McMafia Sparks Call to Target McWindsors

In today's 'Money Laundering Monarchy Mafia' exposé edition we bring our readership the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering counter-culture hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into razor-edged bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing authoritarian 0:01% oligarchy that believe they rule this world and all upon its mantle.

The banner headline spells it out perfectly. The BBC's current McMafia drama series, centred on zillionaire exiled Russians running their criminal empires from our once sceptred isle - and conducting industrial scale money laundering operations from the purported safe haven 'respectability' of London's Square Mile, has evoked
a fit of government ire to target the dodgy hidden wealth of foreign origin oligarchs – starting with Mrs McWindsor – aka Queen Lizzy.

And that, folks, is the word from Westminster, with Security Minister Ben Wallace informing one gutter press hack from the Black Banks Gazette that "The BBC's McMafia drama series is closer to the truth than perhaps the pigshit-thick common herd might realise, but has served to raise awareness of the scams these untouchable international criminal enterprise Russian oligarch gangsters - and titled British money-juggling super rich zillionaires – have been running with impunity – so let the lot of them be warned of our imminent corruption crackdown."

Wallace – accompanied by his faithful laundered money-sniffing tracker dog, Gromit - are hot on their trail of foreign criminals and hidden wealth royals and politicos – intent on bringing down the full force of Broken Britain's Injustice system on the iniquitous heads of those who use the UK to register ghost corporations - and for a money laundering / tax-dodge haven.

Officials are set to field a High Court and Treasury-authorised brand of all-new 'Unexplained Wealth Orders' which come into effect this week - to seize dodgy assets – such as criminal enterprise affiliated back street laundromats catering to washing and tumble drying bent currencies - and hold until they have been properly accounted for – and if not, then such will be liable for confiscation by the Treasury – and the proceeds used to fund law enforcement.

Conversely, exiled Russian oligarch Oleg Mobsaroubles, owner of the Siberian-based Gulag Gaz and business associate's Michail Sackashit - the zillionaire CEO of Russtheft Energy - and Wankprom Oil boss Igor Crooksky, speaking with media hacks at Leon Lotsatottie's notorious Soho-based 'Takem Orloff Lapdancing Club' – opined that McMafia depicts London as a playground for sharp-suited Russian gangsters with more money than Croesus.

Fellow exile, Boris Bedsocks, proprietor of the City's popular 'Happy Ending Rub n Tug Massage Salon' chain, commented that " We are not buying into the clichés your government propaganda mouthpiece Biased Broadcasting Corporation is spreading - as the crime conviction rate among we Russians here in the UK is well below your national average when you account for all the Asian paedo-grooming gangs and Third World shithole drug dealers being arrested and slammed in jail."

"Mr Wallace needs to take a care differentiating between BBC fiction and harsh reality - and who he accuses and targets with unexplained wealth seizure orders and this money laundering investigation – lest he cops for a micro-dose of Polonium 210 in his morning cuppa."

Undeterred by such threats and 'zero culpability' revelations, Wallace pointed to the so-called Laundromat case in which ghost companies, based in the UK - were used to recycle Russian drug money from the Afghan opium trade through the City's Rothshite bankster syndicate as an example of Russian involvement in organised crime – with an excess of £90 billion quids-worth of dirty cash laundered through the Square Mile every year.

The government's move to enforce Unexplained Wealth Orders has been jointly hailed by both the Taxpayers Alliance and too, the anti-monarchist Republic group – with the latter's spokesperson Ron Scrote informing one media hack from the Daily Shitraker that "These UWO's are the dog's bollocks an' allow the British authorities ter 'freeze an' seize' property if individuals is unable ter explain how the fuck they acquired assets in excess of £50,000 nicker."

"Like them Russian oligarch criminal types wot bought up the USSR commodities in the 1990's Yeltsin Mabatex fire sale – or if some Third World minor jungle bunny politico turns up wiv a suitcase full of blood diamond cash an' buys a luxury townhouse in central London, then they're gonna have ter prove where the fuck the money came from."

"An' the same's gonna apply ter that old baggage wot lives at the top of the Mall, in Fuckingham Palace – Mrs McWindsor an' her tribe of inbred 0:01% money-bagged bastards wot lords it over us common herd types wiv their dodgy royal titles an' secret handshakes an' grows fat off our labours an' taxes."

"I ain't jokin' cos these scumbags pull all manner of knobhead stunts – claimin' ter be royalty an' rule by divine right – whatever the fuck that might be – a right ter rule our once sceptred isle cos God sez so? That's a load of old bollocks – an' as daft as them Israeli Zionist thugs claimin' ter own all of Palestine cos they're God's Chosen People - an' sez Palestine woz their Promised Land – an' fuck the poor Arab sods wot's bin there an' livin' on it fer thousands of years."

"So just yer watch at the next general election cos Republic's gonna have it's own Parliamentary candidates standin' fer office – same as this all-new Diarrhoea & Vomit Party wot's bin registered ter-day wiv the Election Commission. Then we're gonna shut down the Upper House of Frauds an' evict all them unelected Vermin in Ermine scrounging bastards in their red and white cosy coats – an' demand Queen Lizzie McWindsor abdicates an' slam the gate on their sovereign grant / civil list welfare benefit handouts – so they can all fuck off an' get real jobs."

"Mrs McWindsor indeed – the effin' lot's a bunch of exiled German oligarchs – this Saxe-Coburg und Gotha cartel wot conveniently changed their name ter the Anglicized 'Windsor' – just cos their Kraut relative, the bombastic an' fatally-impetuous Kaiser Willy Hohenzollern II, lost the First World War – an' they bought a castle at Windsor – an' a shitload of property an' another bleedin' castle up in bonny Nonceland at good ole immoral Balmoral - an' change their family name ter McWindsor - an' took up wanderin' round in kilts an' sporrans an' tweeds ter establish some spurious claim ter Scottish ancestry – like them slimy Stuarts."

"Every fucker an' their dog wiv a bit of common sense an' savvy knows only too well where the wealth came from - African slave exports ter the New World an' the China opium trade – an' the money-grubbin' twats is still claimin' social welfare benefits when they've got billions stashed abroad. Plus have yer seen the old biddy's jewellery – she's got a gold an' gem-encrusted crown wot any bag-snatchin' mugger or burglar or pawnbroker would give his right bollock for."

"Talk about cheeky Kraut bastards - comin' here ter England an claimin' ter be British - same as Lizzie's idle-arsed Greek twat of a husband, Prince Stavros or whatever the rude fuckpig's name is – Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg - wot sez he's the Duke of Edinburgh – when he's got less Scotch ancestry in him than a deep fried Mars bar."

"Then yer got that other flop-eared twat, Prince Dobby – Bald Willy's Dad - wot thinks he's gonna be the next King when old Lizzie kicks the bucket – but not if Republic have any say in the matter – cos this week it's 369 years since our last act of regicide – maybe time for round two."

"Chazzer reckons he owns Cornwall - but does he pay taxes on it? Does he fuck as like. Him an' that bottle blonde chain-smokin' old trout of a missus of his, Gorgonzilla - do either of the shiftless tosspots live there? Do they fuck – absentee landlords – an' squattin' at their other Highgrove estate place wot they don't pay taxes on either."

"Never mind the dodgy Russian oligarchs – and that other flabby triple-chinned money-launderin' wanker, Philip Greed livin' in Monaco an' puts the company in his missus name – then robs the pension funds of £350 million nicker ter buy another yacht. We need ter start the Unexplained Wealth Orders scrutiny campaign right at Mrs McWindsor's front door."

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
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