Meghan’s Hack Pens Fairy Tales

Yep, the manky Meghan’s up-close n confidential buddy – none other than ‘pretty boy’ gutter press hack Omid Scumby - has done it again; and scribbled yet a second money-grubbing work of fabulist, speculative tripe, innuendo, deliberate exaggerations – plus outright porky pies – based and centred on the life & times Vaudeville act – (and back-stabbing antics) - of merry Montecito's wholly irrelevant exiled royals - Harry & Meghan Hewitt.

No shit, Sherlock -  that takes the effin’ biscuit.  Now we have a 'second front' libelous barrage of highly speculative - and offensive - exposé fiction, denigrating Britain’s ‘real and ruling' incumbent Saxe-Coburg und Gotha Royal Family - King Charlie Jug-Ears, the chain-smoking Queen Gorgonzilla, Prince Bald Willy Windsor, and his lazy-arsed better half, Katie Middleclass - from this self-confessed liar, Omid Scumby - which would, in saner days, before the petulant Woke snowflake culture became the societal norm - have seen Scumby tarred n feathered for such monarchical slanders – thus truly outfitted for his chosen role of the prize turkey.

It must be acknowledged that the credibility-deficient titled Sussex / Hewitt pair, and their scribbling hack accomplices, are turning out bodged bios and malicious royal scandal exposés faster than a Margate beach-front seagull can crap. But that’s life with Harry and Meghan – a truly immersive and self-delusional experience, that quickens and festers at an exponential rate.         

To wit, whatever saving graces the wibbling Harry might have once possessed - (if any) - are now corrupted beyond redemption, since the dawn of his toxic association with the narcissistic, drama queen, mingin Meghan.

Donning a cloak of unqualified arrogance, and describing itself as Meghan’s personal media pit bull attack dog – (woof, fucking woof!) - this self-promoting, scandal-mongering, limp-wristed, camp onanist, Omid Scumby, is now assuming the mantle of a know-all, see-all ‘royal biographer’ no less – and the unofficial media mouthpiece for California’s Lord & Lady Sussex – aka – the mendacious Meghan, and hare-brained Harry Hewitt.

What a self-delusional, money-grubbing leech – but in good company with Lady Sussex on that score – the half-chat Meghan; a so-typical low IQ / ‘five minute goggle box wonder’ B celebrity retard - (albeit kitted out with a nice arse, and blow job lips) - flogging her scandalous tales of woe to the highest bidder – with rumour abounding that Harry has promised Scumby to bestow him with a knighthood for his double-dose, two-book slandering of the Wicked Windsor gang – when he eventually becomes King, crowned Harry the First -- (of House Hewitt).

To wit, the only reason these ‘books’ (sic - works of illiterate dross) sell is due the fact the shit-fer-brains public get a hard-on for some celebrity – and better still, ‘royal’ – scandal exposé – as noted by the ginger-mingin Harry’s pathetic ‘Spare’ bio’ – a 416-page best-selling whine and whinge-a-thon tome viz his spoiled brat life as the red-headed cuckoo in the royal nest – plus much boastacious mentions of his ‘real men’ days as a RAF chopper pilot - chain-gunning lots of nasty Afghan civilians that looked a bit ‘Talibanish’ – with the entire caboodle obviously ghost-scribbled by some wordsmith functionary who can actually compose a coherent, literal sentence - and spell.

Well, both of these Hewitt ‘look at me’ lowlife wannabees - Harry and Meghan, are a quick study – and a passing glance is enough to establish they are both guilty of abuse of privilege - and possessed by an exaggerated sense of entitlement - as per Harry's current court case in Broken Britain - demanding 'entitlement' to personal security from the Met Plod Squad - qualified on the basis 'he went to war'.

So, for the record, and edification of the common herd readershits, who – or what – is this non-entity irrelevance, Omid Scumby (pronouns unknown)?

Purportedly sired by some tartan-kilted Scot, plus a touch of tarbrush DNA from Mummy Maryam’s Iranian side – who Scumby boasts is of aristocratic origins – perhaps related to the kleptomaniac, spendthrift ‘fake royals’ line family tree of the late dictator Shah, Mohammed Reza Palaver.

It is widely rumoured that the arrogant and obnoxious Scumby was bestowed with the less than complimentary sobriquet of the ‘Persian Poufter’ while ensconced - and literally ‘sweating it out’ - at Bauer Media’s gutter press / 'more at scent than substance' celebrity bullshit Heat magazine – (a low life arse-wipe publication) – with further media slurs circulating of Scumby’s rumoured incontinence – a prolapsed sphincter condition, no less - exacerbated due engaging in ‘forbidden delights’ with his LGBT-Q ‘big boy’ playmates – and French bulldogs.

Truth and integrity fall far short of any accepted level, even for a gutter press tabloid account of septic tank shit-raking ‘who said what and where’ toxic gossip - that might well breach the laws of libel – when the author (sic) did not even interview the main controversial subjects of these semi-fictional – and purely sensationalising - back-stabbing character assassinations of the British Royal Family.

This Omid Scumby character, at first sighting, obviously marked with some non-Anglo-Saxon taint in his jumbled genes – presents himself publicly by sporting the limp-wristed posture of an effeminate sodomite, signing copies of his Once Upon a Time fairy (sic) tale of the royal cuckoo – Prince Harry, the ginger-minging Duke of Hewitt - and his equally-irrelevant, IQ-deficient quadroon fancy bit – the egocentric Meghan.

And really, who gives a flying fuck viz the colour of Archie’s skin – he’s a passable whitey – same as his non-entity Mummy, Meghan – regardless of the kaffir in her genetic make-up.                               

It’s that ginger-mingin mop of hair which prompted Chazzer, Wills and Kate to raise the 'colour' question – for, alike Harry, Archie's a carbon copy of his equally ranga grand-daddy, Capt. James Hewitt – horse riding ‘companion’ (sic) to the late, and much missed, People’s Princess - Lady Di’.

The Hewitt's self-promoting ‘look at us’ Duke n Duchess of Sussex fake royal show-off displays are morphing into a pattern of repeated self-destructive behaviour. But there again neither of the self-delusional twats is too smart – for Harry was definitely stood behind the door when the triple figure IQ’s were handed out – whereas ‘thick as pig shit’ Meghan had actually left the building.

Stop press: HRH King Charles III of England declined to pass comment on the insignificant Scumby’s latest slanderous work of scandal – (a direct commission from the hands - and lips - of Meghan and Harry to destabilise and smear Britain’s monarchical institution) – as he was otherwise engaged – er – ironing his shoe laces.

Hmmm, viz the slanderous attacks on the ‘real Royals’ on behalf of the venomous wannabee, Meghan; doubtless Herr Scumby’s name will be henceforth dropped from the invites list for the 2024 Buckingham palace garden party – and passed to MI6’s '00 'fatal accidents' assassination team.

Ergo, a word to the wise, for Meghan (and Harry) – in the interests of self-preservation. If ever playing the tourist bit – in Paris – stay well clear of the freak accident-prone Pont de l’Alma tunnel.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.