Shitty Priti Patel: Zionist Spy Axed

In today's ‘Tory Treason Party’ exposé edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering political treachery news from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into razor-edged bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Oh, but a mere few days ago, Shitty Pritty Patel's future as international development secretary – or even a member of the Tory Party- was understood to be increasingly uncertain amid a row over her acts of self-interest conduct during visits to the rogue, apartheid state of Israel.

While Patel apologised for meeting with Israel's clinically insane PM Bobo Nuttyahoo last August - without informing the Foreign Office in advance – or post event – shit-stirring elements of the Labour Party smelled scandal and blood then started baying for an inquiry into whether Shitty Priti repeatedly breached the statutes of the ministerial code – much as Labour's untouchable war criminal Teflon Tony Bliar did when he declared war on Iraq based on a web of concocted 'dodgy dossier' lies.

The Biased Broadcasting Corp's political editor, 'Livid Laura' Kuntsberg recently voiced an unqualified personal opinion that Patel and her ministerial career were 'up shitcreek without a paddle' as fresh scandalous gossip regarding unofficial meetings was posted by insider snitches on the internet and Twitter networks.

The Gutter Press Association reported that No 10 had demanded Patel "come clean" over other covert meetings she had with Israeli politicians – a fact she's still trying to remain shtum over.

Patel had been under growing pressure since it emerged she held meetings with a series of senior Israeli government and anti-BDS campaign business figures while on a private lobbying vacation in Israel last August – with the only diplomats present being Israeli – albeit Shitty Priti has attempted to toss a mitigating spanner in the censorship works by claiming she was accompanied by dual nationality pro-Zionist Nasty Party peer, Lord Polecat - president of the Conservative Shills for Israel Club.

Patel was forced to correct the record last week over lying through her dental implants regarding the number of secret meetings she had attended with Israeli politicos - and questioned as to why the fuck the Foreign Office had not been forewarned about them.

She later admitted it had been wrong to suggest (lie) to a Daily Shitraker hack that Foreign Secretary Bonkers Boris Nonsense knew of the trip in advance - when he only learnt of it post-event - while actually reading a copy of the Shitraker.

Hmmm, all the hindsight pundit comments now emerge. Of course the Foreign Office were aware of WTF Shitty Priti was up to in Jewtopia – if not then MI6 wouldn't be doing their jobs of spying on the treacherous and unpatriotic antics of such sneaky, immigrant status shitbags.

Earlier in the week it emerged that upon her return from the rogue Zionist state, following covert discussions with the country's clinically insane leader, Bobo Nuttyahoo, Patel requested the Foreign Office to consider supporting 'humanitarian operations' (sic) conducted by the Israeli army in Syria's illegally-occupied Golan Heights - a request that was turned down as 'what the fuck?' inappropriate by civil service mandarins.

During a blatant House of Conmans damage control speech, Foreign Office gopher Alistair Burt opened gob before engaging brain, stating that - in his unqualified and equally uninformed opinion - Downing Street regarded the 'agent of an enemy state' accusations levelled against Patel as closed after Shitty Priti claimed – again falsely - (for fuck's sake, can this slut not tell the difference between a lie and the truth?) – she'd had her wrist smacked by PM Terry Mayhem and reminded of her obligations under the ministerial code.

Conversely, addressing the Slime Monster directly, Labour's shadow cabinet office minister Jon Boy Ricketty called on Mayhem to either direct her independent adviser on ministerial standards to investigate Patel's treasonous acts, or state publicly the reasons why Patel retained her confidence and had not been sacked.

"Not only did she not tell the Foreign Office directly, so far as I'm aware the British Embassy in Israel was also wholly unaware that this shit was going down behind their backs. It's not just a question of courtesy but one with a definite focus on subterfuge and political espionage."

Labour's Kate 'Dingbat' Cassowary added to Ricketty's condemnations, stating for the Hansard record that Patel's excuses and mitigations equated as a pick n mix bag of black and white lies, with the ministerial code being treated like shithouse paper – and further opined that she should do the decent thing and resign – and not slope off to Darkest Africa on some other money-grubbing scam until things cooled down at home.

Alistair Burt responded that Broken Britain's foreign policy had not changed as a result of Patel's private lobbying trip - and was still as fucked up as ever – with pro-Zionist Israeli lobbyists having more control over British political decisions and foreign policy than Parliament's MPs.

Answering charges that Patel was a low life Israeli agent provocateur for attempting to divert the UK's foreign aid budget to the Israeli army, Burt defended Patel's legitimate right to raise the matter – as such was within the context of providing medical help for Syrian rebels who could not get medical assistance in their own country – apart from a government body bag.

Though the truth of that story lies with the Israeli Haaretz gutter press tabloid who reported that during August she visited an Israeli military field hospital in the Golan Heights treating a pick n mix assemblage of Syrian rebels and head-chopping ISIS Caliphate crazies wounded in Russian air attacks.

Yet as Britain did not officially recognise Israel's illegal 1967 annexation of the Golan Heights – same as the rest of the world and the United Nations - it would be hard to convince UK taxpayers of the charitable act status of their money being squandered on healing Jolly Jihad terrorists.

However International Trade Secretary Liam Pox, interviewed on the Beeb's Andrew 'Bat Ears' Marr's Treachery Hour programme, stated it was not in any way forbidden for UK politicos to speak to the prime minister of another country without telling the foreign secretary – as he and his 'good friend' Adam Qwerty had done in a series of covert meetings with the racist Israeli regime – prior to them both getting a good bitch slapping and his own arse fired for the very same treasonous antics Shitty Priti Patel has been pulling.

Beeb correspondent Laura Kuntsberg claims Israel-based UK diplomats first became aware of Patel's lobbying visit in August when the Knesset opposition leader, O’chel Batachat, first tweeted about their meeting:
"Great to get together with Shitty Patel, Broken Britain's International Development Suckretary, today. A true Gujarati Hindu friend of Israel – and what an ass too."

Patel also held undisclosed meetings with business and political figures, including Rabbi Ja’akoff Weaselberg, leader of Israel's leftist off-centre Orlah Bris Milah Party – and on 18th September she met Israeli foreign ministry official, Yuval Rottenstein in New York.

Apart from a couple of covert Mossad 'flies on the wall' no other diplomats were present at these meetings, where Patel claims she was accompanied by an pro-Zionist peer, Lord Stewie Polecat of Scouse End.

More damning still is the fact she later met Israeli public security minister (Shin Beth) Shylock Scatbaum at a Westminster restaurant last September – where she discussed Bobo Nuttyahoo's (Israel's ruling Likit Party leader) visit to the UK, which took place last week to celebrate the centennial of the disgraceful Balfour Agreement – an infamous immoral act in which Britain gave away the sovereign state of Palestine to a Zionist crime syndicate.

But matters continued to fester, thanks to the nefarious shit stirring skills of opposition MPs, and reached a septic head this week when Patel was recalled from Africa to get her bony brown ass unceremoniously fired by Terry Mayhem for concocting her own version of British foreign policy on the hoof and the covert lobbying on behalf of the apartheid state of Israel.

However, after arriving at Downing Street after dark, sporting her customary smarmy, shit-eating grin; Shitty Priti managed to duck out of a total embarrassing 'You're fired!' confrontation by proffering an earlier composed letter of resignation – scribed across the dessert page of a Kenyan Scareways first class dinner menu – then did an exit stage left through No 10's back door, smirking like a Cheshire cat.

So, she was allowed to resign as opposed to being sacked? Makes no odds, as zero dignity attached to this escapade. Shitty Priti's an untrustworthy scrote – and not only a perfidious power to herself and insubordinate to the Nth Degree, but an incompetent 'not to be trusted' skanger.

And this is the immigrant progeny slut who stated for the public record that British workers are lazy twats. Hmmm, well, at least they are not lying bastard Zionist agents out to hand British taxpayers' money over to the crime state of Israel's military psychos.

WTF her Essex Withering constituency thinks of the two-faced traitorous bitch – fuck knows – having an acting agent for a foreign power representing them in Parliament? But stupidity has a gravitational field and attracts all manner of morons.

If I was in charge of the Cabinet Office tea n biscuit money I'd be doing a recount before Patel left the No10 building. Like all traitorous scum, she should be burned at the stake.

For the record, the main gist of Patel's resignation letter to the PM stated: "I will continue to undermine you and the government, but stand up for the Tory Nasty Party values of freedom, opportunity and aspiration – to fill our pockets and secure post-Parliament golden parachute private sector sinecures – and lobby away for the likes of Baron Rothshite's personal Israeli fiefdom - and other private enterprises - to boost our offshore tax haven nest eggs."

Bollocks to this exchange of mutual ego-massaging false sentiment resignation / acceptance letters besides, for history will not remember Priti Patel kindly.

She's a political pariah become – and no friend of the British public – when one considers she hired her 'three jobs' hubby, the nine foot tall Alexi Seesaw, on a £25,000 quid per annum salary to look after her office – sharpen pencils, change printer ink cartridges, brew coffee, stock the toilet with bog rolls – and feed the cat.

So chances are bald pate Alexi (is he Russian?) is out of this cushy job as Shitty Priti loses half her mega-bucks £141,505 salary – a £96,375 p/a cabinet minister pay cheque – and is left to struggle by on a meagre basic MP wage of £74,000 nicker (plus exorbitant expenses).

Typical Asian wheeler dealer antics – perhaps copy-catting the unscrupulous Keith Vazeline - doing private self-interest deals behind the government's back – and with such brazen hubris of her own untouchability she ignores the obvious fact that not only were MI6 watching her snidey tricks but also the Labour and Lib-Dum opposition moles – and Brussels EUSSR Mafia spies – all of whom have a hard on for hoofing Terry the Maybot out of office and forcing another general election – with the ordained end product a reversal of the Brexit process to keep Britain's current prefix of 'Broken' in position and our once sceptred isle under the continued control freak jackboot of the EUSSR Federation.

A closing condemnation of Patel came from Crispy Clunt, the incumbent Tory MP for Backgate, who confided to press hacks that the 45-year-old Patel had been accelerated into the top job due the fact she's Asian - and Posh Dave Scameron fancied 'a bit of brown flesh' (quite probably as a change from fucking pigs) – regardless of her being a 'bit of a dumb twat' - and lacking ministerial experience.

However, Nacho Zahawi - Conservative MP for the Lemon Kurd constituency, opined to the BBC Two's Newshite he believed some of the criticism facing Patel was down to the fact she was a pro-Brexit campaigner during the EUSSR referendum.
The Iraq-born Zahawi, waving a flag for his pro-Zionist pal Patel, stuck his scrawny neck out even further by declaring she was not having clandestine meetings with officials of the apartheid state of Israel and that the Foreign Office were aware of the meetings while she was in Israel.

Hmmm, WTF's the penalty for lying through your teeth to protect a fellow political scumster?

While Flatbrokes, Broken Britain's ubiquitous High Street bookies, were touting top odds that Shylock Scumberg, MP for Zion-on-the-Wold, was the likely candidate to fill Patel's vacated cabinet slot and be next to squander taxpayer's money on medical treatment for Neo-Con / Zionist Islamic rebel terrorist proxies convalescing in the Golan Heights – instead we have the absolutely unknown Penny 'Who?' Mordaunt promoted to the cabinet as replacement International Development Secretary – but obviously a damn 'good egg' as she is a hard arsed Brexiteer.

Ms Morbid's website bio-data states she first became interested in politics after reading how much money could be made for insider lobbying in bribes and back-handers while visiting post-revolutionary Romania during her gap year, working as a ventriloquist's dummy.

Elected to the House of Conmans in 2010 she was charged with the Ministry for Gimps portfolio in the Department for Wanks and Pensions until her promotion - though the 44-year-old is probably best known outside Westminster for her appearance (alongside 'fellow' (sic) pre-op' transgender celebrity, Ms 'Muscles Mitch' Obama) on ITV's celebrity Splash! diving show to raise money for her boob job.

Mordaunt enthralled press hacks outside Parliament, reliving her moment of 'Tombstoning' blindfolded into the shallow end of a swimming pool on TV and freely admitted "it hurt like fuck" as she hit the bottom.

BBC political correspondent 'Tricky Vicki' Young said she thought the sexy Ms Mordaunt would be a popular appointment with the party's groper contingent – the ones who still prefer women as opposed to sex with dogs, sheep, corpses - and children.
While her Labour shadow opposite number, Kate Cassowary congratulated Mordaunt on her appointment, she added with a bitchy whisper – "Enjoy it while you can – I'll have your seat come the 2018 Spring general election."

But reality TV fun and games besides, as International Development Secretary, Ms Morbid will be in charge of giving away bundles of the UK's £13 billion quid foreign aid budget to Jolly Jihad Islamic State rebels convalescing from their Russian air raid inflicted injuries at Israeli medical centres in Syria's 'Stolen Heights'.

In other appointments on Thursday, Sarah Figg-Newton has been made a deputy assistant junior under-minister in the Department of Coal Sheds while Victoria Atkins was appointed Parliamentary Under Secretary for the Sanitary Disposal of Roadkill.

Oh dear, if this is the government of the day then it is not fit for purpose and an insult to the intelligence (sic) of the common herd tax-paying voters. We have seen better organised riots.
Can these incompetent bastards – Tory / Lib-Dum / Labour not keep their hands off women's genitalia (unless otherwise invited to maul), or embezzling sticky fingers out of the public purse, or refrain from molesting underage schoolchildren – or felching cuddy pet shop animals - or selling their worthless souls to foreign governments

Yet what is the point – they are all immoral abominations – regardless of their blue or red or piss-stained-yellow banners - cast from the same power-hungry, egocentric, self-serving, shekel-grasping scum mould – who have little thought nor empathy for the Third Estate once the winning ballot is accounted

Definition of the Tory Nast Party – a political assemblage (akin to Labour, the Lib-Dums – and 'the rest') who spoon feed society a diet of deception to camouflage their ill-deeds, incompetence and culture of vile corruption.

Let us not forget the curse of the dinosaurs – a breed of creatures who didn't read, nor were possessed of a critical, inquiring mind, nor studied history – and for those omissions they are collectively extinct.

Thought for the day. Ah well, so Shitty Priti got her bad ass sacked – but was allowed to resign with dignity. What guff. Though Israel's nutty Knesset will always have a place for her in their graft and corruption-ridden midst – assigned to the Mossad's Sayanim Squad - as a London-based political lobbyist – with a foot already square-set in Parliament as the Nasty Party's member for the Jewtopia constituency.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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