Friday, 15 July 2022

Ardern Tells Kiwi Al Fresco Crappers ‘Bag It!’

The ex-Tony Bliar Labour Party gopher, now elevated to the post of 40th Slime Minister of New Zealand, crypto-fascist Jacinda ‘Piranha Fangs’ Ardern, has come under a wave of socio-political pressure to enact First World ‘civilised’ progressive style legislation that will penalise feral citizens from shitting in the streets and public park ‘beauty spots’ (sic), municipal ponds and pristine waterways.

The current law states that any fucker who suffers a touch of ‘taken short’ belly ache after scoffing down a spicy plate of emu steak at their al fresco barbie cookout can go poo-poo in a public place if the nearest municipal toilet is more than a linear mile walk distant – (just wait for the bonkers bit) – as long as they are not being watched.

Now for the even dafter bit. Persons who are unable to provide a reasonable explanation for thinking they were ‘not being watched’ (by some pervy, onanist voyeur – or Cack Warden?) could face a fine of up to $200 bucks – especially so if they are caught washing their bum in a parkland koi carp reflecting pool or wiping their ass on an itinerant kiwi or koala.

While it’s a certainty ‘Jaws’ Ardern ain’t never gonna win any top beauty awards – or get an invite to join MENSA, she is certainly bestowed with other ‘honours’ worthy of a New World Order stooge – for obeying the Great Reset / Build Back Worse / Green Deal climate change hoax agenda to the letter.

In the midst of the wicked Wuhan 400 Covid-1984 coronavirus scamdemic, New Zealand zoologist Stevie Trewick named the flightless 'Weta' (cricket) species, Hemiandrus jacinda, in honour of Ardern – plus she has a beetle, Mecodema jacinda; along with a lichen, Ocellularia jacinda-arderniae; and also an ant, Crematogaster jacinda, indigenous to the barbarian-infested Kingdom of Saudi Arabia - all named after her.

Now that’s simply gotta be listed ‘tops’ on academia’s personal Immortality scale.

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/jacinda-ardern-under-pressure-to-bring-in-more-control-measures-as-calls-grow-for-stricter-toilet-laws/339039

Wednesday, 13 July 2022

Which Tory ‘Hopeful’ Will Pledge NHS Dentistry?

Bad Teeth Britain – Home to the NHS (No Hope Service) ‘Dogshit Class Dentistry’.

Okay, these leadershit contenders – and their House of Conmans Tory MP cronies - don’t give a flying fuck viz NHS dentists - as they can afford to go private on their taxpayer funded salaries – but it would be nice if they considered the needs of the no-so well-off / inflation-stricken / toothache-suffering public that voted them into high government office.

To wit, has a single one of these wankers even given a passing thought to sorting out the broken NHS dentistry service - a system in crisis? Of course not. Such empathic thought is the last thing on their personal narcissistic ego-massaging agendas. The twats expect, if not demand, deference from lesser mortals, and claim to be above, and beyond, censure and reproach.

So, never mind pledging to do this or that or the fucking other. They wanna get picked for the top job? Then sort out the NHS dentistry fubar – make a publicly-broadcast commitment to correct the disgraceful state of Broken Britain’s equally broken NHS Dentistry system - (which once worked well enough to the point of wider public satisfaction) - and that will nigh-on guarantee the greater common herd embrace of their appointment to the top job.

One solution to 'persuading' dentists to accept NHS patients is to revoke the licences of the greedy bastards to practice 'oral medicine' – for dentistry surely comes under that banner – if they refuse to comply and take on NHS patients and continue servicing only private ‘paying’ clientele.

As to the Tory leadershit hopeful's 'Pledges':

Braverman: Pledge to withdraw from the European Convention on Human Rights n commit Food Bank Britain to police state fascism.

Truss: Take up the fallen banner of Iron Lady Slaggie Twatcher.

Zahawi: Economic transformation / slash NHS funding – everyone’s gonna be poor – apart from him n his secret society cronies.

Hunt: Re-join the EUSSR.

Badenoch: Clueless - but means well.

Major-General Tommy Tugendhat: Run Britain on military discipline basis – court martials for dissing government policy.

Sunak: Borrow even more money from Shitzerland's Basel-based Bank of International Debt.

Mordaunt: A social-liberalism drive ‘and’ a daily rum ration for die-hard Tory voters.

Well, little wonder our once-sceptred isle is more fucked up than a soup sandwich. Money for illegal immigrants. Money for weapons for the Ukraine. In fact, money for every fucker n their dog – apart from the cash-strapped and over-taxed Brits who can’t afford private medical care – and specifically private dental treatment - as incompetent governments past have made a total fuck of the once-stellar NHS dental service - by licencing these greedy, grabbing cunts to go private and refuse any and all NHS dental work to the less fortunate / poorer – and old age pensioner - contingents of our society.

The Tory Nasty Party – continuing with the fucked-up NHS policies of their New Labour predecessors – would sooner get involved in foreign military misadventures – (Afghanistan / Iraq / Ukraine) – than organise an efficient NHS dental service.

If these greedy, grasping dentists want to emulate the good ole US of A dentistry culture model n only do mega-bucks £££ $$$ private work, so they can afford to venture off on annual safaris to Africa n slaughter big game, all well n good – then cancel their licences to practice if they refuse to accept 50% NHS patients.

Really, Tory or Labour or Lib-Dums – or the Greenie wankers – they’re of one collective mind to take on the Russian Bear in a proxy street fight in Ukraine, but haven’t got the nuance to organise a decent dental service for their tax-paying ‘voter’ citizens.

So all yer caries-ridden teeth have rotted away to stumps, thanks to the total lack of couldn’t give a flying fuck attitude of successive governments and NHS Trust wankers – but if yer want a sex change on the NHS just tick the box below – for this very same not fit for purpose NHS fuck-up is preparing to offer female-to-male transgender surgery - 'for free' - in the coming months of 2022.

London’s leading Chelsea and Westminster Hospital has been commissioned by the NHS to recruit a Gender Affirmation Surgery Pathway Coordinator to implement clinical strategies and conduits to provide masculinizing surgical treatment for patients with gender dysphoria.

Grrrrr, growls he, shaking head in utter disgust – low income families and basic rate state pensioners can’t get their teeth fixed - or a set of dentures to chew food with - on the NHS – but over-17 girls who would prefer to be boys can have their snatch converted into a cock – and for free too. 

And the gullible public were egged on to bang pans n pots n applaud the NHS throughout the entire two-year Covid-1984 scamdemic deception lockdowns?

Time for some hardcore ‘ballot box retribution’.

penny.mordaunt.mp@parliament.uk;

suella.braverman.mp@parliament.uk;

rishi.sunak.mp@parliament.uk;

elizabeth.truss.mp@parliament.uk;

kemi.badenoch.mp@parliament.uk;

nadhim.zahawi.mp@parliament.uk;

nadhim@zahawi.com;

tom.tugendhat.mp@parliament.uk;

huntj@parliament.uk;

altsale@parliament.uk;

office@altsale.org;

publiccorrespondence@cabinetoffice.gov.uk;

Public.Enquiries@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk;

dexeu.correspondence@cabinetoffice.gov.uk;

... and the New Labour wankers take scrupulous note too – cos this might be your strategic ploy for electoral success - and one morally elevated than flashing their ginger mingin growler for the opposition party speaker at the Dispatch Box.

leader@labour.org.uk;

keir.starmer.mp@parliament.uk;

angela.rayner.mp@parliament.uk;

Ergo, if this was a Mental Health crisis, with nutcases upgrading the definition of galloping lunacy, then our not fit for purpose let’s Party government would be initiating and funding all manner of corrective medical action programmes, but as it’s a ‘Dental Health’ crisis then they adopt a Marie Antoinette style approach to the common herd’s toothless condition: ‘If they can’t chew Wagyu steaks, then let them eat soup’.

Tuesday, 12 July 2022

Snottingham Recruit Dog Shit Stasi

Snottingham council wankers have adopted a legally questionable Minority Report style ‘predictive policing’ strategy - to spot fine dog walkers for deliberate acts of ‘unpreparedness’ - even if their pooch doesn’t take a crap.

Yep, nasty Nottingham – once home to the ultra-charitable Merry Men of Sherwood Forest, led by the magnanimous Robin Hoodie, who fleeced the rich and gave to the poor.

However, Snottingham’s Rushcliffe borough council have decided to sort of ‘modify’ the now non-binary Merry ‘Persons’ of Sherwood methods and rob dog walkers of £100 quid for not adopting a Boy Scout style ‘Be Prepared’ practice and being equipped with a shit shovel, surgical gloves, bog roll and crap bags – on the off chance Fido decided the middle of the pavement – or bowling green – is an ideal place to evacuate his bowels.

And for these moronic council bureaucraps that’s the name of the revenue-raking ‘extortion’ game - fining some hapless dog walker when no crime has been committed - and Fido never even farted.

Ergo, if Snottingham’s ‘dogshit wardens’ are of a similar breed to the morons hired by local authorities as PCSOs then they’ll be power-crazed onanists – the control freak micro-fascist breed, kitted out in some official hi-viz gilet n a shiny i/d badge.

Okay, now here’s one for the virtue-signalling Wokester equalities cult to go figure. How about if a dog walker is stopped by this newly formed Gestapo Dog Shit Squad n the ‘walker’ states that the four-legged animal no longer wants to be known as Fido, but ‘identifies’ as a cat and wished to be called Tiddles.

Or, another alternative, slap the fascist twats with an outraged response of: ‘How dare you insult my canine companion! Fido is fully potty trained and uses the crapper before we go walkies – then flushes ‘and’ washes his paws after’.

How far down the common sense drain has Food Bank Britain's bureaucracy gone? Dog walkers face £100 nicker fine if they're caught without vital piece of kit – doggy toilet rolls. Okay, easy- peasy solution – shove a canine butt plug up the dog’s jacksy before taking it out for walkies.

This latest piece of bureaucrapic overreach has its origins gleaned from the public spaces protection order, and anyone walking a dog who can't prove they 'have the means' (poop scoop / cack bags) to pick up waste can be fined by council ‘Cack Wardens’ – with similar fascist diktats already being enforced in Somerset, Devonshire, Lancashire and Derbyshire.

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/dog-walkers-face-100-fine-if-theyre-caught-without-vital-piece-of-kit/335313

Tuesday, 5 July 2022

M4 Will Host World Cup 2022

 

The above pic shows footage of a trio of utterly pissed-off drivers having a kick-around with the severed head of a Fuel Price Stand Against Tax protest activist on the M4, to alleviate the boredom of being stuck in a 30-mile-long traffic queue on the approach to the Prince Big Ears Bridge across the Severn River in Somerset this morning.

 Protesters caused huge disruption between England and Welsh Wales from 7 am today as they made their irate stance against high fuel prices known to the Tory Nasty Party government and Oil Oligarchs - along with every other road user and their dog - by setting off from a range of service stations across Broken Britain and driving as slow as 30mph along 'smart' motorways – making a total bollocks of every other traveller’s day.

 

The standstill and mega-tailbacks in both directions was prompted by the shit-for-brains activists meeting in the middle of the M4’s Prince Dobby Bridge over the Severn – with video footage showing how exasperated motorists and truck drivers abandoned their vehicles and ritually murdered members of the fuel hike protest camp – then used their decapitated heads for a soccer kick-about in the opposite empty carriageway.

Monday, 4 July 2022

Tory ‘Schools Bill’ a Dystopian Shitemare

The DfE’s proposed ‘Schools Bill’ has been rejected and sent back from the Worstminster Parliament’s Upper House of Frauds dosspit to the Lower House of Conmans - with a piss-poor 1 out of 10 grading and ‘Must Try Harder’ footnote attached.

The bill is intended to morph Food Bank Britain’s centres for learning, particularly academies in England and Wales, from the world’s freest place to home educate, into one of the most restrictive and silly regulations-encumbered – with a fascist proviso to bestow the Department for Education Gestapo enforcers and local authority Stasi thugs with the legal powers to inspect living-room home education settings - and close private schools – (unless funded by, and under the aegis of, the Freemason-affiliated St Sodom’s Education Trust for Latter Day Catamites).

As proposed in its current format, the bill is crafted to force school attendance for any given child, with zero consideration for redress – and prevent the opening of new religious schools – plus block those already in existence from relocating or expanding – to keep Islamic terrorist wannabees attending the same MI5 bugged and spied-on madrassas.

Further targeted will be dodgy tutors who dare display the brazen audacity to question such common theme political correctness and Woke culture controversies as pushing trans-gender-bender reassignment propaganda – and self-identity pronouns - in the classroom – with malcontent rebels banned from teaching - even online – and, as a further slap in the face, this autocratic schools bill would carry the legal clout to coerce parents into supplying information, or surrender materials, that the High Panjandrum of Education, Zippy Zahawi, or his control freak fascist minions consider to be subversive.

In the wake of the backlash regarding the proposed Schools Bill’s ‘wholly unacceptable’ draconian provisions, and its ‘as is’ rejection by the Upper House, the piranha-fanged Academies’ Minister, Baroness Diana Barran - (a sterling example of Food Bank Britain’s fucked up NHS dentistry system – and former ‘Minister for Loneliness’ – obviously some reflection on her personal hygiene and perhaps choice of shower soap or crotch deodorant) – has conceded to scrap the entire control freak Schedule One, ‘and’ clauses One to Four, of the Bill.

The bill, in its original format, would have handed unprecedented powers to Broken Britain’s not-fit-for-purpose Education Secretary – the incumbent Nadhim ‘Stables’ Zahawi – Mr Secret Society ‘himself’ (preferred pronoun) – a person of dubious foreign origins who once had the hapless taxpayer cough up megabucks on House of Conmans expenses for his pet donkey stable’s central heating electric bill.

But here again, in Zahawi, we have yet another Tory Nasty Party politico who prompts a person to count their fingers if they’ve been coerced into shaking his grubby hand.

More of concern to parents is the air of morally superior authoritarian Wokeism so entrenched among the lefty-liberal ‘educators’ (sic) – with schools focused on confusing their immature charges with cryptic gender ambiguities, disseminating perverted sexual propaganda, and the indoctrination of a venal code of conformism.

Fortunately, the Schools Bill will now be subjected to scrupulous revision of its initial draconian content to control virtually every aspect of the running of academies, from the length of the school day to the spiritual development of pupils, to the handling of complaints – collectively a blatant attempt to centralise bureaucratic power in Shitehall over matters which are obviously far better decided by professional educators, cognisant of the needs of their schools and pupils.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka 'the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Sunday, 3 July 2022

Woke Wankers Gut Scrabble

Yep, y’all heard it right the first time around, on this morning’s radio news. Scrabble players are quitting competitive games in their droves, after 400-plus words deemed ‘offensive’ have been surgically eradicated from the permitted lexicon list.

Hmmm, strains of Hitlerian Nazi censorship. The burning of the books. The banning of offensive words.

So, these were words deemed offensive, eh? Offensive? Que? WTF? Offensive to who, actually?

Ah, society’s perennially offended drama queens, of course. The male n female variety alike – and not to overlook the rest of the all-new Linnean taxonomy gender bender categories. Trans-this n that n the other – disguising their sexual perversity and lack of grasp on reality under a camouflage of asinine pronouns - to distract from their disgusting sodomite habits – the ones our Christian faith Holy Bible refers to, in God’s own words, as an ‘abomination’ – and let’s be straight up here, who the fuck want to argue with God on this matter?

London’s hard core Scrabblers are said to be seething over the ban, introduced by Establishment games company Mattel, which players claim has resulted in bitter spats, and more than a couple of fisticuff ‘punch-ups’ – and is no more than a pathetic virtue-signalling exercise to pacify n massage the egos of middle-class whiteys and the Wokester pubic relations brigade.

Really, how fuckwittedly obnoxious can yer get - imposing so-called ‘American cultural, or moral, values’ (sic – what they?) on the world – and yer can bet yer bottom dollar that ‘grossly offensive’ terms such as Woke, Political, n Correct haven’t been exorcised from the big word bag.

Okay, time to get the Common Sense stick out of the cupboard again and give some silly twat a smack round the back of the head. Words in dictionaries and Scrabble list are not offensive slurs – and only become offensive and slurs if used with derogatory intent via a particularly disrespectful and insulting tone, or context. 

Today it is words branded offensive. Tomorrow it will be the Truth – especially any format of Truth that is composed of offensive words – and doubtless while this totalitarian 'mass formation' onslaught proceeds down its current path of politically-correct destruction the likes of Monopoly, Beetle Drives, and Chess will suffer game-changing casualties.

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/scrabble-players-quitting-competitive-game-after-400-offensive-terms-banned-from-words-list/329322

Friday, 1 July 2022

HIV-Contaminated Blood: Bad Luck

In today's Let's Kick Some Establishment Ass nasty news roundup we bring our readers the latest and greatest hot gossip topic: Political Sleaze – a timely scandalous exposé of the Establishment’s ‘Let’s Blame Bad Luck’ buck-passing culture from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – publishing, as always, 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire and parody to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% predatory paedo' elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State Sabbatean death cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.

So, a swift trip in the time machine, back to the Dark Ages era of Tory Thatcherite misrule, for any fucker n their dog who copped a transfusion of HIV / Hepatitis C contaminated blood – and was morphed into a total physical wreck – or, worse still, a coffin case – today’s ‘off the press’ media opinion of the cause of this ‘wholly unavoidable’ human tragedy fubar is ‘just bad luck’.

No shit, Sherlock, that was the official public inquiry statement from Broken Britain’s ‘incredibly stupid’ ex-Tory Nasty Party Slime Minister this week - the ultra-limp-wristed – and gaffe-cursed - John ‘Conehead’ Major - who had the brass-necked hubris to refer to the contaminated blood scandal as 'incredibly bad luck' - for those born under an ill-fated star.

Bad luck, eh. Well, that’s one way to avoid holding your hands up and admitting it was due the gross incompetence of those bureaucrap wankers charged with responsibility for overseeing public health.

Ha! T’was our once-sceptred isle’s ‘incredibly bad luck’ to get landed with this cunt Major as a replacement for the odious Slaggie Twatcher – and remembered by many as the worst joke of a Slime Minister since the last worst joke of a Slime Minister.

But while on the subject of ‘incredibly bad luck, how about casting a critical and censorious eye on the ‘incredibly bad management’ by the No Hope Service n the government officials n bureaucraps charged with responsibility for overseeing the greater public health and welfare – such as that slack-arsed old fudger, Ken ‘Groper’ Clarke?

 3,000-plus hapless NHS guinea pig patients contracted HIV and Hepatitis C in the 1970s and 80s ‘Operation Roadkill’ - after receiving infected blood from the National Ill-Health System – ‘to help with blood clotting issues’ – a fuck-up that was the harbinger of death for thousands of ‘incredibly unlucky patients’ and the biggest NHS treatment disasters since the Black Death and Thalidomide.

This Factor VIII was a therapy designed to help blood clot complications and imported from the good ole US of A - where it was transformed into plasma, distilled from the pooled blood of thousands of individual Haitian illegal immigrant scallies, drug addicts, career sodomites, prison inmates and other groups at risk from nasty lifestyle blood-borne viruses - who were, more often than not, in receipt of Big Pharma $$$ to donate.

The public inquiry into the scandal, chaired by Establishment Freemason, Sir Brian Longstork, commenced taking evidence in April 2019, with hearings in Belfast, Cardiff, Edinburgh, Leeds, London, and Rwanda - and is expected to publish its final report sometime around mid-2035.

Questions have been asked viz WTF the government knew – and is now hiding – concerning the risks of the blood treatments, and whether patients were given sufficient warnings viz “Would you sooner die of a blood clot induced stroke – or HIV or Hepatitis C”? – to which the Tory Ill-Health Minister 1982 / 85 and Ill-Health Sickretary from1988 / 90 – Lord Ken ‘Groper’ Clarke - (a dipshit wanker who couldn’t tell the Truth even if he hasn’t a lie ready) - was the first to deny any, and all, responsibility for the contaminated blood scandal snafu.

Clarke, served today by the fortuitous, albeit corrupt, advantage of ‘watch yer arse’ hindsight, now claims he was pre-occupied concentrating on the proposed NHS-funded transgender surgery portfolio – and it was not conclusively proven that HIV / AIDs could be transmitted through blood products – regardless of the ‘in yer face’ blatant fact that officials were aware of an alarming stream of deaths linked to the Factor VIII blood plasma treatment.

Conversely, despite further documented warnings from leading disease expert types at London’s prestigious Imperial College’s Computer Modelling Guesstimates department, and the Harold Shipman Centre for Medical Excellence viz the risks of importing HIV-infected blood plasma from the US, the clot-brained membershit of the Committee on the Safety of Medicines concluded in July 1983 that as an alternative supply to the US-sourced Factor VIII blood plasma did not exist then they would have to continue importing the 50/50 ‘Russian roulette’ chance HIV / Hepatitis-contaminated blood - due pressures from the Big Pharma profit motive driven lobbyists haunting the corridors of the NHS and Parliament.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka 'the Truth'

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.