Sunday 26 June 2022

Sturgeon Ridiculed for Witchcraft Pardons Act

Hoots mon, what a distraction scam of the Nth Degree of Political Deception by the Scottish Nonce Protectors Party leader, Knickerless Sturgeon – fronting a Holyrood Parliament ‘Members Bill’ to legally ‘pardon’ thousands of Scots broomstick merchants convicted of witchcraft some 300-plus years ago.

Conversely, it’s one way to distract the common herd from their burgeoning inflation anxiety - and the national rail strikes - and having to queue up at airports for two days to catch a holiday flight to anywhere – if it’s not cancelled due the fact the pilot refused the Covid-1984 mRNA vax.

This piece of political grandstanding follows in the wake of a posthumous apology from SNP Worst Minister Sturgeon – (herself rumoured to be a broomstick pilot and adept of the black arts, with a legion of voodoo dolls of her political adversaries – including Alex ‘Porky Pict’ Salmond - nailed to the walls of her Holyrood coven den) - on International Women’s Day in March 2022, to those convicted, vilified, and / or executed in ‘Third World’ Nonceland under the Mary, Queen of Scots, ordained Witchcraft Act of 1563.

Records scribbled on a Loch McNonce cave wall with charcoal embers dating back to the Middle Ages, suggest around 4,000 Scots were accused of the ‘crime of witchcraft’ - and being in league with the Devil – a law in force until 1736 – (when repealed during the common fucking sense early reign years of George II) - with around 85 percent of those convicted through trial by fire and ducking stool sessions identifying as females of the species – and a mixed bag of some 2,500 convicted of breaking the law and casting noxious spells on their neighbours and / or their crops and / or cattle – and / or invoking ‘climate change spells’ - by cursing the skies with ‘a dowry of parmy’ (months of heavy rain).

While Jimmy Krankie’s ugly bug sister, Nicola is being rightly mocked for her support of this bill, which could see thousands of Scots scallies - convicted of witchcraft - pardoned after 300 years, the muddled Member’s Bill to “right the historic wrong of witchcraft convictions” and give legal pardons to those convicted, has been launched by Natalie Don, the SNP’s member for Renfrewshire - on behalf of the Witches of Scotland campaign group.

Nasty rumours abound that any members of the Scottish Parliament discovered withholding support for, or voting against, the passage of the members bill, will be cursed by a plague of boils are being dismissed as Scottish Conservative & Unionist propaganda, concocted by party leader, Dimwit Dougie Ross.

Hmmm, one ponders if the Wee Nippy Sturgeon will take a further break from her Indyref2 obsession vanity project, and be handing down a pardon to the recently-jailed SNP MP, Natalie ‘Sticky Fingers’ McGarry - a former graduate of Granite City's prestigious Satoshi Nakamoto Institute for Advanced Corruption - for embezzling some £25,000 quid in political funds - and thus avoid running the risk of a Glassie East by-election where the hapless voters might prefer to cross their ballot paper for a candidate of a more honest political party.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka 'the Truth.

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