Cabinet Wars: Remainiacs vs Brexiteers

In this morning’s 'Brexit Brouhaha Goes Bonkers' exposé edition we bring readers the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing authoritarian 0:01% oligarchy that believe they rule this world and all upon its mantle.

The Nasty Party's fanatical Remainiac harpy-in-chief, Annie Sourpuss, MP for Snottingham's Botox constituency – (a self-opinionated troll whom uncharitable persons refer to as a cunt) - has gone on the public record, demanding that Tory PM, Terrible Terry Mayhem, 'gets her shit together' and sacks thirty-five ideological hard-line Brexiteers from the party benches.

Interviewed by Andrew 'Bat Ears' Marr on the BBC's Newshite Hour, the reptilian Sourpuss - a former blue flush addict and co-founder of the Dunham-on-Trent Halitosis Society – stated she intends to quit and join the Lib-Dums – or former 22 SAS troopers Robin Horseshit and Biffo 'Pitbull' McGnasher's all-new ex-Army 'Diarrhoea & Vomit Party' - if the likes of Bonkers Boris de Piffle Attaturk Nonsense and the canny, soft-spoken 'Brexit Whisperer', Jacob Rees-Mogg, seize control of the Tory Party's helm.

Regardless of 17:4 million British voters putting their X in the 2016 referendum 'Leave' box – and expecting a short term - couple of months - interim period until our once-sceptred isle was free of the Brussels / EUSSR control freak, totalitarian kleptocracy - the holier-than-thou Sourpuss claims they are wrong and she - in her infinite unqualified arrogance – is right – and the Cabinet Office Brexiteer clique's policy to leave the EUSSR single market, customs union and the European Court's 'judicial oversight' are wrong.

"All my suggestions, to remain in the single market and customs union have been dismissed by No 10 - and for this I blame these people who dare disagree with my vaunted opinion – specifically the Brexiteers that Terry Mayhem's pandering to – when she should be pandering to Michel Barnyard and Jean-Claude Drunkard in Brussels."

"The House of Conmans front bench is in hock to thirty-five hard line ideological Brexiteers who aren't proper Conservatives like me - but just Tories in name and not spirit. Poor Ted Heath and Slaggie Twatcher must be turning in their graves over this Brexit treachery."

"I mean it – if Timid Terry doesn't stop the likes of Liam Pox, Pob Gove, Jacob Rees-Moggster and Bonkers Boris de Piffle Attaturk Nonsense steering Brexit negotiations policy in the direction they want - and anyone else who disagrees with my views on Broken Britain's EUSSR membership – then if I'm the last of the stalwart suffragettes – still fighting to be heard and my warning falling on deaf ears, I intend to flee the coop and be off - and perhaps join Vince Cable and the Lib-Dum Remoaners – or start my very own Doom n Gloom Party."

Former Tory Chancellor, Norman 'Scops Owl' Lamont, commented to press hacks that Sourpuss has devolved from a bit of a pain in the arse nuisance to being utterly ridiculous. "The vindictive old bag's gone batshit loony and picking fights with anyone who disagrees with her ramblings and the squirly schemes she conjures up since Posh Dave Scameron's gone and she has no ministerial portfolio - and hence no say in cabinet business."

"She's obviously having another one of her post-menopausal psychotic episodes – which manifest any time Bonkers Boris takes centre stage – and shitting kittens he's going to unseat Mayhem and become Prime Minister – a position Sourpuss believes she's the only Tory squaw qualified to fulfil. This nasty pit viper would take umbrage with a mirror and chastise its reflection - so it's about time to get the rabid bitch in a strait jacket and back to the asylum - before she starts casting evil eye voodoo spells - or sinks her venomous fangs into someone."

To clear the air and state her official position, Timid Terry called a Cabinet pow-wow on Monday morning, following which Downing Street's gender-neutral spokesperson reiterated Mayhem's earlier decision to withdraw from the graft and corruption-ridden European community in entirety - and not be part of a watered down customs union arrangement, where Brussels still has Britain by the short and curlies.

The Brexit cabinet sub-committee is set to meet on Wednesday and Thursday this week, to review and update Broken Britain's negotiating position on its future 'non-relationship' with the EUSSR - whereas behind closed Parliamentary doors the treacherous likes of Annie Sourpuss, Ken Clarke and Philip Hammond have been fully complicit in the embryonic stages of betrayal since the advent of the July 2016 referendum and are covertly scheming to negotiate a separate open borders / customs union arrangement with the Brussels hierarchy.

And this is the Cabinet's unofficial 'warring factions' position - regardless of the ginger-mingin Home Sickretary, Amber Crudd, going on national media record last weekend, stating the Cabinet Office is not bordering on mutiny or in a state of disarray – but rather united - 'as one' - on all Brexit negotiation issues.

Gimme a break and cut the bullshit, Amber. The Nasty Party benches are awash with juvenile bully boy cat-calls of 'Traitor' and 'Saboteur' – and threats of 'We're gonna get you at recess' – and 'My security detail's got more muscle than yours'.

Well then, if that is Ms Amber Crudd's take on the state of the Cabinet and the fucked-up Tory machine, then some fucker or their dog needs to tell that sleazy twat of a Brussels stooge Chancellor, Philip 'Dandruff' Hammond, his wish list soft Brexit approach, open borders and customs union are dead ducks – and to quit his pathetic Fifth Column 'Brexit in name only' antics to sabotage the current negotiations – and get the fuck on with obeying the Will of the People who voted Leave – and fund his bloated pay packet.

BBC political hack, Laura Kuntsberg, interviewing ex-London Mayor – (and Tory Party leader in waiting) - Bonkers Boris Nonsense, passed an opinion that Ms Sourpuss' mental case outburst over the government's Brexit strategy was perhaps a sign she'd been missing out on her medication again – whereas Boris - Sourpuss' House of Conmans bête noir – was less than generous – or diplomatic - labelling her variously as an opinionated bottle blonde skanger, a venom-spitting harridan, a broomstick merchant – and without doubt – a suitable case for treatment.

In support of Sourpuss's diatribe, Labour's arch-trichotillomaniac, Chuka Umunna, a cartoon caricature of a House of Conmans MP, claims leading Tory Brexiteers have become “a direct threat to democracy” in the UK after casting aspersions on the integrity of civil servants with claims that Shitehall's scheming Masonic secret handshake sodomite / paedo brotherhood are far from 'politically impartial' and ‘fiddling the figures’ viz their Cassandra-like predictions of Britain's post-Brexit economic status.

Shitehall's unelected Civil Service mandarins politically neutral? Bollocks. About as politically neutral as Heinrich Himmler – a clique of arrogant Freemason scum who believe they're smarter than the average punter and run the world – with their brass necked corrupt number typified by likes of Gus O'Dongell – a snowflake tosspot and Vatican espionage shill – and Tony Bliar's gopher – whose skidmark involvement is alleged to be all over dodgy weapons of mass distraction dossiers – and okaying the 187 assisted suicide hit on Dr David Kelly.

Talk about hypocrisy beyond borders – this perma-sun-tanned, glabrous immigrant stock wanker Umunna is a direct threat to democracy – whatever the fuck that is – by ignoring the will of the voting majority and attempting to reverse the Brexit vote – justifying such a treasonous act with a statement of 'I know better than the common herd sheeple'.

Hmmm, common herd sheeple indeed – and for the majority, fixed in a mesmeric state of mass media induced hypnagogia – that might be the case. But from the lips of the canny anarchist rebel few, we say send forth Blind Pew to serve this treacherous kunt with a political 'scarlet letter' – and a big Black Spot adorning the missive's centre.

Next on the Remainiac name n shame hit list is arch-Remoaner Lord Andy Pandy Adonut who - in collusion with war criminal Tony Bliar and Lord Peter Scandalson of the Felchers - has kick started a nationwide tour to campaign for an Eire-style second referendum - to sabotage Brexit.

But there again, no fucker's interested in the dog wanker's aloof and unqualified opinion – as all he had was a single Leave or Remain vote – the same as the rest of us – and this 'reductio ad absurdum' rhetoric that 'we must' have a second referendum is gonna float like a lead duck. Obviously Donut cast his ballot with the Remainiac side and comes across as a sore loser.

To wit, with this afore-listed cabal of treacherous Euro-stoolie apostates, any semblance of Union Jack-waving Patriotism and respect for the 'Democratic Will of the People' has left the proverbial building.

And as to the Brussels-based EUSSR unelected political zeroes, Michelle Barnyard and his Belgian pederast sidekick, Guy Verhofstadt - and the other 24/7 inebriated wanker, Jean-Claude Drunkard – all three of the useless cunts can choke on their own unqualified arrogance.

Speaking in the European Parliament, Guy Verhofstadt, the EUSSR’s Brexit chief, stated "What we will never allow at the end of these Brexit negotiations is for Britain to walk away with a better position, a better status outside the EUSSR, than inside the EUSSR."

And there it is, Brussels vindictiveness, spelled out plain n simple. For this Archontic Scarlet Council and the High Priests of Graft & Corruption, their own sacerdotal caste and geo-political interests come first and foremost – hence any hazard posed to this status quo – as per our wilful Brexit heterodoxy – results in them threatening to punish the UK at will during this asinine 'transition period' - by closing off parts of the 27 'remaining' member states' single market to British companies via the use of focused sanctions to 'suspend certain benefits of the internal market' - should Brussels conclude that Britain has transgressed some illusory EUSSR law.

No shit, little wonder at Verhofstadt's toxic venom - for the Brussels hierarchy were gobsmacked into shock n awe mode viz the UK's Brexit vote – and are now shitting kittens that Britain, being the first domino to topple, might just spark a chain reaction as every other fucker and their dog, sick of being shit on - opts for a referendum, ditches the Euro currency, slam their borders closed to the immigrant swarms - and return to being insular, sovereign 'and profitable, debt-free' nation states. Greece, first to go – followed by Italy, Spain .... and then ... ?

Hence both Donald 'Rhino' Tusk and Jean-Claude Drunkard are dead set on convincing Brits to change their minds and stay a hostage / prisoner in the EUSSR – for when Britain does eventually free itself of Brussels shackles – and, as mentioned above, the economically blighted / migrant-infested member states of the 27 nation community see her rise once again in global trade prosperity - 'post-Brexit' – as a sovereign entity – then they too might demand their own In / Out referendums – and the Coudenhove-Kalergi EUSSR Federation design will be more fucked up than a soup sandwich – same as it was previously under Hitler's flawed 'Fortress Europe Superstate' leadership, back in 1945.

A philosophical point to ponder upon. Dodos refused to listen to common sense, got fat on the bounty of the land, and devolved from flight – and now they're extinct. What does that tell us?

Posh Dave Scameron was clueless when finally cornered into honouring his loose lipped In / Out EUSSR membership referendum pledge – and no fucker or their dog in government – not even the Mystic Meg – predicted or thought this impossible scenario through – that the fickle common herd would vote Leave – hence had zero idea of what a Brexit situation would entail viz Article 50 being triggered or giving the Brussels kleptocrat hierarchy and the graft and corruption-ridden EUSSR community the big finger.

Point is, we need the EUSSR like an extra arsehole – but, by Christ, the Brussels klepto-Philistines need Britain – and might once more, if the manky Merkel's grotty Germans go squirly again and kick start another World War, as they did in 1914 - and again in 1945. On those occasions their European victims were only too glad to see the British military venture over the Channel – twice - and boot the fuckers back into Krautland. No mention of trade sanctions and the likes then, we prudently note.

Thought for the day. So, WTF do we think of the Tory's Brexit negotiations plan? A clueless clusterfuck – seen better organised riots - for even this proposed 'status-quo' transition period presents a betrayal of the core principles of Brexit.
The 'Maybot' needs to drop the 'Timid Terry' spineless jellyfish act, start glugging down the testosterone supplements - and adopt a split personality 'take no prisoners' stance – then start shooting from the hip – and ripping Brussels kleptocrat and Remainiac scrotums off at the groin.

In reality it's immaterial WTF 650 House of Conmans MPs or Upper House of Frauds 'Vermin in Ermine' peers – think. It’s all about respecting the majority vote decision of We, the British people.

Further to this, the tenacious Brexiteers are of a rightful and justified opinion Britain can always walk out of these negotiations with no deal – free from the constraints of EUSSR restrictive regulations and laws – or ridiculous divorce fees – and immediately adopt WTO trade tariffs.

A report released earlier this month by canny bean counters indicated Brussels and their EUSSR 'Comply or Else' control freak community would be £500 billion quid a year worse off if Britain walks out with no deal – and that fact alone sees Brussels kleptocrats shitting kittens.

There again, we must beware, for the enemy Fifth Columnists are already through the gates – (Hammond, Ken 'Boy Groper' Clarke, Annie Sourpuss, serial divorcee / alien buttinsky Gina Miller, etcetera, et al) - as Britain’s Freemason-infested elitist ruling classes – arch Europhile stooges all – have thrown the Montesquieu trias politica principles of separation of powers (executive, legislative, judiciary) to the vagaries of the four winds and given up all pretence of neutrality viz Brexit – and are at Brussels beck and call to sabotage at will.

Yet another treasonous pro-EUSSR Remoaner campaign to reverse the Brexit vote has been covertly 'slipped' a sneaky excess of £400,000 nicker of funding from the malignant US-Hungarian zillionaire Georgie Soreass, via his noxious Colour Revolutions Foundation.
The anti-Brexit 'Worst for Britain' offensive, co-founded by Guyanese immigrant trouble-maker Gina Miller and chaired by that meddlesome Bliarite scumster – the preposterous 'Marky Mark' Malloch-Brown - now has fellow traitor and former ONE campaign director Eloise Knobb – as a fall guy CEO patsy.

And to quickly return to the subject of clusterfucks - Tory-originated or otherwise - we already have this barmy 'combat-ready' Diarrhoea & Vomit Party deluding themselves they're gonna grab the UKIP alternative political party spot and take control of Parliament to reverse cuts to Broken Britain's defence budget so our once-sceptred isle can again become a war-mongering nation.

Conversely, the Diarrhoea & Vomit crowd are about to learn, in short order, that they have competition – a French Macron / Republique En Marche-backed (and conspiratorially funded by Brussels) 'Renew Party' - ready to be launched with a political agenda dead set on reversing the Brexit vote and staying under the Brussels EUSSR jackboot.
Renew held a meeting in London last weekend where the names of 222 future House of Conmans election candidate hopeful's were announced – with a vision paralleling the gung ho D & V gang's - to boost that number to 650 before the next election.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
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