Tory's 'Vote Labour' Election Strategy a Success

In this morning’s ‘Political Treachery Afoot' post-election edition we bring you the latest and greatest on Worstminster's Machiavellian manipulations and scandal-mongering political hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In the wake of yesterday's monumental 'Slaughterhouse 17' election fubar, the backfire cacophony of the Tory's snap election gamble reverberates around Worstminster - and the wet dream 'increased majority' flight of fancy and intended cabinet reshuffle prediction goes topsy-turvy in a spectacular Wile E. Coyote fashion – while at first glance this calamitous ballot outcome has the potential to see Terry 'Death Row' Mayhem getting the boot and the Tory Nasty Party sat on Labour's not-so-comfy opposition benches if Labour, the Lib-Dums and SNP conspire to form a Losers Coalition.

And would such prove to be a Progressive Alliance? My ass it would not – more like the Chaos Coalition – all wheedling their very own sinister agendas into the business of government – with Brexit the first to fall casualty – alongside the good of the people. Hmmm, the best of a bad bunch tag carries a zero-ratings recommendation.

Regardless, Thursday saw a 69% voter turnout - the highest warm body count since Broken Britain's common herd demographic caught a dose of the squirly bug and, against their better nature and the hard lessons of history, voted that grotty Grantham broomstick merchant – 'Mag the Slag' Twatcher - into office.

Basically the result reflects a protest vote against an utterly discredited political Establishment and the Nasty Party's batshit bonkers election manifesto – cobbled together and approved by dingbat Ozzie political 'dark arts' strategist (sic) Lynton Crosby - with the youth sector getting off their complacent arses for once after swallowing - hook, line n sinker - Labour's more scent than substance campaign manifesto pledges - and the Micawberish Corbynomics payday loan plan to fund the same – imprudently voting for a foreign debt-encumbered future.

Meanwhile, around the graft and corruption corridors of the House of Conmans and Upper House of Frauds, the chit-chat sounds like the 'night of the long knives' / sideways promotion (read 'sacking') cabinet reshuffle intrigue is on hold and thrown to the vagaries of the four winds – lest 'dingbat superior' Mayhem herself is on the receiving end of the Black Spot and cops the proverbial boot in a Bonkers Boris al Pasha Attaturk Nonsense-headed leadership coup due an overdose of unqualified arrogance and deluded belief in her own popularity - that led to the botched 'boosted majority' snap election fiasco - more of an outright fucking loss than the prophesied outright win - and has emerged with a credibility-deficient status and the laughing stock of Brussels EUSSR hierarchy.

So too Mayhem's disgraced bright spark senior aides, the botox-deficient Fiona Hill and Nick 'Fungus Face' Timothy, a brace of wankers despised by Tory insiders for their rudeness and brass necked hubris. Both should be hauled over the hot coals for foisting their Faustian snap election game plan advice on the silly woman – and as pen hits paper – this inept pair of Bliarite double agent provocateur moles have fallen on their own swords and resigned - before they got tarred n feathered n locked in a Tower Hill pillory for dogs to piss on.

Well, it's nigh on a year since the EUSSR membership referendum returned the majority 'Fuck Brussels' / Leave vote and the Tory's Brexit negotiations strategy is still as organised as blind man's bluff – all due Mayhem's feeble leadership, possibly linked directly to an advanced case of post-menopausal 'Indecision Syndrome'.

There again, from the seasoned view of conspiracy theorists – routinely the first to smell a rat – the Maybot's ill-conceived snap election scheme proved a boon for New Labour's smeared and maligned hard core Trotskyist leader Jeremy 'Mugwump' Corbyn – with the toxic Bliarite factions now running for cover.

If this was a Brussels concocted plot initiated on the orders of the unelected 50 member European Round Table of Industrialists – the EUSSR's ruling fascist control freak Corporatocracy – (all of whom meet the definition of sociopathic personalities) - and implemented by the venal likes of Gina Miller and the Bliarites and Tory quislings with Lord Peter Scandalson of the Felchers (aka Vermin in Ermine) at their head to beguile and delude Terry Mayhem into fielding a snap election campaign - and with treacherous intent – alienate hard line Tory voters into casting a ballot for some other fucker - only to see the Tories end up on the opposition benches with a Labour / SNP / Lib-Dum Coalition of Chaos running the country – and the Brexit process being stalled and overturned – to initiate a second – and this time pre-rigged - Brexit referendum - then all went as planned.

Perhaps the blatant sabotage - to subvert Broken Britain's Brexit process - by calling a snap election then going with this insane self-destruction / designed to lose votes / kamikaze snap election manifesto targeting the hard core middle class sector of Tory voters – the elderly – and their pensions, their winter fuel allowance, flogging off their homes to fund social care – and last but by no means least – putting the kibosh on their grandkids free school lunches.

Hence every fucker and their dog lost out – apart from the Brussels EUSSR hierarchy who are laughing their socks off viz Terry Mayhem's diminished leadership clout.
The damage the Nasty Party suffered from its involvement in the Lib-Dum coalition viz the 2010 / 15 Parliament remains a suppurating wound – and regardless of MP seats gained, and the Bliarite shits gobsmacked, Old / New Labour still suffered its third defeat in a row – the Tories lost their majority - and UKIP suffered an extinction level event - with Nigel Farage and Paul Nutcase voting Labour – and the wheels came off the Wee Nippy's SNP's independence bandwagon.

Och aye, Nicola Sturgeon's fascist, paedo-protecting Scottish Nonce Party copped a morale-bashing overdue wake up call to knock them out of their self-delusional 'second independence referendum' reverie, with Holyrood's bumbling ex-Worst Minister, Alex 'Porky Pict' Salmond – (the tosser who failed to investigate Aberdeen's untouchable elitist establishment paedophile ring which targets special needs children – regardless of being handed a dossier of documented evidence – "I'll be studying this later" – then reputedly instructed his Lord Advocate to unleash the Crown Office's Paedophile Protection Unit to expedite the arrest, prosecution and imprisonment of the kiddie fiddling sexual abuse cult exposé campaigners instead) - heading for the Jobcentre on Monday morning in search of some position more suitable to his intellectually-challenged abilities – road sweeper, perhaps. History will not remember this political stooge kindly.

To wit, let's not overlook the fact that Tim 'Renta-Muppet' Farron's Lib-Dum gang did a two steps forward and one back – as since disgraced ex-party leader Mick Clogg stabbed the student class in the back with the £9,000 quid tuition fees treachery, then their credibility is on a par with investing in one of Bernie Madoff's rip-off investment funds.

As to Ian Paisley's Ulster-based ultra-bigot gay-bashing DUP (Democratic Unionist Proddy) party and their pugilist leader, former bare knuckles prize fighter 'Androgynous Arlene' Foster – she might well be in a position to assume the symbolic role of kingmaker.

Thought for the day. Really, you couldn't make this shit up. Terry Maybot parrots her presumptuous 'strong n stable leadership' soundbites - and instead she creates a 'strong n stable' opposition – under the aegis of the much maligned Mr Corbyn.

Alas, do we not all thirst for a return to politics before the age of spin, when Britain's elected officials had genuine beliefs.
Yet zillions of voters are finally waking up to the corrupt reality of today's system of government and turned their backs not just on Tony Bliar’s - but too Posh Dave Scameron’s - style of slick, cynical and dishonest dog n pony show politics.

To conclude, while Terry Mayhem contemplates ritual seppuku and the Nasty Party Tory wannabes plot their leadershit coups in dark corners, the gobsmacked Bliarite Labour MPs, party apparatchiks and 'gray eminences' (Peter Scandalson) have gotta be kicking their own arses – for if they'd backed and voted for their party chief instead of fielding a hate campaign to discredit him – then the snap election result would have seen a Labour government in power, holding the front door key to the House of Conmans – and Mrs Laura Álvarez Corbyn choosing the new curtains for 10 Downing Street.

Disclaimer: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled rabid royals, noncing nobles, political ponces, perjuriousl Oxford college principals, bent money-laundering lawyers and corruption-ridden porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' casualties and thrown into paranoid psychosis states of scandalous exposure anxiety attacks, no innocent non-combatant women and kids - and especially so Syrian refugee children – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry 'felcher friendly' sized mammals – ferrets and stoats, voles, moles, white mice, bum rats, chinchillas, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, miniature coypus, dwarf beavers, etcetera, et al – were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

Conversely, a large number of the NSA – GCHQ / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced by our act of disrespect for political correctness.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness. An anti-authoritarian counter-culture alternative opinion blog and free radical alternative media source 'not owned' by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the ultra-racist ZioNazi Edomite Mafia 'Kosher Nostra' crime syndicate - and committed to the relay of open source information – plus 'hopefully' immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare mention the dirty dealings of the Met's PPU (Paedophile Protection Unit) or expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Nottingham's Nasty Paedo Club or Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle arse bandit / Violate BD/SM Club VIP (Very Important Pederast) kiddie fiddling Edinburgh / Balmoral / Glencoe / Aberdeen-based cabal – along with their Westminster and Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office / Secret Squirrel Security Services / Plod Squad sodomite - paedo-enablers / cover-up protectors).