Paedo C of E Bishop Cops Divine Judgement

In today’s ‘Corrupt Coverups’ ecclesiastical edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from the Archangel Gabriel on the Old Bailey editorial desk for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Senior judges, a gaggle of shirt-lifting Tory MPs and members of the royal family were among the index of corrupt establishment VIPs (Very Important Paedos) who submitted references of good character to the CPS in an blatant intervention attempted to prevent disgraced Bishop Peter Baldy being prosecuted for systemic sexual abuses, the Old Bailey court heard in evidence as the fudging pederast cleric was finally jailed for his scandalous crimes.

Baldy, the former bishop at the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Catamites, was jailed for 32 months after admitting sexually abusing a score – and more – underage males between 1977 and 1992 and must serve half the term before being released on license - with his name entered into the Sex Offenders Register for all Eternity.

Passing sentence Justice Dilbert Wankie told the court he had taken account of the harm Bishop Baldy had caused to his victims and the negative effects such might have had on their anal sphincters and overall colonic health - and specifically scrutinised testimony of his unscrupulous fellow Masonic secret handshake brethren from the Dolphin Square Sprog Stranglers Club who endeavoured to coerce the Crown Prosecution Service into dropping the charges against him and thus pervert the course of justice to get the kiddie fiddling bumboy scumbag off the proverbial hook.

When Baldy was first accused by victims of his perverse attentions back in1992, a cabal of prominent public figures – his Masonic brothers – reputedly including the-then MPs Janner, Brittan and Cyril ‘Fatty’ Smith – pressured both the police and CPS with a ‘not in the public interest’ argument, hence Baldy got off virtually ‘Scott free’ (sic – no pun intended) with a slap on the wrist caution from a Plod Squad Mason pal, the Met’s Chief Inspector Ron McScally, and thus escaped prosecution.

Prosecutor Blobbie Cheetlist QC told the court that CPS files proved they had received a stream of irate phone calls - and letters on Masonic stationary - from members of the Queen’s ‘rabid royals’ family, Whitehall mandarins and dodgy cabinet ministers to drop the charges against the Bishop – or else the shit would hit the fan.

Ms Cheetlist compared Baldy’s conflicting public and private personas at length during the hearing. “He was highly regarded as a godly man but one who had a perverse and predatory sexual attraction for young males. He abused his position of bishop over 15 years to identify, groom and exploit gender-confused sensitive and vulnerable underage choir and altar boys who aspired to be priests - or nuns - and came within his orbit – temporal sins for which he has expressed no remorse.”
“For him, the Christian religion was a cloak behind which he hid in order to satisfy his sexual perversions for botty sex. The abuse included attempts by the then-bishop to whip young men with his fishnet tights and perform baptisms that used the vicarage jacuzzi as a font and required both participants to be naked.”

Conversely, Fellattia von Skanger QC, defending, claimed Baldy’s crimes revealed very much his dark side and were the antithesis of a public eye baby-kissing man of God – but were akin to those of a serial killer – and could be excused due his formative years being blighted by bad parenting and Baldy coming from a broken home – concluding with the ludicrous, mitigating observation that “at least Bishop Baldy isn’t guilty of acts of necro-zoophilia and sticking his cock down a pig’s throat - like our incumbent Tory Prime Minister.”

Following the trial’s scandalous revelations involving interference with the police investigation and prosecution of the bumboy bishop, Clarence House was quick off the mark issuing a media release to salivating gutter press hacks, stating for the public record “HRH Prince Dobby wishes to clarify that being a crypto-Jew, Chazzer has no religious affinity to the Church of England’s child molesting clerics - or kiddie fiddlers or botty bangers of any type whatever their sectarian affiliations or priestly rank – and thus personally made no intervention in the judicial process on behalf of Bishop Peter Baldy back in 1992. However the Prince can’t speak for his father, Prince Stavros of Edinburgh."

Masonic Lodge brother Ian Dunkin Shit attempted to euphemise Bishop Baldy’s groin-groping paedo actions as simply a bit of innocent male bonding cum botty-spanking fun and games – as the train fare dodging Tory Chancellor Georgie Osborne engaged in with his darkie dominatrix, Madam Natalie Rowe – and had the brass necked audacity to reflect that Ken ‘Groper’ Clarke was never collared or prosecuted for reportedly crotch cuddling an underage Ben Fellows.

The former Archbishop of Canterbury, George Careless - now Lord Careless of the Doldrums expressed "abhorrence and deep regret at Peter Baldy's behaviour which occurred during my watch" - and while it remained a "key priority to support many of those who had been bummed by Baldy – hopefully God's divine wrath would descend on the scores of misguided establishment hierarchy souls – randy royal reptiles included - who gave him references of good character back in 1992 – an act which served to forestall his due prosecution and allowed him to continue sexually abusing vulnerable young persons."

Thought for the day. Historic sexual abuse charges and string-pulling Very Important Paedophile pals besides, if Bishop Baldy had been noncing and poncing around Glasgow – (or especially so Scotland’s kiddie fiddling capital of Aberdeen) - and caught butt fucking an underage rent boy in a public place – such as the St Enoch’s Complex BHS toilets on a Saturday afternoon - he’d have walked as the Masonic Speculative Society infested Crown Office hierarchy would have scorned the charges as ‘not in the public interest to prosecute’ – as they did with SLAB’s Technical Head, Dirty Doug Haggarty.

To wit, if that had been the case and the sodomised victims filed paedo charges against Bishop Baldy in Nonceland, then doubtless they would have been arrested, copped for a stitch up trial, with every fucker and their dog on the procurator fiscal’s prosecution witness list perjuring themselves to Hell and back – and the complainants either sectioned as bonkers fantasists or slapped with a prison sentence.

And that is a fact Jack – n if any fucker doubts the veracity of such, just Google Hollie Greig for an establishment conspiratorial scandal of Biblical proportions.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one dares expose and name the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Nonce Ponce kiddie fiddling club and their Holyrood / Crown Office apologists and coverup protectors).