UKIP Branded Terrorist Corps

In today’s ‘Totalitarian Wet Dream Come True’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Jack Trotsky, manning the smart phone hack line tapped into the UK's Thought Police HQ for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Well, that's it for the indestructible Nigel Barrage's UKIP political machine - the only viable threat to the Conservative's Nasty Party government dominance - and the main persistent voice pushing to shitcan our once-sceptred isle's membership of Brussels' graft and corruption-ridden EUSSR 28 'failed state' conglomerate – as a wave of paranoid hysteria manifests into a raging 'terrorist-phobia' frenzy in the wake of a gaggle of petty-minded moronic jobsworths posing as school teachers declaring UKIP to be a radical threat not only to the future of Broken Britain but peace and prosperity throughout the known Universe.

How so, asks the collective voice of the common herd? Hmmm, how so indeed.
The class of fifteen-year-old Ronnie McScrote - a pupil at Hampshire's Bell End 'Wilderbeest Academy' - had just held a discussion on the whys, wherefores and aspirations and intents of radical political groups – and specifically the current wave of Islamic terrorism that seems to hold the West's social demographic in the thralls of 'shitting kittens' scaredomville.

Thus Ronnie, being of an inquisitive nature, used his class pc to Google further information and lo and behold up pops the UKIP website – a fact clocked by the Albanian teaching assistant, Ms Stupidia Moronsky, who immediately informed Headmistress Marie-Louise Tithead – who in turn lost no time contacting Chief Inspector Frank Kafka, head honcho of Hampshire's feared Thought Police Unit.

The next thing the hapless Ronnie knows is the Thug Squad have him pinned on the deck, Tasered and pepper sprayed for good measure, with wrists and ankles cuffed - and some uniformed halfwit in a flack jacket sticking a HK416C assault rifle in his ear while reading him his non-existent legal rights under Section 19a of the 'You're Guilty Until Proven Innocent' 2015 Terrorism Act.

Speaking to one gutter press hack from the I-Spy Gazette after being summoned to the Thought Police HQ on Orwell Street, Ronnie's window cleaner father, Biffo McScrote revealed "They sez ter me ' Yer fuckin' son's a buddin' anarchist – he's bin on that bastard Nigel Farage's UKIP website an' we know he's on the payroll of the effin' anti-Christ wiv this campaignin' fer Britain ter pull out of the EUSSR an' give Brussels the finger'."

"Then they sez 'Who did he vote fer in the last election?' – and I sez he didn't cos he's too fuckin' young ter vote. Then they starts on me – who did I vote fer? Wot's me job? An I sez 'winder cleaner' – and they sez 'Stalin an' Lenin were winder cleaners – an' that fuckin' Osama bin Liner bloke wot ran Al Qaeda'."

"Then this big ugly twat wiv bad breath, Chief Inspector Frank Kafka, starts on about 'Don't yer know we got a Tory government wot's lookin' after our best interests an' your fuckin' son should be on their website an' not idolisin' that cunt Farage an' his UKIP terrorist scum gang'."

"They sez 'Your Ronnie is growin' inter a real extremist shit an' reckons Britain's run by a mob of public school poofter bureaucrats wot don't know their arse from their elbow an' lettin' too many darkies an' gyppos an' pikeys an' ragheads sneak in an' steal all the good jobs an' gettin' mega-bucks welfare benefit handouts – an Farage's UKIP could do a better job of runnin' things than our Mr Scameron an' his Tory government – an' Ronnie's remark on that score takes the effin' political incorrectness biscuit cos this is the very same path wot Guy Fawkes went down'."

"Then they comes round the house mob-handed an' armed ter the fuckin' teeth an' kicks the door in fer good measure an' searches Ronnie's bedroom ter see if he had a Muslim prayer mat or a map of Syria or a phone number or e-addy fer ISIS HQ – or any bomb makin' equipment. An' when they can't find owt of an incriminatin' nature they gets pissed off an' lobbed a flash-bang grenade inter the dog kennel an' me pit bull Fangs shit himself."

For the record, under the new authoritarian and oppressive counter terror act, staff at schools are asked to identify children who may be influenced by extremist material – and in this instance we have a pupil found guilty of 'curiosity' for Googling up UKIP's website to review their campaign policies

And coming up next is a shifty move engineered by the Tory's testosterone-fuelled transvestite Home Secretary, Terry 'Testicles' May, to push the Snoopers’ Charter Investigatory Powers Bill through Parliament faster than shit through a goose - while MPs are distracted by the UK’s looming EUSSR membership referendum – and looking over their respective shoulders to see if Operation Midland's paedo squad are hot on their heels to collar them on historic kiddie fiddling charges.

Really, what irrational, shit for brains cretin - what deranged moron – or coven thereof - thought this panopticon surveillance state system up – a Pre-Crime Squad reincarnation of the Cheka or Ogpu or Gestapo or Stasi? The same Tavistock Institute / Chatham House scumbag think tank that innovated the likes of trench warfare?

At it's absurd best such represents bureaucracy gone mad. A national paranoid, xenophobic neurosis infecting 90% of the peasant demographic – all caused by government scaremongering and mass media black propaganda mesmerism that has seen the decay and consumption of logic and common sense and turned once-canny Brit's into a nation of snitches – grassing up their neighbours to the Thought Police.

To wit, restrictions on free speech and thought are no longer a tyrannical aberration that manifests in Third World banana republics – welcome to Nasty Party PM Posh Dave Scameron's politically fucked-up 2016 Broken Britain – a total fucking shambles in the making.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration:

Disclaimer: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled rabid royals, noncing nobles, politico ponces, bent money-laundering lawyers and corruption-ridden porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' casualties and thrown into paranoid psychosis states of scandalous exposure anxiety attacks, no innocent non-combatant women and kids - and especially so UKIP supporters – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry 'felcher friendly' sized mammals – ferrets and stoats, voles, moles, white mice, bum rats, chinchillas, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, miniature coypus, dwarf beavers, etc – were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

Conversely, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).