Tory ‘Schools Bill’ a Dystopian Shitemare

The DfE’s proposed ‘Schools Bill’ has been rejected and sent back from the Worstminster Parliament’s Upper House of Frauds dosspit to the Lower House of Conmans - with a piss-poor 1 out of 10 grading and ‘Must Try Harder’ footnote attached.

The bill is intended to morph Food Bank Britain’s centres for learning, particularly academies in England and Wales, from the world’s freest place to home educate, into one of the most restrictive and silly regulations-encumbered – with a fascist proviso to bestow the Department for Education Gestapo enforcers and local authority Stasi thugs with the legal powers to inspect living-room home education settings - and close private schools – (unless funded by, and under the aegis of, the Freemason-affiliated St Sodom’s Education Trust for Latter Day Catamites).

As proposed in its current format, the bill is crafted to force school attendance for any given child, with zero consideration for redress – and prevent the opening of new religious schools – plus block those already in existence from relocating or expanding – to keep Islamic terrorist wannabees attending the same MI5 bugged and spied-on madrassas.

Further targeted will be dodgy tutors who dare display the brazen audacity to question such common theme political correctness and Woke culture controversies as pushing trans-gender-bender reassignment propaganda – and self-identity pronouns - in the classroom – with malcontent rebels banned from teaching - even online – and, as a further slap in the face, this autocratic schools bill would carry the legal clout to coerce parents into supplying information, or surrender materials, that the High Panjandrum of Education, Zippy Zahawi, or his control freak fascist minions consider to be subversive.

In the wake of the backlash regarding the proposed Schools Bill’s ‘wholly unacceptable’ draconian provisions, and its ‘as is’ rejection by the Upper House, the piranha-fanged Academies’ Minister, Baroness Diana Barran - (a sterling example of Food Bank Britain’s fucked up NHS dentistry system – and former ‘Minister for Loneliness’ – obviously some reflection on her personal hygiene and perhaps choice of shower soap or crotch deodorant) – has conceded to scrap the entire control freak Schedule One, ‘and’ clauses One to Four, of the Bill.

The bill, in its original format, would have handed unprecedented powers to Broken Britain’s not-fit-for-purpose Education Secretary – the incumbent Nadhim ‘Stables’ Zahawi – Mr Secret Society ‘himself’ (preferred pronoun) – a person of dubious foreign origins who once had the hapless taxpayer cough up megabucks on House of Conmans expenses for his pet donkey stable’s central heating electric bill.

But here again, in Zahawi, we have yet another Tory Nasty Party politico who prompts a person to count their fingers if they’ve been coerced into shaking his grubby hand.

More of concern to parents is the air of morally superior authoritarian Wokeism so entrenched among the lefty-liberal ‘educators’ (sic) – with schools focused on confusing their immature charges with cryptic gender ambiguities, disseminating perverted sexual propaganda, and the indoctrination of a venal code of conformism.

Fortunately, the Schools Bill will now be subjected to scrupulous revision of its initial draconian content to control virtually every aspect of the running of academies, from the length of the school day to the spiritual development of pupils, to the handling of complaints – collectively a blatant attempt to centralise bureaucratic power in Shitehall over matters which are obviously far better decided by professional educators, cognisant of the needs of their schools and pupils.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka 'the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.