In today's
'Let's Kick Some Paranoid Psychotic Ass' nasty news roundup we bring our
readers the latest and greatest virtue-signalling gossip topic: Socio-Political
Correctness Sleaze' – a timely scandalous exposé of fragile sensibilities
‘victim’ hypocrisy from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill –
publishing, as always, 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and
tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire and parody to sate the palates of all
budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic
career radical, pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal
genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero
respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing and humourless authoritarian 0:01%
predatory paedo' elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State
Sabbatean death cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated
sense of entitlement and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into
believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.
A veritable
legion of pub club drinkers are fighting back against the ‘numpty dumpty’
nonsense plans to rename their beloved boozer - a knee jerk political
correctness response from the Greene King brewery - to a wave of complaints
emanating from some insignificant university lecturer on a holier-than-thou,
self-gratifying morality mission – in the wake of the individual personally
labelling the pub’s name as offensive to their singular narcissist – and
stunted – fragile sensibilities – and in the process thus displaying their
total ignorance of Britain’s iconic sports car history.
Last week pub
chain owners, Greene King, informed a gaggle of gutter press hacks that a
popular watering hole - ‘The Midget’ pub in Abingdon, Oxfordshire - was to be
rebranded following complaints from some androgynous lecturer - who claimed to
be affected with dwarfism - labelled its name as ‘disablist hate speech’ – and
in the true paranoid, psychotic fashion that affects the egocentric, was
convinced the pub name was designed to malign them personally - along with
others affected with dwarfism – such as elves, pixies, and leprechauns.
Conversely,
while Greene King have announced that to pacify this complainant’s grievance,
‘The Midget’ pub would be rebranded with some name deemed less offensive to
humourless, ‘victim fixated’ paranoid personalities, they made zero reference
of name change plans for other pubs in the Oxfordshire area – specifically
those with monikers that might also be deemed equally offensive to the ears of
certain like-minded psychotic individuals or social groups – specifically the
Old Blind Git, or the Cripple’s Rest.
Ergo, focusing
on the originator of this brouhaha - Liverpool Hope University's senior serial complainant, Dr Erin Pritchard, a
lecturer in disability studies – (and the application of unqualified arrogance
to achieve one’s goals) - kick started a petition in January, stating for the
public record that: "I have dwarfism and like the majority of people with
dwarfism affecting their sense of humour glands, I find the term midget
offensive – regardless of the blatant fact that the pub was named after a
classic British sports car - whose name is preceded by the letters MG – and the
bar’s interior is plastered with framed photos of the MG Midget car’s 18 year
production range history - and not photos of circus or fairground midgets being exploited due their dwarfism."
Hmmm, a
pertinent question to pose to this so-offended ‘dwarf’ - the androgynous Dr Erin
Pritchard, is if he / she, being situated in Scouseland, actually took note of
the ‘so derogatory’ – and offensive (to her eyes) pub sign – displaying a piccy
of the MG Midget sports car – (production 1961 to 1979) when calling in for a
refreshing pint of Old Gimp bitter – or has the pub and name been simply
pointed out to her as an online-viewed discriminatory slur that might be worth
taking a negative response issue with via a public social media forum – and
drum up some monetary compo’ – or just stir the shit, out of deranged spite?
Contrastingly,
while the MG Midget was a most popular mid-range priced sports car for full
size adults, it was not favoured by namesake ‘midgets’ – or dwarves themselves
- as they could not reach the pedals – nor see over the dash board, if seated
to drive.
Perhaps this
might be the subconscious offending fact that this Pritchard character takes
issue with – as MG failed to manufacture a disabled-friendly size of Midget -
approximate to the dimensions of a child's pedal car – to thus accommodate
their diminutive physical height limitations.
To wit,
Pritchard’s ridiculous name-change petition has been met with fury from
Abingdon locals, as legions of beer-swilling patrons fight back against the
latest asinine woke joke DEI / ‘I’m Offended’ complaint from Victims Anonymous
- to rebrand a pub deemed – in their minds only - to have an offensive name –
all wholly ignorant to the fact that the pub, which opened in 1974, is named
after the MG Midget, the pre-mentioned, iconic mini sports car - which was
manufactured right there – on the Abingdon doorstep.
In an effort of
compliance – and to placate both sides – specifically the boozers - Greene King
primarily rebranded The Midget pub to The Roaring Raindrop - as a tribute to
another MG car - the EX 181 - but local residents and pub patrons have fought
back, demanding The Midget's original name be maintained – with their
collective Xmas message to any and all emotionally-unstable dwarfs - to go fuck
themselves.
But this is the
life of Dr ‘Petty’ Pritchard – a notorious whingeing twat, all-round dog
wanker, and serial complainant who, in the past, focused their warped
egocentricity to successfully harass Marks & Sparks to rename their Midget
Gems children’s candy product to ‘Mini Gems’ – and gained their subservient
compliance due commitment to being an inclusive retailer that did not wish to
upset anyone – especially potential money-spending customers - regardless of
how utterly ridiculous the paranoid ‘dwarf cult’ demands.
The
perennially-offended Pritchard, who is affected by the stunted growth condition
of achondroplasia, harangued supermarkets and confectionery makers about
changing the name of the sweet, raising concerns the use of the term midget had
its roots in Victorian era freak shows – which she might well have been
exhibited in one - billed as the 'Poison Dwarf' - had she lived in those dark
days of yore.
Hmmm, talk
about so-called ‘dehumanising remarks’ indeed - all in the eye and mind of the
beholder, so thanks be to fuck that MG never produced a car named 'The Hobbit',
or the complaints shit would really be hitting the fandango.
One ponders on
the reaction to this virtue-signalling hysteria from the Army’s legions of
thirsty paratroopers who frequented The Midget’s saloon bar over the years –
from their nearby Dalton Barracks free fall training centre, located on the
former RAF Abingdon base.
To close, The
Midget’s landlady, Mandy Fuckingham, had this response for salivating press hacks: “This complaint is obviously, to all intents and purposes of
interpretation, an individual who is psychotically obsessed, and to a paranoid
degree, with their lack of vertical stature.”
“People don't
come into the pub and think the name refers to a person or circus midgets - or
fairy tale dwarves – 'cos there's a huge effin’ sign with a painting of
the MG Midget on it as you drive into the car park – and the walls of our pub
are plastered with photos of the Abingdon factory's entire MG motors range.”
Editor's note to the offended: advise y'all log
onto the url below to view The Midget pub and MG range car piccies x 3.
https://www.gbnews.com/news/midget-pub-ridiculous-woke-plans-rename-offensive-oxfordshire
Allergy
warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) –
there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the
'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.
This article was composed in a known
propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox
irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of
wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids, plus a dusting of
socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest
porkies, misaligned references, 5G electro-smog radiation, and a chemtrail
residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.
