An XL Bully dog owner, Jock McTwat, has raised a public demand that trigger-happy Plod Squad goons stop murdering this unstable breed of canines after his own pet, Dildo, was judged ‘dangerously out of control’ – during an attack incident in which it savaged a pet Collie - and three members of the public were also bitten and injured – resulting in the XL Bully being shot multiple times by PC McPsycho.
Dildo had recently been brought to Bonny Nonceland from England to evade the Dangerous Dog Act ban on deranged and batshit bonkers XL Bullies before it came into force – and on Sunday, 18 February, armed plods were called to a report of a large and vicious bulldog-type canine attacking an elderly Collie dog in East Kilbride.
“Local officers attended and attempted to restrain the dog which was dangerously out of control, with three people and the Collie sustaining bite injuries – thus the XL Bully was subsequently shot dead by armed plod squad officers.”
New safeguards surrounding the ownership of XL Bullies became law on February 23rd. From that date on it remains legal to own an XL Bully - but owners must ensure their dogs are muzzled, on a lead when in a public place, and male dogs had their bollocks chopped off.
McTwat had been severely criticised in the wake of reports he was transporting packs of the banned strain of canines to Bonny Nonceland, in an attempt to defy the impending English ban on the capricious, volatile breed.
The West Midlands-based McTwat is now campaigning for a Dildo’s Law to be passed in the House of Conmans, claiming his dog was murdered.
The gospel according to the IQ-deficient McTwat "Me an’ me mates have bin tryin’ ter save as many XL Bully’s as possible by movin’ them up ter Scotland – where no fucker bothers about stupid doggy laws”.
Under the La La Land provisions of the proposed Dildo’s Law, firearms officers will be prohibited from attending incidents that involve reports of dangerously out of control dogs.
Alternately, to implement this Dildo’s Law, a currently non-existent canine unit, the Dog Squad, will need to be formed – and under the supervision of a canine psychiatrist and a priest from the Church of Woof cult, the unit will be deployed with the appropriate equipment - which would consist of catchpoles and sedative-based dart guns – to placate, pacify and subdue any offending XL Bully – before it rips too many innocent passers-by to pieces - while this fantasy task force gets their shit together.
This is the second incident in the past two weeks of an XL Bully being gunned down by armed plods in the same area of East Kilbride, in South Lanarkshire; the first being of a loony canine tearing several children to shreds in a school playground, and eating a baby.
In response, Scottish Tories have stated for the public record that firearms officers "did what they had to do" and "must be trusted" to protect the public – as they did when facing down gun-toting nonce-ponce members of the kilted Tartan Tadgers Magic Circle crime syndicate that controls the Grampian kiddie fiddling, child sex trafficking trade out of Aberdeen.
Jamie McGreene, MSP for West Nonceland, said the plods must be able to act fast to protect the public.
"The
horrific case in East Kilbride exposed the public safety issues which gave
acute focus on Humza Yousaf’s Scottish Nonce Party dithering over the common
sense-driven UK-wide ban on XL Bully dogs – on a par with the restrictions and
ban on keeping lions and tigers as household pets.”
"As a goldfish owner, I understand the need to protect animal welfare, but when these big, unpredictable XL Bully dogs, like Dildo, decide to jump over the wall of a school playground and start ripping the arms and legs off children - then faced with potentially life or death situations I personally believe that even the teachers should be kitted out with heavy calibre handguns.”
McGreene closed with: "Whilst there may be some merit in using specialist sedatives or taser stun guns, by the time these suggested teams of vets and canine psychologists turn up to pacify a ‘dog-out-of-control’ incident, then in all probability the psycho, rogue Fido – rabid or not – will have bitten and chewed their way through an entire High Street of pedestrian shoppers.”
https://www.gbnews.com/news/xl-bully-dog-owner-blasts-scotland-police
Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.
This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids with socio-political satire - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.
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