Imbeciles n Deadlegs Run the World

In today’s 'Better Late Than Never' edition we bring you fresh proof that the world is run by fucking idiots and their lickspittle, sock puppet stooges - with the latest and greatest in juicy scandal-mongering gossip from Sapphie Godemiche, 'manning' (sic) the 'gay discrimination' mobile hotline outside Biffo's Barf Burger fast food franchise at Smegmadale on Sea for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Sixteen-year old teenager Feral Beryl McScrote claims she was kicked out of a seaside McDonald’s Chew n Spew outlet for using the women’s toilets - as staff thought she was male - due her wearing a Skanger designer label 'sailor boy blue' shell suit and sporting a punk gelled Mohican hair do – plus her customary five o'clock shadow.

Beryl, who was visiting Smegmadale for a day out of sea air and 'happy slapping' seagulls perched along the Smegmadale promenade with her fellow girl gang members, informed one gutter press hack from the red top Daily Shitraker “I ordered me effin' tucker an' left it wiv me girlfriend, Slapella, cos I had ter go ter the bog an' take a leak after all the Old Headbanger lager we'd supped down the Dog n Pikey pub earlier."

"Anyways I'm sat on the crapper an' this fuckin' tosser of an assistant manager comes bangin' on the bog door an' sez 'yer got no right in here – this is the ladies toilet an' you should be in the gents next door'."

"So I sez 'yer can go an' shag spiders yer stupid cunt cos I'm a fuckin' girl'. Then he sez 'okay, so show us yer i/d' – an' I fires straight back 'I ain't got any on me, numbnuts.Can't yer tell I'm a girl by the sound of me fuckin' voice?"
"An' he sez 'That's bullshit cos yer sound like yer got a pair of bollocks an' yer just in here smellin' the toilet seats like wot the dog wanker pervs do. Anyway I want you an' yer gang of gobshite dyke silverback mates outa here before I calls the plods' – so I sez 'then call the fuckin' plods cos we don't give a flyin' fuck – cos yer nowt but a sad twat an' guilty of gay discrimination."

A press release issued post-event by the Smegmadale branch of McDonald’s stated: “We can confirm a group of rowdy individuals were forcibly evicted from our Slag's Quay restaurant by the Police Domestic Terrorism Squad, following several complaints over inappropriate behaviour."
"This group were asked to leave the restaurant on numerous past occasions due drunk and disorderly conduct and groping our waitress staff – and today's incident culminated in the police being called to evict the abusive girl gang. These actions were taken due to the unacceptable behaviour of the group spiking their milk shakes with a bottle of vodka and had nothing to do with Ms McScrote using the ladies toilets.”

Sgt Bev Titwank, spokesperson for Smegmadale Plod Squad added: “Officers were called to the Slag’s Quay branch of McDonald’s following reports a group of butch lesbian youths were being abusive and threatened to bugger the assistant manager with a strapon dildo – hardly the type of anti-social conduct acceptable in a seaside family restaurant – even if it is only a shitty fast food outlet and not one of our High Street's more up-market five star eateries."
"Apparently an altercation ensued between the youths and staff after some arsehole customer out to stir up trouble complained to staff that a person they wrongly believed to be male was using the women’s toilets."

Well, WTF can be expected from the basic pay rate intellectually-challenged morons who work for McD's Chew n Spew – who not only can't tell Stork from Butter – or Mayonnaisse - or which way is 'up' - nor a butch dyke girl gang capo from some Chav knob head thug fresh out of the local Asbo Central Academy.

But to be fair, McD's are on a par with Broken Britain's security service imbeciles viz this mistaken identity score – specifically the SRS (aka 14 Field Security and Intelligence Company / The Det / Special Reconnaissance Service) psychos who, special forces intelligence (sic) gathering trained besides, still can't tell a Brazilian electrician from a Mid-East Muslim jihadi terrorist type – and who stalked the hapless Latino sparkie from his digs to Stockwell Tube Station - cornered and floored him inside a train carriage then fired a couple of clips of 9mm parabellum rounds into his skull – to make sure he was no longer a threat.
And these incompetent 'untouchable' motherfuckers escaped murder charges via a 'whoops – sorry' / national security / not in the public interest proclamation.

Jean Charles da Silva e de Menezes: 22/07/2005 – a day that will go down in the annals of infamy – along with the government complicit murders of Dr David Kelly (weapons of mass distraction whistle blowing / Bliar gave the hit go-ahead) and Jill Dando (Very Important Paedophile expose at her fingertips / Bliar gave the hit go-ahead).

While we're at it, let's include every other police investigation / official inquiry whitewash these ruling establishment Freemason Satanist scumsters have launched and manipulated to a 'nothing to see here – move along folks' conclusion.

Guy Fawkes / Gunpowder Plot Non-Inquiry. Treachery of the Blue Books inquiry (circa 1847). Profumo / Cliveden Set coverup. Aberfan. Tay Bridge. Notorious Cullen Inquiry / Dunblane. Wass Inquiry. Lockerbie Inquiry. Hutton Inquiry. Chilcot Inquiry. Leveson Inquiry. Mark Duggan Inquest. Operation Ore child porno / paedo abuse investigation – (Bliar ordered it shut down) - and last but not least the stillborn Dame Fifi Woolfe / Baroness Butler-Sloshed 'finally just getting up steam and ready to roll' Dame Lowell Goddard kiddie fiddling inquiry (mega-gallons of whitewash on order – one coat covers up a multitude of crimes).

Thought for the day. Do you know anyone who has been shoved inside a big black North face holdall or terminated with extreme prejudice (triple tap headshots) by the Special Reconnaissance Service or MI5 thugs for using the ladies toilets in McDonalds?
How about Pukerella’s Pizza Hut or Cilla’s Chunderama or Pol Pot's Insta Noodles Stand or Pedro’s Beaner Pukery or Vic’s Vomitarium?

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Raving Rupert Mudrock's News Corp and the uber-racist Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence - (unless one has the audacity to dare expose, name and shame the membership ranks of Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle / Violate BD/SM Club kiddie fiddling cabal – along with their Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office sodomite / paedo-enablers and cover-up protectors).