Scameron Cabinet Gets 'Ethnic Cleansing'

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Tory's pro-Zionist stooge of a Foreign Secretary, Willy 'Fudge' Vague, has been laterally-demoted to the 'Wicked Whips' department - before he manifests as a major political embarrassment and has to be ditched like some hot potato when inevitably named and shamed in the looming CSA inquiry / witch hunt for his past scandal suppression and cover up of kiddie fiddling crimes by his political contemporaries.

But it's not only the closet case Vague that's copping it in the neck in this latest Number 10 Kristallnacht, as Posh Dave Scameron makes a move towards getting shut of any fucker and their dog who dares sport the audacity to disagrees with him - and, following pre-2015 election orders from his Rothshite crime syndicate bankster bosses, stuffing the Downing Street cabinet with a batch of blonde moment skangers to provide a facade of political correct equal opportunities to the Tory end of the Con-Dem coalition's misogynist pantomime horse.

Obviously suffering a hallucinatory endorphin high after snorting a couple of tracks of wife Snowy's Harrod's finest Columbian nose candy, the mendacious Scameron even went so far as to fire his Deputy PM, Mick Clogg and consign the hapless Sheffield wanker to the back benches - before being informed Cloggy is actually the Lib-Dum coalition partner leader and not some common or garden Tory muppet to be used as a doormat.

Another front bench victim of this latest 'night of the long knives' / St Valentine's Day cabinet office massacre, Education Secretary Michael Gove received his pink slip and P45 via a Sorry-Gramme courier delivery last night and venting his ire, informed gutter press media hacks: "Fuck Cabbage Patch Dave, the ungrateful oick" - and intends to toss politics to the capricious moods of the four winds and return to his former acting career at Channel 4, where he starred as the Children's Hour super-hero, Pob the Invincible.

The contemptible - and useless - Environment Secretary Owen 'Cobblers' Paterson - aka the Fracker's Friend - has been effectively fired for conflicts of interest: wasting too much Parliamentary time promoting toxic GMO crops for Monsanto, riding horses round Mongolia, and the obsessive genocidal pursuit of mass badger culling - plus his dismal inaction to push for a police inquiry into the serial rape of his North Shropshire constituent child victim, the Downs Syndrome-afflicted Hollie Greig - a survivor of years of sexual abuse at the hands of an elitist - and untouchable - Aberdeen-based Satanic paedophile ring.

99-year old Sir George Young, ex-chief whip and royal honours scrutiniser, gets forced out for appearing with his children on a 1982 British Rail poster alongside Jimmy 'Paedo' Savile, designed to promote innovative measures to entice people to take their bicycles on trains. Oh my, how our past affiliations can catch up years down the road and kick us squarely in the arse.

As the incompetent Defence Secretary Philip Dandruff' Hammond gets set to take over from Willy Vague, the 26 stone Eric 'Pigswill' Pickles is to continue in his entrenched position as Minister for Obesity - as they don't have a crane big enough to move him out of the cabinet office - while the incumbent transvestite Home Sec' Terry 'Testosterone' May is rumoured to be taking over the Tory's cross-dressing ministry portfolio.

David 'Sheep-Shagger' Jones gets sacked as Welsh secretary, while fellow Taffy, Stephen Crabb, becomes Minister for Crustaceans. Pedantic ditherer, Dominic 'Fusspot' Grieve says a reluctant bye-bye to his influential Attorney General post - and joins the boy-groping Ken Clarke, latterly Minister with Fuck All To Do (apart from surf child porno websites) in the local Jobcentre Plus queue.

So, it's all go for more split-arsed ministers - and a smattering of strutting gasbags, with regional accents to boot - such as 'foot-in-mouth' Esther 'Scouse' McVey stepping up as Minister for Blonde Moments, while Liz 'Firewood' Truss - takes over at Defra to carry on in Farmer Owen's flawed footsteps and promote fracking, GMO foods and crops, eyesore wind farms and the further decimation of our badger populations.
Anna ' Gobshite' Soubry, MP for Botox, will assume the mantle of Minister for Profuse Apologies (a minimum IQ requirement post) due her extensive past experience regarding such work and her propensity for opening mouth before engaging brain.

The hysterical Anglophobe 'Priti Polly' Patel comes aboard the cabinet ship of state as Secretary for Tanning Lounges - a move designed to halt her Parliamentary campaigning for a return of capital punishment sentences to be imposed for double parking in her Witless (Essex) constituency.
Penny Mordaunt MP comes in as a surprise appointment to the newly-created Ministry for Magic Tricks - an important role that will be counted on for a Tory 'rabbit out of the hat' success at the May 2015 general election.

The ginger-mingin Scroteborough MP Tricky Nicky Morgan will be the next in line behind Pob Gove's desk at the Education Ministry - and doubtless bring to the table her priceless 'singular' experience of working in mergers and acquisitions - a definite plus for the profit-motivated PFI-run Asbo academy institutions that seem to be springing up and infesting the education scene like railway embankment weeds.

So, the anointed cop for a £67,505 quid cabinet position boost to their ridiculous £67,060 nicker per annum salaries, a grand total of £134,565 quid (plus House of Conmans / Parliamentary expenses) - while the ousted factor lose out on the same amount of filthy lucre.

As per the odds-on forecast by Flatbrokes, the UK's ubiquitous High Street bookies, conspicuous note is taken that none of the Eton-suckled / Oxford-weaned Bullingdon Vandals Club membership - some of the most disastrous sets of incompetent, meddling fingers in government - have gotten the hoof.

So, plenty of useless twats out in this latest 'musical chairs' fiasco, but the place is still infested with a plethora of snotty public school upper class dog wankers who view the electorate with contempt - such as the obnoxious DWP Secretary, Iain Dunkin-Shit and equally-arrogant Oliver 'Bin It' Letwin. One billiard ball bald and the other sporting a ridiculous Sesame Street Bert n Ernie hairstyle. Really, do these tossers not possess bathroom mirrors?

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area and whilst purposely blending slanderous comments and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour and hard facts, may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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