Tuesday, 4 August 2015

UK Plods No Longer Investigate Crimes

In today’s ‘Enhanced Police Inaction' special edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Mollie McSkanger on the editorial desk at Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Following an ill-thought 'blonde moment' announcement by serial divorcee Chief Constable Sara Thornton - the head honcho of the all-new (and totally useless) National Police Chiefs' Council – that Broken Britain's not fit for purpose Plod Squad will no longer investigate burglaries committed against common herd properties, WTF are the options open to the victim public? Resort to extra-judicial actions and take the law into their own hands?

And why the fuck not. If the slack arsed plods can't get their act together to investigate a burglary (unless it's at some VIP politico's gaff) then they obviously won't be bothered with the 'hang 'em high' mob rule antics of street justice vigilantes.

To wit, by the same rule, if these slothful 'window dressing' tossers won't act against street level crimes then they're good for fuck all and might as well be disbanded - and each community field its own tribal level law n order squad.

Thornton's admission of inadequacy statement to a gutter press hack from the Kosher Nostra Gazette last week has generated a veritable seismic wave of earth-shaking criticism from community and activist groups around our once-sceptred isle, with Ron McScrote, director of Anarchy Now, appearing on Channel 4's Shitraker Hour last night to denounce the NPCC chief as a muddle-headed blodger who needs to spend more time getting the Plod Squad's act together and less committing adultery with her uniformed toy boys.

McScrote's verbal diatribe, in tune with the sentiments of the UK general public, castigated Thornton and the entire police force as a non-performing national joke.
"So these tosspots don't do burglary investigations anymore? Well, there's fuck all surprisin' in that one – they've been ignorin' child sexual abuse complaints fer fuckin' decades already – an' coverin' up the sex crimes of Westminster's Very Important Paedophiles."

"WTF is next I asks yer – no budget to investigate murders too? They've already set a precedent on that one with the non-investigation of Dr David Kelly's assisted suicide after he woz found propped up against a tree in Oxford's Grassy Knoll Woods – an' Jill Dando's murder ter boot – simply arrest an' stitch up the first knobhead wot comes along."

"Same as the Met never investigatin' the murder of Princess Di' in Frogland – an' every fucker an' their dog knew it woz the Royals wot got MI5 ter bump her off cos she woz a pain in the arse wiv her human rights campaignin' an' upsettin' the land mine market - an' bein' up the tub wiv Dodo al Fayed's sprog. Why the fuck that bothered them I don't know cos they already had a royal cuckoo wiv the ginger mingin Prince Harry Hewitt – so wot the fuck difference woz a little Ayrab Muslim prince gonna make?"

"The Plods are there ter serve the moneyed elite an' far too busy fittin' up the likes of uber-bloggers an' Truthsayers like Chris Spivey fer takin' the piss outa Queen Betty an' that tosser Stavros - an' exposing the Woolwich / Drummer Lee Pygmy false flag terrorist attack farce wot woz undertaken by MI5's Amateur Dramatics Society an' a gang of dunces off the Tavistock Institute's crisis actor B list."

Thought for the day. In February 2013 the feckless Chief Constable Sara 'Excuses' Thornton was assessed as the 18th most powerful woman in Broken Britain by the BBC's Woman's Hour – perhaps due her ability to perform 100 press-ups - with her casual shag buddy, Thames Valley Police Superintendent Gilbert 'Baldy' Houalla, sat on her back.

Disclaimer: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled politicos, bent nonce-ponce money-laundering lawyers and crooked porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' anxiety-damage casualties, no innocent non-combatant women and children – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry mammals - otters / voles – Syrian refugees or Calais-based illegal immigrants - were harmed in posting this insurrectionist epistle.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Billy Carlin said...

I thought she was a lesbian as well rusty - ah well she is a bike then instead of dyke :)

Ally C said...

If they aint got the budget or staff to investigate burglaries then how the fuck are they going to proceed with all these multiple Operation Kiddie Fiddler inquiries into historic child sexual abuse complaints?
Or is that the portend of things to come - insufficient budget - nonce ponce inquiries shut down.
Bullshit. A hole has appeared in the road - the police are looking into it.

Sauve Qui Peut said...

On the subject of nonces when are the Aberdeen plods going to investigate the historic child sexual abuse complaints regarding the serial rape of Hollie Greig and other wee kids at the Beechwood Special School? Let's not overlook the fact that Hollie has named one of the Aberdeen police's own officers, Terry Major as her abuser/ rapist, along with his wife Sylvia and a score of others including a sitting Sheriff - all of whom have escaped investigation, arrest and prosecution due being members of an untouchable Satanic paedophile / ritual blood sacrifice ring which has been establishment protected from on high: so far.

Angus Mole said...

On the subject of vile nonces is this latest expose of Ted Heath just a distraction exercise so folks will take their eye off the (Ken 'Groper' Clarke scandal) ball as he's still alive and might spill the beans if enough fingers point and shout 'J'accuse!' - whereas the despicable child strangling paedo-sodomite Heath is dead?