Thursday, 6 October 2016

'Pop Up Bobs' to Replace Plods

In today's ‘Enhanced Idiocy’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Following the nationwide imposition of niggardly austerity measures by the Tory Nasty Party government that - since their execrable 2010 House of Conmans majority investiture - have slashed the budgets of essential social services throughout our once sceptred isle – local policing authorities are fielding a trial scheme that involves life-size cut-outs of plods being placed at the roadside to deter not only motorists from speeding but also scrotes and scallie types from indulging in road rage tailgating games - and stabbing fellow motorists who might be the imagined cause of some minor road courtesy infraction.

While officers in Scotland's grotty Grampian region have been using the so-called Pop-up Bob cut-out figures for two years in a futile attempt to reduce offending, Police Nonceland Chief Constable Phil Gormless confided to one gutter press hack from the Penny Pinchers Review that the life-size figures will eventually replace real plods - but serve to act as a visual 'long arm of the law' retribution reminder for those tempted to engage in criminal activities.

CC Gormless added that the Pop-Up Bob figures were also designed to act as a prevention deterrent aimed at pervy Freemasons and their Satanist pals intent on snatching wee kiddies for their ritual paedophile sex abuse and blood sacrifice gatherings – such as the attempt by stooges in Aberdeenshire rumoured to be acting on behalf of the aristocratic laird of the Cringegate estate at Fraserburgh - none other than Lord McNonce himself - who offered one hapless family £25,000 quid if His Eminence might 'borrow' their disabled, special needs son - a minor – to participate in an evening's buggery and BD/SM entertainment at the local Violate Club.

Inspector Hector McTadger of Grampian's Foulmouth Police Station informed media hacks "Since that scumbag Alex Salmond and his wee nippy replacement, the ridiculous Sturgeon woman, have slashed our policing budgets we utilise a life-size image of a uniformed plod to provide a visual reminder to criminals to try and persuade them to behave in a socially-acceptable manner."
"Trial uses of this prop in place of genuine resources has previously been well-received by local communities north of the border, and many folks simply can't tell the difference – apart from the fact the Pop-Up Bob's don't accept bribes or chase wrong-doers."

Conversely, similar attempts by officers in England to reduce crimes such as the culture of child sexual abuse practiced by the untouchable ranks of the Royal Family, Civil Service Mandarins, Parliamentary MPs and members of the Upper House of Frauds - positioning cut out Pop-Up Plods outside the likes of Barnes Elm Guest House, Dolphin Square and several London based paedo brothels specialising in underage 'little brown' immigrant sprogs - have unfortunately proved unsuccessful.

Angus Woddlepog, a police officer for 30 years in and around Glasgow, related to a media source from the Catamites Gazette that any initiative which might bring down the number of children going missing and being sexually abused – especially around Aberdeen – (now marked with the black mark of infamy as Scotland's 'Nonce Central') - was worth a try.

Woddlepog added "We've submitted a request to Police Scotland's Chief Constable, Phil Gormless, for funding to expedite a full evaluation to see if it's something that works as a deterrent in place of real police officers – especially around the British Home Stores' public toilets in the city's St Enoch's Centre shopping mall - where untouchable Scottish Legal Aid Board sodomites like Dirty Doug' Haggarty congregate to bugger underage rent boys - and so if this is an effective way of stopping such immoral and criminal behaviour then let's give the Pop-Up Bob cut-out plods a try."

Ah, now it all becomes as clear as mud as to why a failed Plod Squad Scotland investigation (2000 to present / 2016) into the serial rape and sexual abuse of special needs minor Hollie Greig - and a host of other wee kiddies - by a (to date) untouchable elitist Aberdeen-based Satanist nonce ring was such a scandalous shambles.

Here we all were, conspiracy theorists to a man, pointing the fickle finger of fate at the graft and corruption-ridden likes of Glasgow-based money-laundering / media-coercing / censuring solicitors for the cover-ups - along with the equally corrupt Freemason-infested Holyrood and Crown Office scum, bent plods and underage rent boy buggering Magic Circle Speculative Society sheriffs and judges - when it was simply a case of Pop-Up Bob being assigned to oversee the investigation and no f*cker or their dog ever checking on his progress.

Hey, perhaps that's why Scotland's historic child sexual abuse inquiry is as big a balls-up as Westminster's pathetic stalled efforts (several chairpersons and QC legal beagle advisors down before kick-off) and the Hollie Greig scandal not on the agenda for review cos Holyrood have assigned 'Pop'Up' cardboard cut-out versions of Susan O'Brien QC, Glenn Houston and Prof Michael Lamb to the inquiry panel.

Yet a further burning question comes to mind: was Pop-up Bob the officer on Police Nonceland's Bannockburn duty call desk back in July last year when a concerned passing motorist phoned in to report that a blue Renault Clio with two people inside had gone tits up off the road on the southbound carriageway of the M9, close to junction nine?
A scandalous incident that resulted in zero police response and the seriously injured Lamara Bell lying undiscovered next to her dead boyfriend, John Yuill, in their car for three days.

Then, to add insult to injury, one of Police Scotland's 'finest' (sic) left a 'Whoops, so sorry for delayed response' voicemail message on Lamara's mobile phone - ten days after she died of her sustained injuries in Glasgow's Queen Elizabeth University Hospital.

Oh yes, all this – and more – under the incompetent aegis of Police Scotland Chief Constable Sir Stephen House – who quit following the incident – before he was fired – and now replaced by the equally moronic Phil Gormless, as of January 2016.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled rabid royals, noncing nobles, politico ponces, bent money-laundering lawyers and corruption-ridden porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' casualties and thrown into paranoid psychosis states of scandalous exposure anxiety attacks, no innocent non-combatant women and kids - and especially so Syrian refugee children – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry 'felcher friendly' sized mammals – ferrets and stoats, voles, moles, white mice, bum rats, chinchillas, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, miniature coypus, dwarf beavers, etc – were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

Conversely, a large number of the NSA - GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced.

So bollocks with a large capital B to political correctness - from here on in this is our legacy - to rip away the Veil of Venus blinkers and awaken people's vigilance against the corrupt establishment's totalitarian encroachment - using their eyes and ears - and brains - to say 'what if?' and make that 'consequences be damned' / 'harm's way' / 'who gives a flying fuck' quantum leap to start thinking for 'themselves' and become agents of their own destiny.

No longer accepting and believing the propaganda and lies our corrupt gutter press and biased goggle box telly spew out in a disingenuous politically correct format – or the ruling regime's sinister de facto belief that trans-national kiddie fiddling is a global 'common core' cultural value that should be accepted by a morally-misguided public - and the age of consent lowered to three years – to accommodate their perverted Satanic sexual fetishes.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).

1 comment:

Alpha-Anarchist said...

Yeah, Pop-Up Bob and his fellow dead between the ears Plod pals hunting down nasty paedo scum besides.
Won't be a problem for much longer. Not when Parliament pulls a repeat of The Sexual Offences Act 1967 which conveniently decriminalised acts of buggery between two - or more (a clusterfuck) male sodomites.
The next step on the establishment Dark Forces / elitist shadow government agenda will be forcing the House of Conmans hand to expedite the reclassification of the age of consent and thus decriminalise paedophilia.