embraced by NLP-brainwashed Young Global leadershits, and promoted by the mass media machine – and too the utterly ridiculous mad Satan Klaus Schlob – master of the Great Reset architects – now discovering himself on a par with the fictitious White Queen, who impressed upon a disbelieving Alice, via a similar delusional mindset, that one could believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

BP Win ‘Greedy Bastards’ Award

Major oil company BP have unashamedly boasted that their corporate profits hit a record £23 billion quid in 2022 - while the ‘common herd’ public’s energy bills soared, reducing many inflation-stricken households to starvation-level penury.

There again, following this revelation, now we finally know what the 'BP' corporate logo is an acronym for: BIG PROFITS.

So go on, folks; fire a ‘fuck you’ e-mail off to the greedy twats  and specifically their money-grubbing Irish CEO, Bernard Looney – who netted a salary package of £4:5 million nicker last year.

Mind you, that’s fuck all to what BP’s Norseland Viking Chairman, Helge Lund, picked up - a whopping £60 million quid in wages n dividends.

bernard.looney@bp.com;     helge.lund@bp.com; 

murray.auchincloss@bp.com;      bpconsumer@bp.com;   

BPmeUK@bp.com;     heretohelp@bp.com;    careline@bp.com;

There again, perhaps the Greedy Bastards award should have gone to Shell – whose record end of year profits tallied up to £40 billion quid – the highest ever in 115 years.

Albeit BP n Shell ain’t on their own in announcing mega-profits, as similar bonanzas were declared by rival oil n gas giants Exxon, Mobil, and Chevron last week.

The price of Brent crude capped out at $128 bucks a barrel high, but has since dropped back to $80 – with natural gas prices also spiking at a record high due this Ukraine military conflict fiasco, but on a par with oil due the fact while both might have now reversed their all-time highs the same is not true at the pumps for drivers - nor domestic consumers struggling to heat their homes; and the average household now forking out a crippling £3,500 a year, double the cost of twelve months ago, just to keep warm and boil the kettle for a cuppa.

In preparation for this coming April’s new fiscal year budget, the Tory Crime Minister, Fishy Sunak, and the rodent-featured Chancellor, Jeremy Hunt – (a wanker whose delusional concept of the national economy allows him to think up as many as six impossible things before breakfast) - are busily engaged in covert contemplation, on a scam to shaft the hapless British public even further, by upping the fuel duty on petrol and diesel, and committing the working class to further depths of penury and despair.

But in all sense of reality, do the Tory Nasty Party’s elitist hierarchy give a flying fuck about the social welfare of the common herd – that’s us? In fact do any of the malingering twats that comprise the 650 multi-party sitting membershit of the House of Conmans care a toss about the 'electorate' - the folks who voted them into office? 

Easy answer. They do not.

If prices at the pumps had fallen at the same rate as wholesale levels, then petrol at the pumps would be 10p to 14p lower, and diesel 20p. From 2015, up until 2020, the average profit per litre for petrol and diesel was around 8 to 9p.

Conversely, from 2020 petrol profits have doubled to 19p per litre, and diesel has more than doubled, to 24p per litre.

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/bp-profits-hit-record-23billion-in-2022-while-energy-bills-soared/437828

Harry the Spare’s a ‘Kiss n Tell’ Gobshite

In today's 'Let's Ridicule Some Aristocratic Ass' nasty news piece we bring our readers the latest and greatest hot gossip topic: a scandalous exposé of 'Spare Royal Ranga Shags Peasant' from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – publishing, as always, 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire and parody to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% predatory paedo' elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State Sabbatean death cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.

Revealed at last – the mystery of the so-called ‘Sussex Slut’ - this ‘older woman’ seductress who had a drunken sex romp with the 16-year old Prince Harry’s in a farmer’s field  behind a Wiltshire pub, and took his virginity, back in the summer season halcyon days of July 2001.

Now those ‘preferably forgotten’ sordid and embarrassing memories have been stirred - and broadcast for public consumption – thanks to the egocentric braggart Harry boasting of the intimate and ‘private’ rendezvous in this loose lips 'one trick pony' tell-all Spare memoir – in a pathetic attempt to make the lacklustre tome into a scandal-mongering ‘he said / she said’ family feuding and salacious, money-spinning  best-seller.

So, for any fucker and their dog who might be remotely inclined to display the slightest modicum of interest in how this IQ-deficient ginger mingin 16-year old schoolboy, Prince Harry, of House Hewitt, lost his virginity back in July of 2001, here is the sordid and inglorious tale that manifested in the wake of an illegal, underage boozing session at The Vine Tree – a Wiltshire pub in the village and civil parish of Norton - pop’ 118, at last 2011 census – (which doubtless still serves gaggles of spoiled brat underage Hurray Henry drinkers to this day) - where Harry coupled with an ‘older woman’ named Sasha Bargepole – on the occasion of her 19th birthday party - and she became the first (of many) of Harry’s ‘three hole’ casual sex romps.

Sasha, now a mother of two sprogs, (no, none are Harry’s ginger mingers) who today drives earthmoving diggers for a living, had invited Harry - then a 16-year-old schoolboy at Eton, who liked to be known by his nom de guerre of ‘Bazzer’ - to the pub-sited celebration of her 19th birthday.

“We were both kind of shit-faced after downing all manner of vomitus hard liquor shots, and one thing quickly led to another, then Harry suggested we go outside for a ‘fag - and a tequila and sambuca-fuelled ‘wham-bam ’shag-a-thon’?”

“So I thought ‘okay’, cos I’d never shagged a Prince before – even if his so-called Eton schoolmates all called him the ‘Hewitt bastard’, and a ‘royal cuckoo’ behind his back – or that he was just the ginger mingin ‘spare’ - and never going to be a King - even though I really wanted to fuck his brother Wills’ instead – at least I’d be following in the famed footsteps of Nell Gwynn and claim to have shagged a Royal – even if he was just the Spare.”

“We ended up in a farmer’s field behind the pub, and me having to give 'Bazzer' a sloppy blow job to get him hard – then coupling in a knee trembler against the hawthorn hedge. Now I’m thankful that ‘Bazzer’ is a 'Wham-Bam' premature ejaculator and only lasted a couple of minutes, as the cheeks of my arse were like a pin cushion, with the thorns sticking into it as he banged away – and probably thought from my pelvic spasms and thrusts and screams that I was in the throes of orgasmic delight and getting my rocks off – which were even louder when he stuck his four inch wiener up my back passage - then shot his load and asked me 'Did the Earth move for you too?"

“Really, we were so pissed and the entire thing had a touch of farce about it, as Harry’s security detail bodyguards came looking for him, and were peering over the hedge, giggling themselves silly at the sight of Harry bonking me, and his spotty white arse bobbing back n forth like a fiddler’s elbow, playing Rimsky-Korsakov’s Flight of the Bumble Bee.”

“Thank Gawd Harry is no stud and can only last a few minutes before he shoots his load, cos after that knee trembler, with my bare bum rammed up against the hawthorn hedge, that was the worst passion killer fuck I’ve ever had - and I’ve still got the scars - like a dartboard - from picking thorns out of my arse cheeks for days after the event.”

And that 'grope n bonk' orgasm-deficient encounter - for Sasha – marked the end of her friendship with ‘Ginger Bazzer’. From being regular drinking pals, the pair never texted, spoke or saw each other again – and Sasha soon started socialising with guys with bigger cocks who had no problems getting an erection, and could hump her for more than five minutes – and bring her to a series of shuddering orgasms – without the bare cheeks of her arse being jammed up against a prickly hawthorn hedge.

Sasha related one gutter press hack from the Daily Shitraker, “I don’t understand why the ginger pillock went into such detail in his stupid book, as he could have simply said he lost his virginity at 16 years old - in a field behind a pub - and left it at that – and not invaded my privacy, exposing me as some kind of nympho’ seductress slut, ready to drop her knickers for any old randy royal that comes along.”

“But that’s just typical of Bazzer’s ‘Me, me, me’ ego – cos we always knew he was a bit of a thick twat whose mouth ran away with itself – which it has most definitely done in this Spare book. Really, who wants to know whether he’s a Roundhead or a Cavalier – or about his todger getting frost bite?”

Now Sasha has a job as a digger driver - excavating clandestine mass graves for an unnamed NHS Trust – to bury the unreported legions of Covid mRNA vaxx fatalities – a world away from Harry’s Netflix-funded, indolent, dilletante existence at his Montecito-sited ‘Castle Hewitt’ mansion in sunny California – engaging in five minute bonking sessions with the self-obsessed Yoko Moano.

Nice one 'Bazzer' - your ghost-scripted 'Spare' volume has gifted the anti-monarchist gang - and the radical, rabid Republic movement - with an actual arsenal of 'justified calibre' ammunition to see an end to the Saxe-Coburg und Gotha Germanic tribe, possessed by this utterly absurd, exaggerated sense of entitlement - and abuse of privilege - lording it over our once-sacred Isle of Albion.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

South.Park.S26E02.WEBRip.x264-ION10

https://www.gbnews.uk/royal/meghan-markle-and-prince-harrys-lawyers-are-looking-into-south-park-after-sussexes-ruthlessly-attacked-in-new-series/444846

 https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11713609/Im-older-woman-took-Harrys-virginity-Digger-driver-Sasha-Walpole-40-comes-forward.html

Maths Homework Question Baffles Parents

Parents left totally stumped by 'simple' maths question for 10-year-olds - can you solve it - cos the Year 5 kids are baffled?

Yep, this is a Year 5 maths homework question – of no practical use whatsoever in the real world – whereas logic and critical thinking are rooted in wholly divergent thought processes.

Q: At the beginning of the day, Hasim counted his paper round wages.

He gave his big brother, Achmed, 1/3 of his money – for protection.

He spent £12 on presents for his 14-year-old sister, Slutsy – (a hijab and a chastity belt).

Hasim then counted what he had left, and it was half the amount he was paid by Mr al-Qurayshi at the local newsagents.

Hasim gave his brother 1/3 of the money, spent £12, and still had half of his money left.

Thus how much money did he give big brother, Achmed?

Ergo, 12 = (1/6) x. Thus x must be resolved: x = 72. 72/3 = £24 - hence this is the amount Hasim gave his brother Achmed – who promptly blew the lot on an ISIS t-shirt and an Abu Omar al-Baghdadi full colour poster for his bedroom wall.

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/parents-left-totally-stumped-by-simple-maths-question-for-10-year-olds-can-you-solve-it/436659

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.