Saturday 8 January 2022

Lust Island Slapper Cops Instascam Grief

Sitting comfy n cosy n secure? Fire in the hearth or central heating on? A glass of vino or Scotch – or mug of cocoa – n an Xmas left-over mince pie? Good, that's how life should be. But for many, due no fucking fault of their own, that is not the case. And don't blame unemployment n homelessness – or lack of good education, or life skills – or an underprivileged childhood – or poor parenting – or even laziness,  as a defining factor.

There's simply too many random elements of chance involved - and regardless of shit-for-brains gobshites and armchair philosophers - like one Tory Nasty Party MP – the incumbent Minister for Market Stalls - Paul 'Price of a Pinta?' Scully - claiming that ex-Lust Island bottle blonde bimbo, Molly-Mae Vague, is spot-on correct to use her Instascam page to post derogatory and offensive views of the rest of the common herd (she was once part of) – painting them – broad brush fashion - as a bunch of slack-arsed wankers who need to get their acts together - and either pick some better Lotto numbers – or work their arses off 24/7, like her.

Alas, muddled Molly, no fucker n their dog has the same 24 hours in their day as the next person.

The gospel according to the social media-focused Slappers Gazette, Molly-Mae Vague's thoughtless public 'tone deaf' comments have pissed off a greater percentage of her 'common herd' followers on social media platform channels – with a fierce wave of backlash referring to her as, simply, 'a privileged cunt'.

But who's fault is that. The IQ-deficient Molly-Mae – or the six billion-plus celebrity mesmerised wankers who chose to follow her – suffering grand mal attacks of group think mesmerism and hypnosis – or simply mass formation psychosis? – and the best remedy for this cult of the personality fascination is to stop logging on to social media platforms that host arrogant, egocentric intellectually-challenged wankers such as Ms Molly-Mae Vague.

Oh my, these self-promoting, posturing twats – on a singular or collective / group basis, are a very transitory social communication medium of 'influence', and hold no divine, contractual right to steer the course of the future – and Time's passage shall see them gone, and history shall not remember them kindly.

The Lust Island reality TV series 'runner-up' is perhaps described best by her shack-up buddy, Ron Furious – aka the Punchy Pikey – as 'a wee bit self-opinionated and delusional – like the Muppet Show's Miss Piggy' – 'but gave an okay blowjob – once she took them Bugs Bunny dental veneers out' – giving her a nine points score as a 'fair to middlin' three holer'.

After winning titles as Miss Teen Rodent Features in 2015 and World Teen Super Skanger UK in 2016, the intellectually-limited Molly-Mae progressed to cutting a lucrative £££ deal with South African tanning cosmetics range firm, Black as Night – then a mega-bucks contract with US-based Snatch-Wash, for a series of perfumed vaginal douche video ad's – with that unforgettable, classic sell-line: 'You're young and vibrant – but your pussy smells like a dead skunk'.

Further profitable sponsorship deals followed, the most recent with 'highway robbery' crap coffee franchise, Starbust – for Molly-Mae to persuade her billions of social media followers to spend £5 nicker each morning buying one of their over-priced Pistachio Crappuchino drinks – and perhaps be fortunate to discover a couple of her bleached public hairs floating in the foam.

But the so-recent toxic comments regarding the lifestyle status of her six billion slavish celebrity-mesmerised common herd 'followers' might just see her personal Instascam social media platform depopulated – for perhaps the followers are not quite as fucked in the head as she believes.

Such is life for this self-promoting social media influencer, who likes nothing better than to massage her own ego, by gobbing off n boasting she's been promoted from 'brand ambassador' to the post of 'creative director' of fast fashion brand, Shitty Little Things – raking in a tax-dodging sum of £500,000 quid a year – then rubs in this transitory material success, by insulting those not so fortunate – specifically her Instascam followers.

Ah well, yer can't educate pork, and the best yer can expect from a pig is a grunt. Oink-Oink, Molly-Mae.

... and the latest from Planet Molly: Molly Mae – what a bubble-headed klutz.

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/love-island-star-molly-mae-feels-so-famous-she-hires-people-to-stop-taking-pictures-of-her/204521

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka 'the Truth'.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

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