In today's 'Let's Kick Some Paranoid Psychotic Ass' nasty news roundup we bring our readers the latest and greatest virtue-signalling gossip topic: Socio-Political Correctness Sleaze' – a timely scandalous exposé of fragile sensibilities ‘victim’ hypocrisy from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – publishing, as always, 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire and parody to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing and humourless authoritarian 0:01% predatory paedo' elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State Sabbatean death cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.
A veritable legion of pub club drinkers are fighting back against the ‘numpty dumpty’ nonsense plans to rename their beloved boozer - a knee jerk political correctness response from the Greene King brewery - to a wave of complaints emanating from some insignificant university lecturer on a holier-than-thou, self-gratifying morality mission – in the wake of the individual personally labelling the pub’s name as offensive to their singular narcissist – and stunted – fragile sensibilities – and in the process thus displaying their total ignorance of Britain’s iconic sports car history.
Last week pub chain owners, Greene King, informed a gaggle of gutter press hacks that a popular watering hole - ‘The Midget’ pub in Abingdon, Oxfordshire - was to be rebranded following complaints from some androgynous lecturer - who claimed to be affected with dwarfism - labelled its name as ‘disablist hate speech’ – and in the true paranoid, psychotic fashion that affects the egocentric, was convinced the pub name was designed to malign them personally - along with others affected with dwarfism – such as elves, pixies, and leprechauns.
Conversely, while Greene King have announced that to pacify this complainant’s grievance, ‘The Midget’ pub would be rebranded with some name deemed less offensive to humourless, ‘victim fixated’ paranoid personalities, they made zero reference of name change plans for other pubs in the Oxfordshire area – specifically those with monikers that might also be deemed equally offensive to the ears of certain like-minded psychotic individuals or social groups – specifically the Old Blind Git, or the Cripple’s Rest.
Ergo, focusing on the originator of this brouhaha - Liverpool Hope University's senior serial complainant, Dr Erin Pritchard, a lecturer in disability studies – (and the application of unqualified arrogance to achieve one’s goals) - kick started a petition in January, stating for the public record that: "I have dwarfism and like the majority of people with dwarfism affecting their sense of humour glands, I find the term midget offensive – regardless of the blatant fact that the pub was named after a classic British sports car - whose name is preceded by the letters MG – and the bar’s interior is plastered with framed photos of the MG Midget car’s 18 year production range history."
Hmmm, a pertinent question to pose to this so-offended ‘dwarf’ - the androgynous Dr Erin Pritchard, is if he / she, being situated in Scouseland, actually took note of the ‘so derogatory’ – and offensive (to her eyes) pub sign – displaying a piccy of the MG Midget sports car – (production 1961 to 1979) when calling in for a refreshing pint of Old Gimp bitter – or has the pub and name been simply pointed out to her as an online-viewed discriminatory slur that might be worth taking a negative response issue with via a public social media forum – and drum up some monetary compo’ – or just stir the shit, out of deranged spite?
Contrastingly, while the MG Midget was a most popular mid-range priced sports car for full size adults, it was not favoured by namesake ‘midgets’ – or dwarves themselves - as they could not reach the pedals – nor see over the dash board, if seated to drive.
Perhaps this might be the subconscious offending fact that this Pritchard character takes issue with – as MG failed to manufacture a disabled-friendly size of Midget - approximate to the dimensions of a child's pedal car – to thus accommodate their diminutive physical height limitations.
To wit, Pritchard’s ridiculous name-change petition has been met with fury from Abingdon locals, as legions of beer-swilling patrons fight back against the latest asinine woke joke DEI / ‘I’m Offended’ complaint from Victims Anonymous - to rebrand a pub deemed – in their minds only - to have an offensive name – all wholly ignorant to the fact that the pub, which opened in 1974, is named after the MG Midget, the pre-mentioned, iconic mini sports car - which was manufactured right there – on the Abingdon doorstep.
In an effort of compliance – and to placate both sides – specifically the boozers - Greene King primarily rebranded The Midget pub to The Roaring Raindrop - as a tribute to another MG car - the EX 181 - but local residents and pub patrons have fought back, demanding The Midget's original name be maintained – with their collective Xmas message to any and all emotionally-unstable dwarfs - to go fuck themselves.
But this is the life of Dr ‘Petty’ Pritchard – a notorious whingeing twat, all-round dog wanker, and serial complainant who, in the past, focused their warped egocentricity to successfully harass Marks & Sparks to rename their Midget Gems children’s candy product to ‘Mini Gems’ – and gained their subservient compliance due commitment to being an inclusive retailer that did not wish to upset anyone – especially potential money-spending customers - regardless of how utterly ridiculous the paranoid ‘dwarf cult’ demands.
The perennially-offended Pritchard, who is affected by the stunted growth condition of achondroplasia, harangued supermarkets and confectionery makers about changing the name of the sweet, raising concerns the use of the term midget had its roots in Victorian era freak shows – which she might well have been exhibited in one - billed as the 'Poison Dwarf' - had she lived in those dark days of yore.
Hmmm, talk about so-called ‘dehumanising remarks’ indeed - all in the eye and mind of the beholder, so thanks be to fuck that MG never produced a car named 'The Hobbit', or the complaints shit would really be hitting the fandango.
One ponders on the reaction to this virtue-signalling hysteria from the Army’s legions of thirsty paratroopers who frequented The Midget’s saloon bar over the years – from their nearby Dalton Barracks free fall training centre, located on the former RAF Abingdon base.
To close, The Midget’s landlady, Mandy Fuckingham, had this response for salivating press hacks: “This complaint is obviously, to all intents and purposes of interpretation, an individual who is psychotically obsessed, and to a paranoid degree, with their lack of vertical stature.”
“People don't come into the pub and think the name refers to a person or circus midgets - or fairy tale dwarves – 'cos there's a huge effin’ sign with a painting of the MG Midget on it as you drive into the car park – and the walls of our pub are plastered with photos of the Abingdon factory's entire MG motors range.”
Editor's note to the offended: advise y'all log onto the url below to view The Midget pub and MG range car piccies x 3.
https://www.gbnews.com/news/midget-pub-ridiculous-woke-plans-rename-offensive-oxfordshire
Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.
This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids, plus a dusting of socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electro-smog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.
