Vermin in Ermine Taxpayer Ripoffs Expose

In today’s ‘The Public's Getting Shafted' expose edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from our frontline cross-dressing media correspondent, Dame Mollie McSkanger, manning the live news cellphone hotline from the comfy red leather Irish Powernap benches of the House of Frauds for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

If it wasn't for bad news then Worstminster's Upper House of Frauds elderly care home wouldn't have any. First off the common herd have launched a petition to abolish the geriatric dosspit after the unelected peers passed two train wreck amendments to the Brexit Bill in a futile attempt to jam Article 50's trigger action and block the Tory's transvestite PM, Terry Mayhem kick starting the process of kissing Brussels and the EUSSR bye-bye - that has garnered well in excess of the 100,000 signatures required to initiate a House of Conmans debate on getting shut of this anachronistic den of iniquity – or rather 'antiquity' when the general senile, doddering state of the bloated 804 head membershit is considered.

Then we have a double-whammy cutting edge additional expose from the House of Frauds own back-stabbing snitch department as former Lord's Speaker and titled 'supergrass' Baroness 'Dirty Gertie' D’Souza let the cat out of the bag when confiding to one gutter press hack from the Kiss & Tell Gazette that she'd spent months investigating the sleaze-mongering culture of dingbat peers who clock in (but not out) to claim their tax-free per diem allowance, but make zero contribution in the Upper House's political / legislative workings and simply call in for the freebie £300 quid – (and if they hang around at all, cop for a subsidised lunch and booze up – then crash out on the back benches, snoring and farting – and exhibiting a fair impersonation of Anthony Gormless' iconic 'Decrepit Fossil' sculpture - until the afternoon 'school's out' bell sounds) - but scrapped the research to avoid naming n shaming the brass necked offenders and the likely backlash of having a Masonic secret handshake club / paedo mafia hit contract taken out on her scrawny neck for such indiscretions.

D'Souza, an egocentric ginger-mingin trollop, started out life as plain and simple Miss Gertie Russell – Labour Party HQ tea lady - before being bestowed with this elevated 'Baroness' title – one of dubious origin as she was nominated by none other than the political pariah who brought misery and suffering to the peoples of Afghanistan, Iraq - 'and' Broken Britain – that class act cross dressing / closet case war criminal himself – Tony 'Miranda' Bliar

The 72-year-old bat's shocking revelations of the money grubbing culture of the House of Frauds peers who claim thousands of pounds in perks but do sweet fuck all to earn it – which equals if not surpasses that of the House of Conmans expenses fiddling (floating duck island pagodas / moat dredging / flagpole ropes / toyboy entertainment / grapefruit bowls / fine art 'and' private security guards) - follows in the wicked wake of the peers’ attempts to thwart Brexit being trounced by lower house MPs.

Though the batshit bag deserves the Hypocrite of the Week award for cat-calling any other fucker and their dog when she blows £4,000 nicker of taxpayers' money on flowers for her office and slag off critics who censure her actions - plus 'twice' keeps chauffeur-driven limos waiting for hours on end while she goes to the Opera or partakes of a four hour lunch with the Japanese ambassador at Soho's Shit-or-Bust Sushi Restaurant.
Really, WTF's up with these people? They can't walk – or jump on a bus or take the Tube like real folks without some shot-up more-scent-than-substance Baroness or Dame title prefixing their name??

Yet WTF can anyone expect from a chamber composed of party cronies, donors and placemen – a consortium of doddering coffin-dodgers elevated to Vermin in Ermine status whose attendance records toss the principle of public service to the vagaries of the four winds.
Thus small wonder the reputation of the kleptocrat / sodomite / pederast infested House of Frauds is several degrees lower than a snake's bollocks.

What a blatant scam run at the expense of the hapless taxpaying voter demographic. Just who the fuck are these scrounging reprobates and what merits their elitist appellations?
The hereditary Hooray Henry cult of feudal system nobility titles handed down from one inbred blue blood mongrel generation to the next – and the non-noble common herd all bestowed with some Shitehood or Lordship in recognition for donations to House of Conmans political parties or via Freemasonry's graft and corruption-ridden wheeler-dealing system.

Now they've lost their Brexit block bid, perhaps they can turn a useful (sic) eye to Nasty Party MP Anne Main's current Parliamentary crib viz 'scoop the poop n bag it' dog shit complaint – that countryside canine walkers should not bag their doggy's anal download but simply kick it into the long grass or bushes as hanging the bags on bushes, tree branches and fences is becoming a nation-wide pollution problem. Well, WTF else are they copping £300 quid a day for?

And here's poor moi – a 68-year old pauper with a state pension of £542 quid a month and these dog wankers are picking up £300 nicker a day for clocking in – (but ridiculously, not out) and having an Irish power nap on their comfy red leather benches after a taxpayer subsidised gourmet lunch and a bottle or three of Chateau de Pisshead. No shit, for £300 quid a day I'd do overtime too.

Though by comparison, the £300 per diem is fuck all when juxtaposed with that useless coke-snorting tosser, the Nasty Party's ex-Chancellor Gideon 'Spankies' Osborne picking up £40,000 quid per hour for standing at a rostrum and spouting bullshit to a bunch of commercial bankster types on how to run their business after he managed to make an even bigger fuck up of Broken Britain's economy than New Labour's equally good for nothing Nonceland wankers Alastair 'Albino' Darling and Gordon 'Cyclops' Broon combined.

Mind you, when your bad habits run to forking out mega-bucks for good quality Colombian nose powder and the service of some fat arsed West End Dominatrix like Mistress Natalie Rowe to cane your bare botty - then piss all over you, maybe £40,000 nicker per hour is the stipend required to the cover costs of Grade A snorting snow and golden showers.

Are you a member of the House of Frauds? Do you pick up £300 quid a day for doing sweet fuck all? Do you use your Upper House issue red 'Stoat Coat' as a dressing gown – or to fancy dress parties?
Did you get your peerage for some corrupt sleight of hand trick off the likes of arch war criminal Tony Bliar for chairing the David Kelly assisted suicide inquest and covering up his murder – or spending seven years to decide the non-illegality of the invasion of Iraq on the grounds of Saddam Hussein having weapons of mass distraction was a conjured pile of dodgy dossier bullshit – then reporting the Russians were to blame?

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While a hefty score of conscience-stifled rabid royals, noncing nobles, Privy Council pretenders, perjurious Oxford Uni' principals and corruption-ridden political ponces might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' casualties and thrown into paranoid psychosis states of scandalous exposure anxiety attacks, no innocent non-combatant women and kids - and especially so Syrian or Yemeni refugee children – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry 'felcher friendly' sized mammals – ferrets and stoats, voles, moles, white mice, bum rats, chinchillas, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, miniature coypus, dwarf beavers, etc – were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

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Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness. An anti-authoritarian counter-culture news sheet and free radical alternative media source not owned by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the ultra-racist ZioNazi Edomite Mafia 'Kosher Nostra' crime syndicate - and committed to the relay of open source information – plus 'hopefully' immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle arse bandit / Violate BD/SM Club VIP (Very Important Pederast) kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Westminster and Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office / Secret Squirrel Security Services sodomite - paedo-enablers / cover-up protectors).