Harry and Meghan Hewitt’s old Windsor Park 10 bedroom residence, Freddie Frog Cottage, a Grade-II listed property in the grounds of Windsor Castle, has been offered to Prince Andy Pandy in place of his 31-bedroom Royal Lodge hideaway, in Windsor Great Park – a 98 acre property currently valued at £30 million quid – give or take a few hundred thousand ££££££.
For the record, in 2020, Frogspawn Cottage was described as a 5,089 sq ft four bedroom and nursery, four bathrooms and crappers, single-residence Grade-II listed house.
Prior to the recent taxpayer-funded £2:5 zillion quid renovations, it had 10 bedrooms. During renovations not just one – but ‘two’ orangeries, an indoor vegetable garden, and a ‘padded walls’ studio - to facilitate Harry and Meghan’s head-banging temper tantrum fits - were also added.
The Duke &
Duchess of Sussex - who now live in California with their ginger-mingin kids,
after quitting life as full time royal parasites in 2020 - were reportedly served
with an eviction notice and ordered to remove any and all personal items – and hand
over the keys to the property, immediately - if not sooner - by Fuckingham
Palace officials in January – auspiciously on the day following the publication
of Hopeless Harry’s back-stabbing, seismic fractures, scathing attacks, viral
nonsense bio-memoir, Spam – viewed by ‘the King’ as an ultimate act of
disrespect, that also targeted his wife, Queen Gorgonzilla.
Further
to the above rumours, the gospel according to one gutter press report in the
Daily Shitraker, as payback for the fragrant acts of calumny against the senior
Royals - the money-grubbing
Harry n Meghan – (now exposed for all as a pair of in-yer-face, grasping Faganites
– with whatever semblance of scruples they might have once possessed, thrown to
the vagaries of the Four Winds, and out to rake in the spondoolicks, via the sleaziest,
egregious method that pays the most) - were
personally handed the eviction notice on a silver platter at their Golden State
Montecito 'Castle Hewitt' mansion by none other than Fuckingham Palace’s
official Royal Bailiff & Swan Strangler, Sir Garfield McNonce – with the
‘ouster’ document bearing King Chazzer’s personal ‘Royal X’ signature and seal.
Recent
leaked reports, backed up by a host of unsubstantiated rumours and wild gossip,
suggest Food Bank Britain’s all-new monarch, King Chaz’ the Third, has kick
started his rule 'full of piss n vinegar', as the Yanks might phrase it – by
shit-canning Harry’s position as a Councillor of State – and intends to
exchange a ‘stranglehold’ garrotting wire for the royal purse’s silken strings
– and slash Prince Andy's sole sovereign grant income - which could leave the
unemployed wastrel unable to afford his present home's running costs.
Conversely, spoiled brat-twat Andy, the mediocre Duke of Pork, is said to be resisting the offer of this ‘smaller’ property – a ‘cottage’ with less than 10 bedrooms – compared to his current £30 million quid-valued Royal Lodge’s extravagant 31 en-suites.
Fer fuck’s sake – just think how many illegal Channel-crossing foreign migrants and economic asylum seekers the Border Force might cram into the Royal Lodge – doubled-up n cosy - in 31-plus antique four-poster beds?
Andrew, whose indolent lifestyle over recent years, has been confined to influence peddling and pocketing mega-bucks ‘fixer’ kickbacks, stepped down as a working royal in 2019 in the wake of the catastrophic Newshite lie-infested television interview viz allegations that he had sexually assaulted Virginia Roberts Giuffre – one of Jeffrey Eplslime’s underage sex slaves – and in ridiculous slapstick comedy fashion, proclaiming he only breaks out in a sweat when facing, mano a mano style, some Argentinian marine in a do or die knife fight on a Falkland Islands beach.
In February 2022, Andy forked out an undisclosed sum (£5,000,000 quid) – borrowed out of Mummy’s small change jar - to settle the civil sexual assault case Ms Giuffre brought against him in the good ole US of A – while still maintaining the deceit he has never even met her, let alone was photographed for posterity, with his arm around her – nor used her as a three-hole sex toy while staying with Epslime’s Madam-in-Chief, Ghislaine Maxwell – wayward daughter of Jan Ludvik Hoch – aka Cap’t Bob, aka the notorious Bouncing Czech media tycoon, pension fund pillager, and orthodox Jewish Mossad gopher; Robert Maxwell.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64812549
Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.
This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.
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