Paterson Pushes GMOs on Faulty Science

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Pursuing a promo line obviously approved by Posh Dave Scameron and the Downing Street mandarins, the Con-Dem coalition’s Defra Minister, the intellectually-challenged Owen ‘Cobblers’ Paterson (Tory MP for Slopshire) today enthralled gutter press media hacks with his carnival barker ‘snake oil’ enthusiasm for Big Agri’s Frankenfood crops – pontificating to every fucker and their dog – and anyone else who paused in mid-step to listen to his unqualified propaganda - that using Monsanto’s genetically-modified seeds to improve harvest yields will require less space – hence propitiously freeing up more greenfield land for Tory Party donors and banksters to build top end executive ‘stockbroker belt’ housing developments on.

So, what game is the bovine-brained Farmer Owen playing, might we inquire? Perhaps another ego massaging exercise, regardless of the faulty science involved and the rest of the world – and the EUSSR in Brussels in particular – telling the Big Six Horsemen of the Apocalypse agrichemical Bio-Wreckers: Monsanto, Syngenta, BASF, Dow Agrosciences, Bayer – who unscrupulously continue to produce the #1 bee colony decimating neo-nicotinoid pesticide Bumble-Snuffer - and Pioneer – (aka the much-vilified DuPont) – the very same people who gave the Vietnamese Agent Orange – to stuff their toxic DNA-modified insta-tumour mutant meal crops.

Or is Owen out to secure some nice, cosy and well-remunerated directorship sinecure with one of the Big Agri’ majors – all ready to slot into the boardroom seat when his £142,000 plus expenses per annum cabinet post goes tits up after the Nasty Party get hoofed out of office come the 2015 General Election?

Whatever, his unqualified arrogance reaches fresh obnoxious heights as he turns into one of Big Agri’s GMO shills and sermonises to the British public to support and buy Frankenfoods - and eat lots of Syngenta’s Golden Rice 2 or we’re all going to starve and go blind.

Paterson – really – would any fucker (or their dog) – buy a used car from this twat, let alone believe all his hyper-promotion waffle of genetically-modified crops? One wonders what they’re using to tug Cobbler Owen’s leash and commit treason against the interests of the public he was elected to office to represent the ‘best interests’ of - blackmail or the tried and tested thirty pieces of silver?

The reason Posh Dave Scameron gave him the rural / farming portfolio, not only as the rest of the cabinet didn’t want to be turning up at Parliament in a pair of wellies and stinking of cowshit – but the fact Owen fitted in with all the other vegetables - having the IQ of a small potted plant.

While one has to feel sorry for his Slopshire constituents – especially the stupid cunts who voted Tory and elected the moron to his House of Conmans seat - Farmer Owen has never made a secret of his support for GM technology – even though it displays him as an untrustworthy, devious wanker and all-round prick, catering to the interests of Big Agri and their GMO Frankencrops.

Paterson conspicuously avoids all mention and reference to Monsanto & Co’s controversial ‘Terminator’ seeds and cross-pollination contamination of ‘natural’ crops – nor the nasty Glyphosate pesticides, or the Insta-Tumour / Mutant Meals carcinogenic genetically-modified crap that gets not only into insect, fish and animal DNA but also the human side of things – and makes a total fuck of the entire food chain.

Speaking to Ron Scrote from the Euthanasia Gazette in favour of GM crops, Paterson said they were being adopted by the rest of the known Universe – and the UK and Europe risked being left behind - which is a fucking lie – only the stooge US of A have been blackmailed / bribed into approving GMOs and Barky Obama issuing a blanket legal indemnity to this Big Six should their crops inflict the predicted neurological / immune system damage to humans and cause a swathe of cancers on the scale of a mass extinction level event.

Doomsayers from Green groups such as Save the Earth and Kunt Watch besides, Paterson, in typical aloof Tory tosspot fashion, throws ethical and ecological concerns to the vagaries of the four winds and claims “Genetically-modified Frankenfoods are as safe, proven and beneficial as nuclear power – and if you don’t believe me, ask the residents of Fuckupshima in Japan.”

Safe? Safe, my arse – Farmer Owen’s information has been spoon fed and is all based on faulty science. Just like the University of East Anglia’s global warming data – conjured and manipulated to fit the profile the IPCC and carbon credits cap n trade exchange banksters desired – and it’s the same with Big Agri’s Frankenfood crops.

Oh, doubtless the likes of our Greedy Grocer supermarket chains – Pestco, Pukesburys, Mammon & Snobfords and Shiteland – will stick any old crap on their shelves that this poxy government okays for human consumption.

But our crops and agricultural systems have ‘evolved’ over the past 10,000 years-plus and there is no ‘quick fix’ genetic modification to any fucking thing.
Lesson One: Boasts and bullshit science besides, we do not understand the first fucking thing about genetic linking and are set to create all manner of Dr Moreau style chimeras – such as bio-fuel psycho Triffids with a higher IQ than Patersons – which won’t be hard.

Thought for the day. Only two commercial GM products have so far been licensed, and neither of them was for human consumption. One was a type of soy-based enema solution called Bowel-Douche developed by German agri-chemical firm BASF and used to treat cases of chronic constipation in pigs.

But rumour has it that old Etonian cum failed 11-plus maths duffer / Tory Chancellor ‘Geoff’ Osborn is all ready to deal out a few choice taxpayer-funded ‘subsidies’ for Cobbler Owen’s Big Agri’ pals – c/o the Rothshite bankster crime syndicate’s Insolvency Venture Capital group. Just a matter of implementing a spot of sleight of hand legislation to okay widespread GM crop plantings across the length and breadth of our once-sceptred isle before the House of Conmans summer recess.

Regardless, fuck the Big Six Bio-Wrecking environmental pillagers who control three-quarters of the global agrochemical market – and for whom profit comes first and don’t give a flying fuck about the long-term future of the environment – or the human race.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.