Insanity Contagious: World Gone Mad

In today’s shocking ‘Global Bonkers Pandemic’ exposé edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering 'gone ga-ga' gossip from our embedded loony reporter, 'Lobotomy Les' McDuffer, manning the live news Skype webcam hotline from inside the Bedlam Asylum for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into razor-edged bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Deep State agents of the good ole US of A – under the IQ-deficient aegis of President Donald Chump – have released their latest tantalising DARPA-developed Weapon of Mass Distraction - Batch #1 of the heavily edited / redacted JFK Assassination Papers – to keep canny Yanks with a couple of common sense brain cells still achieving telemetry (along with a legion of like-minded conspiracy-orientated foreign busybodies) from poking their curious noses further into the Las Vegas 'lone gunman' random target shot-a-thon travesty that witnesses, survivors and first responders alike swear – (on threat of confiscation of their Obama Care ill-health cards) – involved multiple shooters and definitely not a hapless, senile gambling addict who was selected by dark forces as ideal patsy material.

So, WTF do these long-buried documents reveal that we didn't already know? Sweet fuck all regarding which of the multiple snipers was assigned the forward-facing Grassy Knoll 'kill zone' shooting spot.

A single piece of pro-confusion data claims CIA deputy director James 'Jesus' Angleton – a class act wanker and Mil-Ind cabal stooge in his own right – called a Brit-based Cambridge Evening News hack from his Langley, Virginia office phone a half hour prior to the Dealey Plaza shootings – offering a tip that the hack should call the American Embassy in London - immediately, if not sooner - 'to claim first rights on a real big news scoop' - 25 minutes before John F. Kennedy was shot dead and Texas Governor co-passenger John Connally wounded - with a hail of 'magic bullets' by assassins unknown – then and now.

Alas, CIA incompetence strikes yet again – as the purported smarty pants Angleton, while placing his timely call in accordance with the assassination plot schedule, somehow overlooked the fact that Virginia (Eastern Time Zone) is one hour ahead of Texas' Central Time Zone.

To add further insult to the injury viz the common herd's collective intelligence on the 23/10/1963 – the New Zealand's Christchurch Star gutter press news sheet carried the front page story of JFK's assassination 'and' the identity of the lone gunman shooter – Lee Harvey Patsy – several hours before the event occurred. No shit – these International Date Line time zone thingies are a real pain to get one's head round too – even for the CIA smart asses.

Hmmm, the roots of coincidence n synchronicity defy the parameters of clairvoyance and credibility yet again. Same as the Israeli / Neo-Con Mil-Ind cabal's 9/11 false flag terrorist attacks on the NY WTC Towers, the Pentagon - and an innocent bystander field in Wanksville, Pennsylvania (home to Dracula's Quaker cousins).

And let's not allow selective memory or encroaching Alzheimer's to overlook the occasion of the BBC's ginger mingin psychic media hack, 'Gypsy Jane' Standley, reporting WTC 7 being 'pulled' a half hour before the 'controlled demolition collapse' event – with Building 7 clearly visible and still standing undamaged – in the background camera shot over her left shoulder.

Okay, WTF is next on the raving bonkers hit list to drag over the coals?

Broken Britain's not fit for purpose Nasty Party Defence Minister, Michael 'Flabby' Fallon, has urged MPs to stop criticising the barbaric Third World Kingdom of Saudi Arabia - in the interests of securing the sale of military fighter jets (and affiliated 'go-bang' ordnance) – much needed in the never-ending campaign to bomb their hapless – and defenceless – Yemeni neighbours into total extinction.

The utterly dense defence secretary was giving evidence to the House of Conmans Warmonger Committee, where he was repeatedly badgered by one embedded BAE Systems lobbyist as to why the mega-£££-zillions deal to flog his company's Typhoon fighter jets to Saudi Arabia had not yet been signed – which the moronic Fallon blamed on British and international human rights and wrongs activists campaigning against the deal and directing a barrage of sharp criticism at the empathy-deficient Saudi government – an act which has been rightly applauded by certain subversive (moral conscience) elements in Parliament.

We return once again to the good ole Land of the Free (sic) United States of the Great Satan (aka Israel's Bitch) – with the Chump administration's chronically-rabid Defence Secretary, Jimbo 'Mad Dog' Mattis, informing one gutter press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that he personally – and too his Agent Orange boss in the Oval Office - would ever accept the reality of a nuclear-armed North Korea – especially so under the leadership of a man with a worse haircut than President Donald Tweet.

Mad Dog took pains to warn the Pyongyang hierarchy that the NorKor military machine was no match for the Great Satan / South Korean alliance, and his personal brand of gunboat diplomacy was most effective when backed by a pre-emptive display of military force.

Hmmm, hypocrisy – or chutzpah – (take yer pick) – beyond borders. Mattis n the US of A will never accept the reality of a nuclear-armed North Korea – whereas the rest of hapless humanity have to accept the very scary reality of the Great Satan and her Israeli pals being armed with all manner of strategic and tactical dial-a-yield, micro suitcase sized and EMP-specific – and neutron blast nuclear weapons – with the US the only nation ever to use these in a military aggressive manner – Hiroshima / Nagasaki – just to see WTF damage they could do to a civilian target.

And let's not forget the legion of nuke tests that toxified the South Pacific environment with test after test of evolving design thermo-nukes – and too the myriad airborne detonations – and those in the continental US / Nevada with hapless Army GIs sat around the perimeter edges of the blast zones – sans radiation protection kit.

The go-getting Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Bag Salmon Spread, appears to be taking a page from ex-Sino Chairman Meow's Little Red Book of Daft Ideas – announcing his daring 'great leap forward' project to launch the Dark Ages kingdom's current cultural / socio-political model head first into the 21st Century.

Prince Salmon Spread unveiled this week a $500 zillion bucks wet dream - his personal Agenda 2030 vision of fundamentally diversifying Saudi's oil-dependent economy – by constructing the 26,500 square kilometre mega-whopping Neom City to be sited at the entrance of the Gulf of Aqaba – enjoining the borders of Egypt, Jordan and Isra-Hell.
The technologically advanced 'smart city' will have its own autonomous administration and be free from anything so traditionally boring as severely restrictive Sharia Law and Wahhabi socio-cultural regulations.

The Crown Prince privately confided to Western press hacks that once his doddering old man croaked and he was invested as King he intended to deal a swift blow to the wannabe ambitions of his scores of step-brothers and the money-grubbing legion of scrounging princes - along with all Wahhabist extremist ideologies - and return Saudi to the observance of moderate Islam – where pretty much anything goes.

Wow, n no shit, Sherlock – it all sounds too good to be true. But Prince Salmon Spread's got some catching up to do – to even draw close to the socio-political backward culture likes of the UAE - where skinny dipping in the tropical warm waters of the Gulf or a quick shag on the beach can get a bloke and his poke tossed in jail forever – with zero time off for good behaviour.

Oh yes, under the auspices of this forward-focusing Crown Prince, not only will women be permitted to drive cars in the coming year (2018 for us – still 1440 – some 578 years behind - for the star-crossed Saudis).

But be discouraged not, for Saudi Arabia has become the first country to grant citizenship to a robot. The lucky AI 'all-woman' humanoid device is Neekni Sahrawi, who (no shit) was designed to look like Audrey Hepburn - wearing a burka - and revealed to a cacophony of wolf whistles at a Future Investment Initiative in Riyadh last Wednesday.

Ms Neekni Sahrawi is the creation of Hong Kong based Hands-On Robotics, who have gained a certain undesirable notoriety for the design and mass market production of their paedophile-friendly robotic 'kiddie molester' child sized models (in both sexes) that can scream in a choice of thirty pre-programmable languages when groped, forced to perform fellatio, bonked and / or sodomised.

Unconfirmed rumours abound that Hands-On is producing a line of robot sex toy goat and micro-camel models specifically for the Arab Gulf market – just like the real thing to enjoy in the privacy of your 'man-tent' around the oasis at night.

Well, good luck on these stick-yer-neck-out ventures, Prince Salmon-Spread – especially with regard to the negative extremist ideology reactions of the ultra-conservative Wahhabist Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice - and their Sharia Law-enforcing Mutaween religion Plod Squad.
Personally I'll be keeping well clear of the KSA when the proverbial shit hits the fan and a deep state 'do or die' conflict takes off between the monarchic and clerical factions.

The control freak political correctness monster rears its ugly head yet again in the global mass media viz 'transgender' issues – with kids so young they haven't yet evolved the cognitive skills to work out where babies really come from – or if lil' girls will eventually grow a willy - and are being tempted by sinister Satanic New World Order forces to choose if they want to keep their willy or wee snatch – or opt for becoming the opposite sex with a regular dosing of synthetic puberty-blocking hormones.

Believe me boys – tits are not a thing you want – and for the girly demographic – you will not be comfy with a pair of dangling bollocks. Just be happy with what yer got.

The rogue crime state of Israel scores – as ever - a top notch rating on the global insanity scale - in defiance of 40-odd UN Security Council resolutions and 100 plus General Assembly resolutions – along with censorious International Court of Justice rulings - and smearing every critic and their dog with the customary anti-Semitic / Holohoax denier broad brush to justify the illegal settlements programme in the military occupied West Bank of Palestine – and the IDF's barbaric siege of the population of the Gaza Strip enclave behind this abominable Great Apartheid Wall in the biggest Nazi style concentration camp in the known Universe.

And now, to toss another 'fuck off, eat shit and die' we-don't-care finger at the world, these Zionist thug-bully arseholes intend to celebrate the centennial of Arthur Balfour signing his infamous 'Declaration' – throwing Empire's Day Britain's endorsement behind the theft of Palestine by a horde of unwashed foul and foreign Khazar Ashkenazi immigrants escaping the vile ghettos of Europe and Russia.

Perhaps time to apply hindsight and finally reflect back on the speech the Zionist lobby claim JFK never made – er – the one that got him killed: "One day after I am long gone, you will remember me and say, we should have stopped the nuclear program of Israel, abolished the Federal Reserve and kicked all secret societies, occultists, usurpers and Zionists out of our wonderful country, to keep it that way, but it is never too late, just remember that."

Back on the European mainland, no more shall the shout of 'Viva España' be heard voice by the mad cat Catalans - whose recent independence referendum gesture based on Emile Durkheim's theory of deviancy – (a blatant middle finger tossed at the 'democratic right repressive' control freak state apparatus) - went down like a proverbial lead balloon.

As the dust settles in the aftermath of the referendum violence visited on the innocent civilian heads of Catalan voters by the barbaric Guardia Civil thugs imported from Seville, the restive region's political leader, Carles Podgymonk has been unceremoniously fired from his post by the Madrid hierarchy – on orders from Brussels' chief EUSSR Federation control freak mandarin, Jean-Claude Drunkard - with the Cortes Generales poised and ready to stamp down on any further notions of autonomy with a Franco era style Hitlerian Nazi-sponsored fascist jackboot - to not only keep the region in compliant check but a submissive vassal of the EUSSR's fifty-seat Round Table of Corporate Kleptocrats.

To wit, with hindsight focusing on the socio / political perspective of the referendum, displays of autonomy and independence (anarchy / criminality) by the common herd demographic is verboten – hence the off-the-cuff Guardia Civil's violent response in policing un sanctioned acts of free speech expression.

So much for the beleaguered spirit of democracy and self-determination.

The Royal Navy's 'rum, bum n baccy' brigade hit the scandal sheet top ten charts this weekend with a gaggle of manky matelots evicted from the HMS Vigilant nuclear submarine after being discovered stoned out of their heads on Columbian marching powder - while on duty and tasked with minding the big red 'missile launch' button.

But this isn't the first sordid scandal to hit the Vanguard class submarine – with revelations earlier this month being leaked to the public domain of a strew of highly improper on board shirt-lifting 'whose turn in the barrel' incidents among senior sodomites.

The nine dope-head crew members of the vessel, which is one of four Royal Navy submarines armed with eight Trident 'hit or miss' nuclear armaments, copped a slapped wrist apiece and were summarily discharged after testing positive for the Class A snorting powder.

One Navy snitch confirmed for the Golden Rivet Review that nine crew-members had been sacked for drug abuse offences – and one able seaman crew member of the Vigilant stationed at the Faslane Clyde Naval Base reportedly discharged for engaging in 'hide the one-eyed eel' unprotected sex with an underage rent boy in a swimming pool at the nearby Nonceland Resorts Leisure Centre.

It doesn't take a rocket science intelligence quota to discern the Conservative Nasty Party are employing a swathe of distraction tactics to divert critical public attentions from the limp-wristed 'Yes Sir / No Sir antics of that clueless dipshit David Davies – head of the Brexit negotiating team – as they fail yet again to achieve any form of agreement with Brussels mule-stubborn EUSSR kleptocrat hierarchy – and our wet rag dingbat excuse for a Tory PM, Terry Mayhem, expresses deep concern over half-arsed claims viz a list of no less that 'thirty-six' alleged sex-pest Nasty Party MPs preying on both female, male 'and' transgender' Parliamentary support staff.

Really, who the fuck in their right mind voted for another post-menopausal disaster to run the country (don't forget Slaggie Twatcher)? The ruminant Maybot's on a par with her Kraut 'schwein im schlüpfer' (pig in knickers) counterpart – the mangy Merkel – n both the useless trolls should be exiled to the far Gromboolian plains.

The Maybot went into a pre-rehearsed defensive whinge-a-thon as Worstminster was gripped by rumours regarding the identities of senior politicians and peers allegedly guilty of texting messages of a sexually degrading nature – both humiliating and personally abusive - to female research staff and aides employed in the House of Conmans 'and' Upper House of Frauds – who have now formed a TwatsApp group to share information over abuse and warn new Parliamentary staff which MPs and Vermin in Ermine peers are dirty deviant molesters – specifically one Labour Lord who delights in felching activities – bending over in his red and white stoat coat and having some naive male intern shove a couple of hamsters – or an adventurous gerbil - up his back passage.

One of Mayhem's cabinet ministers is alleged to have groped some slut at a drinks party, while another was described in the libellous message stream as ‘likes to pull his one-eyed trouser snake party trick for the ladies after a couple of cocktails’ – and one particularly perverted under-secretary has a passion for copulative sex with badgers.

Reverberating down the 'Pestminster' grapevine's scandal frequency are rumours that Nasty Party MP Mark 'The Vaper' Garnier is to face Parliamentary interrogation and possibly 'the rack' over concerns he broke ministerial rules after sending his House of Conmans secretary, Candida Gamarouche, off on a work time errand in Soho to buy him a selection of sex toys – including a #7 vibrating butt plug.

The gospel according to the Sunday Shitraker red top tabloid states Garnier added to the calumny by admitted he referred to her as 'sugar tits' - claiming this didn't amount to harassment as her nipples always tasted sweet.

Also in the line of fire from the 'command responsibility' angle, Labour's Trotskist leader, Jeremy Corbyn was quick to run for cover and rejected claims he avoided suspending the intellectually-challenged ginger mingin MP for Sheffield Hallam – Jared 'Gobshite' O'Mara - for making repeated misogynistic and homophobic comments dating back to 2002 and, finally bowing to political pressure, has tasked the party's chief interrogator, Harry 'Kneecaps' McScrote, to investigate the online remarks made by O'Mara.

However, ex-BBC doorman / bouncer Clive 'Skinhead' Lewis, elevated to the rank of incumbent Labour MP for Norwich South, has dodged a suspension censure but forced to apologise for using offensive and unacceptable language at the party conference in Brighton last month - where he was filmed on stage at a fringe event telling some unidentified rent boy acolyte to: 'Get on yer knees, bitch' – raising questions viz the recently-wedded MP's true sexual orientation.

Labour's scatter-brained Dianne Flabott opined that Parliament had to establish a credible process for dealing with complaints of sexual harassment, but stressed it was an issue she personally had no experienced of. Hmmm, wonder why?

The shit came closer to hitting the fan yesterday when several 'sacrificial goat' names were postured in the corridors of power, amid fears in Downing Street that a high-profile cabinet figure was about to be outed by the Sunday press scandal sheets – as any further sexcapade brouhaha and senior politico resignation could destabilise the Maybot's shaky government to the point of collapse – unless a massive damage control 'Three B's coercion exercise' (Bribery, Blackmail or Bludgeons) is swiftly expedited by the Party Whips – those curators of Parliament's sordid scandals.

And this squirly crap does in no way stop there - with a joint militant task force opposition Labour and Lib-Dum 'Let's get the Tory's' character assassination crew targeting cartoon character minister Michael Gove – with the slack-jawed Pob standing accused of ruining BBCr4today's birthday celebrations at central London's Shagmore Hall - by making a funny joke.

A what? A funny joke? Oh no – not in this 'Daren't say Booo! to a goose' era of control freak political correctness.

Typical of the spineless, craven wankers that public figures seem to have evolved into, Pob Gove apologised unreservedly after making a joke about Hollywood's celebrity serial groper and casting couch rapist, Harvey Fatberg, on Broken Britain's Biased Broadcasting Corp Radio 4 Today programme.

Gove, rashly entrusted with the cabinet 'environment portfolio', observed to fellow interviewee Neil Pillock that being grilled by bully boy BBC presenter John Humphreys was on a par with blindly venturing into Harvey Fatberg's boudoir for a midnight chat - commenting "One just hopes to emerge with their anal sphincter intact."

Facing a backlash of priggish indignation from fellow MPs - who think nothing of sodomising underage rent boys in some Barnes-based child sex brothel – or getting their arses spanked at Mistress Rowe's BD/SM Salon in Chelsea's Max Mosley Memorial Gardens – Gove tweeted his joke had been a 'clumsy and inappropriate attempt at humour' - and apologised profusely to any and all across the expanse of the known Universe that his faux pas might have offended.

But for the many out to sink the Tory government Gove's apology came too late, with Labour's ranga Jessica 'Jaws' Phillips MP claiming Pob's remarks were undignified and he should fall on his own sword – and Lib Dem's Jo 'Peanuts' Swinson accusing him of trivialising sexual assault.

Green Party peer, Lady Jenny Wren Jones of Mousecomb, sporting her customary 'dragged through a hedge backards' battleship grey rat's nest hairdo, opined to media hacks that criticism of Gove's comments were ridiculous, adding "I just wish some athletic toy boy would take the trouble to sexually harass me."

Whereas ex-political lobbyist cum bottle blonde moment Labour MP, Stella Greasy - referring to similar jokes made by chat show host James Corden – described them as 'not fit for the ears of God-fearing folk'.

Ha! Amazing how all Gove's split-arsed critics and complainants comprise a coterie of three-bagger broomstick merchants that even the likes of the Viagra-fuelled priapic Harvey Fatberg would disdain from bonking – and resort to the onanist act of jerking off instead.

Conversely, the Tory's Desperate Dan chinned Justine Greenthing opined that any old bag who felt they'd been sexually harassed should take it as a compliment – especially so if the 'horny pesterer' was sober at the time.

Not wishing to get left out on any occasion to put the boot in, the Nonceland Fascist Party's wee nippy First Munster, Nicola Sturgeon, opened her big gob before engaging brain (as usual), commenting that such issues as females of the species being abused and raped by establishment politicos is no laughing matter – as Aberdeen paedo ring child sexual abuse victim Hollie Greig would no doubt agree.

Hmmm, poor wee Hollie Greig - a voice still crying out in the wilderness for Justice – a justice that the SNP's nonce-protecting 'Fish Fiends' - Porky Pict Salmond and the Jimmy Krankie Sturgeon beast and their Police Nonceland / Holyrood / Crown Office ilk - have been turning a corrupt deaf ear to since the year 2000.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
An anti-authoritarian counter-culture alternative opinion blog and free radical alternative media source 'not owned' by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the ultra-racist Edomite Mafia 'Kosher Nostra' bankster crime syndicate - and committed to the relay of open source information – plus 'hopefully' immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

(Unless one has the audacity to support the pro-Palestinian BDS campaign and criticise Zionist Israel's human rights abuses and war crimes – or dare mention the dirty dealings of the Met's PPU (Paedophile Protection Unit ) or expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Nottingham's Nasty Paedo Club or Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle arse bandit / Violate BD/SM Club VIP (Very Important Pederast) kiddie fiddling Edinburgh / Balmoral / Glencoe / Cringemonogate / Aberdeen-based cabal – along with their Westminster and Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office / Secret Squirrel Security Services / Plod Squad sodomite - paedo-enablers / cover-up protectors).