Tory Education Minister Ready for War

The Tory Snafu Party’s current incumbent IQ-deficient Minister for Education - none other than the notorious ginger-mingin Gillian ‘Scouse’ Keegan - (formerly Minister for Televised Profanity) - has once again blotted her copybook by gobbing off, with her customary unqualified arrogance, to criticise and naysay a report from ‘sensible adult’ MP members of the House of Conmans Defence Select Committee who claim, in their twelve months-long researched estimation, Broken Britain is not sufficiently-equipped, nor strong enough, in terms of troop numbers, to enter a protracted war against Bad Vlad Putrid and his Russian military – or even some ‘mouse that barks’ postage stamp nation state alike Liechtenstein or Andorra – or even the Swiss Guard defended Vatican.

Conversely, in total rejection of this report, the gospel according to Keegan, the incumbent Tory MP for Shitchester since 2017, is one that claims Food Bank Britain’s armed forces are well-funded and, quote: “have nothing to fear, with enough ‘weapons of mass distraction’ for any  potential ‘World War Three’ with Russia or China.

Hmmm, this assurance on matters military – both defensive and aggressive - from a Minister for Education, who, readers might be shocked to hear, has zero military experience, nor holds any format of academic qualifications in strategic military lore that might put her on an equal footing with such warfare / conflict theorist luminaries as Thucydides, Clausewitz, Sun Tzu, Machiavelli or Liddell-Hart.

The Defence Select Committee’s preliminary report states that our island nation’s military is consistently overstretched, leading to capability and stockpile shortages, as well as a recruitment crisis of Biblical proportions – which only a selective conscription campaign might resolve, to create an armed force of true war-fighting and strategic readiness - by weeding out the limp-wristed Woke joke cultists and trans-gender-bender pacifists - and conscripting a legion of 18 year old teenage soccer hooligan types, for whom street fights and generalised thuggery are part of everyday life.

This pessimism and scaremongering comes on the heels of growing speculation across Europe and from paranoid NATO chiefs, viz the possibility of a global conflict - with the Tory’s actual Defence Secretary, Grant Shitts, going into Chicken Little mode warning the world was "'moving from a post-war to pre-war world".

Army General Patrick Sanders also commented on the military’s lack of funding and its depleted current ranks of 73,000 troops, compared to over 100,000 in 2010 – and the requirement for a standing regular army force of 120,000 ready to fight a war anywhere on the planet where hostilities demand the defence of British interests – or in defence of our sacred Isle of Albion homeland if Bad Vlad ever gets done with the Russian bogged-down imbroglio in the Ukraine, and decides, for whatever fucked-up squirrely reason he wants to invade Britain.

There again, regardless of the qualified – and specifically ‘unqualified’ - opinions of the silly Gillian Keegan, or Grant Shitts, or General Sir Paddy Sandpit, a UK-based military staging ground, or battlefield setting, resplendent with 100,000 battle-ready troops, and the boasted £50 billion quids-worth of weaponry - we live, since the end of the last major waste of human life conflict – 1945 – in a now-advanced nuclear weapons age – and one single, 10 kiloton capacity nuclear artillery shell – or ariel-delivered bomb – would convert the pre-mentioned 100,000 military force – and their £50 billion nicker’s worth of weaponry – into toast – (no pun intended) – ‘in a flash’ - before a single squaddie got a round off in the general direction of the enemy.

Ergo, we return to the subject of the war-ready, sabre-rattling gobshite Scouser, Gillian Keegan, and the subject of her lack of credibility on matters military or socio-political – especially so in the eyes of her worried constituents - and being part of this entire diverse political party Parliamentary administration and civil service cult – jointly comprised of basket case deplorables, brown-hatter pervs, pederasts, and generalised window lickers.

Regardless of being appointed as yet another head-nodding Privy Council dodo, Keegan has attained a wide notoriety for naivety, and her stock-in-trade crass attitude, plus a gaffe-prone political existence - as exampled perfectly by her Marie Antoinette copycatting, the ‘in yer face’ blatant display of a £10,000 Rolex wrist watch while making a tour of broadcast studios to inform and advise school teachers they needed to be realistic viz their demands for a salary increase on their pre-taxed £28,000 per annum pittance.

Yep, easy to say when raking in an MP’s salary of £86,584 quid – plus her ministerial add-on allowances – and expenses.

Shake yer head in despair, or laugh at the idiocy, you might – and rightly so too – when this Minister for Education informs head teachers they need to ‘get on their bikes’ and be out n about rounding up truants absent from the school register head count in morning assembly – and kick their hooky-playing arses.

Last, but by nowhere least, the Education Minister’s second husband - (no word on the fickle fate of the first) – is none other than the infamous Michael Keegan - the one-time boss of Fuijshitsu UK – the very corporation responsible for the fatally-flawed Horizon IT computer system that saw 700-plus British Post Office employees arrested, bankrupted and imprisoned for fraud and theft - when their not-fit-for-purpose (read ‘fucked up’) software switched to kleptomania mode and robbed the cash registers – then scapegoated the sub-postmaster staff.

https://www.gbnews.com/news/britain-weapons-world-war-iii-gillian-keegan

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.