Monday, 17 November 2008

French 'Virgin' Ruling Reversed on Appeal

A French court of appeal has overruled the decision to annul the marriage of two Muslims because the bride had lied about being a virgin.

Fatima Ras al-Slapper had married Ratchit al Haj bin Wankin in a Kandahar-style Muslim wedding ceremony in the summer of 2006, after making a pre-nuptial statement that she had never been kissed or touched by another man.

Under the archaic and shop-worn Napoleonic French civil code a marriage can be annulled if a spouse has lied about an "essential quality" of the marital relationship.

Lawyer Marcel de Merde, representing Mr. bin Wankin, explained to priapic court reporters “Essential quality in this case referred not only to the absence of the bride’s vaginal hymen but also her practiced ability to deep throat nine inches of erect penis and swallow semen by the quart. The fact her anal sphincter was in a worse state than an end of season soccer ball bladder didn’t help matters either.”

Miss al-Slapper, a Saudi Arabian national who absconded her restrictive lifestyle and studies at the Sorbonne’s Muslims for Mary College to pursue the freedom and attractions of Paris’ Left Bank culture, became a member of the Moulin Rouge’s celebrated Betty and the Bitchlets pole dancing troupe.
Following the avant garde lifestyle to each extreme, she succumbed to the joys of lesbian love while attending a live Montmartre sex show starring Sapphie Dildodo and her Strapon Sisters.
Next on the pathway to total depravity were the trans-sexual BD/SM orgies where she became a three-holer and practiced jism monkey for her shemale Dominatrices.

Mr. al Haj bin Wankin told the court “All was okay until the wedding night, when Fatima stripped off her crotchless burkha, straddled my face and gave me a golden shower. It was only then I first saw her Goth genital piercings. She became very aroused during our initial love-making session and demanded I shag her in the ass and fist her pussy. Then she took me in her mouth, all nine inches, balls included and still managed to give me a prostate massage with her tongue. I was most shocked and disgusted and suffered several bouts of premature ejaculation.”

Cross-examined by Ms. Al-Slapper’s attorney about hypocrisy on his part concerning pre-marital virginity, Mr. bin Wankin swore he had never had sex with an actual woman before his marriage, with the exception of a pre-op’ ladyboy while on vacation in Bangkok, and the odd goat or three.

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