Catalan: The Day Democracy Died

In today’s ‘The Spirit of Fascist Franco Lives Again’ exposé edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from our frontline media correspondents, Mel Cid from Madrid - and Mad Dan in Catalan – attempting to juggle their live news cellphone hotlines while handcuffed in the back of a Guardia UnCivil police van - for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into razor-edged bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Oh dear, how sad – democracy died a pitiful death in Catalan on Sunday, along with any chance of nationalist self-determination – with the central Spanish government threatening to emasculate whatever powers of autonomy the province currently possesses – pouring ridicule on Catalan President Carles Podgycunt, as a mere 42% of voter turnout was recorded in the independence referendum poll.

Well, WTF did anyone expect when the remaining 'street smart' 58% didn't fancy turning out to get mauled, kicked, punched and beaten with batons by the Guardia UnCivil Sadista Squad barbarians specially shipped in from outside provinces (Seville) while attempting to cast their democratic vote – yet an excess of 2:2 million members of the common herd did get off their non-violent arses and suffered being pugilised – with a return vote of 90% being cast in support of independence.

So what was the verdict on Monday morning at the EUSSR's HQ? Nary a single dicky bird in the way of censure – with the Brussels hierarchy turning a blind eye to police brutality – specifically so Commission President Jean-Claude Wanker – the perpetually drunken twat who ordered the Spanish Parliament to get a grip on the Catalan separatists before they seized total legislative freedom and power – and pulled a Brexit to achieve 'Independence Complete' status.

An official Plod Squad press release claims some thirty-odd police officers were injured in Sunday's clashes – mainly back strain from dragging fat old ladies out of polling stations by their hair – with several cases of hamstring trauma from putting the boot into already prostrate elderly voters – plus 'tennis elbow' style sprains from swinging their hardwood 'skull-crusher' batons at the assembled ranks of 'Democracy Shall Rule' protesters out to secure the integrity of the ballot boxes.

British tourists in Barcelona, always game for a combined Sunday piss-up come punch-up if no bullfights are scheduled, initially joined in the polling fracas as a bit of a giggle - but soon chickened out when things got ugly – with Ron McScrote, an unemployed Greedy Grocer supermarket shelf stacker from Luton, informing one gutter press hack from Philistines Gazette that the independence referendum was more like a Hammer Horror 'see the violence inherit the system' movie – reminiscent of Spain's 1936 civil war under the iron dictatorial fascist era rule of General Frankie 'Poison Dwarf' Franco's official police brutality policy.

The gospel according to the Biased Broadcasting Corp's correspondent Clare Baldpatch - recently branded by fellow journalist scum as a 'dithering dyke diva' – the Catalonia referendum descended into total chaos - with a side order of unbridled mayhem once the Sadista Riot Unit - the Spanish Guardia UnCivil's finest armour-plated Plod Squad thugs - displayed malicious barbaric intent aforethought in preventing the public from voting and shutting down polling stations - devastating the spiritual essence of Spanish democracy.

Okay, down to the nitty-gritty concerning Catalan independence. Same as Broken Britain's Brexit – it ain't ever gonna happen without a fire fight n blood, sweat n tears – cos if Catalonia achieves independence as an autonomous republic they plan on pulling out of Brussels control freak EUSSR kleptocrat-run federation – and with Catalonia being one of Spain's richest and most highly industrialised regions – and its capital of Barcelona a fiscal powerhouse and trading port, such an independence move has the Cortes Generales – both Congress of Deputies and the Senate – along with King Felipe VI - all shitting kittens.

There they sit, in far away Madrid - stuck slap bang in the bulls-eye middle of the country with their commerce of olives and bulls (and bullshit) – knowing full well that if the Catalans get their independence then the restive Bolshie Basques will be next - with Bilbao as their state capital. Then the Iberian Peninsula's gonna start to look like poor ole Yugoslavia – and the Syria n Iraq totally fucked-up Middle East model – balkanised n partitioned to Hell n back.

http://edition.cnn.com/2017/10/01/europe/catalonia-spain-independence-referendum-result/index.html

Log onto hyperlink for stellar examples of unbridled police violence.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
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