Nasty Party Slam Three-Kid Families

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Since his ‘enhanced austerity declaration’ earlier this week, the Nasty Party’s intellectually-challenged Grant ‘Comb Over’ Shatt has been ‘unfriended’ and seen his passport to social acceptance revoked - becoming the target for a campaign of death threats across the spectrum of the UK’s Facebook and Twatter communal networks – launched by a veritable legion of the disaffected, unemployed parents of three (along with four, five, six and seven) child families.

Shatt, the cerebrally-bovine incumbent Tory MP tasked with representing the interests of the Welwyn Twatfield constituency - and Cabinet Minister with responsibility for the ‘Pseudonym & Schizophrenia’ portfolio – is on an ego trip the size of the national debt and pushing this controversial ‘vendre un canard à moitié’ (to half-sell a duck) scheme to forward PM Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society concept and get the lazy arsed common herd off their proverbial behinds and out on the streets from dawn til dusk on systematic ‘mission impossible’ job hunts.

Henceforth so much for our beloved welfare state - no social security benefits for a third child if you're out of a job and on the ‘rock n roll’ - as a direct result of government mismanagement and our flatline economy – all bankster-induced through their unregulated Russian Roulette speculation / gambling culture with other peoples’ money.

Shatt, yet another Tory frog who dreams of being a toad – holds the office of Tory Party chairman – a post he took over from the disgraced expense-fiddling Baroness Seedy Warthog (former Minister for Pakiland Affairs) - with neither hardly representative models of moral rectitude – informed one gutter press hack from the Ripoffs Review that he wants to see working and jobless families treated the same – like non-entity drones – and unemployed parents deprived of child benefit, income support and tax credits for a third sprog.

Such a move will force them into the same ballpark predicament as gainfully employed / working parents who can no longer afford to have large families since the witless Gordon ‘Incapability’ Broon and his New Labour crew of incompetents and war criminals oversaw the British end of the 2007 global financial crisis and collapse of our once-sceptred isle’s economy - and inflicted the current ‘engineered’ recession wage freeze culture – which we note conspicuously failed to include House of Conmans MPs who are up for an imminent £6,300 quid hike to their already-bloated £66,396 per annum (plus expenses) salaries.

As the Wilkins Micawber Institute of Economics-graduated Tory Chancellor ‘Jeff’ Osborne’s £26,000 nicker-a-year benefits cap for the out-of-work untermenschen (peasant class) takes effect – with a cap of £20,000 planned for the 2014 April Fool’s Day budget - Grant Shatt informed press hacks that further radical reforms to welfare are on the table for the current year - doubtless a rehash of the Malthusian concept of how to keep milking the cow without feeding it.

Shatt, a former mushroom polisher until he contracted coccidioidomycosis - which ate away most of his brain and left him with the IQ of a small potted plant, galloping halitosis and a Walter Mitty personality disorder – is of the same mind as Herr Gruppenfuhrer Ian Duncan Shit – the DWP Secretary – (both the type of blokes who could fuck up a perfectly good anvil) - that 380,000 unemployed under-25 year olds are the next target to lose housing benefit – a draconic ‘reform’ (sic) which will free up £1:8 billion quid that can be better squandered on supplying arms to the fractious Syrian rebel army.

In this proposal, put forward by the Ministry for What Can We Fuck With Next, unemployed under-25s should be deprived of taxpayer-funded housing benefit, thus forcing them to live with their parents in perpetuity.
Now that’s simply gotta be a recipe for an epidemic of conflict and chronic depression, resulting in ritual suicides (parents and kids) and topping the upper reaches of the International Lemming Self Harm Scale.

Father Seamus McFudger of the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Pederasts parish at Smegmadale–on-Sea, informed one press hack from the Catamites Gazette that “Here again it all comes down to rhetoric versus reality when we see this unelected Con-Dem coalition government’s agents resorting to another one-size-fits-all approach to every fucking thing, and applying stealth methods to profile and target devout Roman Catholic families and the more prolific breeding members of our society – pikey travellers and folks without a TV set.”

“But believe me, nothing pisses God off more than humanity’s marginalised minority groups being subjected to unnecessary tribulations and misery – and all to fund foreign wars and MP’s pay raises.”

“So, we ask, what the fuck happened to our Big Society and ‘We’re all in this together’ bullshit dynamic that Posh Dave Scameron was preaching? It’s hardly the common herd’s fault that Slaggie Twatcher de-industrialised the country over a spat with the unions and miners - and snuffed Old King Coal - hence excising the prefix ‘Great’ from Britain and replacing it with ‘Broken’ – which in all truth should be ‘Fucked’ really.”

“Thus there’s no fucking jobs to be had – so instead of getting their proverbial act together and organising a job creation scheme, the Nasty Party cabal simply slash welfare benefits.”
“So, we contemplate, will the government start a media propaganda campaign to persuade the proles to take a leaf out of China’s ‘Guide to Happy Families’ game book and start tossing their unwanted third sprogs in the nearest river?”

“Then of course will come the pensions – working for a further fifteen years, with the qualifying age reset to 80. We might be living longer – but that’s due improved personal lifestyle choices and nutrition - and definitely not attributable in any shape or form to the social care system or National Ill-Health Service and their ‘Murder Incorporated’ Liverpool Care Pathway euthanasia project.”

“From Keir Hardy to Ramsay MacDonald and onwards, the Labour Party’s Moscow Commie Mole crew (ex-PM ‘Red Harold’ Wilson and his Bolshie handler and personal Dominatrix, Marcia Forkbender) - through to Tony 'Miranda' Bliar and his Cyclops-Paedo successor, Gordon 'Incapability' Brown - have spent decades undermining the long term future of the British economy by introducing their parasitic welfare state policies – and along comes the two-faced PM Dave ‘Austerity Man’ Scameron and his Nasty Party Eton-weaned hoodlums and make a total fuck of everything in three years.”

Fellattia McSkanger, a 16-year old mother-of-three from Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim social housing estate confided to a press hack from the Benefit Cheats Gazette that “Fer fuck’s sake me, kids is livin’ off crisps an’ Pol Pot Insta-Noodles already an’ I’ve got nowt left at the end of the week fer a bit of snort or new vibrator batteries - an’ I still owes £30 nicker ter Ron’s Genital Jewellery Emporium down at the Civic Centre fer havin’ me pissflaps an’ clit’ hood pierced.”

“Big Society my arse – the effin’ Libservative coalition scumbags are perfectin’ a dystopian state wiv us on the receivin’ end. Wot we’ve got is a government of the rich, by the rich, for the rich – an’ a Nasty Party cabinet comprised of a mix of onanists, fudgers, kiddie fiddling paedo’s an’ assorted dog wankers not worth minimum wage – an’ they give the likes of that child-molestin’ kunt Jimbo Savile an effin’ knighhood an’ he gets ter go hikin’ up in Scotland wiv old Prince Dobby Big Ears.”

“Now we have this prick Grant Shatt MP - aka Basil Brush, Foxy McFly, Seb Greenphlegm an’ what-have-yer – the twat’s got more fuckin’ alter-ego aliases than one of Mossad’s Al Qaeda terrorist stooges like that Mohammed al Patsy bloke an’ his mates wot blew themselves up outside Canary Wharf after the knobheads missed their tube train connections – an’ now Shatt an’ his baldy shitbag pal Ian Duncan Shit is after scrappin’ the entire welfare state an’ makin’ it every man fer himself – survival of the fittest.”

Thought for the day: Talk about a Womb to Tomb control freak dystopian state apparatus viz welfare benefit cuts - just wait until the Public Space Protection Orders section of the Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Bill (see the Queen's Speech July 2013) is enforced – which will not only make homelessness and sleeping rough an offence – but holds the latent provisions to criminalise every fucking thing the common herd might do outside (and most probably ‘inside’) their own homes – and all to be enforced by your local council’s PCSO’s and zero-IQ / moronic Community Enforcement Officers – seconded from the Renta-Thug Agency.

And now for even more Tory bullshit – as the Great Satan simply ‘had’ to conjure up a false flag Muslim terrorist attack on the finish line of the Boston Marathon to further demonise Islam, then the UK’s venal Powers That Be decided it would be a grand idea to hold a copycat event – hence the staging Woolwich Red Hand Gang ‘amateur’s night’ mosh pit pantomime and kick-start a chain reaction of mad dog EDL protests, mosque bombings and generalised sectarian hate crimes.

But, wait for it – that’s fuck all as the ‘security services’ and Met Plod Squad are planning (read ‘plotting’) a carbon copy (toxic variety) of the recent New York Subway tests - conducted to assess how effective future bio-weapon viruses can be spread by Jolly Jihadi Muslim terrorist types to infect and devastate the massed ranks of the common herd.

These might well include a tarted up version of the Sneezy Pig Flu - or the dreaded Chinese Demented Duck Disease viruses – or even Aum Shinrikyo’s tried and tested Tokyo Special Sarin Gas (as used by Syrian rebel cannibals) – and are set to be carried out on the London Underground network to see how quickly poisonous gases can spread across the Tube network.

The tests on the unsuspecting guinea pigs – commuters - will be carried out over several days later this month using a variety of chemical agents. These ‘agents' (gases) will be released between the morning and evening peak travel times near the entrances to the tunnels – and which the sheeple will be unable to see, smell or taste.
Eleven tube stop locations are set to be targeted and a further forty underground stations monitored to check how efficiently the gas has moved through them (allergic reactions / coughing fits / body counts).

Now there’s a good reason to stay above ground and hire a Boris Bike to get round the City on.
Regardless, wear a gas mask – and fuck the Freemason’s secret handshake club and Big Brother – and his sister – and the Spew World Order.

To conclude, within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describe Grant Shatt or his condition - however it has been unanimously agreed by a conclave of newly-marginalised three child families that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.