In today's 'Let's Kick Some
Establishment Ass' news feature we bring our readers the latest and greatest in
Downing Street fuck-ups Рa scandalous expos̩ special edition of
preferential treatment for mooching Afghan refugees, while ignoring the legions
of homeless, bona fide, British citizens – hot off the press from Anarchy
Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – publishing, as always, 'ring of
the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged
bespoke satire; to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian
non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical,
pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg
recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or
empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% predatory paedo'
elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State Sabbatean death
cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement
and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule
this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.
The Minister for Afghan Resettlement has informed salivating gutter press hacks - assembled en mass outside the Home Office for a spot of newsworthy scandal - that the number of Afghans still enjoying the British taxpayer-funded comfort of hotels around our once-sceptred isle since arriving here as guests under the Tory's 'Operation Warm Welcome' - illustrates the scale of the task facing officials trying to house refugees fleeing the barbaric regime of the Taliban and the re-imposition of fundamental Sharia law.
(Que? WTF? The Tory Nasty
Party have appointed an actual 'Minister' to oversee the settlement of Afghan
refugees in Food Bank
No shit, Sherlock – perhaps
next they'll get round to appointing a 'Minister' for housing homeless British
citizens, instead of continuing to ignore their plight – but don't hold yer
fucking breath for that to happen – even in the face of an encroaching harsh
Winter and the spread of deadly Covid-1984 D+ variants.
The intellectually-challenged Victoria Atkins, Tory MP for Lincolnshire's Slouch & Sandcastle constituency – appointed Minister for Afghan Resettlement by Bonkers Boris Nonsense in September - told reporters that 11,000 refugees of the 15,000 who fled Afghanistan (er, let's get this one right – were airlift 'evacuated' in British military / RAF planes) when the Taliban swept back into power - remain in UK hotels as permanent council estate / social housing accommodation is not available (not yet been built).
Why the fuck prioritise refugees when this not fit for purpose excuse for a government can't even find housing accommodation for its own British born n bred citizens - and our ethnic homeless, the number of hapless fuckers sleeping rough in doorways n alleyways n where the fuck have you, is legion.
Obviously Minister Atkins is as fucking useless in charge of this Afghan Citizen Resettlement Scheme – purportedly housing foreign refugees - as she was in her previous Home Office post - counting Britain's Plod Squad rank n file numbers – no idea / totally clueless.
Hmmm, if Victoria 'Clueless' is going to be appointed to any top notch cabinet post, perhaps Minister for Hypocrisy might be better suited – due her past history of maliciously vetoing the appointment of Niamh Eastwood, director of Release, to the independent advisory NGO Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs Council (ACMD) as an act of revenge - as Eastwood had previously criticised Home Office drug policy on social media – specifically slamming Atkins opposition to the introduction of drug consumption rooms – while Atkins' spouse was / is CEO of British Sugar, who run their very own cannabis farms (under permit) growing weed for use in 'children's medicines'.
While local hotels across Broken Britain have been block booked by the Home Office, many refugee families ended up in former student accommodation and inexpensive hostels, described eloquently as both 'accommodations of last resort' – and 'fucking pig parlours'.
Conversely, rumour has it that Scarborough's once-iconic Grand Hotel, for the past two months the reluctant home to some 200 Afghan refugees, is now a shadow of its former glory, with the hallways littered in goat shit, discarded Bolani crusts and take-away packs of Quabili Palau - plus squabbling kids running riot and shouting infidel-related slanderous insults at genuine Brit tourists.
Doubtless feeling left out of House of Conmans question times and debates, and prompted to say any old shit rather than be recorded in Hansard as 'irrelevant members', the Green Party's single MP, Caroline Lucas, (Brighton Pavilion) and Labour's shadow immigration minister – the unpronounceable Rt Hon Buttplug Charalambous (MP for Cyprus West) – issued statements claiming that Afghans who fled the Taliban under Operation Warm Welcome are sick of poor living conditions and Travel Lodge breakfasts – along with the litany of Tory promises going unfulfilled – and would now prefer to be flown back home to Kabul – as things simply couldn't be any worse under Taliban rule.
Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka 'the Truth'.
This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.
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