Kind-hearted King Dobby, soon to be crowned the ‘Monarch’ of our once-sceptred, and sacred, Isle of Albion, has bestowed upon his wet rag of a younger brother, (the real thick one) Edward - he of the double figures IQ - with the currently-vacant – albeit synonymous - title of the late Greek-born, Hitlerian Nazi-fascist-applauding Prince Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg – and, as a 59th birthday pressie, today becomes the one n only Duke of ‘Edinburgh’ (crapital of up-north 'Men in Skirts' Nonceland).
Prince Eddy – an unlucky 13th in line to the throne of our ever-diminishing Anglo-Saxon Kingdom, and currently addressed, in formal circles, when shopping at the local Pestco Greedy Grocer supermarket for his favourite Spam fritters, as the Earl of Wessex – is, truth be known - like his fuckups-plagued elder brother, Prince Andrew of Porchester - yet another ‘cuckoo in the royal nest - due Philip rightfully cuckolded one again – in Edward’s case by Baron Paddy Plunket, KCVO, Equerry to QE II – the Deputy Master of the Royal Household - and Queen Lizzie’s favourite ‘bit-on-the-side’ (after Henry Herbert – aka ‘Porchy’) - when husband Philip was supposed to be ‘messing around in boats’ with Uffa Fox – and instead of ‘sailing n tacking Bluebottle’ in the Baltic, was off screwing around Europe with flighty actress types.
Hopefully Eddy baby is presented with a copy of the Good Manners Handbook to accompany the title, and doesn’t morph into the rude and obnoxious wanker that Phil the Greek, the last Duke of Edinburgh, was notorious for.
Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.
This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.
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